Twelfth Night; or What You Will(第十二夜)

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TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR,

WHAT YOU WILL

William Shakespeare

1602

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

ORSINO, Duke of Illyria SEBASTIAN, brother of Viola ANTONIO, a

sea captain, friend of Sebastian A SEA CAPTAIN, friend of Viola

VALENTINE, gentleman attending on the Duke CURIO, gentleman

attending on the Duke SIR TOBY BELCH, uncle of Olivia SIR ANDREW

AGUECHEEK MALVOLIO, steward to Olivia FABIAN, servant to

Olivia FESTE, a clown, servant to Olivia

OLIVIA, a rich countess VIOLA, sister of Sebastian MARIA,

Olivia's waiting woman

Lords, Priests, Sailors, Officers, Musicians, and Attendants

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

ACT I.

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

SCENE I. The DUKE'S palace

Enter ORSINO, Duke of Illyria, CURIO, and other LORDS;

MUSICIANS attending

DUKE. If music be the food of love, play on, Give me excess of it,

that, surfeiting, The appetite may sicken and so die. That strain again! It

had a dying fall; O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound That breathes

upon a bank of violets, Stealing and giving odour! Enough, no more; 'Tis

not so sweet now as it was before. O spirit of love, how quick and fresh art

thou! That, notwithstanding thy capacity Receiveth as the sea, nought

enters there, Of what validity and pitch soe'er, But falls into abatement and

low price Even in a minute. So full of shapes is fancy, That it alone is high

fantastical. CURIO. Will you go hunt, my lord? DUKE. What, Curio?

CURIO. The hart. DUKE. Why, so I do, the noblest that I have. O, when

mine eyes did see Olivia first, Methought she purg'd the air of pestilence!

That instant was I turn'd into a hart, And my desires, like fell and cruel

hounds, E'er since pursue me.

Enter VALENTINE

How now! what news from her? VALENTINE. So please my lord, I

might not be admitted, But from her handmaid do return this answer: The

element itself, till seven years' heat, Shall not behold her face at ample

view; But like a cloistress she will veiled walk, And water once a day her

chamber round With eye-offending brine; all this to season A brother's

dead love, which she would keep fresh And lasting in her sad

remembrance. DUKE. O, she that hath a heart of that fine frame To pay

this debt of love but to a brother, How will she love when the rich golden

shaft Hath kill'd the flock of all affections else That live in her; when liver,

brain, and heart, These sovereign thrones, are all supplied and fill'd, Her

sweet perfections, with one self king! Away before me to sweet beds of

flow'rs: Love-thoughts lie rich when canopied with bow'rs. Exeunt

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

SCENE II. The sea-coast

Enter VIOLA, a CAPTAIN, and SAILORS

VIOLA. What country, friends, is this? CAPTAIN. This is Illyria,

lady. VIOLA. And what should I do in Illyria? My brother he is in

Elysium. Perchance he is not drown'd- what think you, sailors? CAPTAIN.

It is perchance that you yourself were saved. VIOLA. O my poor brother!

and so perchance may he be. CAPTAIN. True, madam, and, to comfort

you with chance, Assure yourself, after our ship did split, When you, and

those poor number saved with you, Hung on our driving boat, I saw your

brother, Most provident in peril, bind himself- Courage and hope both

teaching him the practice- To a strong mast that liv'd upon the sea; Where,

like Arion on the dolphin's back, I saw him hold acquaintance with the

waves So long as I could see. VIOLA. For saying so, there's gold. Mine

own escape unfoldeth to my hope, Whereto thy speech serves for authority,

The like of him. Know'st thou this country? CAPTAIN. Ay, madam, well;

for I was bred and born Not three hours' travel from this very place.

VIOLA. Who governs here? CAPTAIN. A noble duke, in nature as in

name. VIOLA. What is his name? CAPTAIN. Orsino. VIOLA. Orsino! I

have heard my father name him. He was a bachelor then. CAPTAIN. And

so is now, or was so very late; For but a month ago I went from hence,

And then 'twas fresh in murmur- as, you know, What great ones do the less

will prattle of- That he did seek the love of fair Olivia. VIOLA. What's she?

CAPTAIN. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count That died some

twelvemonth since, then leaving her In the protection of his son, her

brother, Who shortly also died; for whose dear love, They say, she hath

abjur'd the company And sight of men. VIOLA. O that I serv'd that lady,

And might not be delivered to the world, Till I had made mine own

occasion mellow, What my estate is! CAPTAIN. That were hard to

compass, Because she will admit no kind of suit- No, not the Duke's.

VIOLA. There is a fair behaviour in thee, Captain; And though that nature

with a beauteous wall Doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee I will believe

thou hast a mind that suits With this thy fair and outward character. I

prithee, and I'll pay thee bounteously, Conceal me what I am, and be my

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

aid For such disguise as haply shall become The form of my intent. I'll

serve this duke: Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him; It may be

worth thy pains, for I can sing And speak to him in many sorts of music,

That will allow me very worth his service. What else may hap to time I

will commit; Only shape thou silence to my wit. CAPTAIN. Be you his

eunuch and your mute I'll be; When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes

not see. VIOLA. I thank thee. Lead me on. Exeunt

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

SCENE III. OLIVIA'S house

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA

SIR TOBY. What a plague means my niece to take the death of her

brother thus? I am sure care's an enemy to life. MARIA. By my troth, Sir

Toby, you must come in earlier o' nights; your cousin, my lady, takes great

exceptions to your ill hours. SIR TOBY. Why, let her except before

excepted. MARIA. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest

limits of order. SIR TOBY. Confine! I'll confine myself no finer than I am.

These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too; an

they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps. MARIA. That

quaffing and drinking will undo you; I heard my lady talk of it yesterday,

and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

SIR TOBY. Who? Sir Andrew Aguecheek? MARIA. Ay, he. SIR TOBY.

He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria. MARIA. What's that to th' purpose?

SIR TOBY. Why, he has three thousand ducats a year. MARIA. Ay, but

he'll have but a year in all these ducats; he's a very fool and a prodigal.

SIR TOBY. Fie that you'll say so! He plays o' th' viol-de-gamboys, and

speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all

the good gifts of nature. MARIA. He hath indeed, almost natural; for,

besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; and but that he hath the gift

of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the

prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave. SIR TOBY. By this

hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him. Who are they?

MARIA. They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.

SIR TOBY. With drinking healths to my niece; I'll drink to her as long as

there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. He's a coward and a

coystrill that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o' th' toe like a

parish-top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo! for here comes Sir Andrew

Agueface.

Enter SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK

AGUECHEEK. Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch! SIR

TOBY. Sweet Sir Andrew! AGUECHEEK. Bless you, fair shrew. MARIA.

And you too, sir. SIR TOBY. Accost, Sir Andrew, accost. AGUECHEEK.

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

What's that? SIR TOBY. My niece's chambermaid. AGUECHEEK. Good

Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance. MARIA. My name is Mary,

sir. AGUECHEEK. Good Mistress Mary Accost- SIR Toby. You mistake,

knight. 'Accost' is front her, board her, woo her, assail her. AGUECHEEK.

By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the

meaning of 'accost'? MARIA. Fare you well, gentlemen. SIR TOBY. An

thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again!

AGUECHEEK. An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw

sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand? MARIA. Sir,

I have not you by th' hand. AGUECHEEK. Marry, but you shall have; and

here's my hand. MARIA. Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your

hand to th' buttry-bar and let it drink. AGUECHEEK. Wherefore,

sweetheart? What's your metaphor? MARIA. It's dry, sir. AGUECHEEK.

Why, I think so; I am not such an ass but I can keep my hand dry. But

what's your jest? MARIA. A dry jest, sir. AGUECHEEK. Are you full of

them? MARIA. Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers' ends; marry, now I let

go your hand, I am barren. Exit MARIA SIR TOBY. O knight, thou lack'st

a cup of canary! When did I see thee so put down? AGUECHEEK. Never

in your life, I think; unless you see canary put me down. Methinks

sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has; but

I am great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit. SIR

TOBY. No question. AGUECHEEK. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll

ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby. SIR TOBY. Pourquoi, my dear knight?

AGUECHEEK. What is 'pourquoi'- do or not do? I would I had bestowed

that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting.

Oh, had I but followed the arts! SIR TOBY. Then hadst thou had an

excellent head of hair. AGUECHEEK. Why, would that have mended my

hair? SIR TOBY. Past question; for thou seest it will not curl by nature.

AGUECHEEK. But it becomes me well enough, does't not? SIR TOBY.

Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff, and I hope to see a huswife take

thee between her legs and spin it off. AGUECHEEK. Faith, I'll home to-

morrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen, or if she be, it's four to one

she'll none of me; the Count himself here hard by woos her. SIR TOBY.

She'll none o' th' Count; she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate,

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

years, nor wit; I have heard her swear't. Tut, there's life in't, man.

AGUECHEEK. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' th' strangest mind

i' th' world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether. SIR

TOBY. Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight? AGUECHEEK. As

any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters; and

yet I will not compare with an old man. SIR TOBY. What is thy excellence

in a galliard, knight? AGUECHEEK. Faith, I can cut a caper. SIR TOBY.

And I can cut the mutton to't. AGUECHEEK. And I think I have the back-

trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria. SIR TOBY. Wherefore are

these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before 'em? Are they

like to take dust, like Mistress Mall's picture? Why dost thou not go to

church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be

a jig; I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost

thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent

constitution of thy leg, it was form'd under the star of a galliard.

AGUECHEEK. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in flame-

colour'd stock. Shall we set about some revels? SIR TOBY. What shall we

do else? Were we not born under Taurus? AGUECHEEK. Taurus? That's

sides and heart. SIR TOBY. No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Let me see the

caper. Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent! Exeunt

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

SCENE IV. The DUKE'S palace

Enter VALENTINE, and VIOLA in man's attire

VALENTINE. If the Duke continue these favours towards you,

Cesario, you are like to be much advanc'd; he hath known you but three

days, and already you are no stranger. VIOLA. You either fear his humour

or my negligence, that you call in question the continuance of his love. Is

he inconstant, sir, in his favours? VALENTINE. No, believe me.

Enter DUKE, CURIO, and ATTENDANTS

VIOLA. I thank you. Here comes the Count. DUKE. Who saw

Cesario, ho? VIOLA. On your attendance, my lord, here. DUKE. Stand

you awhile aloof. Cesario, Thou know'st no less but all; I have unclasp'd

To thee the book even of my secret soul. Therefore, good youth, address

thy gait unto her; Be not denied access, stand at her doors, And tell them

there thy fixed foot shall grow Till thou have audience. VIOLA. Sure, my

noble lord, If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow As it is spoke, she never

will admit me. DUKE. Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds, Rather

than make unprofited return. VIOLA. Say I do speak with her, my lord,

what then? DUKE. O, then unfold the passion of my love, Surprise her

with discourse of my dear faith! It shall become thee well to act my woes:

She will attend it better in thy youth Than in a nuncio's of more grave

aspect. VIOLA. I think not so, my lord. DUKE. Dear lad, believe it, For

they shall yet belie thy happy years That say thou art a man: Diana's lip Is

not more smooth and rubious; thy small pipe Is as the maiden's organ,

shrill and sound, And all is semblative a woman's part. I know thy

constellation is right apt For this affair. Some four or five attend him- All,

if you will, for I myself am best When least in company. Prosper well in

this, And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord To call his fortunes thine.

VIOLA. I'll do my best To woo your lady. [Aside] Yet, a barful strife!

Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.

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TWELFTHNIGHT;OR,WHATYOUWILL1TWELFTHNIGHT;OR,WHATYOUWILLWilliamShakespeare1602TWELFTHNIGHT;OR,WHATYOUWILL2DRAMATISPERSONAEORSINO,DukeofIllyriaSEBASTIAN,brotherofViolaANTONIO,aseacaptain,friendofSebastianASEACAPTAIN,friendofViolaVALENTINE,gentlemanattendingontheDukeCURIO,gentlemanattendingontheDukeSIR...

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