GALATEA GALANTE
by Alfred Bester
He was wearing a prefaded jump suit, beautifully tailored, the dernier cri in the nostalgic 2100s,
but really too youthful for his thirty-odd years. Set square on his head was a vintage (circa
1950) English motoring cap with the peak leveled on a line with his brows, masking the light of
lunacy in his eyes.
Dead on a slab, he might be called distinguished, even handsome, but alive and active? That would
depend on how much demented dedication one could stomach. He was shouldering his way through the
crowded aisles of
THE SATURN CIRCUS
50 PHANTASTIK PHREAKS 50
!!!ALL ALIENS!!!
He was carrying a mini sound-camera that looked like a chrome-and-ebony pepper mill, and he was
filming the living, crawling, spasming, gibbering monstrosities exhibited in the large showcases
and small vitrines, with a murmured
running commentary. His voice was pleasant; his remarks were not.
"Ah, yes, the Bellatrix basilisk, so the sign assures us. Black-and-yellow bod of a serpent. Looks
like a Gila-monster head attached. Work of that Tejas tailor who's so nitzy with surgical needle
and thread. Peacock coronet on head. Good theater to blindfold its eyes. Conveys the conviction
that its glance will kill. Hmmm. Ought to gag the mouth, too. According to myth the basilisk's
breath also kills ....
"And the Hyades hydra. Like wow. Nine heads, as per revered tradition. Looks like a converted
iguana. The Mexican again. That seamstress has access to every damn snake and lizard in Central
America. She's done a nice join of necks to trunk-got to admit that-but her stitching shows to my
eye ....
"Canopus cerberus. Three dog heads. Look like oversized Chihuahuas. Mastiff bod. Rattlesnake tail.
Ring of rattlers around the waist. Authentic but clumsy. That Tejas woman ought to know you can't
graft snake scales onto hound hide. They look like crud; but at least all three heads are barking.
. ."Well, well, well, here's the maladroit who claims he's my rival; the Berlin butcher with his
zoo castoffs. His latest spectacular, the Rigel griffin. 'Pa-daaa! Do him justice, it's classic.
Eagle head and wings, but it's molting. Lion bod implanted with feathers. And he's used ostrich
claws for the feet. I would have generated authentic dragon's feet ....
"Now Martian monoceros; horse bod, elephant legs, stag's tail. Yes, convincing, but why isn't it
howling as it should, according to legend? Mizar manticora. Kosher. Kosher. Three rows of teeth.
Look like implanted shark's. Lion bod. Scorpion tail. Wonder how they produced that red eyed
effect. The Ares assida. Dull. Dull. Dullsville. Just an ostrich with camel feet, and stumbling
all over them, too.
No creative imagination!
"Ah, but I call that poster over the Sirius sphinx brilliant theater. My compliments to the
management. It's got to be recorded for posterity: THE PUBLIC IS RESPECTFULLY REQUESTED NOT TO
GIVE THE CORRECT ANSWER TO THE ENIGMA POSED BY THE SPHINX.
"Because if you do give the correct answer, as Oedipus found out, she'll destroy herself out of
chagrin. A sore loser. I ought to answer the riddle, just to see how they stage it, but no.
Theater isn't my shtick; my business is strictly creative genesis ....
"The Berlin butcher again, Castor chimera. Lion head. Goat's bod. Looks like an anaconda tail. How
the hell did he surgify to get it to vomit those flames? Some sort of catalytic gimmick in the
throat, I suppose. It's only a cold corposant fire, quite harmless but very dramatic-and those
fire extinguishers around the showcase are a lovely touch. Damn good theater. Again, my
compliments to the management.
. ."Aha! Beefcake on the hoof. Zosma centaur. Good-looking Greek joined to that Shetland pony.
Blood must have been a problem. They probably drained both and substituted a neutral surrogate.
The Greek looks happy enough; in fact, damn smug. Anyone wondering why has only to see how the
pony's hung ....
"What have we here? Antares unicorn, complete with grafted narwhal tusk but not with the virgin
who captured it, virgin girls being the only types that can subdue unicorns, legend saith. I
thought narwhals were extinct. They may have bought the tusk from a walking-stick maker. I know
virgins are not extinct. Imake'em every month; purity guaranteed or your money back ....
"And a Spica siren. Lovely girl. Beautiful. She-But damn my eyes, she's no manufactured freak!
That's Sandra,
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