
AN ICELAND FISHERMAN
9
crack, of a light pale yellow." He felt a sadness unspeakable, a sense of
desolate solitude, of abandonment, of exile. He ran back in haste to
unburden his soul upon his mother's bosom, and, as he says, "to seek
consolation with her for a thousand anticipated, indescribable pangs,
which had wrung my heart at the sight of that vast green, deep expanse."
A poet of the sea had been born, and his genius still bears a trace of the
shudder of fear experienced that evening by Pierre Loti the little child.
Loti was born not far from the ocean, in Saintonge, of an old Huguenot
family which had numbered many sailors among its members. While yet a
mere child he thumbed the old Bible which formerly, in the days of
persecution, had been read only with cautious secrecy; and he perused the
vessel's ancient records wherein mariners long since gone had noted,
almost a century before, that "the weather was good," that "the wind was
favourable," and that "doradoes or gilt-heads were passing near the ship."
He was passionately fond of music. He had few comrades, and his
imagination was of the exalted kind. His first ambition was to be a
minister, then a missionary; and finally he decided to become a sailor. He
wanted to see the world, he had the curiosity of things; he was inclined to
search for the strange and the unknown; he must seek that sensation,
delightful and fascinating to complex souls, of betaking himself off, of
withdrawing from his own world, of breaking with his own mode of life,
and of creating for himself voluntary regrets.
He felt in the presence of Nature a species of disquietude, and
experienced therefrom sensations which might almost be expressed in
colours: his head, he himself states, "might be compared to a camera,
filled with sensitive plates." This power of vision permitted him to
apprehend only the appearance of things, not their reality; he was
conscious of the nothingness of nothing, of the dust of dust. The remnants
of his religious education intensified still more this distaste for the external
world.
He was wont to spend his summer vacation in the south of France, and
he preserved its warm sunny impressions. It was only later that he became
acquainted with Brittany. She inspired him at first with a feeling of
oppression and of sadness, and it was long before he learned to love her.