Robert A Heinlein - I will fear no evil

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2024-12-05 0 0 1.65MB 357 页 5.9玖币
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I WILL FEAR NO EVIL
Robert A. Heinlein
Note: The National Rare Blood Club (mentioned herein) is a nonprofit
organization having its national headquarters at 164 Fifth Avenue, New
York, N. Y. 10010, telephone (212) Chelsea 3-8037. R.A.H.
To Rex and Kathleen
1
The room was old-fashioned, 1980 baroque, but it was wide, long, high, and
luxurious. Near simulated view windows stood an automated hospital bed. It
looked out of place but was largely concealed by a magnificent Chinese
screen. Forty feet from it a boardroom table also failed to match the decor.
At the head of this table was a life-support wheelchair; wires and tubings
ran from it to the bed.
Near the wheelchair, at a mobile stenodesk crowded with directional mikes,
voice typewriter, clock-calendar, controls, and the usual ancillaries, a young
woman sat. She was beautiful.
Her manner was that of the perfect unobtrusive secretary but she was
dressed in a current exotic mode. "Half & Half"-right shoulder and breast
and arm concealed in jet-black knit, left leg sheathed in a scarlet tight,
panty-ruffle in both colors joining them, black sandal on the scarlet side, red
sandal on her bare right foot. Her skin paint was patterned in the same
scarlet and black.
On the other side of the wheelchair was an older woman garbed in a
nurse's conventional white pantyhose and smock. She ignored everything
but her dials and a patient in the chair. Seated around the table were a
dozen-odd men, most of them in spectator-sports style affected by older
executives.
Cradled in the life-support chair was a very old man. Except for restless
eyes, he looked like a poor job of embalming. No cosmetic help had been
used to soften the brutal fact of his decrepitude.
"Ghoul," he was saying softly to a man halfway down the table. "You're a
slavering ghoul, Parky me boy. Didn't your father teach you that it is polite
to wait for a man to stop kicking before you bury him? Or did you have a
father? Erase that last, Eunice. Gentlemen, Mr. Parkinson has moved that I
be invited to resign as chairman of the board. Do I hear a second?"
He waited, looking from face to face, then said, "Oh, come now! Who is
letting you down, Parky? You,
George?"
"I had nothing to do with it."
"But you would love to vote 'Aye.' Motion fails for want of a second."
"I withdraw my motion."
"Too late, Parkinson. Erasures are made only by unanimous consent,
implied or overt. One objection is enough-and I, Johann Sebastian Bach
Smith, do so object... and that rule controls because 1 wrote it before you
learned to read.
"But"-Smith looked around at the others-"I do have news. As you heard
from Mr. Teal, all our divisions are in satisfactory shape; Sea Ranches and
General Textbooks are more than satisfactory-so this is a good time for me
to retire."
Smith waited, then said, "You can close your mouths. Don't look smug,
Parky; I have more news for you. I stay on as chairman of the board but will
no longer be chief executive. Our chief counsel, Mr. Jake Salomon,
becomes deputy chairman and-"
"Hold it, Johann. I am not going to manage this five-ring circus."
"Nobody said you would, Jake. But you can preside at board meetings
when I'm not available. Is that too much to ask?"
"Mmm, I suppose not."
"Thank you. I'm resigning as president of Smith Enterprises, and Mr. Byram
Teal becomes our president and chief executive officer-he's doing the work;
it's time he got the title-and pay and stock options and all the perks and
privileges and tax loopholes. No more than fair."
Parkinson said, "Now see here, Smith!"
"Hold it, youngster. Don't start a remark to me with 'Now see here-' Address
me as 'Mr. Smith' or Mr. Chairman.' What is your point?"
Parkinson controlled himself, then said, "Very well, Mister Smith. I can't
accept this. Quite aside from promoting your assistant to the office of
president in one jump-utterly unheard of!-if there is a change in
management, 1 must be considered. I represent the second largest block of
voting stock."
"I did consider you for president, Parky."
"You did?"
"Yep. I thought about it...and snickered."
"Why, you-"
"Don't say it, I might sue. What you forget is that my block has voting
control. Now about your block- By company policy anyone representing five
2
percent or more of voting stock is automatically on the board even if nobody
loves him and he suffers from spiritual bad breath. Which describes both
you and me.
"Or did describe you. Byram, what's the late word on proxies and stock
purchases?"
"A full report, Mr. Smith?"
"No, just tell Mr. Parkinson where he stands."
"Yes, sir. Mr. Parkinson, you now control less than five percent of the voting
stock."
Smith added sweetly, "So you're fired, you young ghoul. Jake, call a special
stockholders' meeting, legal notice, all formalities, for the purpose of giving
Parky a gold watch and kicking him out-and electing his successor. Further
business? None. Meeting's adjourned. Stick around, Jake. You, too,
Eunice. And Byram, if you have anything on your mind."
Parkinson jumped to his feet. "Smith, you haven't heard the last of this!"
"Oh, no doubt," the old man said sweetly. "Meantime my respects to your
mother-in-law and tell her that Byram will go on making her rich even
though I've fired you."
Parkinson left abruptly. Others started to leave. Smith said mildly, "Jake,
how does a man get to be fifty years old without acquiring horse sense?
Only smart thing that lad ever did was pick a rich mother-in-law. Yes,
Hans?"
"Johann," Hans von Ritter said, leaning on the table and speaking directly
to the chairman, "I did not like your treatment of Parkinson."
"Thanks. You're honest with me to my face. Scarce these days."
"Removing him from the board is okay; he's an obstructionist. But there was
no need to humiliate him."
"I suppose not. One of my little pleasures, Hans. I don't have many these
days."
A Simplex footman rolled in, hung the vacated chairs on its rack, rolled out;
von Ritter continued: "1 have no intention of being treated that way. If you
want nothing but Yes men on your board, let us note that I control much
less than five percent of the voting stock. Do you want my resignation?"
"Good God, no! I need you, Hans-and Byram will need you still more. I can't
use trained seals; a man has to have the guts to disagree with me, or he's a
waste of space. But when a man bucks me,. I want him to do it intelligently.
You do. You've forced me to change my mind several times-not easy,
stubborn as I am. Now about this other-sit down. Eunice, whistle up that
easy chair for Dr. von Ritter."
The chair approached; von Ritter waved it back, it retreated. "No, I haven't
time to be cajoled. What do you want?" He straightened up; the boardroom
3
table folded its legs, turned on edge, and glided away through a slot in the
wall.
"Hans, I've surrounded myself with men who don't like me, not a Yes man
or trained seal among them. Even Byram-especially Byram-got his job by
contradicting me and being right. Except when he's been wrong and that's
why he needs men like you on the board. But Parkinson- I was entitled to
clip him-publicly-because he called for my resignation-publicly.
Nevertheless you are right, Hans; 'tit for tat' is childish. Twenty years ago-
even ten-I would never have humiliated a man. If a man operates by reflex,
as most do instead of using their noggins, humiliating him forces him to try
to get even. I know better. But I'm getting senile, as we all know."
Von Ritter said nothing. Smith Went on, "Will you stick?-and help keep
Byram steady?"
"Uh...I'll stick. As long as you behave yourself." He turned to leave.
"Fair enough. Hans? Will you dance at my wake?"
Von Bitter looked back and grinned. "I'd be delighted!"
"Thought so. Thanks, Hans. G'bye."
Smith said to Byram Teal, "Anything, son?"
"Assistant Attorney General coming from Washington tomorrow to talk to
you about our Machine Tools Division buying control of Homecrafts, Ltd. I
think-"
"To talk to you. If you can't handle him, I picked the wrong man. What
else?"
"At Sea Ranch number five we lost a man at the fifty-fathom line. Shark."
"Married?"
"No, sir. Nor dependent parents."
"Well, do the pretty thing, whatever it is. You have those videospools of me,
the ones that actor fellow dubbed the sincere voice onto. When we lose one
of our own, we can't have the public thinking we don't give a hoot."
Jake Salomon added, "Especially when we don't." Smith clucked at him.
"Jake, do you have a way to look into my heart? It's our policy to be lavish
with death benefits, plus the little things that mean so much."
"-and look so good. Johann, you don't, have a heart-just dials and
machinery. Furthermore you never did have."
Smith smiled. "Jake, for you we'll make an exception. When you die, we'll
try not to notice. No flowers, not even the customary black-bordered page in
our house organs."
"You won't have anything to say about it, Johann. I'll outlive you twenty
years."
"Going to dance at my wake?"
"I don't dance," the lawyer answered, "but you tempt me to learn."
4
"Don't bother, I'll outlive you. Want to bet? Say a million to your favorite tax
deduction? No, I can't bet; I need your help to stay alive. Byram, check with
me tomorrow. Nurse, leave us; I want to talk with my lawyer."
"No, sir. Dr. Garcia wants a close watch on you at all times."
Smith looked thoughtful. "Miss Bedpan, I acquired my speech habits before
the Supreme Court took up writing dirty words on sidewalks. But I will try to
use words plain enough for you to understand. I am your employer. I pay
your wages. This is my home. I told you to get out. That's an order."
The nurse looked stubborn, said nothing.
Smith sighed. "Jake, I'm getting old-I forget that they follow their own rules.
Will you locate Dr. Garcia-somewhere in the house-and find out how you
and I can have a private conference in spite of this too faithful watchdog?"
Shortly Dr. Garcia arrived, looked over dials and patient, conceded that
telemetering would do for the time being. "Miss MacIntosh, shift to the
remote displays."
"Yes, Doctor. Will you send for a nurse to relieve me? I want to quit this
assignment."
"Now, Nurse-"
"Just a moment, Doctor," Smith put in. "Miss MacIntosh, I apologize for
calling you, 'Miss Bedpan' Childish of me, another sign of increasing
senility. But, Doctor, if she must leave-I hope she won't-bill me for a
thousand-dollar bonus for her. Her attention to duty has been
perfect...despite many instances of unreasonable behavior on my part."
"Oh...see me outside, Nurse."
When doctor and nurse had left Salomon said dryly, "Johann, you are
senile only when it suits you."
Smith chuckled. "I do take advantage of age and illness. What other
weapons have I left?"
"Money."
"Ah, yes. Without money I wouldn't be alive. But I am childishly bad-
tempered these days. You could chalk it up to the fact that a man who has
always been active feels frustrated by being imprisoned. But it's simpler to
call it senility...since God and my doctor know that my body is senile."
"I call it stinking bad temper, Johann, not senility-since you can control it
when you want to. Don't use it on me; I won't stand for it."
Smith chuckled. "Never, Jake; I need you. Even more than I need Eunice-
though she's ever so much prettier than you. How about it, Eunice? Has my
behavior been bad lately?"
His secretary shrugged-producing complex secondary motions pleasant to
see. "You're pretty stinky at times, Boss. But I've learned to ignore it."
"You see, Jake? If Eunice refused to put up with it-as you do-I'd be the
sweetest boss in the land. As it is, I use her as a safety valve."
5
Salomon said, "Eunice, any time you get fed up with this vile-tempered old
wreck you can work for me, at the same salary or higher."
"Eunice, your salary just doubled!"
"Thank you, Boss," she said promptly. "I've recorded it. And the time." I'll
notify Accounting."
Smith cackled. "See why I keep her? Don't try to outbid me, you old goat,
you don't have enough chips."
"Senile," Salomon growled. "Speaking of money, whom do you want to put
into Parkinson's slot?"
"No rush, he was a blank file. Do you have a candidate, Jake?"
"No. Although after this last little charade it occurs to me that Eunice might
be a good bet."
Eunice looked startled, then dropped all expression. Smith looked
thoughtful. "It had not occurred to me. But it might be a perfect solution.
Eunice, would you be willing to be a director of the senior corporation?"
Eunice flipped her machine to "NOT RECORDING."
"You're both making fun of me! Stop it."
"My dear," Smith said gently, "you know I don't joke about money. As for
Jake, it is the only subject sacred to him-he sold his daughter and his
grandmother down to Rio."
"Not my daughter," Salomon objected. "Just Grandmother...and the old girl
didn't fetch much. But it gave us a spare bedroom."
"But, Boss, I don't know anything about running a business!"
"You wouldn't have to. Directors don't manage, they set policy. But you do
know more about running it than most of our directors; you've been on the
inside for years. Plus almost inside during the time you were my secretary's
secretary before Mrs. Bierman retired. But here are advantages I see in
what may have been a playful suggestion on Jake's part. You are already
an officer of the corporation as Special Assistant Secretary assigned to
record for the board-and I made you that, you'll both remember, to shut up
Parkinson when he bellyached about my secretary being present during an
executive session. You'll go on being that-and my personal secretary, too;
can't spare you-while becoming a director. No conflict, you'll simply vote as
well as recording. Now we come to the key question: Are you willing to vote
the way Jake votes?"
She looked solemn. "You wish me' to, sir?"
"Or the way I do if I'm present, which comes to the same thing. Think back
and you'll see that Jake and I have always voted the same way on basic
policy-settling it ahead of time-while wrangling and voting against each
other on things that don't matter. Read the old minutes, you'll spot it."
"I noticed it long ago," she said simply, "but didn't think it was my place to
comment."
6
"Jake, she's our new director. One more point, my dear: If it turns out that
we need your spot, will you resign? You won't lose by it."
"Of course, sir. I don't have to be paid to agree to that."
"You still won't lose by it. I feel better. Eunice, I've had to turn management
over to Teal; I'll be turning policy over to Jake-you know the shape I'm in. I
want lake to have as many sure votes backing him as possible. Oh we can
always fire directors. . . but it is best not to have to do so, a fact von Bitter
rubbed my nose in. Okay, you're a director. We'll formalize it at that
stockholders' meeting. Welcome to the ranks of the Establishment. Instead
of a wage slave, you have sold out and are now a counterrevolutionary,
warmongering, rat-fink, fascist dog. How does it feel?"
"Not 'dog," Eunice objected. "The rest is lovely but 'dog' is the wrong sex;
I'm female. A bitch."
"Eunice, I not only do not use such words with ladies around, you know that
I do not care to hear them from ladies."
"Can a 'rat-fink fascist' be a lady? Boss, I learned that word in kindergarten.
Nobody minds it today."
"I learned it out behind the barn and let's keep it there."
Salomon growled. "I don't have time to listen to amateur lexicologists. Is the
conference over?"
"What? Not at all! Now comes the top-secret part, the reason I sent the
nurse out. So gather ye round."
"Johann, before you talk secrets, let me ask one question. Does that bed
have a mike on it? Your chair may be bugged, too."
"Eh?" the old man looked thoughtful. "I used a call button. . . until they
started standing a heel-and-toe watch on me."
"Seven to two you're bugged. Eunice my dear, can you trace the circuits
and make sure?"
"Uh . . . I doubt it. The circuitry isn't much like my stenodesk. But I'll look."
Eunice left her desk, studied the console on the back of the wheelchair.
"These two dials almost certainly have mikes hooked to them; they're
respiration and heart beat. But they don't show voices as my voice does not
make the needles jiggle. Filtered out, I suppose. "But"-she looked
thoughtful-"voice could be pulled off either circuit ahead of a filter. I do
something like that, in reverse, whenever I record with a high background
db. I don't know what these dials do. Darn it, I, might spot a voice
circuit...but I could never be sure that there was not one. Or two. Or three.
I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, dear," the lawyer said soothingly. "There hasn't been real
privacy in this country since the middle of the twentieth century-why, I could
phone a man I know of and have you photographed in your bath I and you
would never know it."
7
"Really? What a dreadful idea. How much does this person charge for such
a job?"
"Plenty. Depends on difficulty and how much chance he runs of being
prosecuted. Never less than a couple of thousand and then up like a kite.
But he can do it."
"Well!" Eunice looked thoughtful, then smiled. "Mr. Salomon, if you ever
decide that you must have such a picture of me, phone me for a competitive
bid. My husband has an excellent Chinese camera and I would rather have
him photograph me in my bath than some stranger."
"Order, please," Smith said mildly. "Eunice, if you want to sell skin pictures
to that old lecher, do it on your own time. I don't know anything about these
gadgets but I know how to solve this. Eunice, go out to where they
telemeter me-I think it's next door in what used to be my upstairs lounge.
You'll find Miss MacIntosh there. Hang around three minutes. I'll wait two
minutes; then I'll call out: Miss Macintosh! Is Mrs. Branca there?' If you hear
me, we'll know she's snooping. If you don't, come back at the end of three
minutes."
"Yes, sir. Do I give Miss MacIntosh any reason for this?"
"Give the old battle-ax any stall you like. I simply want to know if she is
eavesdropping."
"Yes, sir." Eunice started to leave the room. She pressed the door switch
just as its buzzer sounded. The door snapped aside, revealing Miss
MacIntosh, who jumped in surprise.
The nurse recovered and said bleakly, to Mr. Smith, "May 1 come in for a
moment?"
"Certainly."
"Thank you, sir." The nurse went to the bed, pulled its screen aside,
touched four switches on its console, replaced the screen. Then she
planted herself in front of her patient and said, "Now you have complete
privacy, so far as my equipment is concerned. Sir."
"Thank you."
"I am not supposed to cut the voice monitors except on Doctor's orders. But
you had privacy anyhow. I am as bound to respect a patient's privacy as .a
doctor is, I never listen to sickroom conversation. I don't even hear it! Sir."
"Get your feathers down. If you weren't listening, how did you know we
were discussing the matter?"
"Oh! Because my name was mentioned. Hearing my name triggers me to
listen. It's a conditioned reflex. Though I don't suppose you believe me?"
"On the contrary, I do. Nurse-please switch on whatever you switched off.
Then bear in mind that I must talk privately...and I'll remember not to
mention your name. But I'm glad to know that I can reach you so promptly.
To a man in my condition that is a comfort."
8
"Uh-very well, sir."
"And I want to thank you for putting up with my quirks. And bad temper."
She almost smiled. "Oh, you're not so difficult, sir. I once put in two years in
an N.P. hospital."
Smith looked startled, then grinned. "Touché! Was that where you acquired
your hatred for bedpans?"
"It was indeed! Now if you will excuse me, sir-"
When she was gone, Salomon said, "You really think she won't listen?"
"Of course she will, she can't help it, she's already triggered and will be
trying too hard not to listen. But she's proud, Jake, and I would rather
depend on pride than gadgetry. Okay, I'm getting tired, so here it is in a
lump. I want to buy a body. A young one."
Eunice Branca barely showed reaction; Jake Salomon's features dropped
into the mask he used for poker and district attorneys. Presently Eunice
said, "Am I to record, sir?"
"No. Oh, hell, yes. Tell that sewing machine to make one copy for each of
us and wipe the tape. File mine in my destruct file; file yours in your destruct
file-and, Jake, hide your copy in the file you use to outwit the Infernal
Revenue Service."
"I'll file it in the still safer place I use for guilty clients. Johann, anything you
say to me is privileged but I am bound to point out that the Canons forbid
me to advise a client in how to break the law, or to permit a client to discuss
such intention. As for Eunice, anything you say to her or in her presence is
not privileged."
"Oh, come off it, you old shyster; you've advised me in how to break the law
twice a week for years. As for Eunice, nobody can get anything out of, her
short of all-out brainwash."
"I didn't say I always followed the Canons; I merely told you what they
called for. I won't deny that my professional ethics have a little stretch in
them-but I won't be party to anything smelling of bodysnatching,
kidnapping, or congress with slavery. Any self-respecting prostitute-
meaning me-has limits."
"Spare me the sermon, Jake; what I want is both moral and ethical. I need
your help to see that all of it is legal-utterly legal, can't cut corners on this!-
and practical."
"I hope so."
"I know so. I said I wanted to buy a body-legally. That rules out
bodysnatching, kidnapping, and slavery. I want to make a legal purchase."
"You can't."
"Why not? Take this body," Smith said, pointing to his chest, "it's not worth
much even as manure; nevertheless I can will it to a medical school. You
know I can, you okayed it."
9
摘要：

IWILLFEARNOEVILRobertA.HeinleinNote:TheNationalRareBloodClub(mentionedherein)isanonprofitorganizationhavingitsnationalheadquartersat164FifthAvenue,NewYork,N.Y.10010,telephone(212)Chelsea3-8037.R.A.H.ToRexandKathleen1Theroomwasold-fashioned,1980baroque,butitwaswide,long,high,a dluxurious.Nearsimulat...

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