Anthony, Piers - Xanth 28 - Currant Events

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CURRANT EVENTS - PIERS ANTHONY - V2.2 - Jan 2005
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CURRANT EVENTS - PIERS ANTHONY - V2.2 - Jan 2005
Piers Anthony
TOR®
A tom doherty associates book new york
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CURRANT EVENTS - PIERS ANTHONY - V2.2 - Jan 2005
This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are either fictitious or
are used fictitiously.
CURRANT EVENTS
Copyright © 2004 by Piers Anthony Jacob
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form.
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
A Tor Book
Published by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010
www.tor.com
Tor* is a registered trademark of Tom Doherty Associates, LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Anthony, Piers.
Currant events / Piers Anthony.-1st Tor ed.
p. cm. - (Xanth ; #28) ISBN 0-765-30407-4 EAN 978-0765-30407-0
1. Xanth (Imaginary place)-Fiction. 2. Endangered species-Fiction. 3. Historiography- Fiction. 4.
Historians-Fiction. 5. Dragons-Fiction. I. Title.
PS3551.B73C87 2004 813'.54-dc22
2004048039
First Edition: October 2004
Printed in the United States of America
0987654321
Contents
1. Clio
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CURRANT EVENTS - PIERS ANTHONY - V2.2 - Jan 2005
2. Dragon World
3. Drew & Drusie
4. Dragon Net
5. Three Curses
6. Sherlock
7. Getaway Golem
8. Demon Wave
9. Elf Elm
10. Dream Man
11. Bad Dreams
12. Counter Xanth
13. Understanding
14. Conspiracy
15. Storm
16. Spancel
17. Litho
18. Garden
Author's Note
1
Clio
Clio was tidying up her office, as she did every century or so even if it didn't
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really need it. Dust did tend to collect, along with dried bugs, apple seeds, and
lost wisps of fog. Then she paused, which was easy to do during a dull chore like
this. There was a volume on the shelf she didn't remember. That was odd,
because she had an excellent memory. She had to, to be a competent Muse of
History.
She lifted it up, noting the clean spot of shelf beneath it. She blew off the dust
and looked at the title. She couldn't quite make it out, so she opened the volume
to the title page. That was written in her handwriting, but was somehow blurred.
It might be CURRENT EVENTS, but could also be GETTING EVEN. Neither
one made much sense, as she did not handle either contemporary news or
revenge plots. Her specialty was history, past and future. The present bored her.
She turned the pages. They had all been filled out, and definitely in her
handwriting, but she couldn't read a word of it. She blinked to clear her vision,
but it didn't help; every word was fuzzed. The pages might as well have been
blank.
She stood there, bemused. How could she have written a volume of history that
she herself couldn't read? It didn't make sense. Was she losing her sight?
Alarmed, she set the volume down and picked up the one next to it. That one
was clear enough: PET PEEVE, with a picture of a disgruntled bird. That was
incomplete, because it hadn't happened yet; she was working on it. So she
checked the prior volume: CUBE ROUTE, which was complete. That was the
story of a girl with gumption, and the text was quite clear.
So it wasn't her eyes, which was a relief. It was the volume. What was wrong
with it? And why couldn't she remember writing it? How could she be writing
the following volume, and remember its details, while being fuzzy on this one?
Fuzzy: her memory of it was as fuzzy as its print. There was definitely
something strange here.
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She considered for a good three and a half moments. She seemed to have two or
more unenviable choices: principally to let the riddle be, or go to Good Magician
Humfrey for advice. Humfrey could surely unravel the enigma, but would take
obscene pleasure in her predicament. She hated giving him that satisfaction. But
she knew the mystery would bug her until it became a downright nuisance.
She sighed. She would stuff her pride into her nonexistent handbag and go to see
the Good Magician.
Humfrey's castle was some distance away from the home of the Muses, so Clio
got transportation. She walked down Mount Parnassus and out to a babbling
brook and spoke to it. "May I have your attention for a moment?"
The brook ceased babbling and formed a swirling eye. It looked at her,
recognized her, and formed a mouth. "So good to see you, Muse," it bubbled.
"I need to pay a call on the Good Magician. Do you suppose I could prevail on
you to transport me there swiftly?"
"Gladly, Muse. I owe you favors from way back."
That was true, but she hadn't cared to put it that way. "Then I should be obliged
if you would run me there now."
The water humped up into a shape like that of a centaur without a human
forepart, standing in the riverbed. "Immediately," it agreed. "If I can make it past
the fish."
"The fish?"
"Recently there have been so many fish they clog my channel. It has never been
this bad before; normally the water dragons eat them."
"The dragons must be off their feed," she said. That was humor; dragons were
never off their feed. Still, it was an oddity.
Clio stepped close to the bank, glanced around to be sure no one was watching,
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then lifted one leg and swung it over the centaur's back. Skirts were not the most
convenient clothing for riding, but they were required for her gender and age.
She caught hold of the liquid creature's flowing mane and drew herself fully onto
it. "I am ready."
The legs of the water horse went into instant motion. It galloped down the
riverbed, following its twisting channel. It had to, because it was unable to run
anywhere else. But the running water was so swift that it would soon reach the
Good Magician's castle regardless of the indirectness of the route.
She looked down through the horse's translucent substance. Sure enough, the
channel was packed with fish so thick it was almost solid. She looked across the
landscape around the river channel, and saw rabbits in similar number; in places
they were like a gray blanket covering the ground. That was another oddity;
were the land dragons similarly off their feed?
She looked in the sky, and saw clouds of crows harassing the other flying
creatures. Where were the flying dragons? Normally crows were hardly in
evidence, because dragons toasted them on sight. Only in Mundania did they
really flourish, normally.
Soon they were in sight of the castle. There was a stream access to the moat that
enabled the water horse to reach it. In hardly more time than it took to see it,
they were there, splashing to a halt.
The moat monster was snoozing, hardly expecting any intrusion from this
direction. It lifted its head and gaped menacingly. Then it recognized the visitors,
nodded, and returned to its snooze.
"I thank you kindly," Clio said, dismounting. The water horse had stopped
beside a steep bank so that her foot could readily reach it. "Your swiftness was a
real pleasure."
The horse nodded, dripping with pleasure. Then it galloped back the way it had
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come. Running water could never pause long, or it lost its definition.
A sad young woman was walking away from the castle, staring at the ground.
"What's the matter?" Clio asked. "I'm Clio; maybe I can help."
"I'm Cayla. I came to ask the Good Magician what my talent is, because I haven't
found it yet." She twiddled nervously with a wooden twig she carried.
"That's something you usually just have to find out on your own," Clio said. "It's
almost impossible to guess."
"Yes, I've tried guessing," Cayla said. "It doesn't work." She twiddled some
more; the twig was taking a beating. In fact there were two twigs getting
intertwined.
"So did the Good Magician have the Answer for you?"
Cayla burst into tears. "No! I never got to see him. In fact I flunked the first
Challenge."
Clio was morbidly curious. "What was it?"
"It was a big square park set on its end. That is, one corner was toward me as I
came to it. I thought the challenge was to get in, but when I got in nothing
happened. There was a ball flying around in there, but I had no idea what to do
with it. I finally gave up." She blew her nose into a handkerchief, then returned
to twiddling the twigs.
A square park, set on its end. "A diamond!" Clio said. "A baseball diamond. You
weren't supposed to get 'in,' you needed to get an 'out.' By catching the ball."
Cayla looked at her. "I don't understand."
Clio realized that this would be complicated to explain. "It's only a guess." Then
she noticed something. The two twigs were not just intertwined, they were
knitted together. "Do you knit?"
"Yes, when I have wool."
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"Have you tried knitting other things?"
"Of course not. Why would I do that?"
"Look at those twigs."
"Oh, these are nothing. I'm just frustrated and nervous."
"They are knitted together."
Cayla looked. "Why so they are. But I don't have knitting needles."
"Try something else," Clio said. She looked around and found several bricks.
She picked two up. "Try these."
"Bricks? That's crazy!" But the girl took them and put them together.
The bricks twisted and merged. They were getting knitted together. "That's your
talent," Clio said. "You can knit wood and bricks. Maybe other things. Maybe
anything. You'll have to experiment and find out."
"Oh!" Cayla said, thrilled. "So I don't need the Good Magician after all!"
"You don't," Clio agreed, pleased. This was her first personal interaction with a
human person in regular Xanth in some time, and she was glad it had been
positive.
"Thank you so much! I was so sad; now I'm so happy." Cayla ran on along the
path.
Clio walked toward the drawbridge. This was the obvious way to cross the moat,
as she didn't wish to get her feet or skirt wet. But as she approached it, it lifted
off the bank, being drawn up by its chains.
"Halt!" she cried. "I wish to use you."
The bridge halted.
She arrived at its resting spot. "Now if you will just drop back down to the bank,
I shall be happy to set foot on your sturdy surface," she said.
The bridge started to drop, but a chain snarled and it got hung up. It was stuck a
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small but inconvenient distance above the ground.
Clio considered it, an unbecoming suspicion hovering at the fringe of her
awareness. It wasn't like the Good Magician to have flawed mechanisms. Was it
possible that this was not a malfunction? That she was being subjected to a
Challenge for entry?
No, of course not; she couldn't believe that of her old friend Humfrey. So it must
be a rare glitch in the mechanism.
"Hello the castle!" she called. "You appear to have a problem. The drawbridge is
stuck."
There was a little shed associated with the near side of the drawbridge. Now the
bridge tender emerged. "Harold the Handyman here. What can I do for you?"
"I am Clio, the Muse of History. I wish to confer with the Good Magician
Humfrey, but am unable to cross the moat. Can you fix the connection?"
"Sure, I'll be glad to lend a hand," Handy said, extending his right hand.
She took it. "Excellent. The lines seem to be snarled, so—EEEEEK!" Her
scream was a full five E's, and would have been six, had she not run out of
breath.
For the man's left hand had just reached around and goosed her right through her
skirt.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," Harold said, hastily retreating. "I forgot to warn you. I have
two hands."
"I appreciate that," she said somewhat coldly as she rubbed her indignant bottom.
"I mean, they're different. My right hand helps others, but my wrong hand roves.
I can't stop them."
She saw his problem. "Perhaps the Good Magician can help you with that
problem."
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