
one day when I was alone with Mother. She was always occupied; her hands were never idle longer than
it took for her to snatch up a new hank of wool or the next bundle of tally sticks. That day, when she
read my slate, she actually dropped her knitting in her lap and sat rigidly still. I vow her face paled
beneath its ruddy sun-warmed hue.
In a manner quite unlike her usually brisk speech, she said slowly, “I once had peculiar dreams for a time
. . . before you were born. After your birth, they stopped. I had not thought of them for years.” She
shook her head, and resumed her knitting. “Such things are mere night vapors, banished by the light of
day. Put them from your mind.”
It wasn’t long after that incident that Mother first mentioned my betrothal gift. I had found for her a
missing bracelet, one of a pair she prized, for she loved fine jewelry. In her pleasure at the recovery, she
told me that there was one very special piece—a gift—put away for my betrothal.
Excited, I wrote on my slate, “Whose gift? See it now?” but she only paused at the door on her way out.
“No,” she said firmly, “you may not see it until you are promised to be wed. It is an old and valuable gift
from a . . . secret source that I cannot name.” I was disappointed at the time, but in the subsequent press
of work, I gradually forgot about the gift until the accident in the mountains reft Mother from me.
You were assisting Uncle Herwik then at our base in Ulmsport, while I was in Vennesport, a week’s
travel to the south. Mother had argued for a second trading base there, and had only just shifted her chief
residence to the port—if she could be persuaded to halt in any one place long enough to be said to reside
there. I was almost twenty when she died. You and Uncle Herwik’s party had been delayed by storms,
so I employed the time of waiting by sorting through Mother’s possessions, setting aside those items she
would have wanted to be given to various relatives and friends.
In the course of my sorting, I chanced upon a parcel tightly wrapped in dark blue leather. The instant I
touched it, Iknew that my betrothal gift lay within. It had never been listed among the family treasures,
and no other person in the family had ever mentioned it. I assumed that Mother must have acquired it in
her trading, instead of inheriting it.
Curious to view Mother’s secret gift, I pried loose the lacings and uncovered a pendant jewel set in
silver. The stone was an unusual blue-gray color, the size of a hen’s small egg, cunningly polished to
sparkle and flash as the light fell upon it. When I reached to pluck it out of its soft leather nest, my fingers
were jolted as if I had plunged them into snow melt. Had I possessed a voice, I am sure I would have
cried out. As it was, I snatched back my hand without picking up the stone. After a breathless moment, I
folded the leather around the necklace and retied the lacings.
On previous occasions, I had welcomed opportunities to handle fine brooches or belt buckles because I
could somehow sense, often in later dreams, images associated with the objects’ former owners. On this
day, however, I wanted no more contact with Mother’s pendant. I remember thinking that if I should
hold the jewel in my hand, I would be unbearably reminded of our separation. I did not want to be any
more forcefully linked to nightly visions of her than I already was in unguarded waking moments. In haste,
I packed the leather roll away with other precious items to be stored in our protected treasure room, and
fled outside as if pursued by demons.
I never had the opportunity to show you that jewel. You were busily traveling between Ulmsport and
Vennesport, and I was frequently away from our main Vennesport storehouse. It never occurred to me
to retrieve that particular locked casket until nearly twenty years later when you raised the subject of
marriage. You were so deferential, so shy about asserting yourself, that I wonder you managed to utter
the word “wedding.” Had we been left in peace, I would surely and gladly have shown you the pendant.