Ralph Fry was right, Dr. Jeudwine was a good man. He didn’t laugh at any of the little
fears Charlie unburdened. Quite the contrary, he listened to every word with the greatest
concern. It was very reassuring.
During their third session together, the doctor brought one particular memory back to
Charlie with spectacular vividness: his father’s hands, crossed on his barrel chest as he lay in his
coffin; the ruddy color of them, the corse hair that matted their backs. The absolute authority of
those wide hands, even in death, had haunted Charlie for months afterward. And hadn’t he
imagined, as he’d watched the body being consigned to humus, that it was not yet still? That the
hands were even now beating a tattoo on the casket lid, demanding to be let out? It was a
preposterous thing to think, but bringing it out into the open did Charlie a lot of good. In the
bright light of Jeudwine’s office the fantasy looked insipid and ridiculous. It shivered under the
doctor’s gaze, protesting that the light was too strong, and then it blew away, too frail to stand up
to scrutiny.
The exorcism was far easier than Charlie had anticipated. All it had taken was a little
probing and that childhood nonsense had been dislodged from his psyche like a morsel of bad
meat from between his teeth. It could rot there no longer. And for his part Jeudwine was clearly
delighted with the results, explaining when it was all done that this particular obsession had been
new to him, and he was pleased to have dealt with the problem. Hands as symbols of parental
power, he said, were not common. Usually the penis predominated in his patients’ dreams, he
explained, to which Charlie had replied that hands had always seemed far more important than
private parts. After all, they could change the world, couldn’t they?
After Jeudwine, Charlie didn’t stop breaking pencils or drumming his fingers. In fact if
anything the tempo was brisker and more insistent than ever. But he reasoned that middle-aged
dogs didn’t quickly forget their tricks, and it would take some time for him to regain his
equilibrium.
So the revolution remained underground. It had, however, been a narrow escape. Clearly
there was no time left for prevarication. The rebels had to act.
Unwittingly, it was Ellen who instigated the final uprising. It was after about of
lovemaking late one Thursday evening. A hot night, though it was October, the window was ajar
and the curtains parted a few inches to let in a simpering breeze. Husband and wife lay together
under a single sheet. Charlie had fallen asleep even before the sweat on his neck had dried.
Beside him Ellen was still awake, her head propped up on a rock-hard pillow, her eyes wide
open. Sleep wouldn’t come for a long time tonight, she knew. It would be one of those nights
when her body would itch, and every lump in the bed would worm its way under her, and every
doubt she’d ever had would gawk at her from the dark. She wanted to empty her bladder (she
always did after sex) but she couldn’t quite raise the will power to get up and go to the bathroom.
The longer she left it the more she’d need to go, of course, and the less she’d be able to sink into
sleep. Damn stupid situation, she thought, then lost track, among her anxieties, of what situation
it was that was so stupid.
At her side Charlie moved in his sleep. Just his hands, twitching away. She looked at his
face. He was positively cherubic in sleep, looking younger than his forty-one years, despite the
white flecks in his sideburns. She liked him enough to say she loved him, she supposed, but not
enough to forgive him his trespasses. He was lazy, he was always complaining. Aches, pains.
And there were those evenings he’d not come in until late (they’d stopped recently), when she
was sure he was seeing another woman. As she watched, his hands appeared. They emerged
from beneath the sheet like two arguing children, digits stabbing the air for emphasis.