ing his return—unsure of which way he would jump. They would be half expecting
him to refuse his Outgoing. Why? He had never given them any cause to doubt.
He was Dorsai of the Dorsai, his mother a Kenwick, his father a Graeme, names
so very old their origin was buried in the prehistory of the Mother Planet.
His courage was unquestioned, his word unblemished. He had headed his class.
His very blood and bones were the heritage of a long line of great
professional soldiers. No blot of dishonor had ever marred that roll of
warriors, no home had ever been burnt, its inhabitants scattered and hiding
their family shame under new names, because of some failure on the part of one
of the family's sons. And yet, they doubted.
He came to the fence that marked off the high hurdles from the jump pits, and
leaned on it with both elbows, the tunic of a Senior Cadet pulled tight across
his shoulders. In what way was he odd? he wondered into the wide glow of the
sunset. How was he different?
He put himself apart from him in his mind's eye, and considered himself. A
slim young man of eighteen years—tall, but not tall by Dorsai standards,
strong, but not strong by Dorsai standards. His face was the face of his
father, sharp and angular, straight-nosed; but without his father's
massiveness of bones. His coloring was the dark coloring of the Dorsai, hair
straight and black and a little coarse. Only his eyes— those indeterminate
eyes that were no definite color but went from gray to green to blue with his
shifting moods—were not to be found elsewhere on his fam-
DORSAI! •
ily trees. But surely eyes alone could not account for a reputation of
oddness?
There was, of course, his temper. He had inherited, in full measure, those
cold, sudden, utterly murderous Dorsai rages which had made his people such
that no sane man cared to cross one of them without good reason. But that was
a common trait; and if the Dorsai thought of Donal Graeme as odd, it could not
be for that alone.
Was it, he wondered now, gazing into the sunset, that even in his rages he was
a little too calculating—a little too controlled and remote? And as he thought
that thought, all his strangeness, all his oddness came on him with a rush,
together with that weird sense of disembodiment that had afflicted him, now
and again, ever since his birth.
It came always at moments like mis, riding the shoulders of fatigue and some
great emotion. He remembered it as a very young boy in the Academy chapel at
evening service, half-faint with hunger after the long day of hard military
exercises and harder lesson. The sunset, as now, came slanting in through the
high windows on the bare, highly polished walls and the solidographs of famous
battles inset in them. He stood among the rows of his classmates between the
hard, low benches, the ranked male voices, from the youngest cadet to the deep
man-voices of the officers in the rear, riding the deep, solemn notes of the
Recessional—that which was known as the Dorsai Hymn now, wherever man had
gone, and which a man named Kipling had written the words of, over four
centuries before.
• Gordon R. Dickson