Asimov, Isaac - Magical Wishes

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June. 1977, issue of FANTASTIC magazine and was later rewritten and

incoiporaled into THE INCREDIBLE UMBRELLA (Doubleday, 1979). This

anthology employs the original magazine version of (he text. Reprinted by

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Hendersoa. Reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown. Lid.

Press, Inc. From THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION.

Reprinted by permission of the author.

by Isaac Asimov. Reprinted by permission of the author.

From THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION. Reprinted

by permission 01 Roberta Pryor and the Scott Meredith Literary Agency,

Inc.

Publications, Inc. Reprinted by permission of the Scon Meredith Literary

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Agency, Inc.. 845 Third Ave., New York. NY 10022.

Robert Sheckley. Reprinted by permission of Kirby McCautey, Ltd.

Publications, Inc. Reprinted by permission of the author.

Mercury Press, Inc. From THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE

FICTION. Reprinted by permission of the author.

Tbe following page constitutes an extension of this copyright page.

and Jacquelin Lewi Bynagta. Reprinted by permission of Sraadt & Brandl

Literary Agents. Inc.

SIGNET TXADGMAKK BBG. U.S MT OFf AND FOREIGN COlWniIES

REGISTCRED TRADEMARK—MARCA llBOtSTKADA

HECHO EN CHICAGO, U.S-A

SIGNET, SIGNET CLASSIC. MENTOR J)NYX. PLUME, MERIDIAN AND NAL BOOKS

are published by New American Library.

1633 Broadway, New York, New York 10019

Fust Printing. November, 1986

123456789

PRINTED IN THE WIVED STATES OF AMERICA

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION: "WISHING WILL MAKE IT SO"

by Isaac Asimov

THE MONKEY'S PAW

by W. W. Jacobs

BEHIND THE NEWS

by Jack Finney

THE FLIGHT OF THE UMBRELLA

by Marvin Kaye

TWEEN

by J. F. Bone

THE BOY WHO BROUGHT LOVE

by Edward D. Hoch

THE VACATION

by Ray Bradbury

THE ANYTHING BOX

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fry Zenna Henderson

A BORN CHARMER

by Edward P. Hughes

WHAT IP-

fry Isaac Asimov

MILLENNIUM

by Fredric Brown

DREAMS ARE SACRED

by Peter Philtips

THE SAME TO YOU DOUBLED

by Robert Sheckley

GIFTS. . .

by Gordon R. Dickson

I WISH I MAY. 1 WISH I MIGHT

by Bill Pronzini

THREE DAY MAGIC

by Charlotte Armstrong

THE BOTTLE IMP

by Robert Louis Stevenson

206

216

230

234

321

INTRODUCTION:

WISHING WILL MAKE IT SO

by Isaac Asimov

When I was much younger than 1 am now, I heard the

philosophical comment: "It takes a million dollars to make a

millionaire, but a pauper can be poor without a penny."

When I was a tittle older I listened to Sid Caesar playing

me rote of a Teutonic mountaineer. Carl Reiner said to him,

"Tell me. Professor, how long does it take a person to

negotiate the distance between the top and bottom of a

mountain?"

Said Sid, "Two minutes."

Carl said. with considerable astonishment, "It takes only

two minutes to climb a mountain?"

To which Sid said, with disgust. "Not climb. To negotiate

me distance from the top down to the bottom—two minutes.

Climbing is a different thing altogether.''

I've thought about such things, and it became clear to me

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mat both the examples I have given are representative of a

general stale of affairs that can best be expressed as follows:

"Lousy things are no trouble."

For instance, it's no trouble to go hungry. You don't need

money, and you don't have to make an effort. You just sit

there. Getting yourself outside a square meal can be very

troublesome, however.

Again, suppose that someone brings you all the food you

can eat. In that case, it's getting fat that requires no effort (if

you don't count the tiny effort it takes to lift the food to your

mouth, chew, and swallow). To avoid getting fat, however,

means eating less than you probably want to and engaging in

vigorous exercise besides.

Isaac Asuaov

This is not something that has escaped the notice of hu-

manity generally. I'm absolutely certain that even the mean-

est intelligence has noticed how readily one can be poor,

hungry, thirsty, cold in the winter, hot in the summer, while

finding oneself with nothing to wear, nothing to read, and

nothing pleasant to do.

Not only does one have to take trouble and make an effort

in order to avoid all these lousy things for which there is no

charge, but there is no limit on the quantity of trouble and

effort you may have to make. Most people can work hard all

their lives and stint no effort doing so, and yet find them-

selves far short of the millionaire mark when they're through.

You may want to marry a rich man's gorgeous daughter

(or, if you are a woman, his handsome son), and for that

purpose you may bring into play every bit of charm you

have—and get nowhere. This may start you brooding over the

fact that you can probably, without any effort at all, succeed

in marrying any number of very poor. very ugly women (or

men).

Well, then. what are you going to do? You crave pleasant

things which take more of an effort than you can possibly

pump up in a lifetime of pumping, and you want to avoid

unpleasant things that arc being forced upon you against your

will and mat then stick to you despite your shouts of dismay.

It is easy to decide that there is something wrong with this.

In a properly run Universe, surely you deserve to get some-

thing simply because you want it. Even though this doesn't

seem to happen, there must surely be some trick to bring it

about. Perhaps there is some formula or spell that will give

you anything you want; you need only wish for it. Or else ^

perhaps mere is some supernatural being willing to gratify •^

you under certain conditions. Perhaps there is some wishing "''_

object that already exists, manufactured who knows how, that ^

you need only find in order to gratify your every wish. ^

Folklore of every kind includes tales of magic wishes, and H.

the most successful of all such stories is to be found in The ^

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Thousand and One Nights (more commonly known as The (

Arabian Nights). What child isn't fascinated by the tale of

Aladdin and his lamp and doesn't fantisize having such a lamp

INTRODUCTION 11

for himself? I experienced both the fascination and the fan-

tasy in copious quantities when I was young.

(Incidentally, we modems still believe in the power of

wishing. We call it "praying," of course, and, all too fre-

quently, praying is simply a way of substituting God for the

Slave of the Lamp and making him run our errands for us.)

Of course, some such tales caution against overweening

greed. Midas, having wished that everything he touched would

turn to gold, found he had gone too far and had left himself

no way of eating or drinking, scr he had to beg to get the wish

canceled.

In other stories, the wishes are limited in number, most

often to three, and then, invariably, there is a problem in

deciding what the wishes ought to be. Almost as invariably,

me choices prove unfortunate.

This instinctive suspicion that the notion that wishing will

make it so is nonsense was given its final support by the taws

of thermodynamics. The first law says that the amount of

energy is limited and the second says (in scientific terms)

exactly what 1 said earlier—that lousy things are no trouble,

but that to accomplish anything desirable takes an effort.

What's more, me laws of thermodynamics hold for every-

thing in the Universe, including Slaves of the Lamp.

And yet... and yet...

Even if we are grown-up, hardheaded, and scientific, and

have put childish things behind us. there is still this hanker-

ing. Even though we know that wishing will not make it so,

we can't help but wish that wishing will make it so.

Here, then, are sixteen stones in which wishes, in one

way or another, are involved. And just to make sure that you

will be hooked by them, the first story, "The Monkey's

Paw," is, to my way of thinking, the best such story ever

written, and the grisliest. How I envy you, if you've never

come across it and will now read it for the first time.

So suspend your disbelief for a while and enjoy.

THE MONKEY'S PAW

by W. W. Jacobs

Without, the night was cold and wet, but in the small parlour

of Laburnum Villa the blinds were drawn and the fire burned

brightly- Father and son were at chess; the former, who

possessed ideas about the game involving radical changes,

putting his king into such sharp and unnecessary perils that it

even provoked comment from the white-haired old lady knit-

ting placidly by the fire.

"Hark at the wind," said Mr. White, who, having seen a

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fatal mistake after it was too late, was amiably desirous of

preventing his son from seeing it.

"I'm listening," said the latter, grimly surveying the board

as he stretched out his hand. "Check."

"I should hardly think that he'd come to-night," said his

father, with his hand poised over the board.

"Mate," replied the son.

"That's the worst of living so far out." bawled Mr. White,

with sudden and untooked-for violence; "of all the beastly,

slushy, out-of-the-way places to live in, this is the worst.

Path's a bog, and the road's a torrent. I don't know what

people are thinking about. I suppose because only two houses ^

in the road are let. they think it doesn't matter."

"Never mind, dear," said his wife soothingly; "perhaps

you'll win the next one."

Mr. White looked up sharply, just in time to intercept a

knowing glance between mother and son. The words died

THE MONKEY'S PAW 13

away on his lips, and he hid a guilty grin in his thin gray

beard.

"There he is," said Herbert White, as the gate banged to

loudly and heavy footsteps came toward the door.

The old man rose with hospitable haste, and opening the

door, was heard condoling with the new arrival. The new

arrival also condoled with himself, so that Mrs. White said,

"Tut tut!" and coughed gently as her husband entered the

room, followed by a tall, burly man, beady of eye and

rubicund of visage.

"Sergeant-Major Moms,*' he said, introducing him.

The sergeant-major shook hands, and taking the proffered

seat by the fire, watched contentedly while his host got out

whisky and tumblers and stood a small copper kettle on the

fire.

At the third glass his eyes got brighter, and he began to

talk, the little family circle regarding with eager interest this

visitor from distant parts, as he squared his broad shoulders in

the chair, and spoke of wild scenes and doughty deeds; of

wars and plagues, and strange peoples.

"Twenty-one years of it," said Mr. White, nodding at his

wife and son. "When he went away he was a slip of a youth

in the warehouse. Now look at him."

"He don't look to have taken much harm," said Mrs.

White politely.

"I'd like to go to India myself," said the old man, "just to

look around a bit, you know."

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"Better where you are," said the sergeant-major, shaking

his head. He put down the empty glass, and sighing softly,

shook it again.

"1 should like to see those old temples and fakirs and

jugglers," said the old man. "What was that you started

telling me the other day about a monkey's paw or something,

Morris?"

"Nothing," said the soldier hastily. "Leastways nothing

worth hearing."

"Monkey's paw?" said Mrs. White curiously-

"Wetl, it's just a bit of what you might call magic, per-

haps," said the sergeant-major off-handedly.

His three listeners leaned forward eagerly. The visitor absent-

W. W. Jacobs

mmdodly put his empty glass to his lips and then set it down

again. His host filled it for him.

"To look at," said the sergeant-major, fumbling in his

pocket, "it's just an ordinary little paw, dned to a mummy."

He took something out of his pocket and proffered it. Mrs.

White drew back with a gnmace, but her son, taking it,

examined it curiously.

"And what is there special about it?" inquired Mr. White

as he took it from his son, and having examined it, placed it

upon the table.

"It had a spell put on it by an old fakir," said the sergeant-

major, "a very holy man. He wanted to show that fate ruled

people's lives, and that those who interfered with it did so to

their sorrow. He put a spell on it so that three separate men

could each have three wishes from it."

His manner was so impressive that his hearers were con-

scious that their light laughter jarred somewhat.

"Well, why don't you have three, sir?" said Herbert White

cleverly.

The soldier regarded him in the way that middle age is

wont to regard presumptuous youth. "I have," he said qui-

etly, and his blotchy face whitened.

"And did you really have the three wishes granted?" asked

Mrs. White.

"1 did," said me sergeant-major, and his glass tapped

against his strong teeth.

"And has anybody else wished?" persisted the old lady.

"The first man had his three wishes. Yes," was the reply;

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"I don't know what the first two were, but the third was for

death. That's how I got the paw."

His tones were so grave that a hush felt upon me group.

"If you've had your three wishes, it's no good to you now

then, Morris," said the old man at last. "What do you keep it

for?"

The soldier shook his head. "Fancy, I suppose." he said

slowly. "1 did have some idea of selling it, but 1 don't think I

will. It has caused enough mischief already. Besides, people

won't buy. They think it's a fairy tale, some of them; and

those who do think anything of it want to try it first and pay

m6 afterward."

THE MONKEY'S PAW 15

^ "If you could have another three wishes." said the old

man, eyeing him keenly, "would you have them?"

"I don't know," said me other. "I don't know."

^ He look the paw. and dangling it between his forefinger

^ and thumb, suddenly threw it upon the fire. White, with a

F slight cry, stooped down and snatched it off.

"Better let it bum," said the soldier solemnly.

"If you don't want it, Morris," said the other, "give it to

me."

"I won't," said his friend doggedly. "I threw it on the

^ fire. If you keep it, don't blame me for what happens- Pitch it

^ on the fire again tike a sensible man."

?? The other shook his head and examined his new possession

closely. "How do you do it?" he inquired.

"Hold it up in your right hand and wish aloud," said the

sergeant-major, "but I warn you of the consequences."

^ "Sounds tike the Arabian Nights," said Mrs. White, as

f she rose and began to set the supper. "Don't you think you

"^. might wish for four pairs of hands for me?"

;' Her husband drew the talisman from his pocket, and men

all three burst into laughter as the sergeant-major, with a took

of alarm on his face, caught him by the arm.

? "If you must wish,*' he said gruffly, "wish for something

sensible."

Mr. White dropped it back in his pocket, and placing

chairs, motioned his friend to the table. In the business of

supper the talisman was partly forgotten, and afterward the

', three sat listening in an enthralled fashion to a second install-

q ment of the soldier's adventures in India.

-s "If die tale about me monkey's paw is not more truthful

I, than those he has been telling us," said Herbert, as the door

^ closed behind their guest, just in time to catch the last train,

\ "we shan't make much out of it."

^ "Did you give him anything for it, father?" inquired Mrs.

'J| White, regarding her husband closely.

f "A trifle," said he, colouring slightly. "He didn't want it.

|f but I made him take it. And he pressed me again to throw it

^ away."

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"Likely," said Herbert, with pretended horror. "Why,

we're going to be rich, and famous, and happy. Wish to be

W. W. Jacobs

an emperor, father, to begin with; then you can't be ten-

peeked."

He darted round the table, pursued by the maligned Mrs.

White armed with an antimacassar.

Mr- White took the paw from his pocket and eyed it

dubiously. "I don't know what to wish for, and that's a

fact," he said slowly. "It seems to me I've got all I want."

"If you only cleared the house, you'd be quite happy,

wouldn't you!" said Herbert, with his hand on his shoulder.

"Well, wish for two hundred pounds, then; that'll just do it."

His father, smiling shamefacedly at his own credulity, held

up the talisman, as his son, with a solemn face, somewhat

marred by a wink at his mother, sat down at the piano and

struck a few impressive chords-

"I wish for two hundred pounds," said the old man

distinctly.

A fine crash from the piano greeted the words, interrupted

by a shuddering cry from the old man. His wife and son ran

toward him.

"It moved." be cried, with a glance of disgust at the

object as it lay on the floor. "As I wished, it twisted in my

hand like a snake."

"Well, I don't see the money," said his son, as he picked

it up and placed it on the table, "and I bet I never shall,"

"It must have been your fancy, father," said his wife,

regarding him anxiously.

He shook his head. "Never mind, though; there's no harm

done, but it gave me a shock all the same."

They sat down by the fire again while the two men finished

their pipes. Outside, the wind was higher than ever, and the

old man started nervously at the sound of a door banging

upstairs. A silence unusual and depressing settled upon al!

three, which lasted until the old couple rose to retire for the

night.

"I expect you'll find the cash tied up in a big bag in the

middle of your bed," said Herbert, as he bade them good

night, "and something horrible squatting up on top of the

wardrobe watching you pocket your ill-gotten gains."

He sat alone in the darkness, gazing at the dying fire, and

seeing faces in it. The last face was so horrible and so simian

THE MONKEY'S PAW 17

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that he gazed at it with amazement, ft got so vivid that, with

a little uneasy laugh, he felt on the table for a glass contain-

ing a tittle/ water to throw over it. His hand grasped the

monkey's paw, and with a little shiver he wiped his hand on

his coat and went up to bed.

In the brightness of the wintery sun next morning as it

streamed over the breakfast table he laughed at his fears.

There was an air of prosaic wholesomeness about the room

which it had lacked on the previous night, and the dirty,

shrivelled little paw was pitched on the side-board with a

carelessness which betokened no great belief in its virtues.

"I suppose all old soldiers are the same," said Mrs. White.

"The idea of our listening to such nonsense! How could

wishes be granted in these days? And if they could, how

could two hundred pounds hurl you. father?"

"Might drop on his head from the sky," said the frivolous

Herbert.

"Morris said the things happened so naturally," said his

father, "that you might if you so wished attribute it to

coincidence.''

"Well, don't break into the money before I come back,"

said Herbert as he rose from the table. "I'm afraid it'll turn

you into a mean, avaricious man, and we will have to disown

you."

His mother laughed, and following him to the door, watched

him down the road; and returning to the breakfast table, was

very happy at the expense of her husband's credulity. All of

which did not prevent her from scurrying to the door at the

postman's knock, nor prevent her from referring somewhat

shortly to retired sergeant-majors of bibulous habits when she

found that the post brought a tailor's bill.

"Herbert will have some more of his funny remarks, I

expect, when he comes home," she said, as they sat at dinner.

"I dare say," said Mr. White, pouring himself out some

beer; "but for all that, the thing moved in my hand; that I'll

swear to."

IV. W. Jacobs

"You thought it did," said the old lady soothingly.

"I say it did," replied the other. "There was no thought

about it; I had jusl— What's the matter?"

His wife made no reply. She was watching the mysterious

movements of a man outside, who, peering in an undecided

fashion at the house, appeared to be trying to make up his

mind to enter. In mental connection with the two hundred

pounds, she noticed that the stranger was well dressed, and

wore a silk hat of glossy newness. Three times he paused at

the gate, and then walked on again. The fourth time he stood

with his hand upon it, and then with a sudden resolution flung

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Asimov, Isaac - Magical Wishes

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