file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Orson%20Scott%20Card%20-%20Songmaster.txt
voice was clear. He understood the tone of voice instinctively, as he always had; it was his
greatest gift, to know emotions even better than the person feeling them.
"How come you don't talk except when you're mad?" Rruk asked him as they lay down in adjoining
beds (as a hundred other children also lay down).
It was now that Ansset's control broke. He shook his head, then turned away, buried his face under
the blankets, and cried himself to sleep. He did not see the other children around him who looked
at him with distaste. He did not know that Rruk was humming a tune that meant, "Let be, let alone,
let live."
He did know, however, when Rruk patted his back, and he knew that the gesture was kind; and this
was why he never forgot his first night in the Songhouse and why he could never feel anything but
love for Rruk, though he would soon far surpass her rather limited abilities.
"Why do you let Rruk hang around you so much, when she isn't even a Breeze?" asked a fellow
student once, when Ansset was six. Ansset did not answer in words. He an-
13
swered with a song that made die questioner break Control, much to his humiliation, and weep
openly. No one else ever challenged Rruk's claim on Ansset. He had no friends, not really, but his
song for Rruk was too powerful to challenge.
Lf Ansset held on to two memories of his parents, though he did not know these dream people were
his parents. They were White Lady and Giant Man, when he thought to put names to them at all. He
never spoke of them to anyone, and he only thought of them when he had dreamed the dreams of them
the night before.
The first memory was of the White Lady whimpering,, lying on a bed with huge pillows. She was
staring into nothingness, and did not see Ansset as he walked into the room. His step was unsure.
He did not know if she would be angry that he had come in. But her soft, whipped cries drew him
on, for it was a sound he could not resist, and he came and stood by the bed where she rested her
head on her arm. He reached out and patted her arm. Even in the dream the skin felt hot and
fevered. She looked at him, and her eyes were deep in tears. Ansset reached to the eyes, touched
the brow, let his tiny fingers slide down, closing the eyes, caressing the lids so gently that the
White Lady did not recoil. Instead she sighed, and he caressed all her face as her whimpers
softened into gentle humming.
It was then that the dream went awry, ending in odd ways. Always Giant Man came in, but what he
did was a mystery of rumbling voice, embraces, shouts. Sometimes he also lay on the bed with White
Lady. Sometimes he picked Ansset up and took him on strange adventures that ended in waking.
Sometimes the White Lady kissed him good-bye. Sometimes she did not notice him once the Giant Man
came into the room. But the dream always began the same, and the part that never changed was
memory. V
14
The other memory was of the moment of kidnapping. Ansset was in a very large place with a distant
roof that was painted with strange animals and distorted people. Loud music came from a lighted
place where everyone was always moving. Then there was a deafening noise and the place became all
light and noise and conversation, and White Lady and Giant Man walked among the crowd. There was
pushing and jostling, and someone stepped between White Lady and Ansset, breaking their handhold.
White Lady turned to the stranger, but at the same moment Ansset felt a powerful hand grip his. He
was pulled away, bumping harshly through the crowd. Then the hand pulled him up, hurting his arm,
and for a moment, lifted above the heads of the crowd, Ansset saw White Lady and Giant Man for the
last time, both of them pushing through the crowd, their faces fearful, their mouths open to cry
out. But Ansset could never remember hearing them. For a blast of hot air struck him, and a door
closed, and he was outside in a blazing hot night, and then he always, always woke up, trembling
but not crying, because he could hear a voice saying Quiet, Quiet, Quiet in tones that meant fear
and falling and fire and shame.
"You do not cry," said the teacher, a man with a voice that was more comforting than sunlight.
Ansset shook his head. "Sometimes," he said.
"Before," answered the teacher. "But now you will learn Control. When you cry you waste your
songs. You burn up your songs. You drown your songs."
"Songs?" asked Ansset.
"You are a little pot full of songs," said the teacher, "and when you cry, the pot breaks and all
the songs spill out ugly. Control means keeping the songs in the pot, and letting them out one at
a time."
Ansset knew pots. Food came from a pot. He thought of songs as food, then, besides knowing they
were music.
"Do you know any songs?" asked the teacher.
file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Orson%20Scott%20Card%20-%20Songmaster.txt (5 of 134) [10/15/2004 5:56:04 PM]