Sharon Green - Jalav 4 - The Will Of The Gods

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JALAV 4: The Will of the Gods

By Sharon Green

CH 1. The disagreement of male and the anger of Mida

I awoke in the thick, enveloping darkness of the room, at first convinced there had been movement near

me, after a moment allowing that the movement must have been Mehrayn's, tossing about upon the furs

beside me. The male's sleep was uneasy, perhaps by cause of the words of disagreement he and I had

spoken in the dwelling of Aysayn, he who was called Sigurr's Shadow. It had been necessary to speak

those words over and again, with Aysayn and Chaldrin as well as Mehrayn, and still the males refused to

abandon their stand. I had, at last, refused to discuss the matter further, which had silenced the males yet

had not moved them from their stubborn stance. Fool that I was, I had first spoken of the matter myself,

therefore could blame no one else for the difficulty. Though reluctantly, I had known many males of late; I

knew it was likely they would attempt to interfere with the doings of a warrior.

The darkness was cool and comfortable, bereft of the heat which would reappear with Mida's light. I lay

upon the fur I shared with Mehrayn, feeling only comfort from its silky softness against my body, relieved

that no intruding presence threatened. My sword and dagger were not far away, but the continuing

presence of much drink lay even nearer, in my head and body. Had it been necessary to defend against

intruders I would have done so, yet not with all of my usual skill. We had all of us drunk much of the

drink called falar, that which was nearer unbrewed daru than the renth of city males, though none of the

Sigurri males had had as much as I. As I was to depart with the new light, and alone, the males had

insisted upon the sharing of falar, each cup, as they said, a prayer to Sigurr to watch over me upon my

travels. I had not told them that their god cared naught for this warrior save for her use, for the doing

would have been idle. I had, instead, accepted each cup given me, baffled by the surprise of the males

when I continued to accept them. Falar had more presence than renth, yet less than brewed daru, that

which warriors drank. I had agreed to take as much of the falar as I was able; did they believe I would

give my word and then be forsworn?

I sighed as I turned toward Mehrayn where he lay, seeing the deeper darkness of his back, able to see

no more than the broadness of it, none of the corded muscle which rippled with his movement. So

strange were males, these Sigurri even stranger. First it had been the males of Bellinard, a city to the

north, then the males of Ranistard, even farther north. Ceralt and his Belsayah, Hannis and his Neelarhi,

the male god Sigurr and his fighters, and now his Sigurri. Bellinard had fallen to my sister clans of

Midanna, whom I led as war leader; Ranistard held those of my own clan of Hosta and would fall in its

turn when the Midanna were free to ride against it. Ceralt, by now surely healed, had returned to his

Belsayah, and perhaps led the Neelarhi as well, in the absence of Hannis. Sigurr dwelt among his fighters

in undoubted pleasure, for I had raised his Sigurri to stand with the Midanna against the coming strangers,

just as he had demanded. I had but one further thing to see to before I might return to my warriors who

held Bellinard, a thing demanded of me by Mida herself. It was this thing which upset these Sigurri so

greatly, yet in Mida's name I was unable to fathom the reason for such upset.

I, who am Jalav, was first war leader to the Hosta clan before my sisters were taken by the males of

Ranistard. This capture was allowed by the goddess Mida so that I might lead the other nine clans of

sister Midanna against Bellinard with none to say I favored one clan above the others. It was necessary

that I do naught to free the Hosta, and though my soul writhed in agony at that lack of doing, I was not

able to refuse the will of Mida. Strangers came to our world who were enemies to Mida and Sigurr, and

the goddess and god demanded that their warriors face these strangers and best them. Nearly all of the

Hosta carried the quickened seed of males within them, and would therefore be unable to stand in battle

with us. I planned to lead my warriors against the strangers and then see to the males of Ranistard, but

first the nine enemy clans of Midanna must join us.

Mehrayn stirred again as though in discomfort. That I rode with the new light to claim the war leadership

of enemy Midanna had been an outrage to him, and he-and Chaldrin-had insisted on accompanying me,

although I tried to convince them that they would be more burden than aid, that their lot among Midanna

would be harsher than the lot of a female temple slave in their city, the lot of a female slave in Chaldrin's

domain, the Caverns of the Doomed. I had not mentioned my own fate were I to lead free males to the

home tents of Midanna, therefore they did not know what would befall me. To say my life would be

forfeit would be an understatement. These strange Sigurri accepted my warriorhood and my ability with

weapons-when other males did not-and yet insisted on standing with me where their presence would be

a burden. Strange enough was the willingness of a male to stand beside a warrior, stranger still that he

sought not to take from her those privileges which he demanded for himself. Strangest of all, however,

was the way they demanded to be allowed to add their blades to mine, as though I were brother to them

or they sister to me. That I had freed Mehrayn from slavery in Bellinard and had fought beside Aysayn

and Chaldrin in the Caverns of the Doomed did not seem ample reason for males to do as they did. All

warriors know males as being beyond reason, and beyond gratitude as well. Aysayn and Mehrayn

looked upon me as a messenger from their god, Chaldrin, as the sole being who had bested him at

blades; these, perhaps, were the reasons for the behavior of the males, but it still seemed odd.

"Why do you not sleep, wench?" Mehrayn's deep voice came suddenly, held low so as not to challenge

the darkness. "Had I as much falar within me as you have within you, it would be feyd before I awoke."

"Falar is not like daru," said I, speaking as softly as he, my hand reaching to the dark shadow of his arm.

"Had it been brewed daru I swallowed, I might well be insensible.

Was I not sufficiently awake and aware during your devotions?" "Indeed you were," said he, chuckling as

he turned toward me. "With the removal of your life sign, your sufficiency is beyond question. You do not

mean to deny me that sufficiency for a final time, I hope? I await the new light with thoughts of no other

thing than my devotions."

"Dark Sigurr is surely pleased with your piety," said I, finding great pleasure at the touch of his hand upon

my back, beneath my hair. "Mida, too, will be pleased that you no longer mean to impede her warrior.

The home tents of Midanna would allow you no devotions, yet would you be used to the glory of

Mida-again and again and again. The use you had at the hands of my warriors in Bellinard would be as

naught in comparison."

"Were all Midanna as-sufficient as you, I would give myself to them with eager anticipation," he

murmured, drawing me into his arms. "I will miss you sorely once you have gone, and more than that;

already do I feel your absence. Will you join me upon my altar when the new light arrives, or do you

mean to deny me a last taste of you?"

"Such a taste might be had now, here upon these furs, rather than with the new light upon your altar," I

murmured, feeling the nearness of him begin to heat my blood. So broad and hard was the male, so

warm to my hands which stroked his back, so alive to my bare body pressed to his. I, too, felt the gap

his absence would bring, though I would not mind the emptiness when my life sign hung about my neck

once more. At one time my life sign was of wood, carved from the tree which had been marked as mine

at birth, though the symbol of the hadat had been changed; Mida had touched it and made it like her

Crystals, clear and light yet not easily broken; Sigurr had breathed into the crystal hadat, sending

darkness swirling throughout its shape. In such a way was it shown that I rode for both goddess and god,

and also was I given a great gift: with the life sign about my neck upon its thong, what wounds came to

me in battle were not immediately felt, and were healed during no more than one darkness of sleep. The

gift was priceless to a warrior and war leader such as I, yet there was something I did not understand!

with my life sign upon me I felt no desire for males. I had thought my lack of interest due to the use I had

been put to by the dark god Sigurr, yet it had not been so. Though to me the time had been horror-filled

agony, I had been told by Mida that Sigurr had been unexpectedly pleased. For what reason, then,

would interest in males be taken from me? It had surely not been Mida's doing, for her teachings council

that one uninterested in males is a thing of pity; how are our clans to thrive and grow stronger if peopled

by warriors who care naught for those who are able to give warriors new warrior lives? The doing was

not beyond Sigurr, who would surely laugh soundlessly at whatever pain I was given due to a lack of

interest, yet the reason seemed insufficient. It would not be-

"And yet, if I were to taste of you now, you would find yourself easily able to deny me come the new

light," murmured Mehrayn, his lips to my hair, his words drawing me away from the distractions of

thought. "I have no understanding of your dislike for use upon my altar, yet am I well aware of it. Perhaps

it would be best if we were to abstain as once we did, so that your reluctance may be overcome at the

proper time."

"Mehrayn, I do not mean to remain till the new light," I said, his body still as he heard my words. "The

last of the darkness will do best to see me upon my way from this city, before those who dwell in it are

up and about. A journey such as the one before me is best begun as soon as possible."

His motionlessness touched me more deeply than his flesh, for I knew well that I would now have no

more of him. His flesh remained as warm as it had been, his great arms as tightly about me, yet would

they soon be gone, withdrawn in male-seen insult.

"So soon?" he asked at last, and then, strangely, the arms I had expected to release me tightened the

more. The breath was nearly taken from me with the abrupt constriction, and a small grunt escaped my

throat, more from surprise than pain. My breasts were crushed against the broadness of his chest and I

moved in silent protest, nearly wide-eyed at the strength he showed. So easily is a warrior able to forget

the strength of males, yet recall it she must if she is to remain free and a warrior. Again I moved in

protest, attempting to loose myself from the keren-like embrace, and at last Mehrayn perceived my

difficulty.

"Have I hurt you, wench?" he asked, releasing me enough so that he could look at me. "It was not my

intention to do you harm, yet the thought of losing you so quickly-the new light seems a great deal farther

away than the end of this darkness. I suddenly find that my arms lack the strength to release you."

I breathed deeply as I continued to attempt to extricate myself. "The strength of your arms seems more

than sufficient for any deed you may care to essay," I said. "Perhaps you could try to release me--else I

seek the aid of another."

"Another?" asked Mehryn, chuckling as his arms tightened some small amount. "There are no others

about to ask, nor would any Sigurri attempt to stand against me in a situation such as this. Even Chaldrin,

who has sworn himself to your safety, would not attempt to come between us. Should I find it impossible

to release you, who would there be to stand for you?"

"Mehrayn forgets that I require no more than one to stand with me," I replied, pressing my dagger to his

throat. Again his body grew motionless, this time for different reasons. "'This blade was given me by

Mida, and by cause of that has become my sister. Is it your desire to be kissed more deeply by my

sister?"

"I had not realized you had brought your-sister to my furs," said he cautiously against the sharpened

metal. "Never before this have you slept with a dagger so near to hand."

"Always do I sleep with a dagger near to hand," I replied, running my free palm slowly over his back.

"Never before have I been free to do so in this city of males. Do you continue to consider abstinence?"

"Wench, I refuse to believe that you would use that blade on me," said he, remaining motionless. "We

have come to mean too much to one another to cause each other harm. You will put that blade up and

then we will pleasure ourselves, and come the new light we will leave together to see to those enemy

wenches of yours. Aysayn will lead our legions out when the rites are done, and we will ride to meet

them when our chore is completed."

"When our chore is completed," I echoed, once again annoyed. "So you insist that you will accompany

me, do you? What of the agreement we came to?"

"I came to no agreement," said he. "It was you alone who refused the presence of those who would stand

with you during your need. Once I rode from you and permitted you to ride from me; had Sigurr not

moved those foul followers of the Oneness to attack my legion quickly, I well might have returned here

rather than continue on to their city. The distress I felt apart from you was more than I was able to bear,

Jalav, and I do not care to bear it again."

"Sooner would you bear what the Midanna would bring you," said I, disgusted. "You eagerly seek an

unknown fate, forgetting that I cannot prevent it, for I stand in Mida's cause and not in that of a male!

Perhaps you should have some small taste of that fate."

"Wench, you may not do this!" protested Mehrayn, but he released me at the urging of my blade. Though

he seemed sure I would not harm him, he knew well enough that I need not slay him to see my will done.

And were I to wound him, he would not only not accompany me, neither would Aysayn permit him to

accompany the Sigurri legions when they rode forth. His insistence on foolishness had angered me, so

that I wanted to wound him. In the darkness the male was unable to see my anger, but he could sense it

from the near growl in my voice-and be properly wary.

As Mehrayn put himself flat upon the furs, I followed, one hand to his shoulder as I knelt across the dark

shadow of his body, the other hand a fist about the hilt of the dagger which touched his throat. It had

been some time since I had last used a male so, but I remembered the way of it. The male stirred faintly

beneath me, clearly agitated, and I smiled into the surrounding darkness.

"You cared little for use of this sort as a captive in Bellinard," said I, my voice soft as I moved farther

toward his thighs along his belly. "Were you captive to Midanna in their own home tents, you would

know no other use. Never would you be permitted to take a warrior, only to serve her in her own chosen

way. Jalav is a warrior and war leader, and has taken many males in this manner."

"Jalav has swallowed too great an amount of falar," said Mehrayn, sourly. "I am not a wench to be forced

to the pleasure of a warrior, nor am I as deeply in need as in Bellinard. The war leader Jalav will receive

from me no more than that which her esteemed enemies would receive-here or in their own home tents."

"You speak so by cause of never having tasted of the sthuvad drug," said I, moving myself to where his

manhood lay. Indeed was he only partially aroused, not nearly enough for adequate use, yet did his flesh

jump at the touch of mine, and begin somewhat to rise and harden. "In the presence of the sthuvad drug,

a warrior may do with a male as she wishes, and the male may not deny her."

"I am the master of my own body," said Mehrayn, the words forced between clenched teeth. "It is not

seemly for a man to be taken so, and I shall not allow it."

"And yet you deemed it seemly to take this warrior with your strength when she would have had none of

you," I replied in a murmur, caressing his male-flesh with my female-flesh and causing him to continue to

stir. "As that taking was to your liking, so is this taking to mine."

"Jalav, the sole taking to be thought upon is that you are taken with falar," said he, a faint heaviness

having entered his tone. "When first I gave you my love you did indeed appear unwilling, yet was your

body most willing. As you may see, mine is not the same, therefore must you, release me and put up that

dagger."

"I find little unwillingness in your body, male," said I with a soft laugh, pressing my breasts to his chest as I

kissed at the flesh beneath the hair. Red was that hair, like the hair upon his head though lighter, and had I

been able to see him I would also have seen his sun-darkened skin, marked upon the left shoulder with

the stroke in black which stood for Sigurr. At my kiss his great unwillingness stirred even more greatly,

searching for the heat in which it might bask, and again I laughed. "For one who is unwilling, your rod

seems uncommonly active," said I.

"Never would I wish to see a rod used upon you, wench," said he, growling softly. "A length of leather

would suffice for your hiding, which shall be yours should you continue with this- Ahhh."

The breath flew from him as I succeeded in his capture and then, slowly, settled myself upon him. The

male was far too used to having females many times each fey, and was therefore not difficult to bring to

rigidity. Ah, Mida! The pleasure a warrior may find in the presence of a male of strength! I hummed along

with the motion of my hips, and Mehrayn's great hands rose to my sides as he moaned.

"Perhaps-perhaps a brief time engaged so would not be too unseemly" he said haltingly, his hips rising to

meet me. "There will yet be words between us on this matter, wench-at another time."

Again I laughed as I often did in the presence of the male, until I allowed the pleasure to take me. I kept

the dagger firmly in my fist, carefully near the male's throat yet did not threaten his safety, and we both felt

great pleasure. After an endless time his hand was able to force the dagger entirely away from him, and

he threw me back in the furs, his body quickly following. So abruptly did I become possessed rather than

possessor that I gasped, yet the pleasure did not cease. With Mehrayn's lips to mine came the first of his

vigorous pummeling, and my dagger was forgotten entirely.

I did not awaken till the first of Mida's light spread warmth and color through the room. Mehrayn lay

deeply asleep beside me to my left, my dagger lay abandoned and forgotten to my right, and I, sluggard

that I was, lay where I had been left when the pleasure was done. I had immediately slept, more deeply

than was usual; the falar had indeed affected me. Already was the fey advanced beyond my planned

departure time, and I was as annoyed with myself as I had been at Mehrayn in the darkness. To take

pleasure with a male is the right of a war leader and warrior, but yet the will of Mida must come first.

I arose from the furs and quietly donned my breech, then placed my dagger in its leg bands. Best to be

gone before Mehrayn's awakening, so that I need not listen to him beg again to accompany me. Although

my hair seemed snarled and twisted its entire length, from crown to thighs, it would keep till I rode the

forests toward the land of the Midanna. A heavy wooden comb was among the few possessions I had

wrapped for the journey. Upon a platform by the wall was my bow and shafts, and the life sign I had

carefully removed the darkness previous. I raised my swordbelt and sword from the furs beside the place

I had slept, then turned toward the platform. It would be the work of no more than a moment to gather

all I required, and then would I be- "So you are prepared to depart," came Mehrayn's voice suddenly

from where he lay. "And I may not halt you, for you move to the will of the gods. Am I permitted to wish

it might be otherwise?"

"To wish the matter otherwise would be to disapprove of the doings of the gods," said I, looking down to

where he lay in the furs. "Few males approve of the demands of Mida, yet in this endeavor the will of

Sigurr joins hers. Do you mean to set yourself against the dark god, O Sword of Sigurr?"

"Do you need to mock me as well as leave me?" he growled, rising to stand before me. "Sigurr demands

no more of women than their use upon his altar. It is from men alone that he demands strength and battle

and wounds and early death, as it should be. That you are a warrior of uncommon skill is undeniable,

Jalav; however I would still far prefer to stand for you rather than beside you, yet also, undeniably, I may

not do so." His hands rose to my arms and stroked me gently, and he smiled faintly as he looked down

upon me. "I will not believe that blessed Sigurr would look upon my thoughts as sacrilege, yet should he

do so, so be it. I would still wish to prohibit you from riding from me into danger and battle."

"And yet you will not," said I, knowing the truth of this as I looked up into the warmth of his eyes. Again I

marveled at this male, this Sigurri, who could have held me with his strength yet refused to do so, for he

knew that I did as I must, just as he did. I knew he was possessed of warrior honor, which moved each

of us to the path of right rather than that of personal pleasure.

"Yes, Sigurr take me for the fool I am, I will allow you," he murmured, sliding his palms beneath my hair

and drawing me easily to the firm strength of his bare body. "I shall have your lips a final time and then I

shall turn from you, and in a hand of feyd I shall follow after and find you. Once I have done so we will

face the final battle together, and then-and then the will of the gods will have been seen to."

His lips lowered to mine and eagerly did I meet them, endlessly pleased that I need not discuss my

thoughts after battle with the strangers was done. It was then that Mida wished me to lead the Midanna

against the Sigurri, destroying them before they might do us the same, yet had I learned that the Sigurri

were honorable far beyond the god they served, and would not attack those they had fought beside.

Should the matter come to it, I would give my life and soul to halt the intended attack, for the Midanna

would not find it prudent to enter battle by the single clan against so large a force commanded by a single

leader. Midanna and Sigurri would not raise blade to one another and I-I would find the peace I had

come to long for, the peace that would not be mine while I lived. I let my swordbelt fall from my grasp

and held Mehrayn as he held me, knowing that I would forget him once my soul thinned and melted into

the final dark-yet somehow his strength and warmth would be eternally missed.

Our lips clung together in an attempt to prolong the moment, though it was impossible to prolong it

forever. We parted at last and Mehrayn looked down upon me, his hand gently smoothing my hair.

"I shall help you gather your things and choose a kan," he said, with resolve. "Allow me a brief moment to

cover myself, and then we may . . . "

A clear, deep ringing broke into his words, the summons from Sigurr that the time of devotions was at

hand for all Sigurri. Mehrayn looked startled at the sound, and his tone became bitter.

"So I am not to be allowed even to see you off," he said, stroking my face. "Perhaps Sigurr was

displeased with the words I spoke earlier after all, yet I refuse to withdraw them. I must go now to find a

wench to take to my altar, but my prayers will be for you rather than her, my Jalav. Go with Sigurr's

blessing, and care for yourself till I am able to stand once more beside you."

His lips brushed mine briefly and then he was gone, to take up his black body cloth from where it lay

upon the floor covering and begin to wrap it about himself. No, I will not share your devotions, I had told

him in the darkness, and he, recalling my words, would go without argument to seek another. I found my

swordbelt upon the floor at my feet but yet in Mida's name, I could not pick it up. Never would I allow a

male to deter me and yet-

"Do you mean to send me to battle without a final blessing?" I asked, knowing how the male saw his

devotions to Sigurr. "I had thought the male Mehrayn cared more for the war leader Jalav."

A wide, glad smile brightened him as his hands tore away the covering he had nearly replaced. His

laughter rang out as he returned to me in an eye blink, and then his arms were about me, hugging me

close in great joy.

"Wench, I had not thought you would remain," he said, amused, as I eyed him warily, recalling the

embrace I had received in the darkness. "No, I shall not crush you to me again-at least until I have you

upon my altar. Come, the time flies before us."

Quickly then did he take me to that black, padded platform which was his altar to his god, turned to light

the black candle which stood above it upon a ledge, and then returned to me with eyes shining as brightly

as the flame. In a moment was my breech opened and pulled away and my dagger taken and thrown

aside, and then was I lowered gently to the black platform, Mehrayn following to crouch above me.

"Sigurr, hear these words from one privileged to be known as your Sword," said the male, pressing his

lips lightly to mine as his hands touched everywhere. "I ask that you guard this woman I have beneath me

as you would guard one you looked upon as your own beloved, one for whom you would gladly give

your own life that hers be spared. She rides to danger among those who are enemy to her; protect her

and aid her in her attempts as your breath in her life sign restores health to her wounded body. Should

this be done, I will never again ask a thing of you, for all I wish for in this life will be seen to."

"Mehrayn," I whispered, but yet his lips stopped whatever words I would have spoken concerning his

prayer. That he asked only for my well-being and not his own disturbed me, yet was I caught up in his

devotions and unable to pursue the matter. The joy his body was able to bring to mine was a

never-ending thing, and much did we revel in that joy till Mehrayn was no longer able to continue. For a

long time the male continued to lie atop me and look down into my eyes.

"I do believe I detect a purr in the throat of my hadat," said he, clearly pleased. "To cause a hadat to

purr, a man need only put her to her back and stroke her deep."

"True," said I with a smile, "and yet must a male be ever wary of her claws. The claws of a hadat are

never long sheathed."

To prove the truth of my words I set my own claws to the flesh of his back and drew them gently down,

and the male affected to cringe as though in pain.

"Ah, Sigurr, she wounds me!" he moaned, thrashing about so that his body touched mine at all points.

"Surely she now shows her jealousy at my intention to take another wench to my altar. Once she has

gone, how may I not take another wench? When she has returned to my side there will be no other, and

yet while she is gone-"

No longer was his tone light, his eye sparkling. Soberly did he gaze at me, and surely did I believe his

words were incomprehensible. The light of the fey bathed his features in the glow of growing warmth, and

of a sudden it came to me that I had not the time to puzzle out his meaning. My task awaited me, the task

which had for too long been put off.

"And now she must be gone," said I, touching the serious lines of his face. "Release me, male, so that we

may be about the duties which await us."

"Ah, yes, the duties which await us," said he with a sigh, but he remained motionless. "We shall each of us

see to our duties, and yet you have not spoken of your feelings toward my taking another to my altar for

devotions. Do you mean to blame me for obeying the word of my god?"

"For what reason would I do so strange a thing?" I asked, truly perplexed. "Were you pledged to follow

me in servitude, then would your use be mine to keep or give to another. As you do not follow me, I

have no more right to direct you in the matter than you have the right to direct me so. Though you are

male you are, in a manner of speaking, a war leader; who is there below Mida who may say who a war

leader takes to her sleeping leather?"

"Oh, indeed," said he, essaying a smile. "You may no more hold me at fault than I may hold-" His words

stopped abruptly to be followed by an odd smile and strange expression. "You-mean to take another to

your-sleeping leather during our parting?" he asked in a strange voice. "You are a war leader, and will

therefore lie with another man?"

"Should the desire come to me," I agreed with a shrug, moving somewhat beneath him. "There will

undoubtedly be many males among the home tents of the enemy Midanna, and once I have won their

leadership the males will be eager to please. Mehrayn, you must release me now, for I cannot move past

the bulk of you."

"Oh, indeed, release you," said he, at last beginning to rise from the altar. "The-males will be eager to

please you, and yet by then I will have led my legions to rejoin you. There will be little need for you to

seek another when I am there."

"The matter will be seen to in its own time," said I, relieved, as I rose from the platform. Much did I

dislike all that belonged to Sigurr, although I had ignored the dislike for Mehrayn's sake. "It may perhaps

be necessary that I honor one or more of the favorites of those who will follow me," said I, stretching my

body. "I will then put aside my life sign and use the males gently, so that I do not cause them upset."

"I cannot conceive of a man alive who would find upset at your use," muttered Mehrayn, eyeing me

where I stood. "Even those who willingly enslave themselves. And yet-I had forgotten about your life

sign. With your life sign about your lovely throat, you will feel desire for none of them."

The thought seemed to please the male; he grinned and chuckled. Again was I perplexed, even as I

retrieved and replaced my breech and dagger, and bent for my sword. Once it was belted about me, I

saw that Mehrayn did likewise. Much would it have pleased me to wash the smell of a male from me

before taking my leave, yet would the washing be more thorough when once I found a stream or lake in

the forests through which I meant to ride. I strode to the platform to find my life sign-and my fingers

closed on air. Thinking I had mistaken the place, I looked about, yet nowhere was the life sign to be

seen. In sudden upset I threw all things from the platform, the bow, the shafts, the flame-maker and comb

I had prepared, yet all to no avail. The platform stood bare of all things-most especially my life sign.

"What occurs here, wench?" asked Mehrayn, halting beside me. "Do you mean to throw the whole room

about now that you no longer will have use of it?"

"My life sign," I said, immediately turning toward him. "Have you moved it elsewhere, male?"

"Not I," said he, with a frown. "Perhaps it has fallen behind the table."

Quickly then did he reach to the platform, lift it from where it stood and peer beneath, with no success.

Clearly the life sign was no more beneath the platform than upon it. The male then began a slow, careful

search among those things that I had thrown to the floor cloth, yet a thought had come to me that held me

from joining his search. In only one manner might the life sign have flown so completely from where it had

been left, and in such a manner was I able to know of Mida's displeasure with me. As Mehrayn stood to

look about himself in great frustration, I quietly walked to those things I had thrown to the floor cloth and

began gathering them to me.

"The life sign is not there, wench," said Mehrayn, giving me no more than a glance as he continued to

look about. "Surely must it have been left elsewhere in error, the two of us so taken with falar that we

knew not what was done. First we shall search this entire room, and should we fail to find it we must

return to Aysayn's apartment and search there as well."

"There is no need," said I, holding the things I would soon take to the forests with me, shaking my hair

back from my arms. "No search will discover that which has been reclaimed by the one who gave it."

"What foolishness do you speak?" he asked, turning his look of displeasure from all about to me. "The life

sign has merely been misplaced, not reclaimed. Would your Mida take from you the magic of her healing

powers and Sigurr's upon the dawn of the fey you ride to battle at her bidding? Such a thing would be

inconceivable."

"Patience is more often to be found in mortals than in goddesses," I replied, stringing my bow. "Perhaps it

came to Mida that I would have little need of her magic healing when I concerned myself with no other

thing than dallying with a male. I must now see to her task without the aid of her magic, and for this I may

blame no one other than myself. I cannot say I knew no better."

The bile rose high in me at thought of my stupidity. When one surrounds oneself with males, one begins to

think as they, a thing I had not known was possible. I now must return to the forest ways as quickly as

possible, and hope to avoid any further disasters.

"Should one be at fault, that one is myself," said Mehrayn, his firm hand resting on my shoulder. "I cannot

believe, however, that the life sign has been reclaimed, and will immediately begin my search to prove the

contention. You may assist me or merely sit and await the results; I will not be proven wrong."

"Perhaps not," said I, showing no awareness of his hand on me. "I, however, have already been proven

wrong, and have not the time to sit about in idle patience. Should you find the life sign, you may bring it

after me when your legions are prepared to march."

"Bring it after- No!" exclaimed Mehrayn, turning me quickly by the shoulders and snatching away the

newly strung bow. "You cannot ride to battle without the protection given you! Do you seek crippling or

death?"

"Do you mean to say that the war leader Jalav has never before faced battle without protection?" I

demanded. So great was my anger at this insult that my hand closed about the hilt of my sword. The male

saw the effect of his words upon me, yet showed annoyance rather than contrition.

"Do not think to lure me from my stand with misdirection, wench," said he, in a tone of disapproval. "I

know well enough that you have faced battle many times and had need of no protection other than your

sword. Yet I would also know how many of those times you alone faced enemies without number? How

many of those times was done what you are about to do? No mortal wench-or man-may face your task

without the protection of the gods, and this you may not deny."

"My task is what I may not deny," I said, the insult diminishing somewhat, the stiffness remaining

unchanged. "When taken as a slave in Bellinard, I faced enemies without number; when held with the

Hosta by the males of Ranistard, I faced enemies without number; when captured by Ceralt and his

Belsayah, I faced enemies without number; when sent as a slave to the Caverns of the Doomed, I faced

enemies without number. Also did I walk the lines for Silla trash, as the scars upon me testify, yet did I

survive to avenge the insult. Do not speak of what you don't know, male, and beware giving insult. Jalav

does not care to swallow insult."

"Nor has she spoken, till now, of what service to the gods has entailed for her," said the male, his green

looking down upon me. "These Silla, who gave you such terrible wounds as to cause the scarring you

wear-they are enemy Midanna, are they not? They stand among those who unknowingly await you, do

they not?"

"They do not," I replied, turning from him to fetch the bow he had thrown aside. "Those Silla for whom I

walked the lines have been sent to Mida's Blessed Realm, some by my sword, some by the swords of

those who follow me. The balance of the Silla lay in capture to the males of Ranistard, beside my own

Hosta. When the strangers have been seen to and Mida satisfied, the Hosta will be freed, and likely the

Silla as well." I straightened with the bow in my hand, and turned to face him squarely. "Must we bare

blades before I am able to continue on in Mida's service? I would regret the loss of you, male, yet the

Hosta wait and the gods may not be denied. "

"Indeed, denial is reserved to mortal men alone," said he, grimacing. "Should I attempt to stand in your

path, I will be blown from it by those who may not be denied. I dislike being moved about so." He

looked at his altar a moment, and then back at me. "Very well. As I am given no alternative, I shall see

you upon your way. When your life sign is found, I shall follow after with it."

He came then to aid me in gathering the few things I would take to the forests, and another moment saw

us moving toward the door which led from his chamber. Mehrayn put a hand to the door to open it, yet

did he hesitate and then bend an odd look upon me.

"And who might this--Ceralt of the Belsayah be, in whose capture you were?" he asked, the oddness

also a part of his tone. "No doubt a man of low character, who sought to give you no other thing than

pain and shaming, a man whose life was well ended by the edge of your blade."

I, too, hesitated before the door, remembering Ceralt. As tall and broad as Mehrayn was Ceralt, with

eyes nearly as light, yet was Ceralt dark of hair, and darker of skin despite Mehrayn's tanning. Many

were the memories I had of Ceralt, not all of them unpleasant.

"Ceralt-was he who bought me as slave in Bellinard, he who claimed me as his own in Ranistard, he who

found me after I had walked the lines for the Silla and lay near to death," said I, seeing each of these

things against the wood of the door as I spoke of them. "It was he who was chosen by Mida to bring me

to her, and for that reason was I given into his capture for the journey. Ceralt-wished to make me his,

and would not acknowledge my service to Mida, therefore was his life nearly forfeit at journey's end.

I-bargained with Sigurr for his life and the lives of those others with whom we traveled, then left them and

rode to raise the Sigurri. Ceralt was too gravely wounded to speak with, yet did I leave word with others

that he was not to seek me again, therefore shall I never lay eyes upon him again."

"I see," said Mehrayn quietly. "You warned him away, therefore will he refrain from seeking you out.

Merely by cause of the warning."

"Certainly," said I, understanding naught of his oddness. "Nearly was his life lost by cause of his

insistences. No other than a fool would attempt the pursuit of that which has been denied him by the

gods."

"The truth of your words cannot be denied," said Mehrayn, with a small, odd smile. "No other than a fool

would do such a thing."

With such comment was the door then opened before me, so that I might walk through. I did so without

hesitation, relieved that the conversation need no longer be continued. As a Sigurri male, Mehrayn did

well in upholding the greater strangeness of all Sigurri.

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JALAV4:TheWilloftheGodsBySharonGreenCH1.ThedisagreementofmaleandtheangerofMidaIawokeinthethick,envelopingdarknessoftheroom,atfirstconvincedtherehadbeenmovementnearme,afteramomentallowingthatthemovementmusthavebeenMehrayn's,tossingaboutuponthefursbesideme.Themale'ssleepwasuneasy,perhapsbycauseofthewo...

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Sharon Green - Jalav 4 - The Will Of The Gods

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