file:///F|/rah/Orson%20Scott%20Card/Ender's%20Saga%202%20-%20Speaker%20For%20The%20Dead.txt
remembered asking himself. It's the funeral of her parents, she's the last survivor in her family;
yet all around her she can sense the great rejoicing of the people of this colony. Young as she
is, does she understand that our joy is the best tribute to her parents? They struggled and
succeeded, finding our salvation in the waning days before they died; we are here to celebrate the
great gift they gave us. But to you, Novinha, it's the death of your parents, as your brothers
died before. Five hundred dead, and more than a hundred masses for the dead here in this colony in
the last six months, and all of them were held in an atmosphere of fear and grief and despair.
Now, when your parents die, the fear and grief and despair are no less for you than ever before--
but no one else shares your pain. It is the relief from pain that is foremost in our minds.
Watching her, trying to imagine her feelings, he succeeded only in rekindling his own grief at
the death of his own Maria, seven years old, swept away in the wind of death that covered her body
in cancerous growth and rampant funguses, the flesh swelling or decaying, a new limb, not arm or
leg, growing out of her hip, while the flesh sloughed off her feet and head, baring the bones, her
sweet and beautiful body destroyed before their eyes, while her bright mind was mercilessly alert,
able to feel all that happened to her until she cried out to God to let her die. Pipo remembered
that, and then remembered her requiem mass, shared with five other victims. As he sat, knelt,
stood there with his wife and surviving children, he had felt the perfect unity of the people in
the Cathedral. He knew that his pain was everybody's pain, that through the loss of his eldest
daughter he was bound to his community with the inseparable bonds of grief, and it was a comfort
to him, it was something to cling to. That was how such a grief ought to be, a public mourning.
Little Novinha had nothing of that. Her pain was, if anything, worse than Pipo's had been-- at
least Pipo had not been left without any family at all, and he was an adult, not a child terrified
by suddenly losing the foundation of her life. In her grief she was not drawn more tightly into
the community, but rather excluded from it. Today everyone was rejoicing, except her. Today
everyone praised her parents; she alone yearned for them, would rather they had never found the
cure for others if only they could have remained alive themselves.
Her isolation was so acute that Pipo could see it from where he sat. Novinha took her hand away
from the Mayor as quickly as possible. Her tears dried up as the mass progressed; by the end she
sat in silence, like a prisoner refusing to cooperate with her captors. Pipo's heart broke for
her. Yet he knew that even if he tried, he could not conceal his own gladness at the end of the
Descolada, his rejoicing that none of his other children would be taken from him. She would see
that; his effort to comfort her would be a mockery, would drive her further away.
After the mass she walked in bitter solitude amid the crowds of well-meaning people who cruelly
told her that her parents were sure to be saints, sure to sit at the right hand of God. What kind
of comfort is that for a child? Pipo whispered aloud to his wife, "She'll never forgive us for
today."
"Forgive?" Conceicao was not one of those wives who instantly understood her husband's train of
thought. "We didn't kill her parents--"
"But we're all rejoicing today, aren't we? She'll never forgive us for that."
"Nonsense. She doesn't understand anyway; she's too young."
She understands, Pipo thought. Didn't Maria understand things when she was even younger than
Novinha is now?
As the years passed-- eight years now-- he had seen her from time to time. She was his son
Libo's age, and until Libo's thirteenth birthday that meant they were in many classes together. He
heard her give occasional readings and speeches, along with other children. There was an elegance
to her thought, an intensity to her examination of ideas that appealed to him. At the same time,
she seemed utterly cold, completely removed from everyone else. Pipo's own boy, Libo, was shy, but
even so he had several friends, and had won the affection of his teachers. Novinha, though, had no
friends at all, no one whose gaze she sought after a moment of triumph. There was no teacher who
genuinely liked her, because she refused to reciprocate, to respond. "She is emotionally
paralyzed," Dona Crist said once when Pipo asked about her. "There is no reaching her. She swears
that she's perfectly happy, and doesn't see any need to change."
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