
down, and other fools could fly the death-traps around the Solar System.
Glamor, he thought-it was the glamor that sucked in the kids when they were young and starry-eyed. The glamor of
the far place, of the wilderness of space, of the white eyes of the stars watching in that wilderness - the glamor of the
engine-song and of the chill white metal knifing through the blackness and the loneliness of the emptiness, and the
few cubic feet of courage and defiance that thumbed its nose at that emptiness.
But there was no glamor. There was brutal work and everlasting watchfulness and awful sickness, the terrible fear
that listened for the stutter in the drive, for the ping against the metal hide, for any one of the thousand things that
could happen out in space.
He picked up his wallet off the bedside table and put it in his pocket and went out into the hall and down the rickety
stairs to the crumbling, lopsided porch outside.
And the greenness waited for him, the unrelenting, bilious green of Earth. It was a thing to gag at, to steel oneself
against, an indecent and abhorrent color for anyone to look at. The grass was green and all the plants and every single
tree. There was no place outdoors and few indoors where one could escape from it, and when one looked at it too
long, it seemed to pulse and tremble with a hidden life.
The greenness, and the brightness of the sun, and the sapping beat - these were things of Earth that it was hard to
bear. The light one could get away from, and the heat one could somehow ride along with - but the green was always
there.
He went down the steps, fumbling in his pocket for a cigarette. He found a crumpled package and in it one crumpled
cigarette. He put it between his lips and threw the pack away and stood at the gate, trying to make up his mind.
But it was a gesture only, this hardening of his mind, for he knew what he would do. There was nothing else to do.
He'd done it day after day for more weeks than he cared to count, and he'd do it again today and tomorrow and
tomorrow, until his cash ran out.
And after that, he wondered, what?
Get a job and try to strike a bargain with his situation? Try to save against the day when he could buy passage back
to Mars - for they'd surely let him ride the ships even if they wouldn't let him run them. But, he told himself, he'd
figured that one out. It would take twenty years to save enough, and he had no twenty years.
He lit the cigarette and went tramping down the street, and even through the cigarette, he could smell the hated
green.
Ten blocks later, he reached the far edge of the spaceport. There was a ship. He stood for a moment looking at it
before he went into the shabby restaurant to buy himself some breakfast.
There was a ship, he thought, and that was a hopeful sign. Some days there weren't any, some days three or four.
But there was a ship today and it might be the one.
One day, he told himself, he'd surely find the ship out there that would take him home - a ship with a captain so
desperate for an engineer that he would overlook the entry in the book.
But even as he thought it, be knew it for a lie - a lie he told himself each day. Perhaps to justify his coming here each
day to check at the hiring hall, to lie to keep his hope alive, to keep his courage up. A lie that made it even barely
possible to face the bleak, warm room and the green of Earth.
He went into the restaurant and sat down on a stool.
The waitress came to take his order. "Cakes again?" she asked.
He nodded. Pancakes were cheap and filling and he had to make his money last.
"You'll find a ship today," said the waitress. "I have a feeling you will."
"Perhaps I will," he said, without believing it.
"I know just how you feel," the waitress told him. "I know how awful it can be. I was homesick once myself, the first