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These days I look at twenty-year-olds and think they are pathetically young, scarcely weaned from
their mothers' tits, but when I was twenty I considered myself a full-grown man. I had fathered a child,
fought in the shield wall, and was loath to take orders from anyone. In short I was arrogant, stupid and
headstrong. That is why, after our victory at Cynuit, I did the wrong thing.
We had fought the Danes beside the ocean, where the river runs from the great swamp and the
Saefern Sea slaps on a muddy shore, and there we had beaten them. We had made a great slaughter
and I, Uhtred of Bebbanburg, had done my part. In fact, more than my part, for at the battle's end,
when the great Lothbrokson, most feared of all the Danish leaders, had cut into our shield wall with his
great war axe, I had faced him, beat him and sent him to join the einherjar, that army of the dead to
feast and swive in Odin's corpse-hall.
What I should have done then, what Leofric told me to do, is to ride hard to Exanceaster where
Alfred, King of the West Saxons was besieging Guthrum. I should have arrived deep in the night, woken
the king from his sleep and laid Ubba's battle bane of the black raven and Ubba's great war axe, its
blade still stained with blood, at Alfred's feet. I should have given the king the news that the Danish
army was beaten, that the few survivors had been taken to their dragon-headed ships, that Wessex was
safe and that I, Uhtred of Bebbanburg, had achieved all of those things. Instead I rode to find my wife
and child.
At twenty years old I would rather have been ploughing Mildrith than reaping the reward of my
good fortune, and that is what I did wrong, but, looking back, I have few regrets. Fate is inexorable,
and Mildrith, though I had not wanted to marry her and though I came to detest her, was a lovely field
to plough.
So, in that late spring of the year 877, I spent the Saturday riding to Cridianton instead of going to
Alfred. I took twenty men with me and I promised Leofric that we would be at Exanceaster by midday
on Sunday and I would make certain Alfred knew we had won his battle and saved his kingdom.
'Odda the Younger will be there by now,' Leofric warned me. Leofric was almost twice my age, a
warrior hardened by years of fighting the Danes. 'Did you hear me?' he asked when I said nothing.
'Odda the Younger will be there by now,' he said again, 'and he's a piece of goose shit who'll take all the
credit.'
'The truth cannot be hidden,' I said loftily.
Leofric mocked that. He was a bearded squat brute of a man who should have been the commander
of Alfred's fleet, but he was not well-born and Alfred had reluctantly given me charge of the twelve
ships because I was an ealdorman, a noble, and it was only fitting that a high-born man should
command the West Saxon fleet even though it had been much too puny to confront the massive array
of Danish ships that had come to Wessex's south coast. 'There are times,' Leofric grumbled, 'when you
are an earsling.' An earsling was something that had dropped out of a creature's backside and was one
of Leofric's favourite insults. We were friends.
'We'll see Alfred tomorrow,' I said.
'And Odda the Younger,' Leofric said patiently, 'has seen him today.'
Odda the Younger was the son of Odda the Elder who had given my wife shelter, and the son did
not like me. He did not like me because he wanted to plough Mildrith, which was reason enough for
him to dislike me. He was also, as Leofric said, a piece of goose shit, slippery and slick, which was
reason enough for me to dislike him.