
1
* * *
When she woke, she thought she was blind. She opened her eyes and could see only purple
darkness, ominous and shapeless shadows stirring within other shadows. Before she could panic, that
gloom gave way to a pale haze, and the haze resolved into a white, acoustic-tile ceiling.
She smelled fresh bed linens. Antiseptics. Disinfectants. Rubbing alcohol.
She turned her head, and pain flashed the length of her forehead, as if an electric shock had snapped
through her skull from temple to temple. Her eyes immediately swam out of focus. When her vision
cleared again, she saw that she was in a hospital room.
She could not remember being admitted to a hospital. She didn't even know the name of it or in what
city it was located.
What's wrong with me?
She raised one dismayingly weak arm, put a hand to her brow, and discovered a bandage over half
of her forehead. Her hair was quite short, too. Hadn't she worn it long and full?
She had insufficient strength to keep her arm raised; she let it drop back to the mattress.
She couldn't raise her left arm at all, for it was taped to a heavy board and pierced by a needle. She
was being fed intravenously: the chrome IV rack, with its dangling bottle of glucose, stood beside the
bed.
For a moment she closed her eyes, certain that she was only dreaming. When she looked again,
however, the room was still there, unchanged: white ceiling, white walls, a green tile floor, pale yellow
drapes drawn back at the sides of the large window. Beyond the glass, there were tall evergreens of
some kind and a cloudy sky with only a few small patches of blue. There was another bed, but it was
empty; she had no roommate.
The side rails on her own bed were raised to prevent her from falling to the floor. She felt as helpless
as a baby in a crib.
She realized she didn't know her name. Or her age. Or anything else about herself.
She strained against the blank wall in her mind, attempt-ing to topple it and release the memories
imprisoned on the other side, but she had no success; the wall stood, inviolate. Like a blossom of frost,
fear opened icy petals in the pit of her stomach. She tried harder to remember, but she had no success.
Amnesia. Brain damage.
Those dreaded words landed with the force of hammer blows in her mind. Evidently, she had been in
an accident and had sustained a serious head injury. She considered the grim prospect of permanent
mental disorientation, and she shuddered.
Suddenly, however, unexpected and unsought, her name came to her. Susan. Susan Thorton. She
was thirty-two years old.
The anticipated flood of recollections turned out to be just a trickle. She could recall nothing more
than her name and age. Although she probed insistently at the darkness in her mind, she couldn't
remember where she lived. How did she earn her living? Was she married? Did she have any children?
Where had she been born? Where had she gone to school? What foods did she like? What was her
favorite kind of music? She could find no answers to either important or trivial questions.
Amnesia. Brain damage.
Fear quickened her heartbeat. Then, mercifully, she remembered that she had been on vacation in
Oregon. She didn't know where she had come from; she didn't know what job she would return to once
her vacation came to an end; but at least she knew where she was. Somewhere in Oregon. The last thing
she could recall was a beautiful mountain highway. An image of that landscape came to her in vivid detail.