Fantastic Fables(绮丽的寓言)

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Fantastic Fables

By Ambrose Bierce,

Fantastic Fables

Aesopus Emendatus

The Cat and the Youth The Farmer and His Sons Jupiter and the Baby

Show The Man and the Dog The Cat and the Birds Mercury and the

Woodchopper The Fox and the Grapes The Penitent Thief The Archer and

the Eagle Truth and the Traveller The Wolf and the Lamb The Lion and

the Boar The Grasshopper and the Ant The Fisher and the Fished The

Farmer and the Fox Dame Fortune and the Traveller The Victor and the

Victim The Wolf and the Shepherds The Goose and the Swan The Lion,

the Cock, and the Ass The Snake and the Swallow The Wolves and the

Dogs The Hen and the Vipers A Seasonable Joke The Lion and the Thorn

The Fawn and the Buck The Kite, the Pigeons, and the Hawk The Wolf

and the Babe The Wolf and the Ostrich The Herdsman and the Lion The

Man and the Viper The Man and the Eagle The War-horse and the Miller

The Dog and the Reflection The Man and the Fish-horn The Hare and the

Tortoise Hercules and the Carter The Lion and the Bull The Man and his

Goose The Wolf and the Feeding Goat Jupiter and the Birds The Lion and

the Mouse The Old Man and his Sons The Crab and his Son The North

Wind and the Sun The Mountain and the Mouse The Bellamy and the

Members

Fantastic Fables

Old Saws with New Teeth

The Wolf and the Crane The Lion and the Mouse The Hares and the

Frogs The Belly and the Members The Piping Fisherman The Ants and the

Grasshopper The Dog and His Reflection The Lion, the Bear, and the Fox

The Ass and the Lion's Skin The Ass and the Grasshoppers The Wolf and

the Lion The Hare and the Tortoise The Milkmaid and Her Bucket King

Log and King Stork The Wolf Who Would Be a Lion The Monkey and the

Nuts The Boys and the Frogs

Fantastic Fables

The Moral Principle and the

Material Interest

A MORAL Principle met a Material Interest on a bridge wide enough

for but one.

"Down, you base thing!" thundered the Moral Principle, "and let me

pass over you!"

The Material Interest merely looked in the other's eyes without

saying anything.

"Ah," said the Moral Principle, hesitatingly, "let us draw lots to see

which shall retire till the other has crossed."

The Material Interest maintained an unbroken silence and an

unwavering stare.

"In order to avoid a conflict," the Moral Principle resumed,

somewhat uneasily, "I shall myself lie down and let you walk over me."

Then the Material Interest found a tongue, and by a strange

coincidence it was its own tongue. "I don't think you are very good

walking," it said. "I am a little particular about what I have underfoot.

Suppose you get off into the water."

It occurred that way.

Fantastic Fables

The Crimson Candle

A MAN lying at the point of death called his wife to his bedside and

said:

"I am about to leave you forever; give me, therefore, one last proof

of your affection and fidelity, for, according to our holy religion, a

married man seeking admittance at the gate of Heaven is required to

swear that he has never defiled himself with an unworthy woman. In

my desk you will find a crimson candle, which has been blessed by the

High Priest and has a peculiar mystical significance. Swear to me that

while it is in existence you will not remarry."

The Woman swore and the Man died. At the funeral the Woman

stood at the head of the bier, holding a lighted crimson candle till it

was wasted entirely away.

Fantastic Fables

The Blotted Escutcheon and the

Soiled Ermine

A BLOTTED Escutcheon, rising to a question of privilege, said:

"Mr. Speaker, I wish to hurl back an allegation and explain that the

spots upon me are the natural markings of one who is a direct

descendant of the sun and a spotted fawn. They come of no accident of

character, but inhere in the divine order and constitution of things."

When the Blotted Escutcheon had resumed his seat a Soiled Ermine

rose and said:

"Mr. Speaker, I have heard with profound attention and entire

approval the explanation of the honourable member, and wish to offer a

few remarks on my own behalf. I, too, have been foully calumniated

by our ancient enemy, the Infamous Falsehood, and I wish to point out

that I am made of the fur of the MUSTELA MACULATA, which is dirty

from birth."

Fantastic Fables

The Ingenious Patriot

HAVING obtained an audience of the King an Ingenious Patriot pulled

a paper from his pocket, saying:

"May it please your Majesty, I have here a formula for constructing

armour-plating which no gun can pierce. If these plates are adopted in

the Royal Navy our warships will be invulnerable, and therefore

invincible. Here, also, are reports of your Majesty's Ministers, attesting

the value of the invention. I will part with my right in it for a million

tumtums."

After examining the papers, the King put them away and promised

him an order on the Lord High Treasurer of the Extortion Department

for a million tumtums.

"And here," said the Ingenious Patriot, pulling another paper from

another pocket, "are the working plans of a gun that I have invented,

which will pierce that armour. Your Majesty's Royal Brother, the

Emperor of Bang, is anxious to purchase it, but loyalty to your Majesty's

throne and person constrains me to offer it first to your Majesty. The

price is one million tumtums."

Having received the promise of another check, he thrust his hand

into still another pocket, remarking:

"The price of the irresistible gun would have been much greater,

your Majesty, but for the fact that its missiles can be so effectively

averted by my peculiar method of treating the armour plates with a new-

The King signed to the Great Head Factotum to approach.

"Search this man," he said, "and report how many pockets he has."

"Forty-three, Sire," said the Great Head Factotum, completing the

scrutiny.

"May it please your Majesty," cried the Ingenious Patriot, in terror,

"one of them contains tobacco."

"Hold him up by the ankles and shake him," said the King; "then

give him a check for forty-two million tumtums and put him to death.

Fantastic Fables

Let a decree issue declaring ingenuity a capital offence."

Fantastic Fables

Two Kings

THE King of Madagao, being engaged in a dispute with the King of

Bornegascar, wrote him as follows:

"Before proceeding further in this matter I demand the recall of your

Minister from my capital."

Greatly enraged by this impossible demand, the King of Bornegascar

replied:

"I shall not recall my Minister. Moreover, if you do not

immediately retract your demand I shall withdraw him!"

This threat so terrified the King of Madagao that in hastening to

comply he fell over his own feet, breaking the Third Commandment.

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摘要：

FantasticFables1FantasticFablesByAmbroseBierce,FantasticFables2AesopusEmendatusTheCatandtheYouthTheFarmerandHisSonsJupiterandtheBabyShowTheManandtheDogTheCatandtheBirdsMercuryandtheWoodchopperTheFoxandtheGrapesThePenitentThiefTheArcherandtheEagleTruthandtheTravellerTheWolfandtheLambTheLionandtheBoar...

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