Piers Anthony - Xanth 22 - Zombie Lover

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This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are either

fictitious or are used fictitiously.

ZOMBIE LOVER

This book is printed on acid-free paper. Map by Jael

A Tor Book

Published by Tom Doherty Associates, Inc.

175 Fifth Avenue

New York, NY 10010

Tor Books on the World Wide Web: http://www.tor.com

Tor® is a registered trademark of Tom Doherty Associates. Inc. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-

Pubiication Data

Anthony, Piers.

Zombie lover / Piers Anthony. — 1st ed.

p, cm.

"A Tom Doherty Associates book." ISBN 0-312-86690-9 (acid-free paper) I. Title.

PS3551.N73Z43 1998 8LT.54—dc21

98-23526 CIP

First Edition: October 1998

Printed in the United States of America

098765432 I

ontents

Prolog...................................................................... 9

1. BLACK DREAM ...................................................... 11

2. WE THREE KINGS ................................................... 30

3. SOLITAIRE FOR Two................................................ 50

4. DREAM CHASE ...................................................... 70

5. GOOD MAGICIAN ................................................... 88

6. WORLDS BEYOND KEN ............................................ 107

7. ROAD TO THE ISLES................................................ 129

8. ISLES OF WO ...................................................... 152

9. SERIOUS SEDUCTION............................................... 170

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10. GALS GALORE ...................................................... 193

11. ISLE OF WOLVES...................................................213

U. IMPROMPTU INGENUE..............................................235

13. LOVE'S LABORS .................................................... 252

8 Contents

14 NOTABIL NUPTIALS

Epilog

Author s Note

269

293

295

Prolo

he approached the Good Magician's Castle on foot an obscure woman of indeterminate age in a

flowing robe, steadying herself with a staff She looked neither lovely nor regal, without being

deficient in either quality She earned a large book in the crook of her left elbow

The castle was obviously not expecting visitors The drawbridge was up, laundry was hanging from a

window, and the moat monster was snoozing

The woman was unperturbed She touched the surface of the water with the tip of her staff, then

stepped onto the moat She walked across, her slippers denting but not penetrating the surface

Small ripples traveled out across the moat

The moat monster woke with a start as a ripple gently lifted his nose He blinked then coiled into

action He raised his head high, opened his jaws, and oriented on the figure He inhaled, ready to

breathe tierce water vapor on the trespasser

"Relax, Souffle," she said

The monster blinked, then sank back down into his snooze without even a snort

The woman reached the inner bank and then the front door It was locked closed She touched it with

her staff, and it opened She walked into the castle There was no clamor of discovery, whoever else

was in the castle remained unaware of the intrusion

She made her wiy through the dusky recesses, mounted the

10 PIERS ANTHONY

crooked stairs, and walked into the dingy office. There was Good Magician Humfrey, poring over his

huge archaic tome.

"Isn't it about time?1' she inquired.

The gnomelike man's near ear twitched. He raised his head and focused a bleary eye on her. One or

two synapses connected. "Oh, hello, Clio," he said.

"And a similar greeting to you, Humfrey," the Muse of History responded. "Now I'm sure you have

the matters well in hand, but thought I should verify the details, purely as a courtesy. I do have

an interest in the cases."

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The Good Magician pondered, evidently sorting through his voluminous but dusty memory, until

several more synapses fell into line. "I shall attend to it."

"Of course." Clio was too polite to suggest that he might have forgotten the matter. "I'm sure it

will be a fine occasion. Are the invitations in order?"

Humfrey looked blank.

Clio gave the shadowy ceiling a you-men-are-all-alike glance. "Invitations," she repeated. "How

else do you suppose the participants will know about the main event?"

"Invitations," he agreed, finally getting it. But his aspect seemed to be a trifle deficient in

competence.

"Assign Jenny Elf to do them."

A rheumy eyeball widened in dull surprise. "But—"

"Who else?" she inquired rhetorically. "She's surely competent. Now do you have any proper notion

of the other assignments?"

Humfrey started to turn the pages of the vasty old tome before him.

"Forget the Book of Answers," Clio snapped. "This needs to be more flexible than that. Ask your

Designated Wife to make them. She will have proper taste and finesse."

"Wife," he agreed, relieved.

The Muse of History turned, about to leave, then paused. "I trust I will see you there."

Humfrey looked as if he had swallowed a stink horn. He hated to go out in public. But now he had

no choice. "Yes."

Clio completed her turn and stepped out of the dismal study. Only then did she allow a small smile

to hover in the vicinity of her lips. A person who did not know better might have supposed that

she enjoyed discomfiting the notorious Good Magician.

BLACK DREAM

reanna felt fortunate. It was partly her appearance, which was filling out nicely: she had

lustrous black hair to her waist, and glowing green eyes. Her dark skin fairly shone. That was

because she was a bright healthy girl of the Black Wave, and proud of her heritage. She should

really be something, she thought, when she finally turned sixteen.

She turned away from the mirror pond and looked for a blackberry pie to eat before dawn. And that

was the main thing: alone among the teens of her village, she had a magic talent. Normally only a

baby delivered in Xanth had magic, but she was special. She blessed the day she had discovered it,

for it had changed her life. She had come to the Land of Xanth with her Wave six years ago when

she was nine, and thought she would never have magic. How wonderfully wrong that had turned out to

be!

Her talent was to see in blackness. That was why she now went about by night, and slept during the

day. It was just so much more interesting at night, when other human folk were sleeping, and the

weird creatures of darkness were abroad.

Oh, yes, there was danger. But she had obtained a safety spell that warned her of any direct

threat to her tender flesh, and that was enough. She hoped. She hadn't renewed it recently, so the

spell might be fading. She was able to move quickly and silently and lose herself in the night,

foiling most monsters. She also had a sharp dagger, which she hoped she would never have to use as

other than a threat.

12 PIERS ANTHONY

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Meanwhile the lure of the mysteries of darkness drew her to ever farther explorations.

There were no pie trees close by, but she did spy a tart bush. Tarts were a bit sharp on the

tongue, but would do. She picked a black raspberry tart and bit into it, and it was fine. She

found a coffee tree with a cup of black coffee, and that was fine too. At home she wasn't allowed

to drink coffee yet, but that was yet another adventure of going out on her own: no one told her

what not to do. Her folks were so dull that they could see only mundane things, despite living in

a magic realm now. They would need special magic glasses to see most of the magic of Xanth.

Breanna really didn't miss Mundania. Xanth was so much more interesting. Oh, there were dangers,

but they were mostly magical, instead of dreary things like robbers and drunk drivers. She might

have liked to have some chewing gum, but here it was as apt to chew the person as to be chewed.

She saw what looked like a barrister bloom. Maybe if she wore its flower, it would enable her to

argue her case better at home. It had a nice daisy-like flower. But as she touched it, something

awkward happened. She jumped back. Oh, now she saw that it was a different plant, a bare aster.

She wouldn't want to wear one of those flowers. She came to a river that seemed a bit too wide and

deep to wade across. Fortunately there were big banana plants, or plantains, growing by its banks,

with the biggest fruits she had seen. Magic could be very good for plants. So she grabbed onto an

old plantain and managed to haul it down. She wedged it open and scooped out the remnant of its

pulp. Now she had a banana boat. She used an old stem as a paddle, and moved across the water.

Another craft came floating down the stream. It was small, and had two hulls, and several cats

were on it. Oh—a catamaran. It figured. It had a sail, but one cat was busily shredding it with

its claws. Then the cat spied Breanna, and dived down out of sight, terrified. That one would be

called Fray D. Cat, she was sure.

She landed, and saw a big dog house with a small pup tent beside it. That too figured: big dog.

little dog. Things tended to be literal, in Xanth.

She saw a bright rift forming in the east, and realized that it was the first crack of dawn. Night

was over, and soon light would spill

ZOMBIE LOVER 13

through the crack and inundate the region, flooding it with day. So it was time for her to sleep.

She loved her talent, but it did have the small disadvantage of making daylight uncomfortably

bright for her. She acclimatized when she had to, but preferred not to bother. Also, she got

tired, after being active all night. So now she simply slept in the daytime, when away from home.

Unfortunately she wasn't sleepy yet. Oh—because of that coffee. She should have remembered that it

had a mild wake-up spell. That was why her folks didn't let her drink it: they said she was enough

of a handful by day, and they didn't need to have her active by night too. How little did they

know! But though she hated to admit it, their rule would have helped her in this case. How could

she get her rest? She looked around. She saw a large dried fish mounted on a pole. Birds were

coming in to sit on it. That was a perch; it was a favorite resting place for birds. But she was

no bird.

There was a commotion, and several small metallic objects ran by. They looked like keys for doors,

still new and shiny. Oh—those would be latchkey kids, running home. As she herself should be

doing, if she weren't too ornery to give up her adventure. She saw them charge up to a big block

marked WRITER. What were they doing around a writer's block? They climbed up on top of it, where

there was a board. They settled down comfortably on that board, each little key evidently having

its own spot. When every key was in place, the block put down wooden pegs and walked away.

"Oh, I get it," Breanna said. "The key board unlocks the writer's block." But her problem wasn't

being blocked, but needing to get some sleep.

She saw a spreading tree whose branches might offer a decent place to be. But then she recognized

it as a sycamore, and the last thing she wanted was to get more and more sick.

Then she remembered something she had seen nearby; dark glasses. They were supposed to have a

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spell to put folk to sleep. So she walked back to the spectacle bush she had passed recently and

checked it over. Sure enough, one of its offerings was a handsome dark pair. And, conveniently

close, was an open shelter with what looked like a comfortable bed under a pleasant canopy. Nobody

was using it, so she would borrow it for a few hours.

She lay down on the bed, put on the dark glasses, and closed her

14 PIERS ANTHONY

eyes Immediately she felt the magic taking hold, and sank into a lovely dark slumber

Suddenly Breanna couldn't breathe, something was covering her mouth and squishing her nose She

struggled, reaching wildly with her arms—and discovered that a head was resting on her face It was

a man In fact, he was kissing her1

She grabbed him by the ears and heaved him off her innocent lips She tried to scream, but first

had to inhale, and in the time it took to do that she was sitting up so violently that her dark

glasses fell off Blinding day assaulted her eyes, and she had to squeeze them tightly closed When

she shut her eyes, her mouth shut too, stifling her scream She had never thought to practice

screaming with her eyes

closed

By then she realized that maybe a scream was not in order Who was this man who had taken such

advantage of her1? It might be better to find out before she took further action. After all, men

did have their points, and it behooved a girl not to throw them away carelessly

She squinted, letting only a little light in The man was standing there, a somewhat hazy outline

He didn't look dangerous at the moment. "Who are you9" she demanded "Why did you molest me9"

"I am King Xeth," he replied in a somewhat scratchy voice "I kissed you awake "

"I know that1 What made you think I didn't want to sleep in peace7" She was irritable, because of

her rude awakening from slumber Her systems were not yet back on track

"You are in the Pavilion of Love " His speech was slightly slurred, but she could make it out Her

vision was improving as her eyes acclimatized to the daylight

"The what9"

He pointed to a sign beside the bed It said PAVILION OF i OVE

Breanna drew a blank "What's that7"

"When a woman wants to marry, she sleeps in the Pavilion ot Love," he explained "Only a man of

good appearance, character, and breeding can enter If he chooses her. he kisses her awake I was so

glad to find a sleeping beauty instead of a sleeping bag "

Things were beginning to come together, but not in a way that reassured her "But I'm not ready to

marry anyone1" she protested "I'm only fifteen "

ZOMBIE LOVER 15

"1 am thirty," he responded "I love your lustrous black hair and glowing green eyes I am sure you

will make a good wife "

Breanna realized that she had blundered into real mischief "It was a mistake I didn't see the sign

I was just resting I can't marry you " She got off the bed and began sidling away

"I will marry you and make you queen of the zombies," he said "You are young and healthy and fully

alive, so it will be a long time before you rot''

Breanna wanted nothing so much as to get well away from here, but this made her pause

involuntarily "Queen of what9"

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file:///F|/rah/Piers%20Anthony/Anthony,%20Piers%20-%20Xanth%2022%20-%20Zombie%20Lover.txtThisisaworkoffiction.Allthecharactersandeventsportrayedinthisnovelareeitherfictitiousorareusedfictitiously.ZOMBIELOVERCopyright©1998byPiersAnthonyJacobAllrightsreserved,includingtherighttoreproducethishook,orp...

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