file:///F|/rah/Piers%20Anthony/Anthony,%20Piers%20-%20Mode%201%20-%20Virtual%20Mode.txt
listen to tapes in the day, and had never brought out a light. Now a light would be disastrous,
because it would show that Darius was there.
"I have to go," she said abruptly. "Mom will wonder if I
stay out here too long. But you stay here, and I'll bring you
more food in the morning."
"Yes," he said. She hoped that he really did understand. She slipped out the door, not
opening it wide, just in case her mother was looking this way, and closed it quickly behind her.
Actually there would be nothing visible inside except darkness now, but it made sense to practice
safe manage -- ment. She returned to the house.
Her mother was pretty much out of it by this time. Good. Colene scrounged in the
refrigerator for more to eat, and gobbled it down without bothering to sit. Then she went to her
room. There was her bed, neatly made, and her desk where she normally did her homework, and her
dresser and mirror, and the guitar she hoped someday to leam to play decently. All very
conventional. She kept it that way delib -- erately, so that no one could garner any secrets about
her by analyzing her living space. There was even a set of standard dolls on the dresser. Ken and
Barbie. What a visitor would not know was that she had renamed the male: he was really Klaus. Thus
the pair was Klaus Barbie. There had been a notorious Nazi criminal by that name. She flossed her
teeth, brushed her hair, changed into her pajamas, and lay down on her bed. She stared at the
ceiling.
Sleep didn't come. All she could do was think about Da -- rius, out there in the Bumshed,
and her heart was beating at a running pace. She had to slow it to a walking pace before she could
nod off. She knew from experience with bad nights.
After a time she got up, went to the closet, and changed into her silky nightgown. She
loved the feel of it against her skin. It was long enough so that she wore nothing under it, which
gave her a deliciously wicked feeling. It was a good outfit in which to dream. Very good. In fact,
too good.
Now her heart slowed, but her thoughts turned darker. She remembered the time a few months
ago when her beloved grandmother, one of the mainstays of her young life after the default of her
parents, had sickened with cancer and then died. It was as if the last leg had been knocked out
from under Colene's will to live. Without Grandma, what was the point? She had not exactly told
Grandma about the horrors she had experienced, or how her life had been falling apart,
but she suspected that Grandma knew. It was better to go where Grandma was, and have her
reassurance again. Colene had taken her mother's pills from the cabinet, one sniff of which, as an
Arabian Nights tale put it with suitable hyper -- bole, could make an elephant sleep from night to
night. She swallowed three, then another, pondered, and finally two more. Six was a good number.
Six-six-six was the devil's own number. Sick-sick-sick was what these pills would make her. Sick
unto death. Then she lay down in her sexy nightie -- the one she was wearing now. She wanted to
expire in maid -- enly style.
The elephant pills did not exactly kill her. They put her into a trancelike state in which
she had a vision. In the vision she was exactly as she was, in her naughty nightgown, and
gloriously dying; the church bells were warming up for the somber death toll, and there would be
mourning until the funeral. How sweet she would look in the casket, a red-red rose on her cold-
cold bosom. Other girls would envy her the beauty of that nightgown, knowing that they would not
have the nerve to be shown dead in such an outfit.
Three figures entered the room, coming through the wall, so it was obvious that they were
of the spiritual persuasion. Two were her grandparents, now reunited in the afterlife. Grandma
approached. "Dear, you may not yet die, because there is something you have yet to do with your
life. We love you and will always be with you."
Then the third figure, the stranger, approached. He was clothed in a dark robe and wore a
cowl over his head, and his face was shaded by mist. Who he was she dared not guess, but there was
an inherent glow about him that bespoke his authority. "Colene," he said, his voice full of compas
-- sion and knowledge. "You have to go on. You will not be able to quit. Your life will get
better."
Buoyed by that message, she had roused herself from the vision, stumbled to the bathroom,
poked her finger down her throat, and gagged out the remaining contents of her stom -- ach. "Just
call me bulimic," she had gasped with gallant gallows humor as her heaves expired. She had changed
her mind about dying. For a while.
No one had known. Her mother hadn't even missed the six pills.
Had she done the right thing? Colene could not be sure. Yet now, with the appearance of
Darius, it seemed that there was indeed something for her to do with her life. Maybe her vision
was coming true.
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