
The waitress blew air impatiently between her lips and, tilting her head slightly, asked, "Can we just, you
know . . . forget I ever said anything about 'rock people'?"
"Gladly. Scotch."
"On the rocks," McHenry put in.
Kebron fired him a sidelong glance. "Don't push it."
As the waitress, shaking her head, walked away, Lefler looked back to Shelby. "Commander . . . maybe
you should really talk about it. Maybe," and she glanced at the others, "maybe we all should. About the
destruction of the Excalibur. About how it happened. About..."
"You've missed your calling," Burgoyne said wryly. "You should be a ship's counselor."
"My mother's said that, too," Lefler admitted with a laugh. "She told me she'd be so proud to have a
ship's counselor for a daughter."
"Lieutenant . . . Robin," Shelby said, placing a friendly hand on Lefler's, "I know you're just trying to help.
And maybe there's something to be said for what you're suggesting. But the simple truth is this We've
been reliving it, all of us, for the past few weeks. Board of inquiries up one side and down the other,
poring over every detail again and again. Every minute of the ship's last five minutes of life, everything that
all
of us did, and endlessly being asked-and asking ourselves-whether there was anything else we could
have done, any other way we could have handled it. I don't know about you, but I am .. ." She drummed
her fingers on the table. "I am tired. I am so tired of second-guessing myself. That's what these inquiries
do to you. They don't just try to answer the questions that the board has. They start raising all sorts of
questions in your own head, to the point where you don't know which end is up, what's right and what's
wrong."
"You did nothing wrong."
It was a new arrival who had spoken. They looked up and saw that Ambassador Si Cwan had come up
behind them. His advent was quite the contrary of Kebron's. Whereas Kebron had telegraphed his
coming with every step, the erstwhile crew of the Excalibur hadn't noticed the Thallonian until he was
right up behind them. Whether it was because they were so engrossed in discussion, or because Si Cwan
just had a preternatural knack for entering a room unseen, Shelby couldn't be sure. Standing next to him
was his younger sister, Kalinda. The change that she had undergone had been quite something to see as
far as Shelby was concerned. She had first come aboard the Excalibur confused, out of place, unsure of
something as fundamental as her own identity. Now, however, she had a regal and confident bearing that
was nearly on par with that of her brother. However, there was still a slight twinkle of mischievous-ness
in her eye that Shelby found amusingly appealing.
"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Ambassador," she said. "Please, take a seat."
He glanced at the one next to Shelby but said nothing, as if he intuited its purpose. Instead he and
Kalinda took up chairs at the far end of the table.
"What I was saying," continued Shelby, "is that we've all gone over those last, depressing minutes so
many times . . . that, frankly, I'm sick to death of post mortems. I suspect we all are." There were
concurring nods from around the table from everyone except Kebron, who didn't really have a neck that
permitted nodding, so he tilted his upper torso slightly.
"Therefore, I suggest we make an agreement For our mutual sanity, none of us ever discusses the
destruction of the Excalibur again. We all know what happened. There's no need to belabor it ad
infinitum, ad nauseam. So let's just not talk about it. No recriminations, no second-guessing, no finger
pointing ... because that's what any talks about it would invariably devolve into. And I know this group.
We won't all be blaming each other."
"No. We'll be blaming ourselves," said Lefler. Again there were nods.
"So we're agreed?"
There were choruses of affirmation from around the table, and Shelby let out a relieved sigh. "Good.
Good, I'm glad. And I think that's a decision that Mac would approve... of..."
"Would have approved of," Selar corrected.
Everyone looked at her, and she looked at the scowls focused upon her. "It is simply proper grammar,"