James Alan Gardner - League of Peoples 03

James Alan Gardner

Vigilant

To Peter Fraser, who gave me a job, a computer, time to do what I wanted,

and a lot of paper sneaked out the back door.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I acknowledge the people who helped me write/revise/polish this tome: Linda Carson, Richard Curtis,

and Jennifer Brehl. Where would I be without them?

I acknowledge that John Brunner wroteThe Stone That Never Came Down some twenty-five years

ago and that I lifted a crucial aspect of the Vigil from it. (Wouldn't it be spiffy if all the people who

borrowed from Brunner actually admitted it? And wouldn't it be spiffy if you, dear reader, went out and

bought Brunner's books to see what I'm talking about?)

Finally, I acknowledge that there was originally going to be a lot about politics in this book... but every

time I tried to sneak some in, it stuck out like a sore thumb. Our friend Faye is so new at her job, no one

would let her close to real political action. Besides, she joined the Vigil for personal reasons, not through

any great urge to get involved in the democratic process. Oh well... maybe next book, the characters will

get out of the way and let me pontificate.

THE STRUCTURE OF THE TECHNOCRACY

In a.d. 2454, the Technocracy consists of the following:

(a) Sixty-three planets with full membership (called the Core or mainstream worlds);

(b) Ninety-two planets with "affiliate" status (usually called the Fringe Worlds);

(c) Several hundred colony worlds founded by people who espouse some degree of loyalty to the

Technocracy. Colonies range from small scientific outposts of a half-dozen researchers, to settlements of

a few hundred thousand inhabitants.

The mainstream worlds share a single integrated administration. Fringe Worlds, on the other hand, all

have independent governments, subject to various obligations as Technocracy affiliates (such as providing

port facilities for the navy).

There is only one law that applies to all worlds: the single directive of the League of Peoples,

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unflinchingly enforced by races so far advanced beyond human intelligence that the directive might as well

be a fundamental law of the universe: NO DANGEROUS NON-SENTIENT CREATURE WILL

EVER BE ALLOWED TO MOVE FROM ITS HOME STAR SYSTEM TO ANOTHER SYSTEM.

"Dangerous non-sentient" means any creature ready to kill a sentient creature, or to let sentients die

through willful negligence. The law makes interstellar war an impossibility; the only conceivable wars are

civil ones, restricted to a single planet. Starships cannot carry lethal weapons—no laser-cannons on the

hull, no guns for personnel—because those are automatic statements of non-sentient disposition.

(Weapons for self-defense? Whom would you be defending against? The only beings allowed into

interstellar space are sentients. By definition, they aren't going to try to kill you.)

Intention counts: even if you are completely unarmed, if you travel through space with the objective of

killing someone when you reach your destination, you are inherently a dangerous non-sentient creature.

Therefore, you don'treach your destination—you simply die en route. No one knows how the League

can tell that you have murder in your heart—whether they read minds or see the future or have simply

achieved omniscience. (The League's senior races have had a billion-year evolutionary headstart on

Homo sapiens; to describe them as godlike is belittling.)

The inescapable truth is that no human has ever beaten the League; not in the twenty-fifth century, nor in

all the years of recorded history. Dangerous non-sentient creatures—murderers—have to consider

themselves grounded the moment they cease to respect sentient life... the moment they become

non-sentient.

Sometimes people wonder if non-sentient beings can ever become sentient again. By rehabilitation. By

repentance. By redemption. And if a killer has a true change of heart, will the League accept it? Or are

you simply condemned forever by the person you once were?

Always an interesting question...

THE SLACK DEATH

I want to tell you everything, everything all at once.

I don't want to be plod-patient, setting it down in sequence: first the plague, then the cave-in, then the

years of Other Business, when everything seemed like a burden to get out of the way before real life

could start. Everyone knows thisis real life, it's all real life, sixty seconds of real life every minute, no one

gets less.

But you cantake less. All the time you're swimming in the ocean of real life, it's so precious easy to keep

your eyes closed and just tread water. Even so, if you're lucky, you might be caught in a current, a

current that's carrying you toward something...

No, too simplistic. We'reall caught in currents, dozens of the buggers dragging us in different directions

sixty seconds every minute, and it's never as obvious as people want you to believe. You live through a

day, and at the end you grumble, "I didn'tdo anything"... but second by second youdid do things, you

occupied every second, just as you occupy every second of every day.

Here's the thing, the crucial thing: your life is full. And if you don't realize that... then you're just like the

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rest of us, but that's no excuse.

I want to tell you everything, everything at once. I want to explode and leave you splattered bloody with

all the things I have to say—kaboom, and you're covered with me, coated, dripping, deafened by the

blast. A flash of instant knowledge: knowledge, not information. Burning hot. Blinding bright. Blasting

down the ingrained walls of carrion-comfort cynicism.

How can I do that? How? The peacock can show its whole tail at once; but I can only tell you a story.

The story starts with death. If you weren't there, on the fair green planet Demoth in the year 2427, you

can't imagine what the plague was like, and I can't convey the enormity of it. No one stayed sane—no

one. All of us who lived through those days came out the other side mumbling under our breaths,

quivering with twitches, tics, and phobias. Real bitch-slapping nightmares of bodies in the streets.

The bodies weren't human. That was the ugliest part of Pteromic Paralysis, the slack death—usHomo

saps were immune. Death counts rose by the day, and we were lily-pure untouched.

It only killed our neighbors.

Our neighbors were Ooloms, a genetically engineered branch of the Divian race: basically humanoid, but

with scaly skins that changed color like wide-spectrum chameleons... from red to green to blue, and

everything in between. Ooloms also came equipped with glider membranes on the general model of flying

squirrels—triangular sails attached at wrists and armpits, then running down their bodies and tapering to a

point at their ankles. Their bones were hollow, their tissues light, their internal organs spongy with air

vacuoles rather than solidly dense. Given Demoth's forgiving gravity (.78 Earth G), Ooloms had no

trouble flapping-gliding-soaring through city or countryside.

I was a countryside girl myself back then: fifteen years old, living in a fiddly-dick mining town called

Sallysweet River, population 1600... one of only four human settlements in the vast interior of Great St.

Caspian Island. Around us, tundra and trees, stone and forest, stretched proud unbroken—wilderness all

the way from my doorstep across a hundred kilometers to the cold ocean coast.

Not that it made me feel small. I was as full of myself as any girl I knew: me, the beautiful, blond, smart,

occasionally even sexy Faye Smallwood.

So much for the "before" picture—before the plague. After? I'll get to that.

It was late summer in Sallysweet River when we first heard tell of the disease. My father, Dr. Henry

Smallwood, was the town M.D., always reading the medical newsfeeds to me and giving his on-the-spot

opinion. A session with Dads might go like this: "Well then, Faye-girl, here's some offworld laze-about

who's come to Demoth for a study of our poisonous animals—lizards and eels and what-all. Can you

imagine? He wants to protect us all from snakebite or some fool thing... as if there's a single creature on

the planet thatwants to bite us. Complete waste of time!"

(Which was and wasn't true. Neither Ooloms nor humans were native to Demoth—Homo sapshad only

been around twenty-five years, and Ooloms about nine hundred—so to the local animal population, we

smelled disgustingly alien. Nothing in the woods would ever try to nibble us for food... but they'd be fast

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enough to give us the chomp if we stepped on their tails or threatened their young. I'd never say that to

Dads, though; before the plague sent us all stress-crazy, I was his own little girl, and so swoony fond, I

never questioned him. When I felt like a fight, I picked one with my mother.)

So. One trickly hot evening, Dads looked up from the newsfeed, and said, "Listen to this, my

Faye—they're reporting a rash of complaints from Ooloms all over the world. Teeny numbnesses: a

single finger going limp, or an eyelid, or one side of the tongue.Investigators are expressing concern."

Dads snorted. "Sure to be psychosomatic," he told me. "A grand lot of Ooloms have worked themselves

into a tizzy about some idle nothing, and now they're having demure little hysterical breakdowns."

I nodded, trusting that Dads knew what he was talking about.

But.

It got worse. More victims. In every last town on the planet. Symptoms slowly spreading. A patient who

couldn't move her thumb today might lose all feeling in her little toe tomorrow: one muscle after another

shutting down, turning to strengthless putty. It usually started at the extremities and worked gradually in,

but there was one man who didn't show a single symptom till all the muscles of his heart, slump, went

slack. The night they reported his case on the news, the exodus began.

Ooloms and all other Divian subspecies have an instinct to isolate themselves when they're sick. "Oooo,"

as my father put it angrily, "we're feeling plumb poorly, better separate ourselves from the herd so we

don't infect others. The cack-headed idjits."

Dads hated that communal instinct. Because of it, infected Ooloms didn't stay in cities or towns where

they'd be close to medical facilities; they headed for the woods, the wilderness, to be on their own. Their

species had no trouble living rough out there—they'd been specifically engineered to thrive on Demoth's

native greenery. Leaves and bark pulled from trees, seedpods hanging by the hundreds all year round...

the Ooloms could eat, they could glide, they could wait, as the paralysis crept stealthily through their

bodies.

They stayed out there, isolated and degenerating from disease, as summer surrendered to wistful fall.

Then they began drifting back, when their muscles had frozen to the point that even such grand

hunter-gatherers could no longer fend for themselves.

In my dreams I still see them floating in the night: paralyzed bodies black against the stars, gliding over

Sallysweet River like kites cut free of their strings. They waited till they were inches near helpless... barely

able to control their direction of flight. The ones we found often had branches lashed to their arms or legs

with cord-vine, to give themselves a more rigid flying structure after major muscles failed. Most tied their

mouths closed too; otherwise, their jaws fell open, and they swallowed insects during flight.

So the Ooloms surrendered in the end... the ones who didn't leave it too late. They gave themselves up

to humans and let us fight the disease on their behalf. In the shieldlands of Great St. Caspian, that meant

the Ooloms headed for Sallysweet River.

When the last shift at Rustico Nickel left work at dawn, the miners would go around town with wooden

carts, gathering the bodies that had landed overnight—on roofs, across the Bullet tracks, spread-eagled

over the hoods of ore-carriers... wherever the Ooloms' haphazard flight took them. From there, the body

carts trundled along dirt tracks and wood-slat sidewalks till they reached our backyard—a crude field

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hospital slung together by my father under yellowed-canvas tenting. The Big Top we called it. Or the

Circus.

Every human with time to spare helped out under the Big Top: feeding Ooloms who couldn't feed

themselves, or fiddling with catheters, enemas and what-all, for those who'd lost the muscles to keep

themselves clean. Sometimes it seemed the whole town was there. My best friend Lynn, Lynn Jones,

liked to say, "Everyone's run off to join the Circus." The schools closed for the duration of the epidemic,

so all my friends lent a hand—some working long hours, others coming in skittish for twenty minutes, then

disappearing when the stink and suffering became too much to bear.

I could stand the stench; it was the death that squeezed in on me. Our patients' hearts turning to

motionless meat. Diaphragms going slack. Digestive systems no longer pushing food through the

intestines, and people rotting from the inside out. Eight weeks after Dads read me that first medical

notice, Ooloms started to die in the Circus... and they died and they died and they died.

In those days, I slept with my habitat dome set one-way transparent so I could see outside. Roof and

walls were wholly invisible, and I'd moved my room far apart from other bubble-domes in our

compound, so their lights scarcely reached me. Bed at night was like lying in open air, vulnerable to

storms and stars.

My mother (who grew up mainstream and oh-so-proper on New Earth) thought only sluts slept clear.

She couldn't stop making remarks about her "exhibitionist" daughter; she was fair frantic-sure I pranced

naked around my room, pretending people could peer in as easily as I could peer out.

That they could see me. That Iwanted them to see.

Just my mother's feverish imagination. The death-filled weeks of the plague had sent her spiraling into

shrill neurosis, where she believed everything I did had some perverse sexual subtext. Truth was, I kept

my dome one-way clear so I could tell if an Oolom crash-landed nearby. I hated the thought of a

paralyzed body caught in the honey bushes outside my habitat. Not that I was stirred by concern for

some poor person suffering... I just got the cold icks, worrying there might be a limp, corpselikething

lying unseen on the other side of my wall.

One morning, it happened: a gray drizzly dawn, with the rain beading and runneling down the dome,

making a soft patter that keeps you in a fuzz between waking and sleep. Lovely. Dreamy. Then

something slapped against the clear roof of my room.

The sound barely penetrated my doze. Gradually I became aware the timbre of the rain had changed,

now spittering off wet-washed skin rather than the dome's invisible structure field. I opened my eyes...

...and found myself staring up at an Oolom woman, plastered against the dome like a drenched sheet on

glass. Her face was spread wide as if she were screaming.

I almost screamed myself. Not fear, just the jolt of being startled—the sudden sight of her, splashed five

meters above me. Heaven knows, I'd seen enough Ooloms in the same condition: the drooping jaw, the

eyes wide-open because the eyelid muscles could no longer blink. (All Divian species blink from the

bottom lid up; the slackness of paralysis made Oolom eyes sag open under gravity's pull.)

For several seconds, I didn't move. Instinct—freeze, someone's watching. But the woman overhead

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couldn't see me through the dome; from the outside, the field was opaque navy blue, a repressed, severe

shade my mother decreed mandatory to prevent the neighbors thinking I was odd.

Odd = sexual. My mother's ongoing obsession.

My own sanity had its share of wobbles too, especially with a half-dead Oolom sprawled gaping above

me. Ripe with the squirming creeps, I slid from my bed, threw on some clothes, and hurried out into the

rain.

From the ground, I couldn't see the Oolom on my roof—not with drizzle smearying my eyes and the

woman's chameleon scales already changed color to match the dome's navy blue. (The chameleon effect

was glandular, not muscle-driven; it worked no matter how paralyzed an Oolom might be.)

I didn't waste time peering up into the rain; the woman couldn't have gone anywhere, could she? Lifting

my arm, I whispered to the control implant tucked skin-under my left wrist. "House-soul, attend. Faye's

room, dome field: access stairs, please."

The dome's navy hemisphere quivered a moment, like silk rippling in the wind. Then it restabilized into

the same shape, but with a flight of steep steps leading over in an arc, up one side and down the other. I

climbed the steps two at a time till I reached the top and skittered over the slippery-smooth surface to

where the woman lay.

She lifted her head... which is to say she tilted it half-askew, as if she only had working muscles on one

side of her neck. "Good morning," she whispered, framing the words as best she could with only a

thread's control over her jaw. After weeks of tending patients in similar condition, I could understand her

well enough. "A soft day," she said, rain trickling unhindered over her eyeballs.

"Very soft," I agreed. My hair was already sodden and streaming. In the pouring damp, I envied Oolom

skins: tough and waterproof as well-oiled leather. On the other hand, human anatomy had its strong

points too, especially in the design of ears. Ooloms hear with fluid-filled globe-sacs, fist-sized spherical

eardrums mounted high on either side of the head. Usually, they're protected by retractable sheath tissue,

like eyelids that close around the ear-balls. Ear-lids you could call them—a thin inner one for day-to-day,

plus a thick outer one to provide extra muffling against vicious-loud noises. Your average Oolom hardly

ever opens both ear-lids, except when listening for whispers as faint as an aphid's sigh... or when the

muscles controlling the lids go limp with paralysis.

This woman's ear-lids lay in useless crumples on her scalp, like sloughed-off snakeskins. It left her

hearing-globes exposed and vulnerable: inflated balloons of raw eardrum, battered hard by rain.

Straightaway, I cupped my hands above her to shield her ears from the drops. Though her face scarcely

had a working muscle left, I could see a clinch of tension ease out of her features, and she let her head

relax back against the dome. The whish of soft drizzle might still sound like hammers to her—naked

Oolom ears are so sensitive, they can catch a human heartbeat at five paces—but at least I'd ended any

direct pain from the splash.

"Jai,"the woman whispered: "Thank you" in Oolom. For a moment she lay worn-out quiet, just

breathing softly. Then she added,"Fé leejemm."

I bowed in response. The words were Oolom for "You hear the thunder," a phrase of approval doled

out to people who do what decency requires. The related phrase,Fé leejedd (I hear the thunder) got

used in the sense of "I do the things that are obviously right"... or in the parlance of the League of

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Peoples, "I am a sentient being."

"My name is Zillif," the woman said in her whisper. "And you?"

"Faye," I replied, as softly as I could to avoid hurting her ears. "Faye Smallwood."

"From the family of Dr. Henry Smallwood?"

"His daughter."

Another knot of tension loosened on the woman's half-slack face. "I deliver myself to you," she

whispered. "I declare myself unfit to make my own decisions.Fé leejedd po."

Fé leejedd po.I cannot hear the thunder. I can't trust myself to do what's right.

Every patient in my dad's field hospital mumbled those words from time to time. They seemed relieved

when they could give up responsibility for their lives.

As delicately as my wet fingers could, I arranged Zillif's ear-lids to cover her exposed globe-sacs.

Sooner or later the limp skin-sheaths would slide off again; there was nothing holding them in place. But

with a spit-coat of luck, they'd stay put the two minutes I'd need to carry her down to the Circus. There,

Dads could suture-clip the sheaths into suitable positions: inner one closed for comfort, outer one open

so we nursing folks didn't have to shout ourselves hoarse to be heard. Every last Oolom under the Big

Top had been rigged the same way.

When Zillif's ear-globes were safe, I slipped my arms under her body and lifted. She weighed no more

than a child, though she measured a full hand taller than I. Light Oolom body, low Demoth gravity. I, of

course, was lifting with the glossy-hard strength of aHomo sap designed for full Earth G: "A strapping

girl," as Lynn liked to tease me. "Prime Amazonian beef." Can I help it if I grew up tall and

broad-shouldered? Not to mention, a doctor's daughter is never allowed to skip (a) her monthly

muscle-preservative injections, or (b) her daily twenty minutes of Home-G exercise in the simulator.

Still, just being strong enough to carry Zillif didn't make the job simple. The woman flopped. She

fluttered. She draped badly, with her glider membranes flapping against my legs like long, trip-hazard

petticoats. And even though her four limbs were dysfunctional, they weren't one hundred percent

paralyzed. Zillif still had full power in the Oolom equivalent of the triceps muscle for straightening her right

arm. She also had the instinctive Oolom urge to stay flat-on-the-bubble balanced, no yaw, no pitch, no

roll. Whenever I tipped the skimpiest bit off level, she flailed out her one mobile arm and whacked me in

the jaw with her elbow.

I'd taken similar clonks while tending other paralysis victims—automatic reflexes are, all very fine with a

full set of muscles, but they can be the devil's own nuisance when a single surviving muscle keeps firing

with nothing to counterbalance it. As I began to trudge gingerly down the steps of the dome (smack in the

jaw, crack in the jaw), I found myself wishing Zillif's last muscles were frozen too.

Elbow whacks notwithstanding, we made it safe to solid ground. Once down, I took a moment to

rearrange my burden into a more comfortable carrying position. The solid part of Zillif's body was just a

thin cylinder, no bigger round than one of my thighs; but the parachute folds of her glider membranes

were as bulky as a load of laundry. A load ofwet laundry, pressed soggily against me. My jacket made

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soft squishy-gush sounds when I shifted Zillif's weight in my arms. Wrung-out rainwater spilled down cold

on the flouncy "ladylike" clothes Mother made me wear.

As I started carrying Zillif along the edge of our fern garden, she murmured, "Your hands are warm,

Faye Smallwood. I can feel them against my back."

"That would be the legendary human body heat, ma'am." Ooloms found it a source of rapture and delight

that weHomo saps were so exothermal. Their own skin temperatures ran a dozen degrees cooler. Any

human walking down the street in an Oolom town could expect Oolom children constantly underfoot,

them patting their hands against your ass while they giggled, "You're hot!"

"I have heard about human warmth from friends," Zillif said. "But experiencing it personally is...

disturbing."

"If the heat is too much for you," I told her, "I can wrap my hands in my jacket."

"No, your temperature is quite pleasant," she said. "What bothers me is that I knew about human body

heat and was still surprised by it. Such things are not supposed to happen to someone in my profession."

She turned her head, aiming for an angle where she could look me sharp in the eye... but with slabs of

her neck muscles gone AWOL, she couldn't manage. "Forgive me if I err," Zillif said, "but you are a

young human, are you not? Under age?"

Ooloms cared about such things. "I get the vote two elections from now," I answered. That was two and

a half Demoth years away—almost four Earth years.

"May you vote wisely," she told me. It was a common Oolom phrase, and mainly just a pleasantry, the

way humans toss offGood luck orHave a safe trip. Zillif, though, put more feeling into the words.

Sincerity. A moment later she added, "I haven't voted in the elections for many years."

She said it blandly, the way people do when they want to see how quick you are on the uptake. I got it

right away... and in my surprise, I precious near slipped on the rain-slick grass.

Here's the thing: Ooloms voted every chance they got. They exulted in it. Compulsive democracy

galloped through their veins. Even the paralyzed patients in the Circus were constantly holding plebiscites

on what types of music they'd sing, or how they should honor the latest casualties of the disease. A

self-respecting Oolom would no more skip voting in an election than a human would skip wearing clothes

when the thermometer dropped to brass monkey. Unless...

"Have I the honor," I said formally, "of speaking with a member of the Vigil?"

"Even so," Zillif answered.

It seemed witless to curtsy to a woman I was carrying in my arms. I still gave it a try.

Before Zillif could say more, we rounded the edge of my parents' dome—a hemisphere of gutless

charcoal gray, which my mother claimed was the only proper color for a physician's personal quarters.

Beyond lay the Circus: a muddy meadow under wet canvas, water streaming down into puddles

wherever the tenting sagged low.

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My father would have preferred to keep the patients indoors, but Ooloms got the claustrophobic chokes

at the thought of human buildings. Lynn described Ooloms as "arboreal with a vengeance"—whoever

designed their genome must have thought it cute to make Ooloms starvingly hungry for light and fresh air.

As a human, I couldn't complain; the main reason weHomo saps got invited to Demoth was because

Ooloms couldn't stand running their own mine operations.

Before we came, Oolom mines had been pure robot business and increasingly meager for the planet's

needs—once you exhaust the easy veins of ore, remote machine digging doesn't bring up enough to pay

for itself. In 2402, the Demoth government admitted they needed sentient beings working the drills; so

they solicited applications from various groups on other planets (Divians, humans, a few alien races), and

eventually turned over their whole mining industry to a party from the planet Come-By-Chance. About

500,000 Come-By-Chance humans voluntarily emigrated to new lives on Demoth... including young Dr.

Henry Smallwood and his hard-to-please missus.

The Demoth mining industry picked up the moment we arrived.Homo saps didn't crapulate into panic

attacks at the thought of digging underground... just as Ooloms, even sick ones, didn't mind the cold and

wet if they could just feel the wind.

You could surely feel the wind that day under the Big Top. You could hear it too, romping and rollicking

like a drunk uncle—the frisk of the breeze and the constant sound of rain. The paradiddle patter on the

roof fabric. The dripping splash around the edge.

One hundred and twenty cots lay under the canvas. White sheets, white blankets. From the edge of the

yard, every bed looked empty—their Oolom occupants had turned white too, chameleon skins bleaching

themselves to match the background. Some half-asleep mornings I'd drag myself to the Circus, see

white-on-white, and imagine all the Ooloms were gone: died in the dark, taken off for mass burial.

But no—we only lost two or three patients a night. We also collected two or three new patients every

dawn, which made for a glum equilibrium: outgoing deaths = incoming casualties. The construction shop

at Rustico Nickel kept promising to build extra cots if we needed them, but we hadn't asked for any in

almost a week.

We were holding even... but it wouldn't last. Everyone juggling bedpans under the Big Top knew it was

just a matter of time before deaths exceeded new arrivals. Whereupon the Circus would begin to empty

itself. Show over, the crowd goes home.

The duty nurse saw us coming; he'd filled out a bed assignment by the time we traipsed up. "Row five,

cot three," he said, looking at me instead of Zillif. He was a retired miner named Pook—spent every

waking minute at the Circus but fiercely avoided personal interaction with the patients. I don't know if

Pook hated Ooloms, sickness, or both. Still, he put in more time under the Big Top than anyone,

including Dads and me: keeping records up-to-date, tinkering with our makeshift IV stands, pushing

himself till exhaustion wept out of him like sweat.

Pook's own form of mental breakdown.

As I lugged Zillif down the rows of cots, I automatically held my breath as long as I could—the Circus

stank with a circus stink. Urine and feces from patients who couldn't control themselves. Disinfectant

splashed over everything that might carry microbes. The strong metallic smell of Oolom blood, taken as

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samples so we could plot the advance of the disease. The work sweat of human volunteers, everyone

changing bed linen in the gray dawn or rotating the patients to prevent bedsores. The earthiness of mud

underfoot, tangled with the lye-soap fragrance of Demoth yellow-grass.

The Ooloms could smell none of it, the bad or the worse. Thanks for that went to a flaw in their

engineering. When the prototypes of the breed were created centuries ago, their ability to smell had been

lost... derailed as an accidental side effect of the mods made to their bodies, some dead-gap in the

skimpy neural pathway leading from nose to brain. The DNA stylists who made them were working on a

budget and didn't consider the shortcoming important enough to correct; and the Ooloms, of course,

didn't know what they were missing.

Lucky them.

Approaching row five, cot three, I wondered who'd occupied this bed the day before. It says something,

doesn't it, that I couldn't remember. I'd chatted with so many patients over the previous weeks, got to

know them...

No, no, no. The point is, I hadn't got to know them. I'd picked up trivial facts about certain

people—where they lived before the plague, what work they did—but I was all surface, no salt. Most

patients could barely talk; and I could barely listen. When you're fifteen you want to be so slick, you

want to swallow the world and stool it out... but you haven't half learned to deaden yourself, not the way

adults artfully, reflexively deaden themselves every hour of the day. At fifteen, all you can do is close

down bolt-tight: go through the motions of caring and concern but shut your eyes and ears, not let the

bad bitchies in. That's not deadening yourself, it's internal bleeding. Swinging back and forth from "Oh

God, I don't want to be here," to "Oh Christ, I have to help this person!"

The only reason I didn't run was an alpha-queen need to save face in front of my friends. To maintain my

la-di-dah social position. They were the children of miners; I was the daughter of a doctor. If I wanted

that difference to mean something—and mook-stupid, I did—I had to play nurse to the bitter end.

That drove me to stay hard, hold my breath, and lay Zillif on her assigned cot. In the minutes since I

picked her up, she'd already turned copper-rust green, the shade of my jacket; but once in bed, her color

bleached away fast. By the time I'd arranged her arms and legs, then hospital-folded her glider

membranes into the standard bed-patient pattern, Zillif lay white as a bone.

"Thank you, Faye Smallwood," she said. "You've been very kind."

"Is there anything nice I can bring you?" I asked. "Are you hungry?" Most Ooloms brought to the Circus

hadn't eaten for days, no more than a few liver-nuts or clankbeetles. A woebegone percentage were also

dehydrated... not that Zillif had that problem, considering how soaked we both were with rain.

"I would like food eventually," she answered, "but not right away."

Her voice hinted she wanted something different. I looked around, but didn't see my father in the hospital

yet; usually the light woke him at dawn, but a gray day like this was dark enough he might sleep longer.

My bad luck—I was itching to abandon our new patient to him. "Is there someone you'd like me to

check on?" I asked. "I can link into hospital registries all over the world. If you want news about friends

or family..."

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

James Alan Gardner - League of Peoples 03 - Vigilant

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