Terry Brooks - Magic Kingdom For Sale Sold
He pushed the elevator call button and the doors opened immediately.
"Have a nice evening, sir," George called after him.
He rode the elevator to his penthouse suite, shucked off his topcoat, and walked
into the front room, still clutching the catalogue. Shadows draped the
furnishings and dappled the carpeting and walls, but he left the lights off and
stood motionless before the bank of windows that looked out over the sunroof and
the buildings of the city beyond. Lights glimmered through the evening gray,
distant and solitary, each a source of life separate and apart from the
thousands of others.
We are so much of the time alone, he thought. Wasn't it strange?
He looked down again at the catalogue. Why do you suppose they had sent it to
Annie? Why were companies always sending mailers and flyers and free samples and
God-knewwhat-all to people long after they were dead and buried? It was an
intrusion on their privacy. It was an affront. Didn't these companies update
their mailing lists? Or was it simply that they refused ever to give up on a
customer?
He checked his anger and, instead, smiled, bitter, ironic. Maybe he should phone
it all in to Andy Rooney. Let him write about it.
He turned on the lights then and walked over to the wall bar to make himself a
scotch, Glenlivet on the rocks with a splash of water; he measured it out and
sipped at it experimentally. There was a bar meeting in a little less than two
hours, and he had promised Miles that he would make this one. Miles Bennett was
not only his partner, but he was probably his only real friend since Annie's
death. All of the others had drifted away somehow, lost in the shufflings and
rearrangings of life's social order. Couples and singles made a poor mix, and
most of their friends had been couples. He hadn't done much to foster continuing
friendships in any case, spending most of his time involved with his work and
with his private, inviolate grief. He was not such good company anymore, and
only Miles had had the patience and the perseverance to stay with him.
He drank some more of the scotch and wandered back again to the open windows.
The lights of the city winked back at him. Being alone wasn't so bad, he
reasoned. That was just the way of things. He frowned. Well, that was his way,
in any case. It was his choice to be, alone. He could have found companionship
again from any one of a number of sources; he could have reintegrated himself
into almost any of the city's myriad social circles. He had the necessary
attributes. He was young still and successful; he was even wealthy, if money
counted for anything-and in this world it almost always did. No, he didn't have
to be alone.
And yet he did, because the problem was that he really didn't belong anyway.
He thought about that for a moment-forced himself to think about it. It wasn't
simply his choosing to be alone that kept him that way; it was almost a
condition of his existence. The feeling that he was an outsider had always been
there. Becoming a lawyer had helped him deal with that feeling, giving him a
place in life, giving him a ground upon which he might firmly stand. But the
sense of not belonging had persisted, however diminished its intensity-a nagging
certainty. Losing Annie had simply given it new life, emphasizing the transiency
of any ties that bound him to whom and what he had let himself become. He often
wondered if others felt as he did. He supposed they must; he supposed that to
some extent everyone felt something of the same displacement. But not as
strongly as he, he suspected. Never that strongly.
He knew Miles understood something of it-or at least something of Ben's sense of
it. Miles didn't feel about it as Ben did, of course. Miles was the
quintessential people person, always at home with others, always comfortable
with his surroundings. He wanted Ben to be that way; he wanted to bring him out
of that self-imposed shell and back into the mainstream of life. He viewed his
friend as some sort of challenge in that regard. That was why Miles was so
persistent about these damn bar meetings. That was why he kept after Ben to
forget about Annie and get on with his life.
Side 2