Kurt Vonnegut - Jailbird

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KURT VONNEGUT
JAILBIRD
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
PLAYER PIANO
THE SIRENS OF TITAN
MOTHER NIGHT
CAT'S CRADLE
GOD BLESS YOU, MR. ROSEWATER
SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE
WELCOME TO THE MONKEY HOUSE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WANDA JUNE
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS
WAMPETERS, FOMA AND GRANFALLOONS
SLAPSTICK
First published in Great Britain 1979
Copyright (c) 1979 by Kurt Vonnegut
Jonathan Cape Ltd, 30 Bedford Square, London WCI
A limited first edition of this book has been
privately printed in the U.S.A.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
Vonnegut, Kurt
Jailbird.
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I. Title
823' .9' IF PS3572.05J/
ISBN 0 224 01772 I
Printed in Great Britain by
St Edmundsbury Press Ltd, Haverhill, Suffolk
For Benjamin D. Hitz,
Close friend of my youth,
Best man at my wedding.
Ben, you used to tell me about
Wonderful books you had just read,
And then I would imagine that I
Had read them, too.
You read nothing but the best, Ben,
While I studied chemistry.
Long time no see.
PROLOGUE
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Yes - Kilgore Trout is back again. He could not make it on the outside. That is no disgrace. A
lot of good people can't make it on the outside.
******
I received a letter this morning (November 16, 1978) from a young stranger named John Figler, of
Crown Point, Indiana. Crown Point is notorious for a jailbreak there by the bank robber John
Dillinger, during the depths of the Great Depression. Dillinger escaped by threatening his jailor
with a pistol made of soap and shoe polish. His jailor was a woman. God rest his soul, and her
soul, too. Dillinger was the Robin Hood of my early youth. He is buried near my parents - and near
my sister Alice, who admired him even more than I did - in Crown Hill Cemetery in Indianapolis.
Also in there, on the top of Crown Hill, the highest point in the tiny, is James Whitcomb Riley,
"The Hoosier Poet." When my mother was little, she knew Riley well.
Dillinger was summarily executed by agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He was shot
down in a public place, although he was not trying to escape or resist arrest. So there is nothing
recent in my lack of respect for the F.B.I.
John Figler is a law-abiding high-school student. He says in his letter that he has read
almost everything of mine and is now prepared to state the single idea that lies at the core of my
life's work so far. The words are his: "Love may fail, but courtesy will prevail."
This seems true to me - and complete. So I am now in the abashed condition, five days after my
fifty-sixth birthday, of realizing that I needn't have bothered to write several books. A seven-
word telegram would have done the job.
Seriously.
But young Figler's insight reached me too late. I had nearly finished another book - this one.
******
In it is a minor character, "Kenneth Whistler," inspired by an Indianapolis man of my father's
generation. The inspirer's name was Powers Hapgood (1900-1949). He is sometimes mentioned in
histories of American labor for his deeds of derring-do in strikes and at the protests about the
executions of Sacco and Vanzetti, and so on.
I met him only once. I had lunch with him and Father and my Uncle Alex, my father's younger
brother, in Stegemeier's Restaurant in downtown Indianapolis after I came home from the European
part of World War Two. That was in July of 1945. The first atomic bomb had not yet been dropped on
Japan. That would happen in about a month. Imagine that.
I was twenty-two and still in uniform - a private first class who had flunked out of Cornell
University as a student of chemistry before going to war. My prospects did not look good. There
was no family business to go into. My father's architecture firm was defunct. He was broke. I had
just gotten engaged to be married anyway, thinking, "Who but a wife would sleep with me?"
My mother, as I have said ad nauseam in other books, had declined to go on living, since she
could no longer be what she had been at the time of her marriage - one of the richest women in
town.
******
It was Uncle Alex who had arranged the lunch. He and Powers Hapgood had been at Harvard together.
Harvard is all through this book, although I myself never went there. I have since taught there,
briefly and without distinction - while my own home was going to pieces.
I confided that to one of my students - that my home was going to pieces.
To which he made this reply: "It shows."
Uncle Alex was so conservative politically that I do not think he would have eaten lunch with
Hapgood gladly if Hapgood had not been a fellow Harvard man. Hapgood was then a labor union
officer, a vice-president of the local CIO. His wife Mary had been the Socialist Party's candidate
for vice-president of the United States again and again.
In fact, the first time I voted in a national election I voted for Norman Thomas and Mary
Hapgood, not even knowing that she was an Indianapolis person. Franklin D. Roosevelt and Harry S
Truman won. I imagined that I was a socialist. I believed that socialism would be good for the
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common man. As a private first class in the infantry, I was surely a common man.
******
The meeting with Hapgood came about because I had told Uncle Alex that I might try to get a job
with a labor union after the Army let me go. Unions were admirable instruments for extorting
something like economic justice from employers then.
Uncle Alex must have thought something like this: "God help us. Against stupidity even the
gods contend in vain. Well - at least there is a Harvard man with whom he can discuss this
ridiculous dream."
(It was Schiller who first said that about stupidity and the gods. This was Nietzsche's reply:
"Against boredom even the gods contend in vain.")
So Uncle Alex and I sat down at a front table in Stegemeier's and ordered beers and waited for
Father and Hapgood to arrive. They would be coming separately. If they had come together, they
would have had nothing to say to each other on the way. Father by then had lost all interest in
politics and history and economics and such things. He had taken to saying that people talked too
much. Sensations meant more to him than ideas - especially the feel of natural materials at his
fingertips. When he was dying about twenty years later, he would say that he wished he had been a
potter, making mud pies all day long.
To me that was sad - because he was so well-educated. It seemed to me that he was throwing his
knowledge and intelligence away, just as a retreating soldier might throw away his rifle and pack.
Other people found it beautiful. He was a much-beloved man in the city, with wonderfully
talented hands. He was invariably courteous and innocent. To him all craftsmen were saints, no
matter how mean or stupid they might really be.
Uncle Alex, by the way, could do nothing with his hands. Neither could my mother. She could
not even cook a breakfast or sew on a button.
Powers Hapgood could mine coal. That's what he did after he graduated from Harvard, when his
classmates were taking jobs in family businesses and brokerages and banks and so on: He mined
coal. He believed that a true friend of the working people should be a worker himself - and a good
one, too.
So I have to say that my father, when I got to know him, when I myself was something like an
adult, was a good man in full retreat from life. My mother had already surrendered and vanished
from our table of organization. So an air of defeat has always been a companion of mine. So I have
always been enchanted by brave veterans like Powers Hapgood, and some others, who were still eager
for information of what was really going on, who were still full of ideas of how victory might yet
be snatched from the jaws of defeat. "If I am going to go on living," I have thought, "I had
better follow them."
******
I tried to write a story about a reunion between my father and myself in heaven one time. An early
draft of this book in fact began that way. I hoped in the story to become a really good friend of
his. But the story turned out perversely, as stories about real people we have known often do. It
seemed that in heaven people could be any age they liked, just so long as they had experienced
that age on Earth. Thus, John D. Rockefeller, for example, the founder of Standard Oil, could be
any age up to ninety-eight. King Tut could be any age up to nineteen, and so on. As author of the
story, I was dismayed that my father in heaven chose to be only nine years old.
I myself had chosen to be forty-four - respectable, but still quite sexy, too. My dismay with
Father turned to embarrassment and anger. He was lemurlike as a nine-year-old, all eyes and hands.
He had an endless supply of pencils and pads, and was forever tagging after me, drawing pictures
of simply everything and insisting that I admire them when they were done. New acquaintances would
sometimes ask me who that strange little boy was, and I would have to reply truthfully, since it
was impossible to lie in heaven, "It's my father."
Bullies liked to torment him, since he was not like other children. He did not enjoy
children's talk and children's games. Bullies would chase him and catch him and take off his pants
and underpants and throw them down the mouth of hell. The mouth of hell looked like a sort of
wishing well, but without a bucket and windlass. You could lean over its rim and hear ever so
faintly the screams of Hitler and Nero and Salome and Judas and people like that far, far below. I
could imagine Hitler, already experiencing maximum agony, periodically finding his head draped
with my father's underpants.
Whenever Father had his pants stolen, he would come running to me, purple with rage. As like
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as not, I had just made some new friends and was impressing them with my urbanity - and there my
father would be, bawling bloody murder and with his little pecker waving in the breeze.
I complained to my mother about him, but she said she knew nothing about him, or about me,
either, since she was only sixteen. So I was stuck with him, and all I could do was yell at him
from time to time, "For the love of God, Father, won't you please grow up!"
And so on. It insisted on being a very unfriendly story, so I quit writing it.
******
And now, in July of 1945, Father came into Stegemeier's Restaurant, still very much alive. He was
about the age that I am now, a widower with no interest in ever being married again and with no
evident wish for a lover of any kind. He had a mustache like the one I have today. I was clean-
shaven then.
A terrible ordeal was ending - a planetary economic collapse followed by a planetary war.
Fighting men were starting to come home everywhere. You might think that Father would comment on
that, however fleetingly, and on the new era that was being born. He did not.
He told instead, and perfectly charmingly, about an adventure he had had that morning. While
driving into the city, he had seen an old house being torn down. He had stopped and taken a closer
look at its skeleton. He noticed that the sill under the front door was an unusual wood, which he
finally decided was poplar. I gathered that it was about eight inches square and four feet long.
He admired it so much that the wreckers gave it to him. He borrowed a hammer from one of them and
pulled out all the nails he could see.
Then he took it to a sawmill - to have it ripped into boards. He would decide later what to do
with the boards. Mostly, he wanted to see the grain in this unusual wood. He had to promise the
mill that there were no nails left in the timber. This he did. But there was still a nail in
there. It had lost its head, and so was invisible. There was an earsplitting shriek from the
circular saw when it hit the nail. Smoke came from the belt that was trying to spin the stalled
saw.
Now Father had to pay for a new sawblade and a new belt, too, and had been told never to come
there with used lumber again. He was delighted somehow. The story was a sort of fairy tale, with a
moral in it for everyone.
Uncle Alex and I had no very vivid response to the story. Like all of Father's stories, it was
as neatly packaged and self-contained as an egg.
******
So we ordered more beers. Uncle Alex would later become a cofounder of the Indianapolis chapter of
Alcohalics Anonymous, although his wife would say often and pointedly that he himself had never
been an alcoholic. He began to talk now about The Columbia Conserve Company, a cannery that Powers
Hapgood's father, William, also a Harvard man, had founded in Indianapolis in 1903. It was a
famous experiment in industrial democracy, but I had never heard of it before. There was a lot
that I had never heard of before.
The Columbia Conserve Company made tomato soup and chili and catsup, and some other things. It
was massively dependent on tomatoes. The company did not make a profit until 1916. As soon as it
made one, though, Powers Hapgood's father began to give his employees some of the benefits he
thought workers everywhere in the world were naturally entitled to. The other principal
stockholders were his two brothers, also Harvard men - and they agreed with him.
So he set up a council of seven workers, who were to recommend to the board of directors what
the wages and working conditions should be. The board, without any prodding from anybody, had
already declared that there would no longer be any seasonal layoffs, even in such a seasonal
industry, and that there would be vacations with pay, and that medical care for workers and their
dependents would be free, and that there would be sick pay and a retirement plan, and that the
ultimate goal of the company was that, through a stock-bonus plan, it become the property of the
workers.
"It went bust," said Uncle Alex, with a certain grim, Darwinian satisfaction.
My father said nothing. He may not have been listening.
******
I now have at hand a copy of The Hapgoods, Three Earnest Brothers, by Michael D. Marcaccio (The
University Press of Virginia, Charlottesville, 1977). The three brothers in the subtitle were
William, the founder of Columbia Conserve, and Norman and Hutchins, also Harvard men, who were
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both socialistically inclined journalists and editors and book writers in and around New York
According to Mr. Marcaccio, Columbia Conserve was a quite tidy success until 1931, when the Great
Depression hit it murderously. Many workers were let go, and those who were kept on had their pay
cut by 50 percent. A great deal of money was owed to Continental Can, which insisted that the
company behave more conventionally toward its employees - even if they were stockholders, which
most of them were. The experiment was over. There wasn't any money to pay for it anymore. Those
who had received stock through profit sharing now owned bits of a company that was nearly dead.
It did not go completely bust for a while. In fact it still existed when Uncle Alex and Father
and Powers Hapgood and I had lunch. But it was just another cannery, paying not one penny more
than any other cannery paid. What was left of it was finally sold off to a stronger company in
1953.
******
Now Powers Hapgood came into the restaurant, an ordinary-looking Middle Western Anglo-Saxon in a
cheap business suit. He wore a union badge in his lapel. He was cheerful. He knew my father
slightly. He knew Uncle Alex quite well. He apologized for being late. He had been in court that
morning, testifying about violence on a picket line some months before. He personally had had
nothing to do with the violence. His days of derring-do were behind him. Never again would he
fight anybody, or be clubbed to his knees, or be locked up in jail.
He was a talker, with far more wonderful stories than Father or Uncle Alex had ever told. He
was thrown into a lunatic asylum after he led the pickets at the execution of Sacco and Vanzetti.
He was in fights with organizers for John L. Lewis's United Mine Workers, which he considered too
right wing. In 1936 he was a CIO organizer at a strike against RCA in Camden, New Jersey. He was
put in jail. When several thousand strikers surrounded the jail, as a sort of reverse lynch mob,
the sheriff thought it best to turn him loose again. And on and on. I have put my recollections of
some of the stories he told into the mouth of, as I say, a fictitious character in this book.
It turned out that he had been telling stories all morning in court, too. The judge was
fascinated, and almost everybody else in court was, too - presumably by such unselfish high
adventures. The judge had encouraged Hapgood, I gathered, to go on and on. Labor history was
pornography of a sort in those days, and even more so in these days. In public schools and in the
homes of nice people it was and remains pretty much taboo to tell tales of labor's sufferings and
derring-do.
I remember the name of the judge. It was Claycomb. I am able to remember it so easily because
I had been a high-school classmate of the judge's son, "Moon."
Moon Claycomb's father, according to Powers Hapgood, asked him this final question just before
lunch: "Mr. Hapgood," he said, "why would a man from such a distinguished family and with such a
fine education choose to live as you do?"
"Why?" said Hapgood, according to Hapgood. "Because of the Sermon on the Mount, sir."
And Moon Claycomb's father said this: "Court is adjourned until two P.M."
******
What, exactly, was the Sermon on the Mount?
It was the prediction by Jesus Christ that the poor in spirit would receive the Kingdom of
Heaven; that all who mourned would be comforted; that the meek would inherit the Earth; that those
who hungered for righteousness would find it; that the merciful would be treated mercifully; that
the pure in heart would see God; that the peacemakers would be called the sons of God; that those
who were persecuted for righteousness' sake would also receive the Kingdom of Heaven; and on and
on.
******
The character in this book inspired by Powers Hapgood is unmarried and has problems with alcohol.
Powers Hapgood was married and, so far as I know, had no serious problems with alcohol.
******
There is another minor character, whom call "Roy M. Cohn." He is modeled after the famous
anticommunist and lawyer and businessman named, straightforwardly enough, one would have to say,
Roy M. Cohn. I include him with his kind permission, given yesterday (January 2, 1979) over the
telephone. I promised to do him no harm and to present him as an appallingly effective attorney
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for either the prosecution or the defense of anyone.
******
My dear father was silent for a good part of our ride home from that lunch with Powers Hapgood. We
were in his Plymouth sedan. He was driving. Some fifteen years later he would be arrested for
driving through a red light. It would be discovered that he had not had a driver's license for
twenty years - which means that he was not licensed even on the day we had lunch with Powers
Hapgood.
His house was out in the country some. When we got to the edge of the city, he said that if we
were lucky we would see a very funny dog. It was a German shepherd, he said, who could hardly
stand up because he had been hit so often by automobiles. The dog still came tottering out to
chase them, his eyes filled with bravery and rage.
But the dog did not appear that day. He really did exist. I would see him another day, when I
was driving alone. He was crouched down on the shoulder of the road, ready to sink his teeth into
my right front tire. But his charge was a pitiful thing to see. His rear end hardly worked at all
anymore. He might as well have been dragging a steamer trunk with the power in his front feet
alone.
That was the day on which the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima.
******
But back to the day on which I lunched with Powers Hapgood:
When Father put the car into his garage, he finally said something about the lunch. He was
puzzled by the passionate manner in which Hapgood had discussed the Sacco and Vanzetti case,
surely one of the most spectacular, most acrimoniously argued miscarriages of justice in American
history.
"You know," said Father, "I had no idea that there was any question about their guilt."
That is how purely an artist my father was.
******
There is mentioned in this book a violent confrontation between strikers and police and soldiers
called the Cuyahoga Massacre. It is an invention, a mosaic composed of bits taken from tales of
many such riots in not such olden times.
It is a legend in the mind of the leading character in this book, Walter F. Starbuck, whose
life was accidentally shaped by the Massacre, even though it took place on Christmas morning in
eighteen hundred ninety-four, long before Star-buck was born.
It goes like this:
In October of 1894 Daniel McCone, the founder and owner of the Cuyahoga Bridge and Iron
Company, then the largest single employer in Cleveland, Ohio, informed his factory workers through
their foremen that they were to accept a 10 percent cut in pay. There was no union. McCone was a
hard-bitten and brilliant little mechanical engineer, self-educated, born of working-class parents
in Edinburgh, Scotland.
Half his work force, about a thousand men, under the leadership of an ordinary foundry man
with a gift for oratory, Colin Jarvis, walked out, forcing the plant to shut down. They had found
it almost impossible to feed and shelter and clothe their families even without the cut in wages.
All of them were white. Most of them were native-born.
Nature sympathized that day. The sky and Lake Erie were identical in color, the same dead
pewter-gray.
The little homes toward which the strikers trudged were near the factory. Many of them were
owned, and their neighborhood grocery stores, too, by Cuyahoga Bridge and Iron.
******
Among the trudgers, as bitter and dejected as anyone, seemingly, were spies and agents
provocateurs secretly employed and paid very well by the Pinkerton Detective Agency. That agency
still exists and prospers, and is now a wholly-owned subsidiary of The RAMJAC Corporation.
Daniel McCone had two sons, Alexander Hamilton McCone, then twenty-two, and John, twenty-five.
Alexander had graduated without distinction from Harvard in the previous May. He was soft, he was
shy, he was a stammerer. John, the elder son and the company's heir apparent, had flunked out of
the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in his freshman year, and had been his father's most
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trusted aide ever since.
The workers to a man, strikers and nonstrikers alike, hated the father and his son John, but
acknowledged that they knew more about shaping iron and steel than anybody else in the world. As
for young Alexander: They found him girl-like and stupid and too cowardly ever to come near the
furnaces and forges and drop hammers, where the most dangerous work was done. Workers would
sometimes wave their handkerchiefs at him, as a salute to his futility as a man.
When Walter F. Starbuck, in whose mind this legend is, asked Alexander years later why he had
ever gone to work in such an unhospitable place after Harvard, especially since Alexander's father
had not insisted on it, he stammered out a reply, which when unscrambled, was this: "I then
believed that a rich man should have some understanding of the place from which his riches came.
That was very juvenile of me. Great wealth should be accepted unquestioningly, or not at all."
About Alexander's stammers before the Cuyahoga Massacre: They were little more than grace
notes expressing excessive modesty. Never had one left him mute for more than three seconds, with
all his thoughts held prisoner inside.
And he would not have done much talking in the presence of his dynamic father and brother in
any event. But his silence came to conceal a secret that was increasingly pleasant with each
passing day: He was coming to understand the business as well as they did. Before they announced a
decision, he almost always knew what it would be and should be - and why. Nobody else knew it yet,
but he, too, by God, was an industrialist and an engineer.
******
When the strike came in October, he was able to guess many of the things that should be done, even
though he had never been through a strike before. Harvard was a million miles away. Nothing he had
ever learned there would get the factory going again. But the Pinkerton Agency would, and the
police would - and perhaps the National Guard. Before his father and brother said so, Alexander
knew that there were plenty of men in other parts of the country who were desperate enough to take
a job at almost any wage. When his father and brother did say this, he learned something else
about business: There were companies, often pretending to be labor unions, whose sole business was
to recruit such men.
By the end of November the chimneys of the factory were belching smoke again. The strikers had
no money left for rent or food or fuel. Every large employer within three hundred miles had been
sent their names, so he would know what troublemakers they had been. Their nominal leader, Colin
Jarvis, was in jail, awaiting trial on a trumped-up murder charge.
******
On December fifteenth the wife of Colin Jarvis, called Ma, led a delegation of twenty other
strikers' wives to the main gate of the factory, asking to see Daniel McCone. He sent Alexander
down to them with a scribbled note, which Alexander found himself able to read out loud to them
without any speech impediment at all. It said that Daniel McCone was too busy to give time to
strangers who had nothing to do with affairs of the Cuyahoga Bridge and Iron Company anymore. It
suggested that they had mistaken the company for a charitable organization. It said that their
churches or police precinct stations would be able to give them a list of organizations to which
they might more appropriately plead for help - if they really needed help and felt that they
deserved it.
Ma Jarvis told Alexander that her own message was even simpler: The strikers would return to
work on any terms.
Most of them were now being evicted from their homes and had no place to go.
"I am sorry," said Alexander. "I can only read my father's note again, if you would like me
to."
Alexander McCone would say many years later that the confrontation did not bother him a bit at
the time. He was in fact elated, he said, to find himself such a reliable " . . . muh-muh-muh-
machine."
******
A police captain now stepped forward. He warned the women that they were in violation of the law,
assembling in such great numbers as to impede traffic and constitute a threat to public safety. He
ordered them to disperse at once, in the name of the law.
This they did. They retreated across the vast plaza before the main gate. The facade of the
factory had been designed to remind cultivated persons of the Piazza San Marco in Venice, Italy.
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The factory's clocktower was a half-scale replica of San Marco's famous campanile.
It was from the belfry of that tower that Alexander and his father and his brother would watch
the Cuyahoga Massacre on Christmas morning. Each would have his own binoculars. Each would have
his own little revolver, too.
There were no bells in the belfry. Neither were there cafes and shops around the plaza below.
The architect had justified the plaza on strictly utilitarian grounds. It provided any amount of
room for wagons and buggies and horse-drawn streetcars as they came and went. The architect had
also been matter-of-fact about the virtues of the factory as a fort. Any mob meaning to storm the
front gate would first have to cross all that open ground.
A single newspaper reporter, from The Cleveland Plain Dealer, now a RAMJAC publication,
retreated across the plaza with the women. He asked Ma Jarvis what she planned to do next.
There was nothing much that she could do next, of course. The strikers weren't even strikers
anymore, but simply unemployed persons being turned out of their homes.
She gave a brave answer anyway: "We will be back," she said. What else could she say?
He asked her when they would be back.
Her answer was probably no more than the poetry of hopelessness in Christendom, with winter
setting in. "On Christmas morning," she said.
******
This was printed in the paper, whose editors felt that a threatening promise had been made. And
the fame of this coming Christmas in Cleveland spread far and wide. Sympathizers with the strikers
- preachers, writers, union organizers, populist politicians, and on and on - began to filter into
the city as though expecting a miracle of some kind. They were frankly enemies of the economic
order as it was constructed then.
A company of National Guard infantrymen was mobilized by Edwin Kincaid, the governor of Ohio,
to protect the factory. They were farm boys from the southern part of the state, selected because
they had no friends or relatives among the strikers, no reason to see them as anything but
unreasonable disturbers of the peace. They represented an American ideal: healthy, cheerful
citizen soldiers, who went about their ordinary business until their country suddenly needed an
awesome display of weapons and discipline. They were supposed to appear as though from nowhere, to
the consternation of America's enemies. When the trouble was over, they would vanish again.
The regular army of the country, which had fought the Indians until the Indians could fight no
more, was down to about thirty thousand men. As for the Utopian militias throughout the country:
They almost all consisted of farm boys, since the health of the factory workers was so bad and
their hours so long. It was about to be discovered, incidentally, in the Spanish-American War,
that militiamen were worse than useless on battlefields, they were so poorly trained.
******
And that was surely the impression young Alexander Hamilton McCone had of the militiamen who
arrived at the factory on Christmas Eve: that these were not soldiers. They were brought on a
special train to a siding inside the factory's high iron fence. They straggled out of the cars and
onto a loading platform as though they were ordinary passengers on various errands. Their uniforms
were only partly buttoned, and often misbuttoned, at that. Several had lost their hats. Almost all
carried laughably unmilitary suitcases and parcels.
Their officers? Their captain was the postmaster of Greenfield, Ohio. Their two lieutenants
were twin sons of the president of the Greenfield Bank and Trust Company. The postmaster and the
banker had both done local favors for the governor. The commissions were their rewards. And the
officers, in turn, had rewarded those who had pleased them in some way by making them sergeants or
corporals. And the privates, in turn, voters or sons of voters, had it within their power, if they
felt like using it, to ruin the lives of their superiors with contempt and ridicule, which could
go on for generations.
There on the loading platform at the Cuyahoga Bridge and Iron Company old Daniel McCone
finally had to ask one of the many soldiers milling about and eating at the same time, "Who is in
charge here?"
As luck would have it, he had put the question to the captain, who told him this: "Well - as
much as anybody, I guess I am."
To their credit, and although armed with bayonets and live ammunition, the militiamen would
not harm a single soul on the following day.
******
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They were quartered in an idled machine shop. They slept in the aisles. Each one had brought his
own food from home. They had hams and roasted chickens and cakes and pies. They ate whatever they
pleased and whenever they pleased, and turned the machine shop into a picnic ground. They left the
place looking like a village dump. They did not know any better.
Yes, and old Daniel McCone and his two sons spent the night in the factory, too - on camp cots
in their offices at the foot of the bell tower, and with loaded revolvers under their pillows.
When would they have their Christmas dinner? At three o'clock on the following afternoon. The
trouble would surely be over by then. Young Alexander was to make use of his fine education, his
father had told him, by composing and delivering an appropriate prayer of thanksgiving before they
ate that meal.
Regular company guards, augmented by Pinkerton agents and city policemen, meanwhile took turns
patrol ling the company fence all night. The company guards, ordinarily armed only with pistols,
had rifles, and shotguns, too, borrowed from friends or brought from home.
Four Pinkerton men were allowed to sleep all through the night. They were master craftsmen of
a sort. They were sharpshooters.
It was not bugles that awakened the McCones the next morning. It was the sound of hammering
and sawing, which gabbled around the plaza. Carpenters were building a high scaffold by the main
gate, just inside the fence. The chief of police of Cleveland was to stand atop it, in plain view
of everyone. At an opportune moment he was to read the Ohio Riot Act to the crowd. This public
reading was required by law. The act said that any unlawful assembly of twelve persons or more had
to disperse within an hour of having the act read to it. If it did not disperse, its members would
be guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment for from ten years to life.
Nature sympathized again - for a gentle snow began to fall.
******
Yes, and an enclosed carriage drawn by two white horses clattered into the plaza at full speed and
stopped by the gate. Into the dawn's early light stepped Colonel George Redfield, the governor's
son-in-law, who had been commissioned by the governor, and who had come all the way from Sandusky
to take command of the militiamen. He owned a lumber mill and was in the feed and ice businesses
besides. He had no military experience, but was costumed as a cavalryman. He wore a saber, which
was a gift from his father-in-law.
He went at once to the machine shop to address his troops.
Soon after that wagons carrying riot police arrived. They were ordinary Cleveland policemen,
but armed with wooden shields and blunt lances.
An American flag was flown from the top of the bell tower, and another from the pole by the
main gate.
It was to be a pageant, young Alexander supposed. There would be no actual killing or
wounding. All would be said by the way men posed. The strikers themselves had sent word that they
would have their wives and children with them, and that not one of them would have a gun - or even
a knife with a blade more than three inches long.
"We wish only," said their letter, "to take one last look at the factory to which we gave the
best years of our lives, and to show our faces to all who may care to look upon them, to show them
to God Almighty alone, if only He will look, and to ask, as we stand mute and motionless, 'Does
any American deserve misery and heartbreak such as we now know?' "
Alexander was not insensitive to the beauty of the letter. It had, in fact, been written by
the poet Henry Niles Whistler, then in the city to hearten the strikers - a fellow Harvard man. It
deserved a majestic reply, thought Alexander. He believed that the flags and the ranks of citizen
soldiers and the solemn, steady presence of the police would surely do he job.
The law would be read out loud, and all would hear it, and all would go home. Peace should not
be broken, or any cause.
Alexander meant to say in his prayer that afternoon that God should protect the working people
from leaders like Colin Jarvis, who had encouraged them to bring such misery and heartbreak on
themselves.
"Amen," he said to himself.
******
And the people came as promised. They came on foot. In order to discourage them, the city fathers
had canceled all streetcar service in that part of the city that day.
file:///F|/rah/Kurt%20Vonnegut/Jailbird.txt (10 of 96) [8/28/03 1:00:06 PM]
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file:///F|/rah/Kurt%20Vonnegut/Jailbird.txtKURTVONNEGUTJAILBIRDBYTHESAMEAUTHORPLAYERPIANOTHESIRENSOFTITANMOTHERNIGHTCAT'SCRADLEGODBLESSYOU,MR.ROSEWATERSLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVEWELCOMETOTHEMONKEYHOUSEHAPPYBIRTHDAY,WANDAJUNEBREAKFASTOFCHAMPIONSWAMPETERS,FOMAANDGRANFALLOONSSLAPSTICKFirstpublishedinGreatBrita...

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