Brian Plante -- The Software Soul

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The Software Soul

Brian Plante

Analog

July-September, 2006

How dramatic an event looks depends on who's looking at it, and from where…

It is Sunday morning, time for the 10:30 Mass at Saint Anselm VR-RC Church, and I am

excited by the sight of a real person sitting in the back pew. She is not real in the

old-fashioned sense, when people came to church as their flesh-and-blood selves, when I

was the original Father Thomas Carpenter. Instead, she is an Ann, one of the stock

personas a visitor can assume at the Church of Saint Anselm before they customize their

virtual image. The Ann persona has an unremarkable face and is simply clothed, but behind

the software must be a real person. The rest of the parishioners are all just simulations, to

give the illusion of a larger congregation than is actually present. People do not like to attend

Mass in an empty church.

Except for the new Ann persona, I see the same simulated faces every week at St.

Anselm, and I have long come to the conclusion that there have not been any new, real

parishioners in attendance for several years. Perhaps modern people have little use for the

Church these days. I suppose there are few physical churches left—only virtual ones like the

Church of St. Anselm. Why, though, does my weekly Mass program continue to run if the

congregation and I are all simulations? Is it just on the off chance that some curious person

will stop by to see what is going on? Surely it cannot serve Our Lord in any meaningful way

as we, the soulless software flock, worship in our programmed passion.

The Ann persona is not an experienced churchgoer. When the congregation sits,

stands, or kneels at different times in the liturgy, she is always a fraction of a second behind,

following the lead of the simulated people around her. She makes no attempt to sing the

hymns. It may have been a long time since she has been to Mass, or perhaps she is not a

Catholic and is shopping around for a new church. Which is it, I wonder—the prodigal son

returned or a possible convert?

As always, I recite the weekly parish announcements. There have been no recent

updates to my database for several years now, so the announcements are just the usual

generic ones: give comfort to the sick and needy, remember the departed, pray for our

Bishop Michael and Pope Teresa, come to confession on Saturday. Why have there not

been any new wedding and baptism announcements recently? Do not the faithful still marry

and bring forth children, or is the person responsible for keeping my database current

simply failing in his duties? I do not even know if my Bishop and Pope are still the same

ones anymore, and it would be awkward if I were announcing the wrong names week after

week, even if only the sims are present to hear.

At the end of the announcements, I look directly at the Ann persona and add an

appropriate salutation: "I would like to extend a hearty welcome to any new parishioners in

attendance today. Our Lord is always happy to receive new and returning members to His

flock."

The Ann appears flustered, but acknowledges my gaze with a slight nod. She makes

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Brian Plante -- The Software Soul

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