Terry Bisson - Made Out Of Meat

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I submit the following. For all I know, it may have originated in rec.humor.funny, but I don't

know. This was sent

to me by a friend. Apparently it has an unknown author.

[Note - Michael subsequently reported that the author is Terry Bisson, it originally appeared in

OMNI Magazine, it

was nominated for a Nebula, and it is reprinted here by permission of Mr. Bisson. My thanks to

Michael and Terry -

ed.]

Imagine if you will... the leader of the fifth invader force speaking to the commander in chief...

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard

our recon

vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from

machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and

they're made out

of meat."

"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat

stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which

didn't take too

long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an

electron plasma

brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we

probed them.

They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"

"So... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Terry%20Bisson%20-%20Made%20Out%20Of%20Meat.txt (1 of 3) [1/3/2005 10:54:34 PM]

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