GUIDE TO GETTING ALONG WITH YOUR BOSS

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Hobson Square Publishing Report #2016
THE INSIDERS' GUIDE TO GETTING ALONG WITH YOUR BOSS
by William G. Schlake
Copyright 1993 by Hobson Square Publishing. All rights reserved.
No part of this report may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form by electronic, mechanical, photocopying or other means
without the express written permission of the author or
publisher.
Understand, the fact that your boss, like yourself, is a human
being. Like everyone else, bosses come in all shapes and sizes.
Like you, he has ambitions, aspirations, and dreams. Some he
will achieve, others he won't. Some bosses are good managers,
others bad, but most fall somewhere in the middle range.
Unless you're working for a very small company, your boss
probably has superiors of his own - that no doubt can, and do,
drive him crazy at times. What it boils down to more than
anything else is, how well you and your boss can deal with the
emotional roller coaster of everyday life, and perhaps most
importantly, how each of you view your job.
To get along with you boss, or other people for that matter, you
have to know how to understand and react to personality traits,
get inside your boss's head. In short, you need to develop your
human relations skills.
This does not mean becoming a ""yes" man and always siding with
your boss no matter how dumb a mistake he makes, or how big a
fool he makes of himself. Your boss may appreciate such blind
devotion, but unless you are willing to drop anchor and never
advance up the corporate ladder, you also need to know when to
put some distance between you immediate supervisor, and the
powers that be, because if your boss really goofs-up - you may
be shown the door at the same time your boss is!
Back to getting along with the boss, you of course need to get
on and stay on his "good side," in short become a team player
That means becoming the type of an employee everyone would like
to have work for them. Someone with a positive outlook, someone
who's also friendly, loyal, tolerant, compassionate,
understanding, courteous and supportive. Someone who can take,
and follow orders. Someone who can get the job done. Someone who
knows when to speak-up, and when to keep his mouth shut.
Regardless of what you think of your boss, the first thing you
should learn, is his style of supervising. The two extremes of
management style, are a boss who enjoys playing the part of a
military leader, where he, or she barks orders that must be
followed exactly without question, or the boss who maintains a
very low profile, giving employees broad guidelines and then
disappearing. Fortunately, most bosses fall somewhere in between
the two extremes, or little actual work would ever get done!
If you have the type of personality that demands you must have
very specific orders or you're "afraid you won't do it right,"
you better have a boss who is willing to spend the time watching
your every step.
On the other hand, if you must be left to your own devices to
make things work to get the job done and resent the boss looking
over your shoulder or constantly "picking on you," you better
have the type of boss who is willing to give you enough room to
do your own thing.
Either way, if you are stuck with the "wrong kind" of boss it
will be a real source of irritation that frequently ends in you
not seeing eye to eye with your supervisor.
If you can't change, or at least try, you would be better off
finding employment elsewhere - because the boss isn't going to
change his management style to please you!
It also pays dividends to learn what your boss likes and
dislikes, and then adapt what you do to suit his personality and
management style. All bosses expect their workers to know how to
do their job, and to get it do it correctly, and on time, but
problems are bound to come up in any business. One thing that
can really "set off" your boss is not handling problems like "he
thinks" they should be handled.
Remember, he's the boss, so be sure to learn how he wants you to
communicate problems. Does he prefer you put it in writing,
arrange a meeting, or just drop-in his office anytime you have a
question? Use common sense. If the boss is in a bad mood, or
otherwise having a bad day, he's probably not in the proper
frame of mind to listen to any new suggestions, or for you to
ask to go home early, take a day off, or get a raise.
Besides consideration for the boss's mood, and receptiveness on
any particular day to listen to new ideas, the employee who
thinks he has a good idea for changing an operating procedure,
should always re-think his idea through from every angle before
presenting it to the boss.
You should give your boss the feeling of confidence that you're
a team player and you want to be the one he or she can depend on
to make his or her job easier. You should try to figure out what
your boss's goals are, then help him to reach those goals
through your contributions as a good employee.
Basically, the good employee is the one who is ready and in the
mood to go to work at the designated time.
- A good employee knows his job, inside and out, and if faced with
something new, puts in the necessary time on his own, to try and
figure things out, then presents options to the boss, who
decides if any changes in policy or procedures are needed.
- A good employee doesn't take time off except for real illness or
emergencies. He's the one who does his work, gets the job done,
and is proud of his contribution to the overall success of the
company he works for. He's one who's ready to help a fellow
employee or newcomer without having to be asked to do so.
- A good employee lets the boss know that he's completed his work,
and is free to assist him or her with special projects. He's the
one who doesn't camp out at the water cooler or coffee machine
engaging his fellow workers in idle gossip. He's the one who
sets up his work area either for the person on the next shift,
or so that he'll be ale to go right to work when he comes in the
next day.
All of these things and more, are the basic ingredients to the
definition of a good employee, and being a good employee is the
best way of getting along with the boss! The practice of good
human relations and displaying the virtues of the ideal
employee, requires the constant use of one's common sense for
ultimate success. On needs to be aware of the boss's
sensitivities, and eccentricities. If he bristles at any hint of
criticism of how he does things, he needs a subordinate who'll
be willing to work under less then ideal conditions.
So, the bottom-line to getting along with any boss is first be a
good employee yourself. Master human relations. Understand that
your boss is a human being just like yourself - with a job to
do, and bosses of his own to answer to. So do everything you can
to make his or her job easier. It will go a long way to making
your job easier and having a good working relationship with the
boss!
If you can master the all important "people skills," someday you
may enjoy the power and prestige of being the boss, and enjoying
all the perks and other trappings of being in charge!
HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD RIGHT FROM WRONG
0 - 1 YEAR
At this stage in life, the concepts of right and wrong are not
possible to teach. Rather, an infant who is shown warmth,
cuddling and loving attention is likely to grow into a healthy
and happy adult.
1 - 2 YEARS
Rather than scolding a child or arguing with him about
misbehaver, try to take preventative measures beforehand. If
you don't want him pulling things out the cupboards, make sure
they are secured. At this age of short attention span,
discipline beyond a simple "no" is unnecessary and can have
undesirable effects.
2 - 4 YEARS
Children of this age, unable to understand abstractions such as
generosity and truth, imitate their parents. So set an example.
Be firm in disallowing undesirable behaviour, but do so in a
kind and friendly manner, without attempting to explain why.
4 - 6 YEARS
This is the time where you can really take some positive steps
to reinforce your child's positive behavior. Give him lots of
praise when it's due. Children of this age respond well to
simple reasoning and explanations. Concepts such as
truthfulness and generosity can be introduced. Continue to set
an example of acceptable behavior. The child at this stage
wants to please you and wants to be liked by others.
5 - 8 YEARS
Children develop a greater social awareness at this age. They
understand the basic rights of others when taught fairness,
values and the need to follow certain rules of behavior. Rules
and limitations not only seem just to the child, but give him a
good feeling of security.
8 - 11 YEARS
Due to natural growth and influences outside the home, your
child has likely become more independent. He may begin to
question your decisions, contradict or argue. You must remain
firm in the important matters and flexible in less important
ones. Demonstrate and discuss the child's duties and
responsibilities to friends, relatives and society. Set
examples of moral behavior. Sex education can also be important
at this stage.
12 - 17 YEARS
These are normally rebellious years for most teenagers. In
fact, teenagers who never rebel are probably in emotional
trouble. As a parent you must weather the storm when your
teenager begins to question and test conventional values, rules
and beliefs. If you've instilled a sense of values at an early
age, chances are he still retains many of those ideas. Try to
keep lines of communication open and don't push the panic
button. If communication does break down and tensions mount
considerably, seek professional help.
18 YEARS AND OVER
At this stage most young adults are forming, or have formed,
their own set of values. However, life still holds for them
many unanswered questions, and a warm yet honest relationship
can still go a long way in helping them reach mature adulthood.
HOW TO COMMAND, INFLUENCE AND CONTROL PEOPLE
The Styles and Methods of Power
Power is the ability to get things done - your way. Sometimes
it's a direct order that you give, sometimes a suggestion you
make, or a request or the asking of a favor; but the result (if
you have power) is always that the other person acts and you
derive a benefit from the other person's actions.
Once can have power in many different ways. You have it over
your employees because you pay their salaries. If you are an
expert in a special field, it's because you know the best way to
handle matters. In a legal dispute it's because you have the
law on your side. If you have credit cards, it can be part of
your lifestyle to go into a store, hotel, or restaurant, in any
city, and order whatever you wish. In politics it's because
folks will give you their votes, hoping that you'll work and
succeed in getting the government to serve them in their area.
And there's the power that derives from being talented, charming
and capable; of being up-to-the minute and knowledgeable, so
people know if they let you handle things for them or listen to
your advice, they'll come out ahead.
One more aspect of power. This concerns competition. If all
the world were fair and equal, one would have no need for the
upper hand, for the advantage, for power. But of course the
world isn't. Which often means that in a competitive situation
you cannot merely settle for an equal chance. You must keep
your eyes and ears, and indeed all you faculties, open for any
clue or other tips that will move the balance in your favor.
Whenever possible, make sure you get more than an equal chance.
|You Have to Look the Part
People are impressed by how a man looks. They are often not
aware of exactly why they treat one man like a VIP and another
gets the bum's rush. Their reactions may be subliminal, below
their conscious awareness. But take it from me, if you're well
dressed, neatly groomed, hair trimmed, etc., and are driving a
snazzy car, you'll be well received; while a guy who's wearing
sloppy clothes, unshaven and unclean, and who's driving an old
heap, will hardly get any attention at all. Look as good as you
can; and back it up in other ways.
Add the other elements of the power image too. Clothing - it's
worth investing some money to be well dressed. Buy suits on time
payments if you can (a credit card is very useful for this).
That way the clothes are helping to get power, and therefore
money, for you while you are paying for them. Don't forget
about the car you drive around in; if the one you have is not
impressive then rent one that is. Rental cars don't cost that
much and driving a good one pays dividends in the power sphere.
Try to join clubs and organization (business, social, political)
that have important and influential members. If at first you
can't become a member, then manoeuvre a member into taking you
as his guest.
Money and power beget money and power, the more they thing you
have, the more you'll get.
We must repeat that, for most people, those who belong to the
power elite are those that appear to belong to it. Unless
recognized personally, a millionaire will be turned away from a
class restaurant if he's not well-dressed.
You Have to Consciously Act the Part of One Who is Used to Being
in Command
There's another extremely important factor in appearing to
already have money and power beyond what I mentioned above and
that is your own manner of doing things. You must move, speak
and act power. Have you ever met the grandson of a man who
amassed a fortune and wondered how a grandfather who did so much
could have a grandson who seems like such a weakling? It's
true; that grandson could never get rich on his own; if he
hadn't inherited his family's money, he'd be poor because he's
weak and incompetent. And it shows. The men who, like
yourself, are capable of making money now, are men who can act
in a strong style that almost seems to draw money like a magnet.
Language, and the way you speak , can say as much as the ideas
in your words. Equally important however, is your body
language, that is, the way you stand, walk, move and sit, and
the gestures you make.
|Be the Man Who's in Demand
Power isn't just you being able to call someone and tell him
what to do; it's also other men calling you and asking for your
business or wanting to associate with you. If you're a man who
seems to possess a wide knowledge of the world, an awareness of
trend, if you're the early-bird who catches sight of
opportunities first, if you're the man who's capable of handling
many different kinds of situations, then people will seek you
out. They'll invite you to vacation at their country homes, to
meet their influential associates, to join their social clubs
and their business syndicates. And when they do, all of these
will enhance your image of power, and widen your power base so
you can zoom in even more.
|When the Fight for Power Gets Harder
Everything we've said so far will be useful in just about every
situation; but when the struggle for power gets more intense,
some other methods are needed. When the person(s) you're
talking to has been open-minded and your powers of persuasion
have been working from the moment you first started talking, the
usual techniques can be used. But what if you're dealing with
someone whose mind is closed to your ideas and influence from
the start, or who feels he is in direct competition with you?
Then things must be handled somewhat differently.
Most important, be in control of the situation at all times. If
you feel your control is slipping, do something to regain it,
You could do something vividly dramatic and totally bewildering
to the other person, like suddenly shouting or pounding on your
desk. Or you could press a secret buzzer to have someone rush
in and interrupt when the other side is coming on too strong.
Never ever get into a power struggle when you're at any kind of
a disadvantage; if you're tired or if the discussion turns to a
subject in which the other guy is an expert. Always focus your
own mental energy and project your thoughts into his mind. Look
him in the eyes, try to gain his confidence. Always have a
picture in your mind of a victory over this person bigger than
the victory you need to achieve your aims. And whatever you do,
don't lose; that is, if you realize that you can't beat him,
then leave. It's better not to have victory than to have a
defeat.
|Say Whatever Does the Trick
Making a lot of money is largely a process of convincing people,
of selling yourself, your service, your product. And the trick
is to tell them what they want to hear. The problem is to find
out what they want to hear. So you'll start out by giving them
basic information about what you're selling. You then continue
with your sales approach, always watching their reactions
carefully. When you see their eyes light up and they then lean
forward with interest, then continue on the topic that aroused
that interest, no matter how odd it may seem to you. And do the
opposite when you reach any of the usual parts of your
presentation, if the prospect shows less than the normal amount
of interest; that is, shorten that part and go on tho the next.
|From Start to Finish
You start out by telling them what the product or service is or
does. The kinds of benefits people get from using it and some
examples of ways, both usual and unusual, that other folks have
used it. It often helps to mention that "Mr. Anderson, you
know, the big shot, just bought two of them for his own use", or
that "the XYZ Corporation recently bought seven of them for
their executives". Or if you're selling a more heavy duty item,
that "Smith's Construction Company has been using them for
years". If it's almost a custom made item, tell them they're
one of the select few who will even get a chance to buy it. If
you have an opportunity to talk to his wife or a friend of his,
play along with that other person and have them unknowingly
hinting to the customer that "it certainly sounds like a good
deal". If his kids are with him, get them to needle him into
buying it. Use any method that works.
Suppose the guy seems convinced but he can't seem to make up his
mind to actually hand over the money or sign the contract to
make the purchase. Sometimes it helps to imply that he really
can't afford it. He might buy it just to show you he isn't poor
or a cheapskate. Another great strategy that sometimes works in
desperation to close a sale is to make him feel guilty if he
doesn't buy. Imply that he deliberately wasted your time and
energy, the he's rotten and thoughtless, that he just wanted to
make a phony impression on his wife or girl friend or anyone who
is there with him. You might want to say all this very loudly,
almost yelling, so that a crowd gathers and you shame him into
buying. Or you can try another method to clinch the sale, offer
him a "special bonus". Say you'll give him a longer time to
pay, or a contract for "free" servicing or that you'll add on a
bonus of another item "free". Actually he may have been
entitled to this "extra" all along, but if you haven't mentioned
it, then now's the time. Try to keep one or two tings in
reserve as your last pieces of ammunition.
|To Sum It Up
Prepare in advance so you know the other man's point of view;
if you're able to benefit him, he'll practically jump at the
chance to let you make money off him. Tell him what he wants to
hear. And above all, keep eyes and ears open for any
information, clues or tip-offs, favorable or unfavorable, that
will give you the powers to persuade him.
In the power battle called life, victory will go to those who
find the right weapons and use them. So keep your weapons
handy; get a head start and don't lose it. Be alert for clues
you can use to your advantage. Present yourself with
confidence; broadcast your will power, speak and move with
assurance, and, to make sure they get the message, have the
clothes, car, office and the other outer appearances of power
and money. People tend to believe what they see, and if you
look like you've got it made, then you will have it made.
NERVOUS HABIT - YOU CAN BREAK IT IN A FEW DAYS
If you have a nervous habit you'd like to break, don't pull your
hair out. You can put an end to fingernail-biting or
hair-twisting in a matter of several days - and you can do it on
your own.
The following 4-step plan will help you put an end to your
nervous habit for once and for all.
Recognize your bad habit. Increase your awareness of it by
acting it out in front of a mirror. Try to keep track of how
many times during the day you fall into your habit.
Devise a replacement action. If you're a hair-puller, start
carrying a brush and brush your hair each time you get the
pulling or twisting urge. A nail-biter should learn to
substitute filing his or her nails rather than biting.
Bring your habit out of the closet. Advise your work cohorts
and family that you are attempting to break your nervous habit.
Ask them to remind you when they catch you falling into your
habit.
Learn to take it easy. Relaxation will help you put an end to a
nervous habit. When you are too keyed up, your nervous habit
takes over, so learn to do some deep breathing when you begin to
feel uptight about something.
Your biggest hurdle in overcoming your nervous habit is in
recognizing it. Once you do this and really decide you want to
break it, you have done the hardest part. Good luck.
MEASURING YOUR STRESS LEVEL
If you've been wondering what degree of stress you live under,
here is a quick way to get a fair estimate. Dr. Thomas and Dr.
Richard Rahe composed a table of events and the amount of stress
they cause. The most interesting feature of this table is that
the people they interviewed actually told them, how they could
rate specific events for the stress they cause, so this is human
rather than a medical appraisal of the degree of stress those
events caused As you get used to certain changes in your life,
they become less stressful, so these ratings will not be
entirely accurate for you. If, for example, you take a vacation
only every five years, you might rate it a 25 instead of a 13.
The common starting point used was a standard rate of 50 for
marriage for all the people interviewed.
The combined total of both positive and negative stresses in the
past few months will give you an idea of your current stress
level. Keep in mind that people have varying stress-handling
capacities and this table does not take into account such
regular stresses as recreational drug use, alcoholism, chronic
illness, allergy, battering and random stresses such as car
accidents, contest winning to the dreaded tax audit. This is
presented as information only and should not be used for
diagnostic or treatment purposes.
EVENT
- Death of spouse 100
- Divorce 73
- Marital separation 65
- Jail term 63
- Death of a close family member 63
- Personal Injury or illness 53
- Marriage 50
- Fired at work 47
- Marital reconciliation 45
- Retirement 45
- Change In health of family member 44
- Pregnancy 40
- Sexual difficulties 39
- Addition of new family member 39
- Business of adjustment 39
- Change in financial status 38
- Death of a close friend 37
- Change to different line of work 36
- Change in number of arguments with spouse 35
- Mortgage over $10,000 31
- Foreclosure of mortgage or loan 30
- Change in job responsibilities 29
- Son or daughter leaving home 29
- Trouble with in-laws 29
- Outstanding personal achievement 28
- Wife or husband begins or stops work 26
- Beginning or end of school 26
- Change in living conditions 25
- Revision of personal habits 24
- Trouble with boss 23
- Change in work hours or conditions 20
- Change in residence 20
- Change in school 20
- Change in recreational activities 19
- Change in church activities 19
- Mortgage or loan under $10,000 17
- Change in sleeping habits 16
- Change in number of family get-togethers 15
- Change in eating habits 15
- Vacation 13
- Christmas 12
- Minor violations of the law 11
UNDERSTANDING AND DEALING WITH EVERYDAY STRESS
by William G. Schlake
WHAT STRESS IS...
Stress is an abnormal condition that disrupts the normal
functions of the body or mind. No two people are affected in
exactly the same way, or to the same degree, but most people
living in our highly industrialized society suffer from its
effects at one or more times during their lives. Symptoms range
from mind headaches, occasional bouts of insomnia, overall
restlessness, digestive problems, irritable bowel syndrome,
constipation and diarrhea, and abdominal pain.
SELECTED LIFE EVENTS THAT CAN BRING ON STRESS:
Death of Spouse.
Death of a close family member.
Death of a close friend.
Major personal injury, illness or pregnancy.
Sexual molestation, drug abuse.
Major change in the health or behavior of a family member.
Gaining or losing a new family member.
Sexual difficulties.
Marital separation from mate.
Marriage, marital reconciliation, divorce.
Arguments with spouse, family members, friends, co-workers.
Changes in sleeping habits or change in part of day when asleep.
Vacations, Major holidays. In-law troubles.
Financing major purchases.
Beginning or ceasing formal schooling.
Change in usual type and or amount of recreation.
Change in outside social activities, religions, etc.
Major change in eating habits, Iiving conditions, moving.
Spouse beginning or ceasing work outside the home.
Changing to a different line of work.
Major change in responsibilities at work.
Changes in working hours or conditions.
Troubles with the boss.
Being fired at work.
Starting a new job or career.
Retirement from work.
Business readjustment, changes in financial condition.
Minor violations of the law (e.g., traffic tickets, disturbing
the peace, etc.)
Detention in jail or other institution.
Dealing With Work Related Stress
Examples that can cause work related stress are trying to get
too much work done in too little time, cutting corners or
otherwise taking chances that may put you, or someone else at
risk, and trying to get along with superiors and co-workers.
Everybody has days when there simply seems there's too much work
to get done. Trying to get everything done by yourself can bring
on stress. Some people try and deal with the pressure by
delegating certain jobs to others. If you can unburden yourself
and not worry about when and how the work gets done, if you can
put full faith and trust in co-workers or subordinates it can be
an effective escape valve. Trouble is, most people can't let go.
If you have the type of personality that demands to know how
things are going, chances are you're only increasing the
pressure and stress on yourself by constantly worrying if the
work is getting done or not.
To lessen stress you must either learn to trust others to get
the job done, or prioritize jobs to get rid of "what must be
done" first. Many people tend to "put off" the difficult jobs
they hate to do until the last possible minute. Of course, this
only makes it all the more difficult and stressful when you
finally get around to doing what you should have done earlier.
When you feel the "walls closing in on you" if possible, take a
break. Many people in trying to relax actually kick their bodies
into overdrive by using their break time to either get a
nicotine or caffeine fix. Instead of calming you down, both
substances being stimulants speed up your body processes. You
may think you're relaxing, but your blood pressure and heart are
working harder.
Instead of coffee or cigarettes try a brief chat with friends, a
short leisurely walk, even just looking out the window for a few
minutes. Never take breaks, or eat lunch at your work station.
The point of a break is to get away from whatever work you're
doing. You can't get your mind off your work if you're chained
to your work area.
Getting along with your co-workers and the boss can be more than
a sore point. It can be something you learn to put up with, or
it can turn into a festering wound that only gets worse with
time. If you're having problems, get them out in the open. Most
managers today at least have some training in dealing with
personal problems. If you can't clear the air or have tried
using all the company procedures to resolve a grievance, and you
no longer enjoy your job, hate to go to work in the morning, or
feel that the pressure is getting to be too much, it may be time
to seriously consider a change.
STRESS AWAY FROM WORK
Anyone who's ever been stuck in a major traffic jam probably has
摘要：

HobsonSquarePublishingReport#2016THEINSIDERS'GUIDETOGETTINGALONGWITHYOURBOSSbyWilliamG.SchlakeCopyright1993byHobsonSquarePublishing.Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisreportmaybereproducedortransmittedinanyformbyelectronic,mechanical,photocopyingorothermeanswithouttheexpresswrittenpermissionoftheauthoror...

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