William Tenn - Null-P

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William Tenn

Several months after the Second Atomic War, when radioactivity still held one-third of the planet in

desolation, Dr. Daniel Glurt of Fillmore Township, Wisc., stumbled upon a discovery which was to

generate humanity's ultimate sociological advance.

Like Columbus, smug over his voyage to India; like Nobel, proud of the synthesis of dynamite which

made combat between nations impossible, the doctor misinter-preted his discovery. Years later, he

cackled to a visiting historian:

"Had no idea it would lead to this, no idea at all. You remember, the war had just ended: we were

feeling mighty subdued what with the eastern and western coasts of the United States practically sizzled

away. Well, word came down from the new capital at Topeka in Kansas for us doctors to give all our

patients a com-plete physical check. Sort of be on the lookout, you know, for radioactive burns and

them fancy new diseases the armies had been tossing back and forth. Well, sir, that's absolutely all I set

out to do. I'd known George Abnego for over thirty years—treated him for chicken-pox and pneumonia

and ptomaine poisoning. I'd never suspected!"

Having reported to Dr. Glurt's office immediately after work in accordance with the proclamation

shouted through the streets by the county clerk, and having waited patiently in line for an hour and a half,

George Abnego was at last received into the small consulting room. Here he was thoroughly

chest-thumped, X-rayed, blood-sampled, and urinanalyzed. His skin was examined carefully, and he was

made to answer the five hundred questions prepared by the Department of Health in a pa-thetic attempt

to cover the symptoms of the new ailments.

George Abnego then dressed and went home to the cereal supper permitted for that day by the

ration board. Dr. Glurt placed his folder in a drawer and called for the next patient. He had noticed

nothing up to this point; yet already he had unwittingly begun the Abnegite Revolution.

Four days later, the health survey of Fillmore, Wisc., being complete, the doctor forwarded the

examination reports to Topeka. Just before signing George Abnego's sheet, he glanced at it cursorily,

raised his eyebrows and entered the following note: "Despite the tendency to dental cavities and athlete's

foot, I would consider this man to be of average health. Physically, he is the Fillmore Township norm."

It was this last sentence which caused the government medical official to chuckle and glance at the

sheet once more. His smile was puzzled after this; it was even more puzzled after he had checked the

figures and statements on the form against stan-dard medical references.

He wrote a phrase in red ink in the right-hand corner and sent it along to Research.

His name is lost to history.

Research wondered why the report on George Abnego had been sent up—he had no unusual

symptoms portending exotic innovations like cerebral measles or arte-rial trichinosis. Then it observed the

phrase in red ink and Dr. Glurt's remark. Re-search shrugged its anonymous shoulders and assigned a

crew of statisticians to go further into the matter.

A week later, as a result of their findings, another crew—nine medical special-ists—left for Fillmore.

They examined George Abnego with coordinated precision. Afterwards, they called on Dr. Glurt briefly,

leaving a copy of their examination re-port with him when he expressed interest.

Ironically, the government copies were destroyed in the Topeka Hard-Shelled Baptist Riots a month

later, the same riots which stimulated Dr. Glurt to launch the Abnegite Revolution.

This Baptist denomination, because of population shrinkage due to atomic and bacteriological

warfare, was now the largest single religious body in the nation. It was then controlled by a group

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William Tenn - Null-P

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