Roger Zelazny - The Dream Master

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THE DREAM MASTER

Ziff-Davis Publish-ing Company.

To Judy,

of the hurst of oaks

with a wolf issuant therefrom

to the sinister all proper.

Tidus et audax."

Printed in U.S.A.

Lovelyas it was, with the blood and all, Ren-der could sense that it was about to end.

Therefore, each microsecond would be better off as a minute, he decided—and perhaps the

temperature should be increased. . . . Somewhere, just at the periphery of every-thing, the darkness

halted its constriction.

Something, like a crescendo of subliminal thunders, was arrested at one raging note. That note was a

distillate of shame and pain, and fear.

The Forum was stifling.

Caesar cowered outside the frantic circle. His forearm covered his eyes but it could not stop the seeing,

not this time.

The senators had no faces and their garments were spat-tered with blood. All their voices were like the

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cries of birds. With an inhuman frenzy they plunged their daggers into the fallen figure.

All, that is, but Render.

The pool of blood in which he stood continued to widen. His arm seemed to be rising and falling with a

mechanical regularity and his throat might have been shaping bird-cries, but he was simultaneously apart

from and part of the scene.

For he was Render, the Shaper.

Crouched, anguished and envious, Caesar wailed his pro-tests.

"You have slain him! You have murdered Marcus Antonius —a blameless, useless fellow!"

Render turned to him, and the dagger in his hand was quite enormous and quite gory.

"Aye," said he.

The blade moved from side to side. Caesar, fascinated by the sharpened steel, swayed to the same

rhythm.

"Why?" he cried. "Why?"

"Because," answered Render, "he was a far nobler Ro-man than yourself."

"You lie! It is not so!"

Render shrugged and returned to the stabbing.

"It is not true!" screamed Caesar. "Not true!"

Render turned to him again and waved the dagger. Pup-petlike, Caesar mimicked the pendulum of the

blade.

"Not true?" Render smiled. "And who are you to question an assassination such as this? You are no one!

You detract from the dignity of this occasion! Begone!"

Jerkily, the pink-faced man rose to his feet, his hair half-wispy, half-wetplastered, a disarray of cotton.

He turned, moved away; and as he walked, he looked back over his shoulder.

He had moved far from the circle of assassins, but the scene did not diminish in size. It retained an

electric clarity. It made him feel even further removed, ever more alone and apart.

Render rounded a previously unnoticed corner and stood before him, a blind beggar.

Caesar grasped the front of his garment.

"Have you an ill omen for me this day?"

"Beware!" jeered Render.

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"Yes! Yes!" cried Caesar. " 'Beware!' That is good! Be-ware what?"

'The ides-"

"Yes? The ides-?"

"—of Octember."

He released the garment.

"What is that you say? What is Octember?"

"A month."

"You lie! There is no month of Octember!"

"And that is the date noble Caesar need fear—the non-existent time, the never-to-be-calendared

occasion."

Render vanished around another sudden corner.

"Wait! Come back!"

Render laughed, and the Forum laughed with him. The bird-cries became a chorus of inhuman jeers.

"You mock me!" wept Caesar.

The Forum was an oven, and the perspiration formed like a glassy mask over Caesar's narrow forehead,

sharp nose, chin-less jaw.

"I want to be assassinated too!" he sobbed. "It isn't fair!"

And Render tore the Forum and the senators and the grinning corpse of Antony to pieces and stuffed

them into a black sack—with the unseen movement of a single finger— and last of all went Caesar.

Charles Render sat before the ninety white buttons and the two red ones, not really looking at any of

them. His right arm moved in its soundless sling, across the lap-level surface of the console—pushing

some of the buttons, skip-ping over others, moving on, retracing its path to press the next in the order of

the Recall Series.

Sensations throttled, emotions reduced to nothing, Repre-sentative Erikson knew the oblivion of the

womb.

There was a soft click.

Render's hand had glided to the end of the bottom row

of buttons. An act of conscious intent—will, if you like— was required to push the red button.

Render freed his arm and lifted off his crown of Medusa-hair leads and microminiature circuitry. He slid

from behind his desk-couch and raised the hood. He walked to the window and transpared it, fingering

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forth a cigarette.

One minute in the ro-womb,he decided.No more. This is acrucial one . . . Hope it doesn't snow till

later—these clouds look mean . ..

It was smooth yellow trellises and high towers, glassy and gray, all smoldering into evening under a

shale-colored sky; the city was squared volcanic islands, glowing in the end-of-day light, rumbling deep

down under the earth; it was fat, incessant rivers of traffic, rushing.

Render turned away from the window and approached the great egg that lay beside his desk, smooth

and glittering. It threw back a reflection that smashed all aquilinity from his nose, turned his eyes to gray

saucers, transformed his hair into a light-streaked skyline; his reddish necktie be-came the wide tongue of

a ghoul.

He smiled, reached across the desk. He pressed the sec-ond red button.

With a sigh, the egg lost its dazzling opacity and a hori-zontal crack appeared about its middle. Through

the now-transparent shell, Render could see Erikson grimacing, squeezing his eyes tight, fighting against a

return to con-sciousness and the thing it would contain. The upper half of the egg rose vertical to the

base, exposing him knobby and pink on half-shell. When his eyes opened he did not look at Render. He

rose to his feet and began dressing. Render used this time to check the ro-womb.

He leaned back across his desk and pressed the buttons: temperature control, full range,check; exotic

sounds—he raised the earphone—check,on bells, on buzzes, on violin notes and whistles, on squeals

and moans, on traffic noises and the sound of surf;check, on the feedback circuit—hold-ing the patient's

own voice, trapped earlier in analysis;check, on the sound blanket, the moisture spray, the odor banks;

check,on the couch agitator and the colored lights, the taste stimulants. . . .

Render closed the egg and shut off its power. He pushed the unit into the closet, palmed shut the door.

The tapes had registered a valid sequence. "Sit down," he directed Erikson. The man did so, fidgeting

with his collar. "You have full recall," said Render, "so there is no need for me to summarize what

occurred. Nothing can be hidden from me. I was there." Erikson nodded.

"The significance of the episode should be apparent to you."

Erikson nodded again, finally finding his voice. "But was it valid?" he asked. "I mean, you constructed the

dream and you controlled it, all the way. I didn't reallydream it— in the way I would normally dream.

Your ability to make things happen stacks the deck for whatever you're going to say—doesn't it?"

Render shook his head slowly, flicked an ash into the southern hemisphere of his globe-made-ashtray,

and met Erikson's eyes.

"It is true that I supplied the format and modified the forms. You, however, filled them with an emotional

signifi-cance, promoted them to the status of symbols correspond-ing to your problem. If the dream was

not a valid analogue it would not have provoked the reactions it did. It would have been devoid of the

anxiety-patterns which were reg-istered on the tapes.

"You have been in analysis for many months now," he continued, "and everything I have learned thus far

serves to convince me that your fears of assassination are without any basis in fact." Erikson glared.

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"Then why the hell do I have them?"

"Because," said Render, "you would like very much to be the subject of an assassination."

Erikson smiled then, bis composure beginning to return.

"I assure you, doctor, I have never contemplated suicide, nor have I any desire to stop living."

He produced a cigar and applied a flame to it. His hand shook.

"When you came to me this summer," said Render, "you stated that you were in fear of an attempt on

your life. You were quite vague as to why anyone should want to kill you-"

"My position! You can't be a Representative as long as I have and make no enemies!"

"Yet," replied Render, "it appears that you have managed it. When you permitted me to discuss this with

your detec-tives I was informed that they could unearth nothing to indicate that your fears might have any

real foundation. Nothing."

"They haven't looked far enough—or in the right places. They'll turn up something."

"I'm afraid not."

"Why?"

"Because, I repeat, your feelings are without any objec-tive basis. Be honest with me. Have you any

information whatsoever indicating that someone hates you enough to want to kill you?"

"I receive many threatening letters . . ."

"As do all Representatives—and all of those directed to you during the past year have been investigated

and found to be the work of cranks. Can you offer meone piece of evidence to substantiate your

claims?"

Erikson studied the tip of his cigar.

"I came to you on the advice of a colleague," he said, "came to you to have you poke around inside my

mind to find me something of that sort, to give my detectives something to work with. Someone I've

injured severely perhaps—or some damaging piece of legislation I've dealt with . . ."

"—And I found nothing," said Render, "nothing, that is, but the cause of your discontent. Now, of

course, you are afraid to hear it, and you are attempting to divert me from explaining my diagnosis—"

"I am not!"

"Then listen. You can comment afterwards if you want, but you've poked and dawdled around here for

months, un-willing to accept what I presented to you in a dozen different forms. Now I am going to tell

you outright what it is, and you can do what you want about it."

"Fine,"

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"First," he said, "you wouldlike very much to have an enemy or enemies—"

"Ridiculous!"

"—Because it is the only alternative to having friends—"

"I have lots of friends!"

"—Because nobody wants to be completely ignored, to be an object for whom no one has really strong

feelings. Hatred and love are the ultimate forms of human regard. Lacking one, and unable to achieve it,

you sought the other. You wanted it so badly that you succeeded in convincing your-self it existed. But

there is always a psychic pricetag on these things. Answering a genuine emotional need with a body of

desire-surrogates does not produce real satisfaction, but anxiety, discomfort—because in these matters

the psyche should be an open system. You did not seek outside your-self for human regard. You were

closed off. You created that which you needed from the stuff of your own being. You are a man very

much in need of strong relationships with other people."

"Manure!"

"Take it or leave it," said Render. "I suggest you take it."

"I've been paying you for half a year to help find out who wants to kill me. Now you sit there and tell me

I made the whole thing up to satisfy a desire to have someone hate me."

"Hate you, or love you. That's right."

"It's absurd! I meet so many people that I carry a pocket recorder and a lapel-camera, just so I can

recall them all ..."

"Meeting quantities of people is hardly what I was speak-ing of. Tell me,did that dream sequence have a

strong mean-ing for you?"

Erikson was silent for several tickings of the huge wall-clock.

"Yes," he finally conceded, "it did. But your interpretation of the matter is still absurd. Granting though,

just for the sake of argument, that what you say is correct—what would I do to get out of this bind?"

Render leaned back in his chair.

"Rechannel the energies that went into producing the thing. Meet some people as yourself, Joe Erikson,

rather than Representative Erikson. Take up something you can do with other people—something

non-political, and perhaps some-what competitive—and make some real friends or enemies, preferably

the former. I've encouraged you to do this all along."

"Then tell me something else."

"Gladly."

"Assuming youare right, why is it that I am neither liked nor hated, and never have been? I have a

responsible posi-tion in the Legislature. I meet people all the time. Why am I so neutral a—thing?"

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Highly familiar now with Erikson's career, Render had to push aside his true thoughts on the matter, as

they were of no operational value. He wanted to cite him Dante's observations concerning the

trimmers—those souls who, denied heaven for their lack of virtue, were also denied entrance to hell for a

lack of significant vices—in short, the ones who trimmed their sails to move them with every wind of the

times, who lacked direction, who were not really concerned toward which ports they were pushed. Such

was Erikson's long and colorless career of migrant loyalties, of political re-versals.

Render said: "More and more people find themselves in such circumstances these days. It is due largely

to the in-creasing complexity of society and the depersonalization of the individual into a sociometric unit.

Even the act of cathecting toward other persons has grown more forced as a result. There are so many of

us these days."

Erikson nodded, and Render smiled inwardly.

Sometimes the gruf line, and then the lecture ...

"I've got the feeling you could be right," said Erikson. "Sometimes Ido feel like what you just

described—a unit, something depersonalized .. ."

Render glanced at the clock.

"What you choose to do about it from here is, of course, your own decision to make. I think you'd be

wasting your time to remain in analysis any longer. We are now both aware of the cause of your

complaint. I can't take you by the hand and show you how to lead your life. I can indicate, I can

com-miserate—but no more deep probing. Make an appointment as soon as you feel a need to discuss

your activities and relate them to my diagnosis."

"I will"—Erikson nodded—"and damn that dream! It got to me. You can make them seem as vivid as

waking life —more vivid ... It may be a long while before I can for-get it."

"I hope so."

"Okay, doctor." He rose to his feet, extended a hand. "I'll probably be back in a couple weeks. I'll give

this socializing a fair try." He grinned at the word he normally frowned upon. "In fact, I'll start now. May I

buy you a drink around the corner, downstairs?"

Render met the moist palm which seemed as weary of the performance as a lead actor in too successful

a play. He felt almost sorry as he said, "Thank you, but I have an engagement."

Render helped him on with his coat then, handed him his hat, saw him to the door.

"Well, good night."

"Good night."

As the door closed soundlessly behind him, Render re-crossed the dark Astrakhan to his mahogany

fortress and flipped his cigarette into the southern hemisphere. He leaned back in his chair, hands behind

his head, eyes closed.

"Of course it was more real than life," he informed no one in particular; "I shaped it."

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Smiling, he reviewed the dream sequence step by step, wishing some of his former instructors could

have witnessed It. It had been well-constructed and powerfully executed, as well as being precisely

appropriate for the case at hand. But then, he was Render, the Shaper—one of the two hun-dred or so

special analysts whose own psychic makeup permitted them to enter into neurotic patterns without

car-rying away more than an esthetic gratification from the mi-mesis of aberrance—a Sane Hatter.

Render stirred his recollections. He had been analyzed himself, analyzed and passed upon as a

granite-willed, ultra-stable outsider—tough to weather the basilisk gaze of a fix-ation, walk unscathed

amidst the chimarae of perversions, force dark Mother Medusa to close her eyes before the caduceus of

his art. His own analysis had not been dif-ficult. Nine years before (it seemed much longer) he had

suffered a willing injection of novacain into the most painful area of his spirit. It was after the auto wreck,

after the death of Ruth and of Miranda, their daughter, that he had begun to feel detached. Perhaps he

did not want to recover certain empathies; perhaps his own world was now based upon a certain rigidity

of feeling. If this was true, he was wise enough in the ways of the mind to realize it, and perhaps he had

decided that such a world had its own compensations.

His son Peter was now ten years old. He was attending a school of quality, and he penned his father a

letter every week. The letters were becoming progressively literate, show-ing signs of a precociousness

of which Render could not but approve. He would take the boy with him to Europe in the summer.

As for Jill—Jill DeVille (what a luscious, ridiculous name! —he loved her for it)—she was growing, if

anything, more interesting to him. (He wondered if this was an indication of early middle age.) He was

vastly taken by her unmusical nasal voice, her sudden interest in architecture, her concern with the

unremovable mole on the right side of her other-wise well-designed nose. He should really call her imme-

diately and go in search of a new restaurant. For some reason though, he did not feellike it.

It had been several weeks since he had visited his club,The Partridge and Scalpel, and he felt a strong

desire to eat from an oaken table, alone, in the split-level dining room with the three fireplaces, beneath

the artificial torches and the boars' heads like gin ads. So he pushed his perforated membership card into

the phone-slot on bis desk and there were two buzzes behind the voice-screen.

"Hello,Partridge and Scalpel" said the voice. "May I help you?"

"Charles Render," he said. "I'd like a table in about half an hour."

"How many will there be?"

"Just me."

"Very good, sir. Half an hour, then. That's 'Render'?-R-e-n-d-e-r?"

"Right."

"Thank you."

He broke the connection, rose from his desk. Outside, the day had vanished.

The monoliths and the towers gave forth their own light now. A soft snow, like sugar, was sifting down

through the shadows and transforming itself into beads on the window-pane.

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Render shrugged into his overcoat, turned off the lights, locked the inner office. There was a note on

Mrs. Hedge's blotter.

MissDeVille called, it said.

He crumpled the note and tossed it into the waste-chute. He would call her tomorrow and say he had

been working until late on his lecture.

He switched off the final light, clapped his hat onto his head and passed through the outer door, locking

it as he went. The drop took him to the sub-subcellar where his auto was parked.

It was chilly in the sub-sub, and his footsteps seemed loud

on the concrete as he passed among the parked vehicles. Beneath the glare of the naked lights, his S-7

Spinner was a sleek gray cocoon from which it seemed turbulent wings might at any moment emerge.

The double row of anten-nae which fanned forward from the slope of its hood added to this feeling.

Render thumbed open the door.

He touched the ignition and there was the sound of a lone bee awakening in a great hive. The door

swung soundlessly shut as he raised the steering wheel and locked it into place. He spun up the spiral

ramp and came to a rolling stop before the big overhead.

As the door rattled upward he lighted his destination screen and turned the knob that shifted the

broadcast map. Left to right, top to bottom, section by section he shifted it, until he located the portion of

Carnegie Avenue he desired. He punched out its coordinates and lowered the wheel. The car switched

over to monitor and moved out onto the highway marginal. Render lit a cigarette.

Pushing his seat back into the centerspace, he left all the windows transparent. It was pleasant to

half-recline and watch the oncoming cars drift past him like swarms of fireflies. He pushed his hat back

on his head and stared up-ward.

He could remember a time when he had loved snow, when it had reminded him of novels by Thomas

Mann and music by Scandinavian composers. In his mind now, though, there was another element from

which it could never be wholly dissociated. He could visualize so clearly the eddies of milk-white

coldness that swirled about his old manual-steer auto, flowing into its fire-charred interior to rewhiten that

which had been blackened; so clearly—as though he had walked toward it across a chalky

lakebottom—it, the sunken wreck, and he, the diver—unable to open his mouth to speak, for fear of

drowning; and he knew, whenever he looked upon falling snow, that somewhere skulls were whitening.

But nine years had washed away much of the pain, and he also knew that the night was lovely.

He was sped along the wide, wide roads, shot across

high bridges, their surfaces slick and gleaming beneath his lights, was woven through frantic clover leafs

and plunged into a tunnel whose dimly glowing walls blurred by him like a mirage. Finally, he switched the

windows to opaque and closed his eyes.

He could not remember whether he had dozed for a moment or not, which meant he probably had. He

felt the car slowing, and he moved the seat forward and turned on the windows again. Almost

simultaneously, the cut-off buzzer sounded. He raised the steering wheel and pulled into the parking

dome, stepped out onto the ramp and left the car to the parking unit, receiving his ticket from that

box-headed robot which took its solemn revenge on mankind by sticking forth a cardboard tongue at

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everyone it served.

As always, the noises were as subdued as the lighting. The place seemed to absorb sound and convert it

into warmth, to lull the tongue with aromas strong enough to be tasted, to hypnotize the ear with the vivid

crackle of the triple hearths.

Render was pleased to see that his favorite table, in the corner off to the right of the smaller fireplace,

had been held for him. He knew the menu from memory, but he studied it with zeal as he sipped a

Manhattan and worked up an order to match his appetite. Shaping sessions always left him ravenously

hungry.

"Dr. Render . . . ?"

"Yes?" He looked up.

"Dr. Shallot would like to speak with you," said the waiter.

"I don't know anyone named Shallot," he said. "Are you sure he doesn't want Bender? He's a surgeon

from Metro who sometimes eats here . .."

The waiter shook his head.

"No sir—'Render.' See here?" He extended a three-by-five card on which Render's full name was typed

in capital letters. "Dr. Shallot has dined here nearly every night for the past two weeks," he explained,

"and on each occasion has asked to be notified if you came in."

"Hm?" mused Render. "That's odd. Why didn't he just call me at my office?"'

The waiter smiled and made a vague gesture.

"Well, tell him to come on over," he said, gulping his Manhattan, "and bring me another of these."

"Unfortunately, Dr. Shallot is blind," explained the waiter. "It would be easier if you—"

"All right, sure." Render stood up, relinquishing his favorite table with a strong premonition that he would

not be return-ing to it that evening.

"Lead on."

They threaded their way among the diners, heading up to the next level. A familiar face said "hello" from

a table set back against the wall, and Render nodded a greeting to a former seminar pupil whose name

was Jurgens or Jirkans or something like that.

He moved on, into the smaller dining room wherein only two tables were occupied. No, three. There

was one set in the corner at the far end of the darkened bar, partly masked by an ancient suit of armor.

The waiter was heading him in that direction.

They stopped before the table and Render stared down into the darkened glasses that had tilted upward

as they approached. Dr. Shallot was a woman, somewhere in the vicinity of her early thirties. Her low

bronze bangs did not fully conceal the spot of silver which she wore on her fore-head like a caste-mark.

Render inhaled, and her head jerked slightly as the tip of his cigarette flared. She appeared to be staring

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THEDREAMMASTERCopyright©,1966,byRogerZelaznyShortermagazineversionserializedinAmazingStoriesasHeWhoShapes,copyright©,1964,byZiff-DavisPublishingCompany.AllRightsReserved ToJudy,ofthehurstofoakswithawolfissuanttherefromtothesinisterallproper.Tidusetaudax."PrintedinU.S.A.ILovelyasitwas,withthebloodan...

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Roger Zelazny - The Dream Master

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