account. Woane made one or two halfhearted attempts at intimidation, then
decided to chastise the haughty Pardero, but he encountered such ferocious
retaliation that he was glad to regain the sanctuary of the mess hall; and
thereafter Pardero was strictly ignored.
At no time could Pardero detect any seepage through the barrier between his
memory and his conscious mind. Always as he worked he wondered: "What kind
of man am I? Where is my home? What do I know? Who are my friends? Who has
committed this wrong against me?" He expended his frustration on the
colucoid creeper and became known as a man possessed by as inner demon, to
be avoided as carefully as possible.
For his part Pardero banished Gaswin to the most remote corner of his mind;
he would take away as few memories as possible. The work he found tolerable;
but he resented the name Pardero. To use a stranger's name was like wearing
a stranger's clothes - not a fastidious act. Still the name served as well
as any other; it was a minor annoyance.
More urgently unpleasant was the lack of privacy. He found detestable the
close intimacy of three hundred other men, most especially at mealtimes,
when he sat with his eyes fixed on his plate, to avoid the open maws, the
mounds of food, the mastication. Impossible to ignore, however, were the
belches, grants, hisses, and sighs of satiety. Surely this was not the life
he had known in the past! What then had been his life?
The question produced only blankness, a void without information. Somewhere
lived a person who had launched him across the Cluster with his hair hacked
short and as denuded of identification as an egg. Some times when he
pondered this enemy he seemed to hear wisps of possibly imaginary
sound - echos of what might have been laughter, but when he poised his head
to listen, the pulsations ceased.
The onset of darkness continued to trouble him. Often he felt urges to go
forth into the dark - an impulse which he resisted, partly from fatigue,
partly from a dread of abnormality. He reported his nocturnal restlessness
to the camp doctor, who agreed that the tendency should be discouraged, at
least until the source was known. The doctor commended Pardero for his
industry, and advised the accumulation of at least two hundred and
seventy-five ozols before departure, to allow for incidental expenses.
When Pardero's account reached two hundred and seventy-five ozols, he
claimed his money from the bursar, and now, no longer an indigent, he was
free to pursue his own destiny. He took a rather mournful leave of the
doctor, whom he had come to like and respect, and boarded the transport for
Carfaunge. He left Gaswin with a twinge of regret. He had known little
pleasure here; still the place had given him refuge. He barely remembered
Carfaunge, and the spaceport was no more than the recollection of a dream.
He saw nothing of Superintendent Mergan, but was recognized by Dinster the
night porter, just coming on duty.
The Ectobant of the Prydania Line took Pardero to Baruilla, on Deulle,
Alastor 2121, where he transferred to the Lusimar of the Gaean Trunk Line,
and so was conveyed to Calypso Junction on Imber, and thence by the Wispen
Argent to Numenes.
Pardero enjoyed the voyage: the multifarious sensations, incidents, and
vistas amazed him. He had not imagined the variety of the Cluster: the
comings and goings, the flux of faces, the gowns, robes, hats, ornaments,
and bijouterie; the colors and lights and strains of strange music; the
babble of voices; haunting glimpses of beautiful girls; drama, excitement,
pathos; objects, faces, sounds, surprises. Could he have known all this and
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