Frankowski, Leo - Stargard 7 - Conrad's Time Machine

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Conrad's Time Machine

by Leo A. Frankowski

This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this

book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely

coincidental.

thereof in any form.

A Baen Books Original

Baen Publishing Enterprises

P.O. Box 1403

Riverdale, NY 10471

www.baen.com

ISBN: 0-7434-3557-5

Cover art by David Mattingly

First printing, September 2002

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Distributed by Simon & Schuster

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

Production by Windhaven Press, Auburn, NH

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my new wife, Marina.

She is beautiful, intelligent, warm, loving, and

more than any man could possibly deserve.

Acknowledgements

This story had been rattling around for so long that virtually

every person that I have ever known has read parts of it

and made useful suggestions. I've gotten feedback from

hundreds and hundreds of people, and I can't

possibly give them all the credit that they deserve.

Dave Grossman gave me the idea for the ending,

but the rest must remain unnamed.

Baen Books by Leo Frankowski

A Boy and His Tank

Fata Morgana

Conrad's Time Machine

Forward

Many of my books were a long time getting finished, but unless I live to be a

hundred, this one is the record setter.

I was in high school in the fifties when I asked my self the classic science

fiction question, "What if?" In this case, it was what if time travel were

really possible? I wasn't concerned with the paradoxes that other writers had

explored to more than completion. I was wondering what else you could do with

it.

My first attempts at writing were pretty amateurish. I didn't know much about

writing, but having cut my teeth on Robert Heinlein juveniles, I knew good

writing from bad. Wisely, I kept my smudged pages to myself. Anyway, I was too

busy flunking out of Senior English to have much time for anything else. Back

then, I had some truly wretched English teachers, who forced the poetry and

Shakespeare that I had loved down my throat so hard that I soon hated it and

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him—and them. I eventually regained my love for it and him, but never for them.

It never occurred to me that I would end up as a professional writer.

Not when I had some really great science teachers, who knew their subjects and

taught them well. A career in science, technology, and/or maybe business seemed

to be my obvious life path.

Still, the thoughts kept on welling up, like bubbles in a cesspool. If you could

move something, maybe even yourself, from one position in the space-time

continuum to any other position, then you would immediately have effectively

infinite wealth and power. You could always win the lotteries, always buy the

best stock on the market, always bet on the winning horse.

So, with that going for you, what would you do with your life, aside from

getting filthy rich? Well? No quick answer? I didn't have one either. It took me

forty-three years to work it out, and even then it took the help of my good

friend, Lieutenant Colonel David Grossman to finally give me a good ending for

the story.

I hope you enjoy it.

—Leo Frankowski

Tver, Russia

2002

CHAPTER I

Sad Leavings

The war in Vietnam was heating up, half the people in the country were smoking

dope, and the Flower Children were sprouting peace and free love all over the

place.

I was only vaguely aware of it.

It was 1968, and I was leaving.

The Air Force never said goodbye, but I didn't love them either. I'd made a few

good friends in the service, but Chris was in the guard house again, SelfCheck

had been discharged the week before, Crazy Mormon was on leave, and Johnny

Sleewa was on duty at the time. No one was there to see me off. I finished up my

paperwork, gathered my few belongings, and walked past the dead trees in front

of the squadron area.

They were my one lasting accomplishment in the United States Air Force.

It happened like this. Last fall, I'd gotten a whole weekend off, and I figured

to make it with this girl I knew in Toronto, which was a little outside of the

hundred mile limit they had us on. I'd put a fictitious address on the official

checkout sheet, but left the chick's phone number with Johnny, so if something

really important happened, he could get in touch with me.

Around one-thirty on a Saturday morning, I'd just gotten to her place when a

sergeant phoned. He asked for me, and said that I was scheduled for "special

duty" at eight that morning. He didn't know what it was all about, but I'd

better be there.

Well, I thought it must have been important or Johnny wouldn't have handed out

the number. See, I was one of only three techs who were trained to fix the Alert

Transmit Console, and it was about the only piece of equipment at The Notch that

wasn't duplicated.

The machine had a keyboard on it that was used to send messages like "fire all

of your missiles," but it wasn't a QWERTY. The keys were arranged in

alphabetical order.

None of the officers could type, since among our masters, such abilities were

considered unmanly.

The ATC had two Chevrolet ignition keys, mounted ten feet apart, so that it took

two men to operate it, at least from the front. They used it for calling

practice alerts, scrambling the bombers, and starting wars.

The controls inside the back of the ATC were a different matter. Once, Chris got

to playing with the buttons back there and managed to scramble the 99th Bomb

Wing. Those guys were over Hudson Bay, fueled up and with bombs ready, awaiting

orders from the President, before anybody else knew they were gone.

Nobody got on Chris's case for it, though, since none of the brass would believe

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that an airman had enough brains to pull a stunt like that. Me, I knew that

Chris had an IQ in the 160's, but it would never occur to them to ask me about

it. To them, I was just another dumb trooper, too.

What got Chris thrown into the guardhouse this time was sweeping dirt under the

floor. Not under the carpet, you understand, but actually under the floor. Chris

was very strong, and he had a penchant for doing things the hard way.

Well, what with Chris in the guardhouse and me gone for the weekend, that only

left Johnny Quest qualified to work on the machine. If something happened to

Johnny and the ATC went west, SAC's third alternate Combat Operations Center

would be out of business, and you never could tell when they might want to start

a war.

And while I hated the Air Force, I still loved my country, so on the girl's

phone, I admitted to the sergeant that I was me.

I had to turn around and leave. I tried to kiss the chick goodbye, but she

wasn't the understanding sort. She screamed a lot about my wasting her whole

weekend and told me not to come back.

That night, I drove all the way back to Massachusetts without sleeping and got

on base with seven spare minutes to change into fatigues, report, and find out

what was happening.

What it was, was that the colonel had decided that the squadron area needed some

beautification.

Having a full bird colonel in command of a squadron was strange, but then a nine

hundred man squadron was pretty weird, too. The guy had been a hot fighter

jockey during World War II. He'd made all his rank during his first three years

in the service, and hadn't been promoted since. This made him an unhappy man,

and he didn't lead a happy squadron.

Boots were new troops who had finished tech school and were now idle for three

months, awaiting their security clearances before they were allowed to work on

the equipment that they had just spent a year learning how to fix. Why these

clearances weren't obtained while they were still in school, saving fifteen

percent of their useful careers, was one of those little unexplained military

mysteries.

Our colonel's beautification plan was that I should drive ten of the boots out

into the nearby woods, have them dig up nine likely looking trees, and drive the

trees and boots back. We would then plant the trees about the squadron area at

the points specified on the enclosed sketch by that evening. Why we couldn't do

this during the week, when all of those guys were idle, or doing useless

make-work, was also not explained. Neither was why this qualified as an

emergency sufficient to pull me in from a weekend pass, but then the Air Force

never bothered to explain things to an airman.

So I did it, making the boots do all the work.

Then I showered up, and, too tired to sleep, I went to a blind pig hidden below

its neon sign in the basement of a Baptist church just outside the gate.

Sensibly, I got stinking drunk while mulling over the injustices of the world. I

was still unhappy when I returned to the barracks at three in the morning. The

colonel wasn't available to hear my suggestions, so I ripped the newly planted

trees out by the roots and threw them halfway to the parking lot.

Feeling much better, I found my room and went to sleep.

I'm bigger than most people.

When I got up late on Sunday afternoon, the sun was setting, somebody had

replanted the trees, and the girl in Toronto wouldn't talk to me on the phone.

It was thus reasonable to get drunk again, and wandering back, I came across the

replanted trees.

I ripped them all out again, and this time, using a hammer-throw technique,

sailed one of them all the way to the parking lot, narrowly missing somebody's

fifty-seven Chevy.

The same thing happened Monday night, too, since by then somebody had once more

replanted the trees. Actually, it happened almost every night for about a month,

and after a while it got so that I didn't even have to get drunk first. I had

found a certain relief from tension and a deep-seated satisfaction in ripping up

those trees and giving them a good toss.

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The strange thing is that nobody ever saw me do it, or if they did, they didn't

talk about it, but then most people don't realize that I'm really a very gentle

person, if you give me half a chance.

In a month or so, I was pretty sure that the trees were dead, what with the way

the bark was falling off, and after that I left them alone.

That had been six months ago and they were still out there, because the colonel

hadn't given any orders about them. Likely, he hadn't noticed.

My mark on the Air Force. Nine dead trees.

I carried my belongings to the garage outside of the gate and settled up with

the owner of the place.

Motorcycles weren't allowed on base. They had the wrong image by Air Force

standards, although they were allowed up at the Notch, since civilians weren't

allowed within sight of the place. They'd give you a sticker for one to let you

past the Elite Guard, through the gate, and to the small parking lot. From there

it was a short walk past more guards, past the thick steel blast doors, and into

the generator-packed tunnel that led deep into the hollowed out mountain.

I packed up, kick started her with one hand and rode off. I never put a foot on

the kick starter, my theory being that if hand cranking wouldn't do it, she

needed a tune up. Electric starters, of course, are for wimps.

I stopped a hundred yards outside the Westover Field gate and peeled the SAC

sticker from the Wixom Ranger faring on my BMW R-60. I no longer felt any hate.

I just didn't want it there, defacing my bike, now that I was free.

I had joined the Air Force for many reasons. Without the money to finish my

degree, I needed a trade, and they'd promised to teach me electronics, the one

promise they'd actually kept. Mostly, though, I'd wanted have some adventures

while I was still young, to spread my wings a little, and see a bit of the

world.

Instead, they'd stuffed me under a mountain for the duration.

More than anything else, I'd wanted to do something . . . significant. To do

something important for my country, and maybe even for the world.

But there's nothing glorious about fixing machinery, especially when the stuff

almost never broke down. Ninety percent of my actual work time had been spent

cleaning floors, dusting equipment, and trying to look busy. Most of the rest of

it was spent filling out paperwork, an occupation that took six times longer

that the actual repair work did.

Mostly, I just sat there at a grey metal desk. The lighting was cool, efficient

fluorescent. The temperature was kept at a constant 70.4 degrees fahrenheit. The

relative humidity was at 48.6 percent The floors and ceilings were white. The

walls were beige. The equipment was a uniform dove grey, with small, unblinking

colored lights.

The silence was deafening.

You sat there for eight hours every day, forbidden to read anything but

technical manuals, staring at the walls and waiting for someone up in the cab to

tell the heavy bombers and all the land-based missiles to go and blow up the

world.

Off duty, you drank a lot, but it didn't help all that much.

My outfit had a suicide rate that was higher than the casualty rate of most

combat outfits in time of war. And it wasn't just the young kids who "took the

pipe." Old, balding sergeants would somehow get sort of listless, and then you'd

hear, unofficially, that they'd put a bullet behind their ear. You never heard a

word officially, of course, not even a notification of the funeral service. It

didn't fit the public image the Air Force wanted everybody to believe in.

Soon, you learned to hate the bastards.

The hate I'd felt for years for the organization that had kept me in useless

bondage had become a bigger part of my life than I had imagined, and now that

those bonds were finally parted, I was left with a vast hollowness inside of me.

I'd sold off almost everything I owned except my camping gear. Even my uniforms

were gone, which wasn't precisely legal since I was still supposed to be a

member of the inactive reserves. But I didn't have any family or anyplace to

send that junk for storage, so if I couldn't fit it into my saddlebags, I

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couldn't see keeping it.

I really didn't knowwhat I wanted, but I had a strong handle on some negatives.

Like I never wanted to see another officer again in my life. Mostly, I needed to

get way far away from petty rules and silly regulations and people who outranked

me, which in the Air Force was just about everybody.

I wasn't the kind who got promoted.

My BMW sort of automatically took me to the Mass Pike and just as naturally

pointed west, which was fine. There isn't much east of Massachusetts that you

can get to on a bike.

Well. My motorcycle was paid for. My savings and accumulated leave added up to

just under $2,000.00. It was springtime and figured I could live for six months

without the need to reconnect myself to society. Then, maybe I'd go back and

finish my degree. Or maybe not.

The Mass Pike dumped me onto the New York Thruway and a green-and-white sign

read "Rochester—231 Miles."

That got me thinking about Jim Hasenpfeffer, since he was working on his Ph.D.

at the University of Rochester and this naturally got me thinking about Ian

McTavish as well.

CHAPTER TWO

An Old Friend

Actually, we never did have much in common.

Take religion.

Now, I was a defrocked altar boy whose convictions varied between my normal

atheism to militant Agnosticism when I'm argued into a corner. Militant

agnostics say that they don't know anything about God,and you don't either,

dammit !

Ian was sort of conventional about religion. He always went to church on Sunday,

but he never much talked about it. I think he was about the only Christian I'd

ever met who was capable of being polite about religion. Or at least he was

always annoyingly polite with me.

And nobody ever had the slightest idea of what—if anything—Hasenpfeffer believed

in. He had this talent for sidestepping whatever he felt wouldn't be personally

rewarding.

Or take women.

I always tried like hell, but never got anywhere with them. Or even when I did

score, they usually didn't want to see me again the next day.

I'm pretty sure that Ian knew that women were necessary for the continuation of

the species, but he acted as though they were something that a rational man

shouldn't waste his time on.

Like, once I brought these two girls home because I didn't know what else to do

with them. They'd been hitchhiking in Detroit, a profoundly unsafe procedure.

They were very young, very pretty, and very stoned on God knew what. Ian was

sitting in an easy chair, reading myScientific American , when one of them

latched onto his leg. She was kneeling at his feet, babbling something about

running barefoot through the forest together, and sliding down rainbows.

Ian looked down from his article, said "Rainbows lack structural integrity," and

went back to reading. He wasn't queer. Just sort of indifferent.

Hasenpfeffer always seemed to have a woman within arm's reach. Even baching it

with us, I don't think he ever slept alone. They seemed to follow him like flies

going after shit.

Or, take politics.

Back then, I was an awfully liberal Libertarian and Ian was a conservative

Republican. I'm not sure, but I think Hasenpfeffer was pretty left wing.

Or take partying. I like to drink and sing a lot. Ian was an absolute teetotaler

about all drugs beyond coffee. And Hasenpfeffer did moderate amounts

ofeverything .

Or take sports. Or hobbies. Or damn nearly anything.

Hell, I'm six foot six and Ian was five one with his elevator shoes on.

Yet when we met in the freshman registration line at U of M, we hit it off

pretty quick. Hasenpfeffer had found this huge three-bedroom apartment and was

looking for two people to share expenses.

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