the question: Is This IT? By "it," they meant the Holocaust, the Four
Horsemen, the Final War, the Extinction of Mankind. It was a tough question.
Nobody wanted to commit too strongly either way, remembering the egg on the
faces of so many who cried doom at the outbreak of the Fizzle War. But all the
nets promised to be the first with the news.
That it had resulted from a malfunction surprised no one. The strike by
the Norman Territories against the Burmese Empire was obviously an error.
Neither combatant had any grievances against the other. But shortly after the
failure of the MCM in Wyoming, the Burmese had plenty of reason for anger.
The Moroni VI satellite, in near-Earth orbit, made its move somewhere
over Tibet, mirved fifty miles above Singapore, and began evasive action. All
six warheads strewed decoys in their wakes, and were preceded by twenty
similar but harmless mirvs intended to soak up the ABM's and lasers. The
Burmese computer barely got a glimpse of the onrushing horde. It decided the
Moroni VI was going for ground-bursts at a minimum of twelve targets. About
the time it reached that decision, the ten-megaton warheads exploded thirty
miles over the province of New South Wales. The resulting burst of gamma
radiation produced an electromagnetic pulse, or EMP, that blew out every
telephone, vid-screen, transformer, and electric sheep-shearer from Woomera to
Sydney, and caused the sewage system in Melbourne to run backward.
The Burmese Potentate was a headstrong man. His advisors pointed out
that the EMP tactic should have been followed by invasion if Salt Lake City
really intended to go to war. But he had been in Melbourne at the time of the
attack. He was not amused.
In two hours, Provo, Utah was radioactive rubble, and the Bonneville
Fun-city vanished.
It was not enough. The Potentate had never been able to distinguish one
Occidental religion from another, so he fired a missile at Milano, The Vatican
States, for good measure.
The Council of Popes convened in St. Peter's. Not the old one, which had
been torn down to make way for an apartment block, but the new one, in Sicily,
which was glass and plastic. For five days they conferred until the Spokespope
emerged to announce the Papal Bull as a Gabriel warhead fell toward Bangkok.
What Pope Elaine did not announce was another sense-of-the-meeting
resolution that had been summed up by vice-Pope Watanabe.
"If we're going to hit the B.E.," Watanabe had said, "why not
'accidentally' send one to those fuckers in the B.C.R.?"
So shortly after Bangkok was flattened by a one-megaton airburst, a
second Gabriel fell on the outskirts of Potchefstroom, Boer Communist
Republic. That it had been targetted for Johannesburg hardly seemed to matter.
So WWV, as it soon came to be abbreviated, lurched along in a back-and-
forth exchange with everyone waiting for one nation or another to launch that
all-out strike which, at county fairs, carnivals, and fireworks displays, is
known as the blow-off. It would come as a solid wave of missiles aimed at
hardened military sites, population centers, and natural resources, and would
be accompanied by plagues and deadly chemicals. At the time the war started,
there were fifty-eight nations, religions, political parties, or other
affinity groups capable of unleashing such an attack.
Instead, the bombs kept dropping at the rate of about one every week. At
first it looked like a free-for-all. But in three months alliances stabilized
along surprisingly classical lines. The newsnets began calling one side the
Capitalist Pigs and the other the Commie Rats. The Normans and the Burmese,
oddly enough, ended up on the same side, while the Vatican was on the other.
There were more vermin-the newscasters had names for them al-who would
occasionally step up and kick a giant in the shin. But by and large the war
soon came to resemble one of those contests Russians used to be so fond of
during the First Atomic War. Aslosh with vodka, they would take turns slapping