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When one is a regular ambassador to a civilized planet with full membership in the Interbeing League, it
is quite sufficient to marry a girl who is only blond and beautiful. However, a plenipotentiary, guiding a
backward world along the tortuous path to modern culture and full status, needs a wife who is also
competent to handle the unexpected.
Alexander Jones had no reason to doubt that his Tanni met all the requirements of blondness, beauty,
and competence. Neither did she. After a dozen years of Toka, he did not hesitate to leave her in charge
while he took a native delegation to Earth and arranged for the planet's advancement in grade. And for a
while things went smoothly—as smoothly, at least, as they can go on a world of eager, energetic teddy
bears with imaginations active to the point of autohypnosis.
Picture her, then, on a sunny day shortly after lunch, walking through her official residence in the city
Mixumaxu. Bright sunshine streamed through the glassite wall, revealing a pleasant view of cobbled
streets, peaked roofs, and the grim towers of the Bastille. (This was annually erected by a self-appointed
Roi Soleil, and torn down again by happy sans-culottes every July 14.) Tanni Jones' brief tunic and long
golden hair were in the latest Bangkok fashion, even on this remote outpost, and her slim tanned figure
would never be outmoded and she was comfortably aware of the fact. She had just checked the nursery,
finding her two younger children safe at play. A newly arrived letter from her husband was tucked into
her bosom. It announced in one sentence that his mission had been successful; thereafter several pages
were devoted to more important matters, such as his imminent return with a new fur coat and he wished
he could have been in the envelope and meanwhile he loved her madly, passionately, etc. She was
murmuring to herself. Let us listen.
"Damn and blast it to hell, anyway! Where is that little monster?"
As she passed the utility room, a small, round-bellied, yellow-furred ursinoid popped out. This was
Carruthers. His official title was Secretary-in-Chief-to-the-Plenipotentiary, which meant whatever
Carruthers decided it should mean. Tanni felt relieved that today he was dressed merely in anachronistic
trousers, spats, coat, and bowler hat, umbrella furled beneath one arm, and spoke proper Oxford English.
Last week it had been a toga, and he had brought her messages written in Latin with Greek characters;
he had also buttonholed every passerby with the information that she, Tanni, was above suspicion.
"The newsfax sheet, madam," he bowed. "Just came off the jolly old printer, don't y'know."
"Oh. Thanks." She took the bulletin and swept her eyes down it. Sensational tidings from Earth
Headquarters: the delegates from Worben and Porkelans accused of conspiracy; Goldfarb's Planet
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