than any amount of asbestos.
But my uncle was not a man to be kept waiting; so adjourning therefore all minor questions, I
presented myself before him.
He was a very learned man. Now most persons in this category supply themselves with
information, as peddlers do with goods, for the benefit of others, and lay up stores in order to
diffuse them abroad for the benefit of society in general. Not so my excellent uncle, Professor
Hardwigg; he studied, he consumed the midnight oil, he pored over heavy tomes, and digested
huge quartos and folios in order to keep the knowledge acquired to himself.
There was a reason, and it may be regarded as a good one, why my uncle objected to display
his learning more than was absolutely necessary: he stammered; and when intent upon
explaining the phenomena of the heavens, was apt to find himself at fault, and allude in such a
vague way to sun, moon, and stars that few were able to comprehend his meaning. To tell the
honest truth, when the right word would not come, it was generally replaced by a very
powerful adjective.
In connection with the sciences there are many almost unpronounceable names- names very
much resembling those of Welsh villages; and my uncle being very fond of using them, his
habit of stammering was not thereby improved. In fact, there were periods in his discourse
when he would finally give up and swallow his discomfiture- in a glass of water.
As I said, my uncle, Professor Hardwigg, was a very learned man; and I now add a most kind
relative. I was bound to him by the double ties of affection and interest. I took deep interest in
all his doings, and hoped some day to be almost as learned myself. It was a rare thing for me
to be absent from his lectures. Like him, I preferred mineralogy to all the other sciences. My
anxiety was to gain real knowledge of the earth. Geology and mineralogy were to us the sole
objects of life, and in connection with these studies many a fair specimen of stone, chalk, or
metal did we break with our hammers.
Steel rods, loadstones, glass pipes, and bottles of various acids were oftener before us than our
meals. My uncle Hardwigg was once known to classify six hundred different geological
specimens by their weight, hardness, fusibility, sound, taste, and smell.
He corresponded with all the great, learned, and scientific men of the age. I was, therefore, in
constant communication with, at all events the letters of, Sir Humphry Davy, Captain
Franklin, and other great men.
But before I state the subject on which my uncle wished to confer with me, I must say a word
about his personal appearance. Alas! my readers will see a very different portrait of him at a
future time, after he has gone through the fearful adventures yet to be related.
My uncle was fifty years old; tall, thin, and wiry. Large spectacles hid, to a certain extent, his
vast, round, and goggle eyes, while his nose was irreverently compared to a thin file. So much
indeed did it resemble that useful article, that a compass was said in his presence to have made
considerable N (Nasal) deviation.
The truth being told, however, the only article really attracted to my uncle's nose was tobacco.
Another peculiarity of his was, that he always stepped a yard at a time, clenched his fists as if
he were going to hit you, and was, when in one of his peculiar humors, very far from a