THE DOUBLE-DEALER(两面派)

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THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

THE DOUBLE-

DEALER--A COMEDY

by William Congreve

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE CHARLES

MONTAGUE, ONE OF THE LORDS OF THE

TREASURY.

Sir,--I heartily wish this play were as perfect as I intended it, that it

might be more worthy your acceptance, and that my dedication of it to you

might be more becoming that honour and esteem which I, with everybody

who is so fortunate as to know you, have for you. It had your

countenance when yet unknown; and now it is made public, it wants your

protection. I would not have anybody imagine that I think this play

without its faults, for I am conscious of several. I confess I designed

(whatever vanity or ambition occasioned that design) to have written a

true and regular comedy, but I found it an undertaking which put me in

mind of SUDET MULTUM, FRUSTRAQUE LABORET AUSUS IDEM.

And now, to make amends for the vanity of such a design, I do confess

both the attempt and the imperfect performance. Yet I must take the

boldness to say I have not miscarried in the whole, for the mechanical part

of it is regular. That I may say with as little vanity as a builder may say

he has built a house according to the model laid down before him, or a

gardener that he has set his flowers in a knot of such or such a figure. I

designed the moral first, and to that moral I invented the fable, and do not

know that I have borrowed one hint of it anywhere. I made the plot as

strong as I could because it was single, and I made it single because I

would avoid confusion, and was resolved to preserve the three unities of

the drama. Sir, this discourse is very impertinent to you, whose judgment

much better can discern the faults than I can excuse them; and whose good

nature, like that of a lover, will find out those hidden beauties (if there are

any such) which it would be great immodesty for me to discover. I think

I don't speak improperly when I call you a LOVER of poetry; for it is very

well known she has been a very kind mistress to you: she has not denied

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

you the last favour, and she has been fruitful to you in a most beautiful

issue. If I break off abruptly here, I hope everybody will understand that

it is to avoid a commendation which, as it is your due, would be most easy

for me to pay, and too troublesome for you to receive.

I have since the acting of this play harkened after the objections which

have been made to it, for I was conscious where a true critic might have

put me upon my defence. I was prepared for the attack, and am pretty

confident I could have vindicated some parts and excused others; and

where there were any plain miscarriages, I would most ingenuously have

confessed 'em. But I have not heard anything said sufficient to provoke

an answer. That which looks most like an objection does not relate in

particular to this play, but to all or most that ever have been written, and

that is soliloquy. Therefore I will answer it, not only for my own sake,

but to save others the trouble, to whom it may hereafter be objected.

I grant that for a man to talk to himself appears absurd and unnatural,

and indeed it is so in most cases; but the circumstances which may attend

the occasion make great alteration. It oftentimes happens to a man to

have designs which require him to himself, and in their nature cannot

admit of a confidant. Such for certain is all villainy, and other less

mischievous intentions may be very improper to be communicated to a

second person. In such a case, therefore, the audience must observe

whether the person upon the stage takes any notice of them at all or no.

For if he supposes any one to be by when he talks to himself, it is

monstrous and ridiculous to the last degree. Nay, not only in this case,

but in any part of a play, if there is expressed any knowledge of an

audience, it is insufferable. But otherwise, when a man in soliloquy

reasons with himself, and PRO'S and CON'S, and weighs all his designs,

we ought not to imagine that this man either talks to us or to himself; he is

only thinking, and thinking such matter as were inexcusable folly in him

to speak. But because we are concealed spectators of the plot in agitation,

and the poet finds it necessary to let us know the whole mystery of his

contrivance, he is willing to inform us of this person's thoughts; and to that

end is forced to make use of the expedient of speech, no other better way

being yet invented for the communication of thought.

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

Another very wrong objection has been made by some who have not

taken leisure to distinguish the characters. The hero of the play, as they

are pleased to call him (meaning Mellefont), is a gull, and made a fool,

and cheated. Is every man a gull and a fool that is deceived? At that

rate I'm afraid the two classes of men will be reduced to one, and the

knaves themselves be at a loss to justify their title. But if an open-

hearted honest man, who has an entire confidence in one whom he takes to

be his friend, and whom he has obliged to be so, and who, to confirm him

in his opinion, in all appearance and upon several trials has been so: if

this man be deceived by the treachery of the other, must he of necessity

commence fool immediately, only because the other has proved a villain?

Ay, but there was caution given to Mellefont in the first act by his friend

Careless. Of what nature was that caution? Only to give the audience

some light into the character of Maskwell before his appearance, and not

to convince Mellefont of his treachery; for that was more than Careless

was then able to do: he never knew Maskwell guilty of any villainy; he

was only a sort of man which he did not like. As for his suspecting his

familiarity with my Lady Touchwood, let 'em examine the answer that

Mellefont makes him, and compare it with the conduct of Maskwell's

character through the play.

I would beg 'em again to look into the character of Maskwell before

they accuse Mellefont of weakness for being deceived by him. For upon

summing up the enquiry into this objection, it may be found they have

mistaken cunning in one character for folly in another.

But there is one thing at which I am more concerned than all the false

criticisms that are made upon me, and that is, some of the ladies are

offended. I am heartily sorry for it, for I declare I would rather disoblige

all the critics in the world than one of the fair sex. They are concerned

that I have represented some women vicious and affected. How can I

help it? It is the business of a comic poet to paint the vices and follies of

humankind; and there are but two sexes, male and female, MEN and

WOMEN, which have a title to humanity, and if I leave one half of them

out, the work will be imperfect. I should be very glad of an opportunity

to make my compliment to those ladies who are offended; but they can no

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

more expect it in a comedy than to be tickled by a surgeon when he's

letting 'em blood. They who are virtuous or discreet should not be

offended, for such characters as these distinguish THEM, and make their

beauties more shining and observed; and they who are of the other kind

may nevertheless pass for such, by seeming not to be displeased or

touched with the satire of this COMEDY. Thus have they also

wrongfully accused me of doing them a prejudice, when I have in reality

done them a service.

You will pardon me, sir, for the freedom I take of making answers to

other people in an epistle which ought wholly to be sacred to you; but

since I intend the play to be so too, I hope I may take the more liberty of

justifying it where it is in the right.

I must now, sir, declare to the world how kind you have been to my

endeavours; for in regard of what was well meant, you have excused what

was ill performed. I beg you would continue the same method in your

acceptance of this dedication. I know no other way of making a return to

that humanity you shewed, in protecting an infant, but by enrolling it in

your service, now that it is of age and come into the world. Therefore be

pleased to accept of this as an acknowledgment of the favour you have

shewn me, and an earnest of the real service and gratitude of,

Sir, your most obliged, humble servant,

WILLIAM CONGREVE.

TO MY DEAR FRIEND MR. CONGREVE, ON

HIS COMEDY CALLED THE DOUBLE-DEALER.

Well then, the promised hour is come at last; The present age of wit

obscures the past. Strong were our sires; and as they fought they writ,

Conqu'ring with force of arms and dint of wit. Theirs was the giant race,

before the flood; And thus, when Charles returned, our empire stood. Like

Janus he the stubborn soil manured, With rules of husbandry the rankness

cured, Tamed us to manners, when the stage was rude, And boist'rous

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

English wit with art indued. Our age was cultivated thus at length; But

what we gained in skill we lost in strength. Our builders were with want of

genius curst; The second temple was not like the first: Till you, the best

Vitruvius, come at length, Our beauties equal, but excel our strength. Firm

Doric pillars found your solid base, The fair Corinthian crowns the higher

space; Thus all below is strength, and all above is grace. In easy dialogue

is Fletcher's praise: He moved the mind, but had no power to raise. Great

Johnson did by strength of judgment please Yet doubling Fletcher's force,

he wants ease. In diff'ring talents both adorned their age; One for the study,

t'other for the stage. But both to Congreve justly shall submit, One

matched in judgment, both o'er-matched in wit. In him all beauties of this

age we see, Etherege his courtship, Southern's purity, The satire, wit, and

strength of manly Wycherly. All this in blooming youth you have achieved,

Nor are your foiled contemporaries grieved; So much the sweetness of

your manners move, We cannot envy you, because we love. Fabius might

joy in Scipio, when he saw A beardless consul made against the law, And

join his suffrage to the votes of Rome; Though he with Hannibal was

overcome. Thus old Romano bowed to Raphael's fame, And scholar to the

youth he taught became.

O that your brows my laurel had sustained, Well had I been deposed if

you had reigned! The father had descended for the son, For only you are

lineal to the throne. Thus when the state one Edward did depose, A greater

Edward in his room arose. But now, not I, but poetry is cursed; For Tom

the Second reigns like Tom the First. But let 'em not mistake my patron's

part, Nor call his charity their own desert. Yet this I prophesy: Thou shalt

be seen (Though with some short parenthesis between) High on the throne

of wit; and seated there, Not mine (that's little) but thy laurel wear. Thy

first attempt an early promise made; That early promise this has more than

paid. So bold, yet so judiciously you dare, That your least praise is to be

regular. Time, place, and action may with pains be wrought, But genius

must be born, and never can be taught. This is your portion, this your

native store, Heav'n, that but once was prodigal before, To Shakespeare

gave as much; she could not give him more.

Maintain your post: that's all the fame you need; For 'tis impossible

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

you should proceed. Already I am worn with cares and age, And just

abandoning th' ungrateful stage: Unprofitably kept at heav'n's expense, I

live a rent-charge on his providence. But you, whom every muse and grace

adorn, Whom I foresee to better fortune born, Be kind to my remains; and

oh, defend, Against your judgment, your departed friend! Let not th'

insulting foe my fame pursue; But shade those laurels which descend to

you: And take for tribute what these lines express: You merit more; nor

could my love do less.

JOHN DRYDEN.

PROLOGUE--Spoken by Mrs. Bracegirdle.

Moors have this way (as story tells) to know Whether their brats are

truly got or no; Into the sea the new-born babe is thrown, There, as instinct

directs, to swim or drown. A barbarous device, to try if spouse Has kept

religiously her nuptial vows.

Such are the trials poets make of plays, Only they trust to more

inconstant seas; So does our author, this his child commit To the

tempestuous mercy of the pit, To know if it be truly born of wit.

Critics avaunt, for you are fish of prey, And feed, like sharks, upon an

infant play. Be ev'ry monster of the deep away; Let's have a fair trial and a

clear sea.

Let nature work, and do not damn too soon, For life will struggle long

e'er it sink down: And will at least rise thrice before it drown. Let us

consider, had it been our fate, Thus hardly to be proved legitimate: I will

not say, we'd all in danger been, Were each to suffer for his mother's sin:

But by my troth I cannot avoid thinking, How nearly some good men

might have 'scaped sinking. But, heav'n be praised, this custom is confined

Alone to th' offspring of the muses kind: Our Christian cuckolds are more

bent to pity; I know not one Moor-husband in the city. I' th' good man's

arms the chopping bastard thrives, For he thinks all his own that is his

wives'.

Whatever fate is for this play designed, The poet's sure he shall some

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

comfort find: For if his muse has played him false, the worst That can

befall him, is, to be divorced: You husbands judge, if that be to be cursed.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

MEN.

MASKWELL, a villain; pretended friend to Mellefont, gallant to

Lady Touchwood, and in love with Cynthia,--Mr. Betterton

LORD TOUCHWOOD, uncle to Mellefont,--Mr. Kynaston

MELLEFONT, promised to, and in love with Cynthia,--Mr. Williams

CARELESS, his friend,--Mr. Verbruggen

LORD FROTH, a solemn coxcomb,--Mr. Bowman

BRISK, a pert coxcomb,--Mr. Powell

SIR PAUL PLYANT, an uxorious, foolish old knight; brother to Lady

Touchwood, and father to Cynthia,--Mr. Dogget

WOMEN.

LADY TOUCHWOOD, in love with Mellefont,--Mrs. Barry

CYNTHIA, daughter to Sir Paul by a former wife, promised to

Mellefont,--Mrs. Bracegirdle

LADY FROTH, a great coquette; pretender to poetry, wit, and

learning,--Mrs. Mountfort

LADY PLYANT, insolent to her husband, and easy to any pretender,--

Mrs. Leigh

CHAPLAIN, BOY, FOOTMEN, AND ATTENDANTS.

THE SCENE: A gallery in the Lord Touchwood's house, with

chambers adjoining.

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

ACT I.

SCENE I.

A gallery in the Lord Touchwood's home, with chambers adjoining.

Enter CARELESS, crossing the stage, with his hat, gloves, and sword

in his hands; as just risen from table: MELLEFONT following him.

MEL. Ned, Ned, whither so fast? What, turned flincher! Why,

you wo' not leave us?

CARE. Where are the women? I'm weary of guzzling, and begin to

think them the better company.

MEL. Then thy reason staggers, and thou'rt almost drunk.

CARE. No, faith, but your fools grow noisy; and if a man must

endure the noise of words without sense, I think the women have more

musical voices, and become nonsense better.

MEL. Why, they are at the end of the gallery; retired to their tea and

scandal, according to their ancient custom, after dinner. But I made a

pretence to follow you, because I had something to say to you in private,

and I am not like to have many opportunities this evening.

CARE. And here's this coxcomb most critically come to interrupt

you.

SCENE II.

[To them] BRISK.

BRISK. Boys, boys, lads, where are you? What, do you give

ground? Mortgage for a bottle, ha? Careless, this is your trick; you're

always spoiling company by leaving it.

CARE. And thou art always spoiling company by coming in o't.

BRISK. Pooh, ha, ha, ha, I know you envy me. Spite, proud spite,

by the gods! and burning envy. I'll be judged by Mellefont here, who

THE DOUBLE-DEALER--A COMEDY

gives and takes raillery better than you or I. Pshaw, man, when I say you

spoil company by leaving it, I mean you leave nobody for the company to

laugh at. I think there I was with you. Ha, Mellefont?

MEL. O' my word, Brisk, that was a home thrust; you have silenced

him.

BRISK. Oh, my dear Mellefont, let me perish if thou art not the soul

of conversation, the very essence of wit and spirit of wine. The deuce take

me if there were three good things said, or one understood, since thy

amputation from the body of our society. He, I think that's pretty and

metaphorical enough; i'gad I could not have said it out of thy company.

Careless, ha?

CARE. Hum, ay, what is't?

BRISK. O MON COEUR! What is't! Nay, gad, I'll punish you

for want of apprehension. The deuce take me if I tell you.

MEL. No, no, hang him, he has no taste. But, dear Brisk, excuse

me, I have a little business.

CARE. Prithee get thee gone; thou seest we are serious.

MEL. We'll come immediately, if you'll but go in and keep up good

humour and sense in the company. Prithee do, they'll fall asleep else.

BRISK. I'gad, so they will. Well, I will, I will; gad, you shall

command me from the Zenith to the Nadir. But the deuce take me if I

say a good thing till you come. But prithee, dear rogue, make haste,

prithee make haste, I shall burst else. And yonder your uncle, my Lord

Touchwood, swears he'll disinherit you, and Sir Paul Plyant threatens to

disclaim you for a son-in-law, and my Lord Froth won't dance at your

wedding to-morrow; nor, the deuce take me, I won't write your

Epithalamium--and see what a condition you're like to be brought to.

MEL. Well, I'll speak but three words, and follow you.

BRISK. Enough, enough. Careless, bring your apprehension along

with you.

SCENE III.

MELLEFONT, CARELESS.

CARE. Pert coxcomb.

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THEDOUBLE-DEALER--ACOMEDY1THEDOUBLE-DEALER--ACOMEDYbyWilliamCongreveTHEDOUBLE-DEALER--ACOMEDY2TOTHERIGHTHONOURABLECHARLESMONTAGUE,ONEOFTHELORDSOFTHETREASURY.Sir,--IheartilywishthisplaywereasperfectasIintendedit,thatitmightbemoreworthyyouracceptance,andthatmydedicationofittoyoumightbemorebecomingthat...

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