
hands chopping at the air as though he were sculpting, "I may not be the richest man in the world, but I
know damned well what I'm doing with my life. How many others can say that, huh? So I don't win the
Nobel Prize, so I don't sell to the movies or TV ... so what? Who cares?" He had laughed, raucously, richly.
"I got what I got, Josh, and that's all that matters."
The man was, Josh had to admit, personable enough, and had a proverbial beauty for a daughter; so he
listened politely to the stories of the agonies that eventually transformed themselves to books, and drank his
cheap liquor, and laughed at his jokes, and spent as much time as he could stealing glances at the woman.
In December Murdoch brought him out to dinner, none too subtly leaving him alone with his daughter.
But there had been an awkwardness he had been unable to surmount, and Murdoch had returned from the
kitchen, scowling as if he had been eavesdropping at the door.
In January he came to the office.
"What do you have against my Andy?" the man had demanded.
Felicity was at lunch; Josh was too surprised to speak.
"Huh? What's the matter with her, Josh? Don't you like her? She's a good girl, a fine woman, I want you
to get to know her better." There had been no leer, no wink. "She's a good girl," he said again. Softly. "A
very good girl. It isn't right she should be out there all alone."
"Don," he'd said, just as softly, "what happened to her mother?"
Murdoch sighed and slapped his hands to his sides. "Died ten years, out in Arizona. We went there for
her health, the clean air and all that. It helped her lungs, but it didn't help her heart."
"Oh. Hey, I'm sorry."
Murdoch waved the apology away. "It's all right, I'm over it. But I tell you, Josh, I'm not all that sure
Andy is, you know what I mean? She's got to have people around her, and nothing I do will make her live
on her own." He slapped his chest, his stomach, yanked at his hair untouched by grey. "I'm healthy as a
horse, and she worries about me. Me, one of the greatest unknown writers in the known universe." He
laughed again. "Josh, do me a favor and take her out once in a while, all right?"
Josh had been dumbfounded; a father who was trying to give his little girl away? To a stranger?
Murdoch suddenly lost his bluster, became nerv-ous, almost jittery. "Do it for me, will you? She's driving
me crazy out there with all her fool help."
No matter how often he replayed the scene, Josh could not remember saying yes or nodding. But he
knew he must have given the man some sort of sign, because the next thing he knew his hand was being
pumped and Murdoch was himself again.
"You won't regret it, Josh. I promise you that. She's got college, she's got smarts, she won't embarrass
you or any of the rest of the damned snobs in this town. I tell you something, pal—I never would have
come out here if I didn't have to. Give me the city anytime, that's what I say. Christ, it's miserable out
here!"
"Hey," he'd said, suddenly defensive, "it isn't that bad, you know."
"Bad enough. Bad enough. Damn, I hate waiting." He'd stopped, frowned. "Wish I could just snap my
fingers and the book'd be done, you know what I mean?"
Felicity had walked in, then, and Murdoch had left.
And Josh had taken Andrea to dinner, to movies, on rides through the country he had always thought
lovely. Not often, but enough. And now he was wondering what he'd gotten himself into.
Just like the plow. Spending every available daylight hour covering himself with mud, dead grass, and
stinging gouges from thorns that were plastered over with his name. He punched at the air. Only two things
kept him going through this miserable weather: his pride, and the idea he would let the old woman down if
he gave up so soon. It's only been two weeks, he reminded himself again; only two weeks. Give your-self a
break.
He stopped at the car for a long, pensive moment.
Here. Damnit, it had to be somewhere near here, if it was here at all. Damnit, it felt right. The land
looked right. A farm other than Murdoch's had been here before—the age of the newer trees and the
unmistakable signs of a land-clearing forest fire made it almost a certainty. Here, goddamnit, he knew it.
Knew it so much he had already spent hours past sunset checking through Oxrun histories, maps from
Town Hall, diaries held at the college; tall-tales and folklore and old surveyor's plots. And though none of
them had aided him directly, neither had they been able to prove him unarguably wrong.
Not only was it depressing, it was frustrating as hell.
He didn't need this. Not now. Especially not now.
He shook his head sharply and yanked open the car door . . . and threw up his hands when something
leapt at his eyes.