
at the plate for a few minutes, mesmerized. McEvoy had told her she could see the American and
Pacifica stations at different times of the day if she followed his instructions, but she was far more
captivated by the rusty orange disk that filled the window. It was so vivid that it looked unreal, a
projection for her education or entertainment. No matter how hard she tried to see it as a
three-dimensional sphere, it remained an illustration on a flat screen.
Movement caught her eye. Along the jutting spar of a mooring boom, two figures in self-luminescent
green marshaling suits were guiding a tiny vessel into a bay. No mainframe access meant the automatic
navigation was down; they were securing the ship manually, one standing on the gantry above the vessel
and signaling with spiraling hand gestures, one alongside on the boom operating the winch.
Odd to think they still used antiquated hand signals. But even Morse code still had its uses. There was a
lot to be said for old tech, Shan thought, and toyed with the swiss in her pocket.
She watched. Slowly, slowly, farther astern, then the figure on the gantry held arms aloft, wrists crossed
in an X, the signal to make fast, to secure the lines. The locking buffers extended to take the touch of the
stern, and the vessel shivered to a halt. And suddenly she couldn't see the hand signals of the berth
marshals anymore, because she was looking at the leather-glove hands of a gorilla.
The primate was staring intently into her face as it made the same gesture, the same sign, over and over
again; rubbing its palm in a circular motion over its chest, then a fiston-palm gesture. Its eyes never left
hers.
Please help me. Please help me. Please…
She didn't know what it meant at the time. The animal technician had said it was asking for food, please,
and wasn't it great that you could teach apes to sign? And she had believed him, right up to the time when
a deaf interpreter told her what the gesture really meant.
How could I have known? She didn't sign. But she knew now, and she had gone on knowing every day
ever since, and the shame and regret had not faded any more than had the blinding, personal revelation
that there was a person behind those ape eyes.
The gorilla was gone and lime-green shiny marshals were working their way, hand over hand, up the
gantry to the next mooring. Mars was as red as Australia. She had forgotten how much color there was
to see in space.
And I'm going home.
For a moment she wondered who would worry about the people behind ape eyes when she had retired,
and hoped that it would be McEvoy.
She unpacked her grip almost without thinking. She had been living out of it for the last ten years, and her
life could fit into it with room for a dress uniform, personal library and her own steel mug with a carabiner
for a handle. Just running her hand over the grip's taut-stretched navy blue fabric would tell her if she had
forgotten anything, and she hadn't. She didn't forget things. There was one extra item wedged in the
shockproof section: a two-centimeter-square case that would have rattled if she hadn't packed wadding
into it to stop the seeds inside it giving the game away.
Technically, the tomato seeds were illegal biomaterial, but she was EnHaz, and nobody would stop her.
Anyway, she no longer cared. It wasn't a contamination risk. But she was damned if one more
agricorporation was going to tell her what she could plant and grow and eat. All seed varieties were the
patented property of a company; so her own crossbred tomato plants, reared on a windowsill from