MISS CIVILIZATION(文明小姐)

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MISS CIVILIZATION

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT

MISS CIVILIZATION

PEOPLE IN THE PLAY

ALICE GARDNER: Daughter of James K. Gardner, President of

the L.I. & W. Railroad

"UNCLE" JOSEPH HATCH: Alias "Gentleman Joe"

"BRICK" MEAKIN: Alias "Reddy, the Kid"

HARRY HAYES: Alias "Grand Stand" Harry

CAPTAIN LUCAS: Chief of Police

Policemen, Brakemen, Engineers

MISS CIVILIZATION

Scene--The dining room in the country house of James K. Gardner on

Long Island. In the back wall is a double doorway opening into a hall.

A curtain divided in the middle hangs across the entrance. On the wall

on either side of the doorway are two electric lights, and to the left is a

telephone. Further to the left is a sideboard. On it are set silver salvers,

candlesticks, and Christmas presents of silver. They still are in the red

flannel bags in which they arrived. In the left wall is a recessed window

hung with curtains. Against the right wall is a buffet on which is set a

tea-caddy, toast-rack, and tea kettle. Below the buffet a door opens into

the butler's pantry. A dinner table stands well down the stage with a chair

at each end and on either side. Two chairs are set against the back wall to

the right of the door. The walls and windows are decorated with holly

and mistletoe and Christmas wreaths tied with bows of scarlet ribbon.

When the window is opened there is a view of falling snow. At first the

room is in complete darkness.

The time is the day after Christmas, near midnight.

After the curtain rises, one hears the noise of a file scraping on iron.

It comes apparently from outside the house at a point distant from the

dining room. The filing is repeated cautiously, with a wait between each

stroke, as though the person using the file had paused to listen.

Alice Gardner enters at centre, carrying a lighted candle in a silver

candlestick. She wears a dressing gown, with swan's down around her

throat and at the edges of her sleeves. Her feet are in bedroom slippers

topped with fur. Her hair hangs down in a braid. After listening

intently to the sound of the file, she places candle on sideboard and goes to

telephone. She speaks in a whisper.

ALICE: Hello, Central. Hello, Central. (Impatiently) Wake up!

Wake up! Is that you, Central? Give me the station agent at Bedford

Junction--quick. What? I CAN'T speak louder. Well, you MUST hear

me. Give me the station agent at Bedford Junction. No, there's always

a man there all night. Hurry, please, hurry. (There is a pause, during

MISS CIVILIZATION

which the sound of the file grows louder. Alice listens apprehensively.)

Hello, are you the station agent? Good! Listen! I am Miss Gardner,

James K. Gardner's daughter. Yes, James K. Gardner, the president of the

road. This is his house. My mother and I are here alone. There are

three men trying to break in. Yes, burglars, of course. My mother is

very ill. If they frighten her the shock might--might be very serious.

Wake up the crew, and send the wrecking train here--at once. Send--the--

crew--of--the-- wrecking train here--quick. What? Then fire up an

engine and get it here as fast as you can.

VOICE: (calling from second story) Alice!

ALICE: (at telephone) Yes, you have. The up-track's clear until "52"

comes along. That's not until--

VOICE: (Louder) Alice!

ALICE: (with dismay) Mother! (At telephone) Hello, hold the wire.

Don't go away! (Runs to curtains, parts them, and looks up as though

speaking to some one at top of stairs) Mother, why AREN'T you in bed?

VOICE: Is anything wrong, Alice?

ALICE: No, dear, no. I just came down to--get a book I forgot.

Please go back, dearest.

VOICE: I heard you moving about. I thought you might be ill.

ALICE: No, dearest, but YOU'LL be very ill if you don't keep in bed.

Please, mother--at once. It's all right, it's all right.

VOICE: Yes, dear. Good night.

ALICE: Good night, mother. (Returns quickly to telephone) Hello!

Hello! Stop the engine at the foot of our lawn. Yes, yes, at the foot of

our lawn. And when you have the house surrounded, when the men are

all around the house, blow three whistles so I'll know you're here. What?

Oh, that's all right. The burglars will be here. I'LL see to that. All

YOU have to do is to GET here. If you don't you, you'll lose your job!

I say, if you don't, you'll lose your job, or I'm not the daughter of the

president of this road. NOW, YOU JUMP! And--wait--hello (turns

from telephone) He's jumped.

(The file is now drawn harshly across the bolt of the window of the

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摘要：

MISSCIVILIZATION1MISSCIVILIZATIONACOMEDYINONEACTMISSCIVILIZATION2PEOPLEINTHEPLAYALICEGARDNER:DaughterofJamesK.Gardner,PresidentoftheL.I.&W.Railroad"UNCLE"JOSEPHHATCH:Alias"GentlemanJoe""BRICK"MEAKIN:Alias"Reddy,theKid"HARRYHAYES:Alias"GrandStand"HarryCAPTAINLUCAS:ChiefofPolicePolicemen,Brakemen,Engi...

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