Anthony, Piers - Xanth 12 - Man from Mundania

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Chapter 1. Heaven
Cent
•vy woke, stretched, and opened her eyes. It
was dawn; the sun had not yet quite dared show its round
face, because darkness made it nervous, but soon it would
get up its nerve. She looked at the Tapestry, with its ever-
changing picture of Xanth. She never really tired of watch-
ing it, though her interest waxed and waned. It waxed
when it rained outside because it was more fun to remain
inside where it was dry, and it waned when Zora Zombie
was waxing the stairs and the smell of the wax got chok-
ingly thick. Thus, as she put it, it waxed when it waned,
and waned when it waxed. It was her private joke with
Dt^ph? the adults didn't understand. Adults were chroni-
cal^slow about such things.
Sure enough, Zora was waxing today; the smell was just
starting. Ivy had only minutes to find a pretext to go far
away, several days if possible, until the wax settled down.
But she was running out of pretexts; what was left?
She jumped out of bed so suddenly she frightened the
monster under it—Grabraham; she heard his honk as he
shrank away. He was a young monster, replacing Snorti-
mer, who had departed long ago; he tended to be timid.
She was also reaching the age when folk started not be-
lieving in Bed Monsters, and that made it that much worse.
When she turned eighteen she would stop believing en-
tirely, and the poor thing would fade away. Grabby was
1
2
Man from Mundania
Man from Mundania
3
quite upset over the prospect, for some reason. She was
sorry about that, but there was really no alternative; she
couldn't stop herself from getting older.
She ran barefoot to the next room where Princess Nada
slept. Nada had moved in three years before when Dolph
brought her home, and the two had become great friends,
because they were the same age and rank and similarly
pretty. Nada was only half human, but she kept her human
form when staying at Castle Roogna, just from courtesy.
Princesses had to leam courtesy early, because princes
certainly didn't.
"Nada!" she cried. "I need a pretext in a hurry."
Nada sat up in bed, wrinkling her nose. "I know; I
smell it too. I'll go with you."
"Of course! But where?"
Nada concentrated. "Have we used the mirror yet?"
"We don't have the magic mirror!" Ivy reminded her.
"Com-Pewter got it last year, and won't give it back!"
"Yes. So—"
Ivy caught on. "So we'll just have to go and fetch it!
Because I'll need it when I use the Heaven Cent!"
"Exactly. Except—"
"I know. Except that Com-Pewter isn't going to let us
have it without a fight, and he fights dirty. Still, it's a
perfect excuse, if we can only figure out a way."
"Maybe Electra—"
"That's right! She could shock Pewter into letting it
go!"
Electra appeared in the doorway. "Did someone say my
name?" she asked sleepily. She was a freckled child whose
hair was a bit frizzy; her eyes were the color of wonder,
and there were smile lines around her button nose. No one
would think, to look at her, that she was tragically in love.
"Zora's waxing the stairs! Come help us get the magic
mirror from Com-Pewter!"
"Is that what I smelled! Just let me get dressed!"
There was a scramble as the three of them dived into
proper clothing. In a moment they were together again;
the two princesses in dresses, glancing jealously at Electra
in her rainbow jeans. She was of common stock, so could
get away with practical clothing. She was also slender
enough to wear it without attracting stray male eyes or
female frowns.
Quickly they trooped down the hall to the farther stair-
way, avoiding the wax. Unfortunately this led them past
Dolph's room, and he heard them. He had ears like those
of a werewolf, perhaps because he commonly assumed
wolf form to snooze. His door banged open. "Hey,
where're you going?" he cried. "Are you sneaking out
again?"
Nada and Electra paused: Nada because she didn't want
to hurt his feelings, Electra because she was in love with
him. Both were betrothed to him, of course, though he
was only twelve. In a moment Electra would invite him
along, because she always wanted to be close to him.
To prevent that. Ivy dived in. "We're going to get the
magic mirror from Com-Pewter so I can have it when I
use the Heaven Cent," she said. "So we can find out
where Good Magician Humfrey is and finally complete
your Quest."
"But Mother won't let you—" he started, reasonably.
"So you'll have to cover for us!" Ivy finished. " 'Bye!"
He still looked doubtful. But Nada stepped in and kissed
him, not saying a word. "Uh, sure," he said. He was
Silly Putty in her hands, of course, even though he knew
she didn't love him. It was the mirror image of his asso-
ciation with Electra. He changed into zombie form and
walked back the way they had come. Zombies didn't mind
the smell of wax, so he would be able to brave those stairs
despite Zora's mischief.
They completed their escape. Whatever Dolph had done
must have been sufficient, because no one tried to inter-
cept them. Ivy whistled for Stanley, and in a moment the
dragon whored around the castle and joined them. He
was almost grown now, and soon would have to depart for
the Gap because guarding it was his job. Ivy would be sad
when he left, but knew it was the same as it was with her:
age had its burdens. Meanwhile, he was excellent protec-
tion; they had no fear of wild monsters while in the com-
pany of the tame one.
Man from Mundonia
4
They snatched fruits from the orchard as they passed
through it, eating on the run. Then they reached the main
path going north. Every so often Com-Pewter arranged to
set up a D-tour, and then King Dor would send out some-
one to shut it down because it was a public nuisance. Ivy
happened to know that there was a D-tour currently in
force, and this time they meant to take it. It was the easiest
way to reach the evil machine. They were supposed to
stay clear of the infernal contraption, of course, which was
part of what made him so intriguing. Stanley would be>fio
protection against him, but Electra would. v^>
Sure enough, there was the D-tour. They veered onto
it. Now they could relax, because even if it got shut down,
they wouldn't lose it.
They stopped for the night near the unlevel playing field
where the Bulls and the Bears charged back and forth.
Grundy Golem had discovered this during his Quest to
locate the missing pet dragon. It was called the Market,
and the Bulls and Bears were the Stock. Almost every day
the foolish animals resumed their pointless activity, react-
ing dramatically to insignificant events and ignoring major
events. There were many strange things in Xanth, but this
business was too strange for even the craziest folk to un-
derstand. What did those Bulls and Bears find so fascinat-
ing about that Stock Market?
Stanley whomped off into the thickest wilderness to
catch a bite to eat, while the three girls harvested pies
from a pie tree near the path. It wasn't much of a tree,
but Ivy used her talent to enhance it, and then the pies
became so healthy that they steamed. There were many
more such trees along all the paths than in years of yore,
because Ivy's mother, Irene, had seeded them in and made
them grow, and Ivy had Enhanced them.
While they ate, they talked, for it was always fun to talk
when there were no adults to listen in. Inevitably the sub-
ject found its way to Romance, for that was the most
fascinating concept ever to approach teenage girls.
"When are you going to Find a Boy, Ivy?" Nada in-
quired. "I mean, you're well into seventeen, and when
Man from Mundania 5
your mother was that age she had already landed your
father and trussed him up."
"And by the time my little brother was nine, he had
already landed two finacees," Ivy agreed. "I confess to
being retarded."
Nada and Electra grinned ruefully. Nada had been four-
teen when the young Prince Dolph had come to her father,
the King of the Naga, for help, and because the naga
needed an alliance with the humans, the King had agreed
to help if Dolph married his daughter. Nada had had to
pretend she was Dolph's age, nine, knowing that her real
age would freak him out. It was only a betrothal, of course;
they would have to wait until Dolph came of age for the
actual ceremony of marriage. But meanwhile the alliance
was valid, and Nada had kept company with Dolph while
her folk received sundry items from the Castle Roogna
arsenal to fight off the encroaching goblins. There seemed
to be more goblins in Xanth than there used to be; no one
was quite sure why, but it did make for trouble.
Then the Heaven Cent had brought Electra to Dolph.
She had to marry him or die, so Dolph agreed to be be-
trothed to her too. That had happened at about the time
Dolph discovered that Nada was five years older than he,
so it might have been an easy decision for him to make.
But in the end he had realized that he loved Nada, so that
betrothal had remained.
Thus their quandary: they all knew that Dolph had to
choose between the two girls before he came of age. If he
chose Nada, he would honor his word to the naga folk,
and as a prince he was bound to keep his word. But Elec-
tra would die. None of them wanted that.
Three years had passed, while Electra used her talent
to charge the Heaven Cent. The three girls had become
fast friends. So they accepted the situation as it was: un-
resolved. Electra loved Dolph, and Dolph loved Nada.
Nada didn't love Dolph, and Dolph didn't love Electra.
How was this picklement to be settled? No one knew, but
it remained a favorite topic for conjecture. Fortunately it
would be several more years before Dolph Came of Age,
so the matter wasn't pressing yet.
6 Man from Mundania
"Didn't you know a Boy, once?" Electra asked. She
had been born more than eight hundred years before—-
maybe closer to nine hundred—and had slept through all
those centuries until Dolph kissed her awake. So her phys-
ical age was fifteen, and she looked twelve; indeed, she
was still a child in all the ways that counted, except for
the spell that made her love Dolph- But because of that
spell, she understood something of love and had a lively
curiosity about it.
"Yes," Ivy said, remembering. "I knew Hugo, the
Good Magician's son. He was five years older than me."
"The right way around!" Nada said. They all knew that
a boy could love a girl who was five years younger, but a
girl could not love a boy five years younger. That was
Nada's plight. She could marry Dolph, when the time
came, but couldn't love him.
"Oh," Electra said, understanding. "So when the Good
Magician disappeared, so did his son!"
"Yes. Hugo wasn't much, but he was nice, and he could
conjure fruit. Only he usually conjured rotten fruit."
"Rotten fruit!" Electra exclaimed, laughing. She
plucked a cherry from her pie and tossed it at Ivy. "Have
some rotten fruit!"
"Oh, so that's the way it is!" Ivy cried with mock out-
rage. She plucked a fragment of peach from her own pie
and threw it at Electra. "Have a peach of pie yourself!"
But Electra, childishly canny, ducked, and the piece hit
Nada.
"Oho!" Nada said. Her pie was lemon meringue, but
there were no lemon pieces to throw, so she threw me-
ringue instead.
In a moment they were engrossed in their very most
favorite sport: a food fight. For some obscure reason this
was frowned on at the castle, so this was a golden oppor-
tunity. When Stanley returned, all three were thoroughly
spattered. The dragon offered to lick them clean, but at
the first lick Electra dissolved into titillations of ticklish-
ness, and that set them all off in helpless laughter.
Fortunately there was a hot spring nearby. The three
plunged in—only to indulge in a fury of splash-fighting,
Man from Mundania 7
with piercing screams, while Stanley prowled in a circle
around them, ready to help steam them clean. If it hadn't
been for him, every predator in the region would have
been there, attracted by the delicious sounds of shrieking
nymphs.
It was fun, being girls.
They camped for the night in a nest of pillows within
the circle formed by Stanley, who curled around and caught
his tail in his mouth. Ivy had told him the story of Uro-
borus, the giant serpent who circled the Mundane world
(which it seemed was round) and grasped its own tail, and
Stanley liked the notion, so now he slept that way himself.
He was long, but really not that long; he could not hope
to circle the world. It didn't matter, because he was only
doing it for the feel of it. Meanwhile, they were quite safe,
which was the point.
When they got tired of walking, they took turns riding
on Stanley. It was an art to remain perched while he
whomped along, but they had had time to practice it. First
the rider would be low, then riding high, then low again.
Wheee! Electra took special joy in this, not ashamed to
yield to her juvenile impulses. Ivy and Nada, being more
mature (and in dresses), were obliged to pretend that it
really wasn't all that special.
As they approached Corn-Pewter's cave, they paused for
a consultation. "Should we try to hide our identities from
him?" Ivy asked. Com-Pewter was really an "it" but it
was easier to ascribe masculine evil, so they called it
"he."
"He'll never be fooled," Nada said. "He'll know we
didn't come here just to giggle."
"But maybe if we can hide our talents—"
Nada shrugged. "We can try. But I don't think it will
work. He certainly knows about Ivy."
"Unless he's overconfident, so doesn't check, and—"
Ivy's eyes flicked meaningfully toward Electra.
Nada nodded. "When I change form, try to escape,
distracting him—"
Now Electra nodded. "Gotcha."
8 Man from Mundania
"All else is bluff," Ivy said. "Maybe we'll pull it off
without violence."
"Maybe," Nada agreed, seeming less confident.
"Stanley, you go hide in the jungle," Ivy said. "After
the invisible giant passes, sneak up and follow us, but
don't let yourself be seen. That machine in there is devi-
ous, and we may need to be rescued if things go wrong."
Stanley nodded. He was only a dragon, but in Ivy's
presence his ferocity and intelligence were enhanced, and
he understood her perfectly. He ceased whomping and
slithered into the brush beside the path. In a moment his
sinuous green body merged with the foliage and disap-
peared. He would be watching.
They looked on, chatting innocently, in the way girls
had when innocence was the last thing on their minds.
The ground shook. "There's the invisible giant, right
on cue," Ivy remarked. "Get ready to spook."
The ground shook again. They paused, gazing wildly
around. "What's that?" Electra cried, her hair flaring
slightly. She was very good at spooking.
There was another shake. "It's the invisible giant!" Ivy
cried in seeming horror.
"EEEEEEEK!" Nada and Electra screamed in perfect
unison.
"Run!" Ivy cried,
The three broke into a run, right toward the cave. That
was the way Com-Pewter set it up: first travelers got onto
the D-tour, then they were herded by the invisible giant
until they took refuge in the cave—where they were trapped
by Com-Pewter. They were walking into it deliberately,
this time.
Just before the slow-moving giant came into sight (as it
were), they reached the cave and plunged in. It was dark,
but in a moment a light showed deeper inside, so of course
they went toward it. Soon they were in Com-Pewter's main
chamber.
There he was: an odd collection of wires and colored
metalware, with a big glassy screen sitting up in the center.
Words appeared on this screen, written in light:
G&EETWGS, GIRLS.
Man from Mundania 9
The three tittered uncertainly. Ivy put her finger to her
mouth as if nervous, which really was not much of an
exaggeration. "What is that?" she asked, staring at the
screen.
l AM COM-PEWTER, YOUR HOST, the screen said. TO
WHAT DO I OWE THE HONOR OF THIS VISIT, PRINCESS IVY?
So much for secrecy! Ivy decided to get right on with
it. "I have come for the magic mirror you stole from Cas-
tle Roogna."
i STOLE NO MIRROR! the screen printed angrily, i WON
IT.
"You stole it!" Ivy retorted. "And I want it back!"
DID NOT! the screen replied.
"Did too!"
DID NOT!
Ivy realized that Com-Pewter, who was of the techno-
logical persuasion, could continue this argument forever.
Machines were like golems: it didn't bother them to repeat
things indefinitely. Ivy, being just about grown-up (except
for the matter of a boyfriend), could no longer indulge in
such activity; it wasn't dignified.
"You lured a traveler here, who was using the mirror
with my father's permission, and you only let him go be-
cause he left the mirror," Ivy said stoutly.
CORRECT. I PLAYED A GAME WITH HIM AND WON. THE
MIRROR IS MINE.
"The mirror is not yours!" she snapped. "It wasn't his
to give away! He had borrowed it, and he was going to
return it when he finished his mission. So you stole it, and
you have to give it back."
I WON IT AND I DON'T HAVE TO RETURN IT.
"Yes, you do!" Ivy said. "Or else!"
OR ELSE WHAT?
"Or else my father. King Dor, will have to do some-
thing."
YOUR FATHER DOES NOT KNOW YOU ARE HERE.
This machine was entirely too clever! "Well, then, /
will have to do something."
DO WHAT?
" VVi teiw to \2&a. A& YBHTOE b-ask. fcy fas»l>. w kfj crook.''
10 Man from Mundania
BUT A PRINCESS IS NOT A CROOK.
"I'll make an exception."
THEN I WILL HAVE TO HOLD YOU CAPTIVE.
Ivy delivered a haughty stare. "Are you threatening me,
you crock?"
YES.
So much for bluffing! "Then it's war!"
IT ALWAYS WAS.
"War, then," she said boldly. "Where do you have the
mirror?"
WHY DO YOU WANT IT?
"Why should I tell you that?"
WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU WHERE IT IS?
Oh. "You mean you'll tell me where it is, if I tell you
why I want it?"
OF COURSE.
' 'I need it to take with me when I use the Heaven Cent.''
The screen blinked. This news had evidently taken the
machine aback. Then the words appeared: THE MIRROR is
IN THE CABINET BY THE BACK EXIT.
Ivy looked toward the rear of the cave. There was a
cabinet. She knew the machine could not tell an untruth,
but it could tell a partial truth. "Is the cabinet locked?"
NO.
"There must be some reason I can't get it, even if I
beat you."
THERE IS NO REASON.
"I don't believe it!"
GO TO THE CABINET. TAKE THE MIRROR.
"You're giving it to me?" she asked incredulously.
NO. I AM MERELY EVINCING MY GOOD FAITH. YOU MAY
HOLD THE MIRROR. IT DOES NOT MATTER, BECAUSE IF I
MAKE YOU CAPTIVE, THE MIRROR REMAINS CAPTIVE TOO.
Ivy walked to the cabinet. She pulled open its top
drawer. There was the magic mirror! She picked it up.
"Maybe it's the wrong mirror!" Nada exclaimed.
"Maybe it only looks like the one you want."
TEST IT, the machine printed imperturbably.
"Show me my brother," Ivy told the mirror.
Man from Mundania
n
Prince Dolph appeared in the mirror. He was sitting
quite still. That was suspicious.
"Show me the larger context," she said.
The image of Dolph shrank as the scope of the scene
increased. Now the image showed the boy sitting on Ivy's
bed, watching the magic Tapestry.
"That little stink hom!" Ivy exclaimed. "He sneaked
into my room to watch the Tapestry!"
"That figures," Nada said. "He does like it."
Ivy nodded. "Almost as well as he likes you," she
agreed.
The mirror was genuine. "All right. Pewter," Ivy said.
"Now it starts. I'm walking out of here—with the mir-
ror." She started walking toward the front of the cave.
PRINCESS IVY CHANGES HER MIND, the screen printed.
"Well, maybe not with the mirror," she said.
"Ivy!" Nada cried. "Don't let him rewrite the script!"
Ivy glared at the screen. "So you're doing it. Pewter!"
she said severely. "Well, it won't work! I'm not changing
my mind!" She resumed walking.
摘要：

Chapter1.HeavenCent•vywoke,stretched,andopenedhereyes.Itwasdawn;thesunhadnotyetquitedaredshowitsroundface,becausedarknessmadeitnervous,butsoonitwouldgetupitsnerve.ShelookedattheTapestry,withitsever-changingpictureofXanth.Sheneverreallytiredofwatch-ingit,thoughherinterestwaxedandwaned.Itwaxedwhenitra...

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