Piers Anthony - Xanth 26 - Up in a Heaval

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UP IN A

HEAVAL

TOR BOOKS BY PIERS ANTHONY

Alien Plot

Anthonology

But What of Earth?

The Dastard

Demons Don't Dream

DoOon Mode

Faun & Games

Geis of the Gargoyle

Ghost Harpy Thyme

Hasan

Heaven Cent Hope of Earth

How Precious Was That While

Isle of Woman

Letters to Jenny

Prostho Plus

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Race Against Time

Roc and a Hard Place

Shade of a Tree

Shame of Man

Steppe Swell Foop

Triple Detente

Up in a Heaval

Xone of Contention

Yon III Wind

Zombie Lover

WITH ROBERT E. MARGROFF

Dragon's Gold

Serpent's Silver

Chimaera's Copper

Mouvar's Magic

Ore's Opal

The E.S.P Worm

The Ring

WITH FRANCES HALL

Pretender

WITH RICHARD GILLIAM

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Tales from the Great Turtle (Anthology)

WITH ALFRED TELLA

The Willing Spirit WITH CLIFFORD A. PICKOVER

Spider Legs

WITH JAMES RICKEY AND ALAN RIGGS Quest for the Fallen Star WITH JULIE BRADY

Dream a Little Dream WITH JO ANNE TAEUSCH

The Secret of Spring

WITH RON LEMING

The Gutbucket Quest

PIERS ANTHONY

UP IN A

HEAVAL

TOR®

A tom doherty associates book new york

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This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are either fictitious or are used

fictitiously.

UP IN A HEAVAL

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

A Tor Book

Published by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC

175 Fifth Avenue

New York, NY 10010

www.tor.com

Tor® is a registered trademark of Tom Doherty Associates, LLC.

ISBN 0-312-86904-5

First Edition: October 2002

Printed in the United States of America

0987654321

Contents

prolog..................................................................11

1. emulation........................................................15

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2. letters ...........................................................31

3. challenges ......................................................47

4. moons of ida.....................................................64

5. zombie world....................................................80

6. souffle serpent.................................................97

7. sidestepping ....................................................114

8. isle of cats .....................................................129

9. submarine sand witch........................................144

10. fauns & nymphs................................................159

11. surprise .........................................................174

12. grossclout .....................................................190

13. ogrets...........................................................206

14. com pewter.....................................................222

15. Six eager girls.................................................238

16. goblin mountain ..............................................254

17. dream realm ...................................................271

18. consequences ..................................................289

19. rorrim...........................................................306

20. decisions........................................................322

author's note .......................................................341

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UP IN A HEAVAL

PROLOG

Demons did not normally assume mortal form or substance, but on rare occasion it was convenient for

negotiation. The dialogue between the Demon JU (P/I)TER and the Demoness FO (R/N)AX occurred in

neutral territory: the domain of the Demon X (A/N)TH. Jupiter, whose magic was the strong force,

animated a nondescript male mortal body crafted for the occasion by Xanth, while Fornax borrowed the

semblance of a lesser female demon. Xanth himself was in the humanoid form of Nimby, a donkey-

headed dragon.

"What do you want?" Jupiter demanded, employing the cumbersome mortal sonic language so as to

adhere to the limitations of the mortal form, "We defeated your last ploy and rescued Demon Earth from

your clutch; you have no further influence in this region."

"I have spot visitation rights," Fornax replied similarly. "I made a deal with a mortal girl in Demon Earth's

domain. But I want more."

"We all want more," Jupiter retorted. "That is why we contest constantly for status at each other's

expense."

"Exactly. But in this case I want a lesser thing. Having become acquainted with several mortal characters

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of the Land of Xanth, I find the mortal state intriguing. I wish to take this land to my own galaxy and

vivisect it and its creatures."

"No you don't!" Xanth protested. "That's my realm. Your challenge for status is with Jupiter; this is

merely the setting for your limited dialogue."

"Here is the nature of my offer: The stakes are your Land of Xanth against my empty contraterrene

equivalent. If I win, I will transform Xanth to CT matter so that I may safely handle it, then vivisect it to

discover what is intriguing about it. If Jupiter wins, I will turn over my contraterrene realm to you, so that

your mortal characters can animate it and have a vast new realm to play in."

"Those are fair stakes," Xanth agreed. "But why contest with Jupiter when you could contest directly with

me?"

The form of the demoness assumed enormous beauty and sexiness. "You have already committed your

interest to a female creature; I can't distract you of your representative by employing mortal opposite-

gender allure. Jupiter has not committed, so perhaps can be swayed, providing me a reasonable edge."

"I doubt it," Jupiter said. "I know your nature, Demoness."

"Since when did knowledge have any relevance to a male?"

"Males are rational. Females are emotional."

"Really?" She oriented on Jupiter's form, slowly drawing up the hem of her skirt. The thighs of the form

she had assumed were very firm and well fleshed. His eyeballs locked into place and began to sweat. She

had made her point.

"Agreed," Jupiter said. He did not say that his interest had been aroused, but of course she knew it.

"If you win, I will also visit you in this fleshly form and do whatever you request, provided it is limited to

a mortal nature." She let her decolletage descend slightly.

Jupiter's mortal breath quickened. He nodded.

"Agreed," Xanth said. "Now the rules of engagement."

"The Land of Xanth to be the setting," Fornax said as she let her hem and neckline drift back into place.

"We will select Xanth characters to represent our interests. One must accomplish a particular task, or fail

to accomplish it. On that will hinge the decision."

"Agreed," Jupiter said, flexing his eyeballs to restore their circulation. "I choose this character I have

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animated, rendering him apparent for the occasion."

"But you must not animate him yourself," Fornax said. "You must set him up and let him proceed without

further direction, so that the outcome is not determined by direct Demon power."

"Agreed. That is standard practice when we employ facsimiles. I will give him the semblance of body,

life, and awareness, with a minor talent, and dissolve him when the game is done."

"The semblance?" Fornax asked. "Why not the reality?"

"We terrene Demons do not have established mortal forms and do not live and die as they do," Jupiter

explained. "We have no direct experience, so must emulate. The real mortals will not know the

difference."

Her form nodded. "Neither do we contraterrene Demons. That is one reason I wish to dissect some

mortals, discovering the secret of their living state. I understand they also have souls, which are a deeper

mystery."

"Souls greatly complicate their existence," Xanth said. "I have been studying them for some time, without

yet approaching a sufficient comprehension. It seems a soul is one thing it is necessary to possess in order

to appreciate."

"I would like to borrow and study a soul," Fornax said.

"So would I," Jupiter agreed.

"They can't be taken," Xanth said. "They must be given."

"Remarkable," Fornax said. She reoriented on Jupiter. "Your entity must not know his origin or nature."

"Emulation can go only so far," Jupiter said. "If he operates long among genuine mortals, he will

inevitably catch on, because he will discover what they can't: that he is limited in duration."

"Then herein perhaps we have a basis for our game," she said. "Give your character a pretext and a chore

to accomplish. If he succeeds before he discovers his nature, the victory is yours. If he fails, or realizes

before he succeeds, it is mine."

"Agreed."

Fornax smiled. "Not quite so simple, Jupiter. I am not satisfied to have a simple task simply

accomplished. If your golem possesses a Demon's single-mindedness, he will forge through and

accomplish his task regardless of the consequences elsewhere."

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"Readily fixed," Demon Xanth said. "We can provide him with a soul emulation, giving him a strong

conscience, compassion, and sense of fairness. He can be a surpassingly decent person, not given to single-

mindedness at the expense of others."

"But if he is highly intelligent or talented, he will still accomplish it readily."

"I will make him of moderate intellect, with a moderate talent," Jupiter said. "With a store of useless

incidental information rather than insight."

"One more thing: I will utilize this present character, whose purpose will be to prevent your character

from accomplishing his mission."

"But he will never succeed, if a Demon opposes him."

"I will be indirect, motivating the female whose form I have borrowed, and will not allow her to

understand the full nature of the contest. Then I will set her loose, as you will do for yours."

"You will employ female wiles to distract him," Jupiter said accusingly.

"Of course. It's the natural female emotional course."

"Then my character should have a general appeal for females, as a natural rational male."

Nobody was fooling anybody, but they liked the sparring. "Granted. Let them be mysteriously drawn to

him. The challenge will be fair."

"Yes, it will be fair," Jupiter agreed grimly.

They settled down to detail bargaining, crafting a game that each agreed was fair. Occasionally Fornax

allowed some interesting flesh to show, reminding Jupiter of the stakes. This was the essence of Demon

interaction.

EMULATION

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