
"Longer than it was." I rubbed a hand over my head; and so it was, all of possibly two
inches now, temporarily lying close against my skull, though I expected the annoying wave to
start showing up any day. Del had said the blue tattoos were invisible, save for a slight rim
along the hairline. But that would be hidden, too, once my hair grew out all the way.
"I don't mean you look like a boy," she clarified. "You look like you. Just—less used."
Hoolies, that sounded good. "Define for me 'less used.' "
"By the sun." She shrugged. "By life."
"That wouldn't be wishful thinking, would it?"
Del blinked. "What?"
"There are fifteen-plus years between us, after all. Maybe if I didn't look so much older—"
"Oh, Tiger, don't be ridiculous! I've told you I don't care about that."
I dropped into a squat. The knees didn't pop. I bounced up again. Still no complaints.
Del frowned. "What was that about?"
"Feeling younger." I grinned crookedly. "Or maybe it's just my wishful thinking."
Del bent and picked up her stick. "Then let's go again."
"What, you want to try and wear down the old man? Make him yield on the basis of sheer
exhaustion?"
"You never yield to exhaustion," she pointed out, "in anything you do."
"I yielded to your point of view about women having worth in other areas besides bed."
"Because I was right."
As usual, with us, the banter covered more intense emotions. I didn't really blame Del for
being concerned. Here we were on our way back to the South, where I had been born and lost;
where I had been raised a slave; where I had eventually found my calling as a sword-dancer,
hired to fight battles for other men as a means of settling disputes—but also where I had
eventually voluntarily cut myself off from all the rites, rituals, and honor of the Alimat-trained
sword-dancer's closely prescribed system.
I had done it in a way some might describe as cowardly, but at the time it was the right
choice. The only choice. I'd made it without thinking twice about it, because I didn't have to; I
knew very well what the cost would be. I was an outcast now, a blade without a name. I had
declared elaii-ali-ma, rejecting my status as a seventh-level sword-dancer, which meant I was
fair game to any honor-bound sword-dancer who wanted to challenge me.
Of course, that challenge wouldn't necessarily come in a circle, where victory is not
achieved by killing your opponent—well, usually; there are always exceptions—but by simply
winning. By being better.
For years I had been better than everyone else in the South, though a few held out for Abbu
Bensir (including Abbu Bensir), but I couldn't claim that any longer. I wasn't a sword-dancer. I
was just a man a lot of other men wanted to kill.
And Del figured it would be a whole lot easier to kill me now than before.
She was probably right, too.
So here I was aboard a ship bound for the South, going home, Accompanied by a stubborn
stud-horse and an equally stubborn woman, sailing toward what more romantic types, privy to
my dream, might describe as my destiny. Me, I just knew it was time, dream or no dream. We'd
gone off chasing some cockamamie idea of me being Skandic, a child of an island two week's
sail from the South, but that was done now. I was, by all appearances—literally as well as
figuratively—Skandic, a child of that island, but things hadn't worked out. Sure, it was the