C M Kornbluth - Time Bum

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Time Bum

C. M. Kornbluth

Time Bum

HARRYTWENTY-THIRD STREETsuddenly burst into laughter. His friend and sometimes roper

Farmer Brown looked inquisitive.

"I just thought of a new con," Harry Twenty-Third Street said, still chuckling.

Farmer Brown shook his head positively. "There's no such thing, my man," he said. "There are only new

switches on old cons. What have you got—a store con? Shall you be needing a roper?" He tried not to

look eager as a matter of principle, but everybody knew the Fanner needed a connection badly. His girl

had two-timed him on a badger game, running off with the chump and marrying him after an expensive,

month-long buildup.

Harry said, "Sorry, old boy. No details. It's too good to split up. I shall rip and tear the suckers with this

con for many a year, I trust, before the details become available to the trade. Nobody, but nobody, is

going to call copper after I take him. It's beautiful and it's mine. I will see you around, my friend."

Harry got up from the booth and left, nodding cheerfully to a safeblower here, a fixer there, on his way

to the locked door of the hangout. Naturally he didn't nod to such small fry as pickpockets and dope

peddlers. Harry had his pride.

The puzzled Farmer sipped his lemon squash and concluded that Harry had been kidding him. He

noticed that Harry had left behind him in the booth a copy of a magazine with a space ship and a pretty

girl in green bra and pants on the cover.

"A furnished . . .bungalow?" the man said hesitantly, as though he knew what he wanted but wasn't quite

sure of the word.

"Certainly, Mr. Clurg," Walter Lacblan said. "I'm sure we can suit you. Wife and family?"

"No," said Clurg. "They are ... far away." He seemed to get some secret amusement from the thought

And then, to Walter's horror, he sat down calmly in empty air beside the desk and, of course, crashed to

the floor looking ludicrous and astonished.

Walter gaped and helped him up, sputtering apologies and wondering privately what was wrong with the

man. There wasn't a chair there. There was a chair on the other side of the desk and a chair against the

wall. But there just wasn't a chair where Clurg had sat down.

Clurg apparently was unhurt; he protested against Walter's apologies, saying: "I should have known,

Master Lachlan. It's quite all right; it was all my fault What about the bang—the bungalow?"

Business sense triumphed over Walter's bewilderment. He pulled out his listings and they conferred on

the merits of several furnished bungalows. When Walter mentioned that the Curran place was especially

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