beasts and super-beasts(野兽与超级野兽)

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BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

BEASTS AND SUPER-

BEASTS

H. H. MUNRO ("SAKI")

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

THE SHE-WOLF

LEONARD BILSITER was one of those people who have failed to

find this world attractive or interesting, and who have sought

compensation in an "unseen world" of their own experience or

imagination - or invention. Children do that sort of thing successfully,

but children are content to convince themselves, and do not vulgarise

their beliefs by trying to convince other people. Leonard Bilsiter's

beliefs were for "the few," that is to say, anyone who would listen to

him.

His dabblings in the unseen might not have carried him beyond the

customary platitudes of the drawing-room visionary if accident had not

reinforced his stock-in- trade of mystical lore. In company with a friend,

who was interested in a Ural mining concern, he had made a trip

across Eastern Europe at a moment when the great Russian railway

strike was developing from a threat to a reality; its outbreak caught him

on the return journey, somewhere on the further side of Perm, and it was

while waiting for a couple of days at a wayside station in a state of

suspended locomotion that he made the acquaintance of a dealer in

harness and metalware, who profitably whiled away the tedium of the

long halt by initiating his English travelling companion in a

fragmentary system of folk-lore that he had picked up from Trans-Baikal

traders and natives. Leonard returned to his home circle garrulous

about his Russian strike experiences, but oppressively reticent about

certain dark mysteries, which he alluded to under the resounding title

of Siberian Magic. The reticence wore off in a week or two under the

influence of an entire lack of general curiosity, and Leonard began to

make more detailed allusions to the enormous powers which this new

esoteric force, to use his own description of it, conferred on the

initiated few who knew how to wield it. His aunt, Cecilia Hoops, who

loved sensation perhaps rather better than she loved the truth, gave him

as clamorous an advertisement as anyone could wish for by retailing an

account of how he had turned a vegetable marrow into a wood pigeon

before her very eyes. As a manifestation of the possession of

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

supernatural powers, the story was discounted in some quarters by the

respect accorded to Mrs. Hoops' powers of imagination.

However divided opinion might be on the question of Leonard's

status as a wonderworker or a charlatan, he certainly arrived at Mary

Hampton's house-party with a reputation for pre-eminence in one or

other of those professions, and he was not disposed to shun such

publicity as might fall to his share. Esoteric forces and unusual powers

figured largely in whatever conversation he or his aunt had a share in,

and his own performances, past and potential, were the subject of

mysterious hints and dark avowals.

"I wish you would turn me into a wolf, Mr. Bilsiter," said his hostess

at luncheon the day after his arrival.

"My dear Mary," said Colonel Hampton, "I never knew you had a

craving in that direction."

"A she-wolf, of course," continued Mrs. Hampton; it would be too

confusing to change one's sex as well as one's species at a moment's

notice."

"I don't think one should jest on these subjects," said Leonard.

"I'm not jesting, I'm quite serious, I assure you. Only don't do it to-

day; we have only eight available bridge players, and it would break up

one of our tables. To-morrow we shall be a larger party. To-morrow

night, after dinner - "

"In our present imperfect understanding of these hidden forces I

think one should approach them with humbleness rather than mockery,"

observed Leonard, with such severity that the subject was forthwith

dropped.

Clovis Sangrail had sat unusually silent during the discussion on the

possibilities of Siberian Magic; after lunch he side-tracked Lord Pabham

into the comparative seclusion of the billiard-room and delivered himself

of a searching question.

"Have you such a thing as a she-wolf in your collection of wild

animals? A she-wolf of moderately good temper?"

Lord Pabham considered. "There is Loiusa," he said, "a rather fine

specimen of the timber-wolf. I got her two years ago in exchange for

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

some Arctic foxes. Most of my animals get to be fairly tame before

they've been with me very long; I think I can say Louisa has an angelic

temper, as she-wolves go. Why do you ask?"

"I was wondering whether you would lend her to me for to-morrow

night," said Clovis, with the careless solicitude of one who borrows a

collar stud or a tennis racquet.

"To-morrow night?"

"Yes, wolves are nocturnal animals, so the late hours won't hurt her,"

said Clovis, with the air of one who has taken everything into

consideration; "one of your men could bring her over from Pabham Park

after dusk, and with a little help he ought to be able to smuggle her

into the conservatory at the same moment that Mary Hampton makes an

unobtrusive exit."

Lord Pabham stared at Clovis for a moment in pardonable

bewilderment; then his face broke into a wrinkled network of laughter.

"Oh, that's your game, is it? You are going to do a little Siberian

Magic on your own account. And is Mrs. Hampton willing to be a

fellow-conspirator?"

"Mary is pledged to see me through with it, if you will guarantee

Louisa's temper."

"I'll answer for Louisa," said Lord Pabham.

By the following day the house-party had swollen to larger

proportions, and Bilsiter's instinct for self- advertisement expanded duly

under the stimulant of an increased audience. At dinner that evening he

held forth at length on the subject of unseen forces and untested

powers, and his flow of impressive eloquence continued unabated while

coffee was being served in the drawing- room preparatory to a general

migration to the card-room.

His aunt ensured a respectful hearing for his utterances, but her

sensation-loving soul hankered after something more dramatic than mere

vocal demonstration.

"Won't you do something to CONVINCE them of your powers,

Leonard?" she pleaded; "change something into another shape. He can,

you know, if he only chooses to," she informed the company.

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

"Oh, do," said Mavis Pellington earnestly, and her request was

echoed by nearly everyone present. Even those who were not open to

conviction were perfectly willing to be entertained by an exhibition of

amateur conjuring.

Leonard felt that something tangible was expected of him.

"Has anyone present," he asked, "got a three-penny bit or some small

object of no particular value -?"

"You're surely not going to make coins disappear, or something

primitive of that sort?" said Clovis contemptuously.

"I think it very unkind of you not to carry out my suggestion of

turning me into a wolf," said Mary Hampton, as she crossed over to the

conservatory to give her macaws their usual tribute from the dessert

dishes.

"I have already warned you of the danger of treating these powers in

a mocking spirit," said Leonard solemnly.

"I don't believe you can do it," laughed Mary provocatively from the

conservatory; "I dare you to do it if you can. I defy you to turn me into

a wolf."

As she said this she was lost to view behind a clump of azaleas.

"Mrs. Hampton - " began Leonard with increased solemnity, but he

got no further. A breath of chill air seemed to rush across the room, and

at the same time the macaws broke forth into ear-splitting screams.

"What on earth is the matter with those confounded birds, Mary?"

exclaimed Colonel Hampton; at the same moment an even more piercing

scream from Mavis Pellington stampeded the entire company from their

seats. In various attitudes of helpless horror or instinctive defence

they confronted the evil-looking grey beast that was peering at them

from amid a setting of fern and azalea.

Mrs. Hoops was the first to recover from the general chaos of fright

and bewilderment.

"Leonard!" she screamed shrilly to her nephew, "turn it back into

Mrs. Hampton at once! It may fly at us at any moment. Turn it

back!"

"I - I don't know how to," faltered Leonard, who looked more scared

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

and horrified than anyone.

"What!" shouted Colonel Hampton, "you've taken the abominable

liberty of turning my wife into a wolf, and now you stand there calmly

and say you can't turn her back again!"

To do strict justice to Leonard, calmness was not a distinguishing

feature of his attitude at the moment.

"I assure you I didn't turn Mrs. Hampton into a wolf; nothing was

farther from my intentions," he protested.

"Then where is she, and how came that animal into the

conservatory?" demanded the Colonel.

"Of course we must accept your assurance that you didn't turn Mrs.

Hampton into a wolf," said Clovis politely, "but you will agree that

appearances are against you."

"Are we to have all these recriminations with that beast standing

there ready to tear us to pieces?" wailed Mavis indignantly.

"Lord Pabham, you know a good deal about wild beasts - "

suggested Colonel Hampton.

"The wild beasts that I have been accustomed to," said Lord Pabham,

"have come with proper credentials from well-known dealers, or have

been bred in my own menagerie. I've never before been confronted

with an animal that walks unconcernedly out of an azalea bush,

leaving a charming and popular hostess unaccounted for. As far as one

can judge from OUTWARD characteristics," he continued, "it has the

appearance of a well-grown female of the North American timber-wolf,

a variety of the common species CANIS LUPUS."

"Oh, never mind its Latin name," screamed Mavis, as the beast came

a step or two further into the room; "can't you entice it away with food,

and shut it up where it can't do any harm?"

"If it is really Mrs. Hampton, who has just had a very good dinner, I

don't suppose food will appeal to it very strongly," said Clovis.

"Leonard," beseeched Mrs. Hoops tearfully, "even if this is none of your

doing can't you use your great powers to turn this dreadful beast into

something harmless before it bites us all - a rabbit or something?"

"I don't suppose Colonel Hampton would care to have his wife

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

turned into a succession of fancy animals as though we were playing a

round game with her," interposed Clovis.

"I absolutely forbid it," thundered the Colonel.

"Most wolves that I've had anything to do with have been

inordinately fond of sugar," said Lord Pabham; "if you like I'll try the

effect on this one."

He took a piece of sugar from the saucer of his coffee cup and flung

it to the expectant Louisa, who snapped it in mid-air. There was a sigh

of relief from the company; a wolf that ate sugar when it might at the

least have been employed in tearing macaws to pieces had already shed

some of its terrors. The sigh deepened to a gasp of thanks-giving when

Lord Pabham decoyed the animal out of the room by a pretended

largesse of further sugar. There was an instant rush to the vacated

conservatory. There was no trace of Mrs. Hampton except the plate

containing the macaws' supper.

"The door is locked on the inside!" exclaimed Clovis, who had deftly

turned the key as he affected to test it.

Everyone turned towards Bilsiter.

"If you haven't turned my wife into a wolf," said Colonel Hampton,

"will you kindly explain where she has disappeared to, since she

obviously could not have gone through a locked door? I will not press

you for an explanation of how a North American timber-wolf suddenly

appeared in the conservatory, but I think I have some right to inquire

what has become of Mrs. Hampton."

Bilsiter's reiterated disclaimer was met with a general murmur of

impatient disbelief.

"I refuse to stay another hour under this roof," declared Mavis

Pellington.

"If our hostess has really vanished out of human form," said Mrs.

Hoops, "none of the ladies of the party can very well remain. I

absolutely decline to be chaperoned by a wolf!"

"It's a she-wolf," said Clovis soothingly.

The correct etiquette to be observed under the unusual circumstances

received no further elucidation. The sudden entry of Mary Hampton

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

deprived the discussion of its immediate interest.

"Some one has mesmerised me," she exclaimed crossly; "I found

myself in the game larder, of all places, being fed with sugar by Lord

Pabham. I hate being mesmerised, and the doctor has forbidden me to

touch sugar."

The situation was explained to her, as far as it permitted of anything

that could be called explanation.

"Then you REALLY did turn me into a wolf, Mr. Bilsiter?" she

exclaimed excitedly.

But Leonard had burned the boat in which he might now have

embarked on a sea of glory. He could only shake his head feebly.

"It was I who took that liberty," said Clovis; "you see, I happen to

have lived for a couple of years in North-Eastern Russia, and I have

more than a tourist's acquaintance with the magic craft of that region.

One does not care to speak about these strange powers, but once in a

way, when one hears a lot of nonsense being talked about them, one is

tempted to show what Siberian magic can accomplish in the hands of

someone who really understands it. I yielded to that temptation. May

I have some brandy? the effort has left me rather faint."

If Leonard Bilsiter could at that moment have transformed Clovis

into a cockroach and then have stepped on him he would gladly have

performed both operations.

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

LAURA

"YOU are not really dying, are you?" asked Amanda.

"I have the doctor's permission to live till Tuesday," said Laura.

"But to-day is Saturday; this is serious!" gasped Amanda.

"I don't know about it being serious; it is certainly Saturday," said

Laura.

"Death is always serious," said Amanda.

"I never said I was going to die. I am presumably going to leave

off being Laura, but I shall go on being something. An animal of some

kind, I suppose. You see, when one hasn't been very good in the life

one has just lived, one reincarnates in some lower organism. And I

haven't been very good, when one comes to think of it. I've been petty

and mean and vindictive and all that sort of thing when circumstances

have seemed to warrant it."

"Circumstances never warrant that sort of thing," said Amanda

hastily.

"If you don't mind my saying so," observed Laura, "Egbert is a

circumstance that would warrant any amount of that sort of thing.

You're married to him - that's different; you've sworn to love, honour,

and endure him: I haven't."

"I don't see what's wrong with Egbert," protested Amanda.

"Oh, I daresay the wrongness has been on my part," admitted Laura

dispassionately; "he has merely been the extenuating circumstance. He

made a thin, peevish kind of fuss, for instance, when I took the collie

puppies from the farm out for a run the other day."

"They chased his young broods of speckled Sussex and drove two

sitting hens off their nests, besides running all over the flower beds.

You know how devoted he is to his poultry and garden."

"Anyhow, he needn't have gone on about it for the entire evening and

then have said, `Let's say no more about it' just when I was beginning to

enjoy the discussion. That's where one of my petty vindictive

revenges came in," added Laura with an unrepentant chuckle; "I turned

the entire family of speckled Sussex into his seedling shed the day after

BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS

the puppy episode."

"How could you?" exclaimed Amanda.

"It came quite easy," said Laura; "two of the hens pretended to be

laying at the time, but I was firm."

"And we thought it was an accident!"

"You see," resumed Laura, "I really HAVE some grounds for

supposing that my next incarnation will be in a lower organism. I shall

be an animal of some kind. On the other hand, I haven't been a bad sort

in my way, so I think I may count on being a nice animal, something

elegant and lively, with a love of fun. An otter, perhaps."

"I can't imagine you as an otter," said Amanda.

"Well, I don't suppose you can imagine me as an angel, if it comes to

that," said Laura.

Amanda was silent. She couldn't.

"Personally I think an otter life would be rather enjoyable,"

continued Laura; "salmon to eat all the year round, and the satisfaction

of being able to fetch the trout in their own homes without having to

wait for hours till they condescend to rise to the fly you've been

dangling before them; and an elegant svelte figure - "

"Think of the otter hounds," interposed Amanda; "how dreadful to be

hunted and harried and finally worried to death!"

"Rather fun with half the neighbourhood looking on, and anyhow not

worse than this Saturday-to-Tuesday business of dying by inches; and

then I should go on into something else. If I had been a moderately

good otter I suppose I should get back into human shape of some sort;

probably something rather primitive - a little brown, unclothed Nubian

boy, I should think."

"I wish you would be serious," sighed Amanda; "you really ought to

be if you're only going to live till Tuesday."

As a matter of fact Laura died on Monday.

"So dreadfully upsetting," Amanda complained to her uncle-in-law,

Sir Lulworth Quayne. "I've asked quite a lot of people down for golf

and fishing, and the rhododendrons are just looking their best."

"Laura always was inconsiderate," said Sir Lulworth; "she was born

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BEASTSANDSUPER-BEASTS1BEASTSANDSUPER-BEASTSH.H.MUNRO("SAKI")BEASTSANDSUPER-BEASTS2THESHE-WOLFLEONARDBILSITERwasoneofthosepeoplewhohavefailedtofindthisworldattractiveorinteresting,andwhohavesoughtcompensationinan"unseenworld"oftheirownexperienceorimagination-orinvention.Childrendothatsortofthingsucce...

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beasts and super-beasts(野兽与超级野兽)

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