ONE
His head unnaturally aching, Barney Mayerson woke to find himself in an unfamiliar bedroom in
an unfamiliar conapt building. Beside him, the covers up to her bare, smooth shoulders, an unfamiliar
girl slept on, breathing lightly through her mouth, her hair a tumble of cotton-like white.
I'll bet I'm late for work, he said to himself, slid from the bed, and tottered to a standing position
with eyes shut, keeping himself from being sick. For all he knew he was several hours' drive from his
office; perhaps he was not even in the United States. However he was on Earth; the gravity that
made him sway was familiar and normal.
And there in the next room by the sofa a familiar suitcase, that of his psychiatrist Dr. Smile.
Barefoot, he padded into the living room, and seated himself by the suitcase; he opened it, clicked
switches, and turned on Dr. Smile. Meters began to register and the mechanism hummed. "Where
am I?" Barney asked it. "And how far am I from New York?" That was the main point. He saw now
a clock on the wall of the apt's kitchen; the time was 7:30 A.M. Not late at all.
The mechanism which was the portable extension of Dr. Smile, connected by micro-relay to the
computer itself in the basement level of Barney's own conapt building in New York, the Renown 33,
tinnily declared, "Ah, Mr. Bayerson."
"Mayerson," Barney corrected, smoothing his hair with fingers that shook. "What do you
remember about last night?" Now he saw, with intense physical aversion, half-empty bottles of
bourbon and sparkling water, lemons, bitters, and ice cube trays on the sideboard in the kitchen.
"Who is this girl?"
Dr. Smile said, "The girl in the bed is Miss Rondinella Fugate. Roni, as she asked you to call her."
It sounded vaguely familiar, and oddly, in some manner, tied up with his job. "Listen," he said to
the suitcase, but then in the bedroom the girl began to stir; at once he shut off Dr. Smile and stood
up, feeling humble and awkward in only his underpants.
"Are you up?" the girl asked sleepily. She thrashed about, and sat facing him; quite pretty, he
decided, with lovely, large eyes. "What time is it and did you put on the coffee pot?"
He tramped into the kitchen and punched the stove into life; it began to heat water for coffee.
Meanwhile he heard the shutting of a door; she had gone into the bathroom. Water ran. Roni was
taking a shower.
Again in the living room he switched Dr. Smile back on. "What's she got to do with P. P.
Layouts?" he asked.
"Miss Fugate is your new assistant; she arrived yesterday from People's China where she worked
for P. P. Layouts as their Pre-Fash consultant for that region. However, Miss Fugate, although
talented, is highly inexperienced, and Mr. Bulero decided that a short period as your assistant, I
would say 'under you,' but that might be misconstrued, considering--"
"Great," Barney said. He entered the bedroom, found his clothes--they had been deposited, no
doubt by him, in a heap on the floor--and began with care to dress; he still felt terrible, and it
remained an effort not to give up and be violently sick. "That's right," he said to Dr. Smile as he came
back to the living room buttoning his shirt. "I remember the memo from Friday about Miss Fugate.
She's erratic in her talent. Picked wrong on that U. S. Civil War Picture Window item . . . if you can
imagine it, she thought it'd be a smash hit in People's China." He laughed.
The bathroom door opened a crack; he caught a glimpse of Roni, pink and rubbery and clean,
drying herself. "Did you call me, dear?"
"No," he said. "I was talking to my doctor."
"Everyone makes errors," Dr. Smile said, a trifle vacuously.