
He became increasingly desperate, increasingly bitter.
One night, he sat down to study the costumes of bygone eras. Which were intrin-sically and
flatteringly virile—so virile that no woman would dare force her way into them?
Men's styles in the late nineteenth century, for example. They were certainly mas-culine in that you
never saw a picture of women wearing them, but what was to pre-vent the modern female from doing so
if she chose? And they were far too heavy and clumsy for the gentle, made-to-order climates of today's
world.
Back went Pollyglow, century by century, shaking his head and straining his eyes over ancient, fuzzy
woodcuts. Not this, no, nor that. He was morosely examining pictures of knights in armor and trying to
imagine a mailed shirt with a zipper up the back, when he leaned away wearily and noticed a
fifteenth-century portrait lying among the pile of rejects at his feet.
This was the moment when Masculinism began.
Several of the other drawings had slid across the portrait, obscuring most of it. The tight-fitting hose
over which Pollyglow had bitten his dry old lips negatively—these were barely visible. But between them,
in emphatic, distinctive bulge, between them—
The codpiece!
This little bag which had once been worn on the front of the hose or breeches—how easily it could
be added to a man's jumper! It was unquestionably, definitively male: any woman could wear it, of
course, but on her clothing it would be merely a useless appendage, nay, worse than that, it would be an
empty mockery.
He worked all night, roughing out drawings for his designers. In bed at last, and exhausted, he was
still bubbling with so much enthusiasm that he forgot about sleep and hitched his aching shoulder blades
up against the headboard. Visions of codpieces, millions of them, all hanging from Pollyglow Men's
Jumpers, danced and swung and undulated in his head as he stared into the darkness.
But the wholesalers refused the new garment. The old Pollyglow Jumper—yes: there were still a few
conservative, fuddy-duddy men around who preferred famil-iarity and comfort to style. But who in the
world would want this unaesthetic nov-elty? Why it flew in the very face of the modern doctrine of
interchangeable sexes!
His salesmen learned not to use that as an excuse for failure. "Separateness!" he would urge them as
they slumped back into the office. "Differentness! You've got to sell them on separateness and
differentness! It's our only hope—it's the hope of the world!"
Pollyglow almost forgot the moribund state of his business, suffocating for lack of sales. He wanted
to save the world. He shook with the force of his revelation: he had come bearing a codpiece and no one
would have it. They must—for their own good.
He borrowed heavily and embarked upon a modest advertising campaign. Ignor-ing the more
expensive, general-circulation media, he concentrated his budget in areas of entertainment aimed
exclusively at men. His ads appeared in high-rated television shows of the day, soap operas like "The
Senator's Husband," and in the more popular men's magazines—Cowboy Confession Stories and
Scandals of World War I Flying Aces.
The ads were essentially the same, whether they were one-pagers in color or sixty-second
commercials. You saw a hefty, husky man with a go-to-hell expression on his face. He was smoking a
big, black cigar and wore a brown derby cocked carelessly on the side of his head. And he was dressed
in a Pollyglow Men's Jumper from the front of which there was suspended a huge codpiece in green or
yellow or bright, bright red.
Originally, the text consisted of five emphatic lines: