
Riker laughed at the scene, then glanced at Worf. “Admit it, Worf,” he said. “Thatalmost made you
laugh.”
Worf gave a noncommittal grunt. Riker had taken up the challenge of making the Klingon laugh, although
so far he had not succeeded.I wish him success, Worf thought.Humor is undignified, but
understanding it might help me to deal with Alexander . His son was part human, and the boy’s
emotions and behavior often baffled his father. The sense of humor that Alexander had inherited from his
half-human mother formed the greatest obstacle between father and son.
On the screen, the character Link put a bullet in his hand, pointed his fist at an enemy and squeezed until
the bullet fired. Riker laughed, but Worf felt as mystified as Data.
“Offenhouse,” Jean-Luc Picard mused. He leaned back in his ready-room chair and gazed at the
message on the screen. TheEnterprise was ordered to proceed to Starbase 144, where she would pick
up Ambassador Offenhouse. The ambassador would supply further orders; theEnterprise would be at
his disposal. By order of Admiral Singh, Starfleet Command, et cetera, et cetera.
“Offenhouse,” Captain Picard repeated. Why did that name sound so familiar? “Computer, display the
file on Ambassador Offenhouse.”
The brisk contralto voice barely hesitated. “No such file is available.”
“How very odd,” Picard said, as much to himself as to the machine. “Computer, has there ever been a
human named ‘Offenhouse’ aboard theEnterprise?”
“Affirmative,” the computer answered. “Identity: Ralph Offenhouse, located stardate 41986.0 in cryonic
suspension—”
“Enough.” The memories came back now. TheEnterprise had stumbled across a derelict Earth satellite
that contained a number of humans in cryonic suspension. All of them had died in the late twentieth
century, and they had been frozen in the hope that they could someday be revived and cured.
That day had come in the middle of the twentyfourth century. Due to equipment malfunctions aboard the
antique spacecraft, only three of the passengers remained viable. They had been taken aboard the
Enterprise, thawed out and restored to good health. Picard had not been present while this happened;
he had been called away to an emergency conference at Starbase 718. Several starbases and outposts
near the Romulan Neutral Zone had been destroyed, and suspicion had naturally fallen upon the
Romulans. Picard had returned to his ship to investigate the situation . . . and to meet Ralph Offenhouse.
All in all, I prefer the Romulans,the captain thought as he gazed idly at the ready-room ceiling.
Offenhouse had been by turns obnoxious, aggressive and self-centered, and Picard could readily imagine
somebody back in the twentieth century freezing the man merely to be rid of him. After close to four
centuries in suspension, his only concern had been with his financial situation. He had made long and loud
demands to be put in contact with his bankers and breakers—no, brokers, that was the correct
archaism. Offenhouse had been a financier, and he was blithely unaware of the changes the past centuries
had seen.
To be fair, the man had proven useful during theEnterprise ’s confrontation with a Romulan warbird.
The Romulan commander, Tebok, had blamed the Federation for the destruction of Romulan bases on
the other side of the Neutral Zone. Offenhouse had listened to Tebok’s threats and bluster—and