Connie Willis - At the Rialto

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AT THE RIALTO

Connie Willis

Seriousness of mind was a prerequisite for understanding Newtonian

physics. I am not convinced it is not a handicap in understanding

quantum theory.

—Excerpt from Dr. Gedanken's keynote address to the 1988 International

Congress of Quantum Physicists Annual Meeting, Hollywood, California

I got to Hollywood around one-thirty and started trying to check into

the Rialto.

"Sorry, we don't have any rooms," the girl behind the desk said. "We're

all booked up with some science thing."

"I'm with the science thing," I said. "Dr. Ruth Baringer. I reserved a

double."

"There are a bunch of Republicans here, too, and a tour group from

Finland. They told me when I started work here that they got all these

movie people, but the only one so far was that guy who played the friend of

that other guy in that one movie. You're not a movie person, are you?"

"No," I said. "I'm with the science thing. Dr. Ruth Baringer."

"My name's Tiffany," she said. "I'm not actually a hotel clerk at all. I'm

just working here to pay for my transcendental posture lessons. I'm really

a model/ actress."

"I'm a quantum physicist," I said, trying to get things back on track.

"The name is Ruth Baringer."

She messed with the computer for a minute. "I don't show a reservation

for you."

"Maybe it's in Dr. Mendoza's name. I'm sharing a room with her."

She messed with the computer some more. "I don't show a reservation

for her either. Are you sure you don't want the Disneyland Hotel? A lot of

people get the two confused."

"I want the Rialto," I said, rummaging through my bag for my

notebook. "I have a confirmation number. W-three-seven-f ur-two-oh. "

She typed it in. "Are you Dr. Gedanken?" she asked.

"Excuse me," an elderly man said.

"I'll be right with you," Tiffany told him. "How long do you plan to stay

with us, Dr. Gedanken?" she asked me.

"Excuse me," the man said, sounding desperate. He had bushy white

hair and a dazed expression, as if he had just been through a horrific

experience or had been trying to check into the Rialto.

He wasn't wearing any socks. I wondered if he was Dr. Gedanken. Dr.

Gedanken was the main reason I'd decided to come to the meeting. I had

missed his lecture on wave-particle duality last year, but I had read the

text of it in the ICQP Journal, and it had actually seemed to make sense,

which is more than you can say for most of quantum theory. He was

giving the keynote address this year, and I was determined to hear it.

It wasn't Dr. Gedanken. "My name is Dr. Whedbee," the elderly man

said. "You gave me the wrong room."

"All our rooms are pretty much the same," Tiffany said. "Except for how

many beds they have in them and stuff."

"My room has a person in it!" he said. "Dr. Sleeth. From the University

of Texas at Austin. She was changing her clothes." His hair seemed to get

wilder as he spoke. "She thought I was a serial killer."

"And your name is Dr. Whedbee?" Tiffany asked, fooling with the

computer again. "I don't show a reservation for you."

Dr. Whedbee began to cry. Tiffany got out a paper towel, wiped off the

counter, and turned back to me. "May I help you?" she said.

Thursday, 7:30-9 P.M. Opening Ceremonies. Dr. Halvard Onofrio,

University of Maryland at College Park, will speak on the topic, "Doubts

Surrounding the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle." Ballroom.

I finally got my room at five, after Tiffany went off duty. Till then I sat

around the lobby with Dr. Whedbee, listening to Abey Fields complain

about Hollywood.

"What's wrong with Racine?" he said. "Why do we always have to go to

these exotic places, like Hollywood? And St. Louis last year wasn't much

better. The Institute Henri Poincare people kept going off to see the arch

and Busch Stadium."

"Speaking of St. Louis," Dr. Takumi said, "have you seen David yet?"

"No," I said.

"Oh, really?" she said. "Last year at the annual meeting you two were

practically inseparable. Moonlight river boat rides and all."

"What's on the programming tonight?" I said to Abey.

"David was just here," Dr. Takumi said. "He said to tell you he was

going out to look at the stars in the sidewalk."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," Abey said. "Riverboat rides and

movie stars. What do those things have to do with quantum theory?

Racine would have been an appropriate setting for a group of physicists.

Not like this . .. this ... do you realize we're practically across the street

from Grauman's Chinese Theatre? And Hollywood Boulevard's where all

those gangs hang out. If they catch you wearing red or blue, they'll—"

He stopped. "Is that Dr. Gedanken?" he asked, staring at the front desk.

I turned and looked. A short roundish man with a mustache was trying

to check in. "No," I said. "That's Dr. Onofrio."

"Oh, yes," Abey said, consulting his program book. "He's speaking

tonight at the opening ceremonies. On the Heisenberg uncertainty

principle. Are you going?"

"I'm not sure," I said, which was supposed to be a joke, but Abey didn't

laugh.

"I must meet Dr. Gedanken. He's just gotten funding for a new project."

I wondered what Dr. Gedanken's new project was—I would have loved

to work with him.

"I'm hoping he'll come to my workshop on the wonderful world of

quantum physics," Abey said, still watching the desk. Amazingly enough,

Dr. Onofrio seemed to have gotten a key and was heading for the elevators.

"I think his project has something to do with understanding quantum

theory."

Well, that let me out. I didn't understand quantum theory at all. I

sometimes had a sneaking suspicion nobody else did either, including

Abey Fields, and that they just weren't willing to admit it.

I mean, an electron is a particle except it acts like a wave. In fact, a

neutron acts like two waves and interferes with itself (or each other), and

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