
“My sword,” she muttered as she struggled to her feet. “Where’d I store that damn
sword?”
Since marrying Jon-Tom she hadn’t had much occasion to make use of her old
weapon. During holidays it was handy for making spectacularly short work of a big
roast. Otherwise it slept in storage, her thieving and fighting days being far behind
her. But she hadn’t forgotten how to use it.
Was it in with the cutlery? No, not enough room. Behind the stove? No, it would’ve
stuck out there. She finally located it jammed unceremoniously in the back of the
broom closet. Except for a light glaze of kitchen grease it was perfectly functional.
Hefting the familiar old grip in both hands, she turned in her housedress to confront
the room full of clawing, cawing demons. Pots and dishes were scattered everywhere,
food containers had been upturned and then contents dumped on the counters, while
piquant liquids pooled on her painstakingly polished floor.
“Chaos repossess all of you, Spawn of Hell!” Swinging the sword in broad, powerful,
horizontal arcs, she waded fearlessly into the babble.
Heads, limbs, and interesting other body parts went flying as blood of dissimilar
colors spurted, mixing with the spilled honey and milk and household cleansers. She
knew it was going to take a heavy, not to mention expensive, housecleaning spell to
scrub away the carnage, but she was damned if she was going to clean up this mess
manually. Jon-Tom was going to have to drop whatever he was involved with and do
something about it.
Squealing and striking out with long, pointed arms, a giant blue spider rushed her on
stiltlike legs. Skewering it neatly, she swung the sword and bashed its brains out
against the baking counter. Green ichor and pink brains bubbled from the crushed
chiton, getting all over the batch of sprinkle-topped cupcakes she’d made just the
week before. At that sight her fury knew no bounds, and she laid about the kitchen
with a will.
Demonic shapes struck at her, or scrambled to get out of her way, or sought escape in
cabinets and drawers. Yet despite her successes, progress eluded her. Mocking her
efforts, fresh furies materialized whenever another was destroyed. They kept coming
at her: oozing up out of the floor, dropping down from the skylight, spiraling up out
of the sinks—an endless procession of horrors that reinforced themselves even as she
demolished their predecessors.
Gradually she found herself forced to retreat by the sheer weight of numbers. Backed
up against the broom closet, her sword strokes inevitably grew shorter and weaker as
her assailants pressed their attack.
She’d always envisioned herself perishing on some grand quest of Jon-Tom’s, or at
worst while comfortably retired amongst the widows of the local Thieves and
Cutpurses Rest Home. Not like this, not in her own kitchen, brought down by a
conjuration she’d had no part in and couldn’t comprehend. What had happened to the
carefully crafted home protection and insulation spell that usually shielded her
sanctum from nefarious external influences? Admittedly it was primarily designed to
vacuum and deodorize, but it should have restricted the access of demons, gargoyles,
and their ilk as well. That it had failed so spectacularly suggested an even more
powerful sorcery was at work.
Her hair tousled about her, housedress in tatters, she continued to cut and thrust with
the sword. It was just like old times, except that her arms weren’t nearly as responsive