Who Was Who_5000 B. C. to Date(谁是谁)

VIP免费

2024-12-25 0 0 251.93KB 79 页 5.9玖币

侵权投诉

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B.

C. to Date

Biographical Dictionary of the Famous and Those Who Wanted to

Edited by Irwin L. Gordon

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

NOTE

THE editor begs leave to inform the public that only persons who can

produce proper evidence of their demise will be admitted to Who Was

Who. Press Agent notices or complimentary comments are absolutely

excluded, and those offering to pay for the insertion of names will be

prosecuted. As persons become eligible they will be included without

solicitation, while the pages will be expurgated of others should good luck

warrant.

Who Was Who contains over 500 biographies of those who did or

endeavored to become famous. In a work of such magnitude errors

occasionally occur. Should this be the case, the editor will be glad to

receive corrections from the ex-celebrities or their enemies. These will be

accepted gratis. Proofs will be sent to all subscribers. Members of the

family will be able to order the coming editions in advance by applying

and remitting to the publisher.

The work is fully protected by the libel laws of the United States and

Great Britain. Under no circumstance will duels be fought.

The editor wishes to express his thanks to those who have furnished

material for this book. He also trusts they will show their good feeling by

purchasing a copy, and that all the unfortunates will speedily be returned

to Who's Who. THE EDITOR.

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

ADAM[1] (last name unknown), ancestor, explorer, gardener, and

inaugurator of history. Biographers differ as to his parentage. Born first

Saturday of year 1. Little is known of his childhood. Education: Self-

educated. Entered the gardening and orchard business when a young man.

Was a strong anti-polygamist. Married Eve, a close relative. Children,

Cain and Abel (see them). Was prosperous for some years, but eventually

fell prey to his wife's fruitful ambitions. Lost favor of the proprietor of the

garden, and failed in business. A. started a number of things which have

not been perfected. Diet: Fond of apples. Recreation: Chess, agriculture.

Address: Eden, General Delivery. Clubs: Member of all exclusive clubs.

[1] Ed. Note: Adam should not be first, but he is given that position

out of respect.

ABEL, son of the above. Spent early days in the Garden of Eden with

his parents, and later traveled with them. Conducted a sheep raising

business. Finally had a row with his brother, and was knocked out in the

first round. ABRAHAM, a patriarch whose descendants now own New

York City, Jerusalem, vast sections of the remainder of the globe, and

control the pawn-broking, diamond, theatrical, and old clothing markets.

Camel and sheep merchant. Considerable land was willed him. A.

prospered. Married Sarah (last name unknown). Marital infelicity followed,

A. having an affair with Mrs. Abraham's maid. The woman was

discharged, and the family lived happily ever afterward. Ambition: The

chosen people. Recreation: Riding, tennis, camel racing. Address: Caanan.

Clubs: Country.

ABRUSSI, Prince Luigi Amedeo Guiseppe Maria Ferdinando

Francesco, of the Italian nobility. Spent the greater portion of his life

taking care of his name, climbing mountains, fighting Turks, and denying

rumors regarding his marriage.

ACHILLES (first name unknown), a baby whose mother gave him a

bath, but forgot to wash all of his feet. Later was veteran of the siege of

Troy. Died before receiving pension.

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

AESOP, novelist, nature faker. Little is known of his childhood except

that he was fond of dogs and played with the cat. Later he made animals

his life's study. A. discovered the zoological principal that a turtle can run

faster than a rabbit, and that foxes never eat sour grapes. Publications:

Fables; the book has had a good sale. Address: Greece. Clubs: Zoological

Societies.

ALADDIN, of Somewhere. An ancient who possessed a lamp and a

genii with which he could secure anything an American millionaire or

actress can now purchase.

ALDRICH, Senator N. W., architect of the Aldrich Plan, a system for

removing the financial interests of the country from the common people

and placing them in the hands of the few.

ALPHONSO XIII, a king who enjoyed Paris without losing his job.

AMUNDSON, Captain Roald, another pole discoverer. Away back in

the year 1912 he reached the south pole after a considerable journey

through the Arctic regions. Like his predecessors he became an author and

lecturer. Publications: The South Pole. Price, Pd2.2S in England; $10.50 in

the U. S. Later A. retired and lived on his royalty. Ambition: A few more

poles, a few more books.

ANANIAS. See Dr. Cook and Roosevelt.

ANDERSON, Mary, actress; one of the wisest women who ever lived.

In the height of a brilliant stage career she fell in love, and decided that a

quiet home with a husband and children was more to be desired than the

empty plaudits of the crowd, and the attentions of stage-door Johnnies.

ANGELO, Mike, painter and sculptor of no mean ability. Born in Italy,

but named after Irish relatives. At school he showed his talents by making

cartoons of the teachers. These were unappreciated. Moved to Florence,

where he bought some chisels, brushes, and saw his first model. A.

remained a bachelor. Later he moved to Rome, and began a brilliant

church-decorating career. Secured permission of the Pope to give an

exhibition in the Vatican. This was finally made permanent. Also made a

fortune erecting tomb-stones for the Medici family, leading politicians of

his time. It is difficult to leave Italy without seeing much of his work. A.

never favored the cubists or post-impressionists. Recreations: Painting,

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

sculpture. Address: Rome.

ANTHONY, Saint, of Pauda. An Italian who visited Paris, and could

not forget what he saw.

ANTOINETTE, Marie, wife of Louis No. 15, who assisted her

husband to spend the French taxes. Was also a practical joker, her humor

terminating at Versailles when she advised a mob to eat cake during a

bread famine. Her wit was unappreciated. Ambition: Anything but October

16, 1791. Recreation: Versailles; looking through a grated window.

Address: Versailles. Later: Consiergerie, Paris.

APOLLO, a handsome ancient who fell in love, posed for his statues,

patronized music and poetry, and, finally, had a table water named in his

honor. Career: See longer and less respectable biographies. A. was the first

person to sing to the accompaniment of a musical instrument, but he was a

good singer. Ambition: Paris. Recreation: Music, travel, archery. Address:

Greece. Clubs: Athletic, musical.

ARC, Joan of, celebrated French suffragette. Spent girlhood milking

cows and embroidering. When the English ministry began operations in

France J. dropped her embroidery in the milk bucket and began

suffragetting. She did not break windows or blow up anything. Gathered a

host of males about her and captured towns. English exited. J. went back

to the cow, but again had to take to the armor. She was finally jailed, and

burnt up by the Radical ministry. She burned an old maid. Recreation:

Barn dances, churning. Clubs: Orleans Suffragette.

ARISTOTLE. Introduced brains into Greece.

ARMOUR, a Chicago family who keep the world supplied with meat,

and themselves out of the government jails.

ARNOLD, Benedict, a man who sent his name down through history

with a bad odor attached to it.

ARTHUR, King, a very dead English sovereign who manufactured the

Round Table, and did all the things a good English king should do. Little

is known of his Prince of Waleshood. Was crowned in Westminster Abbey,

but without the American contingent. Became proficient as a knight.

Stayed away from the palace so much his queen began flirting. Al's sword

was a wonder. Press Agent: Lord Tennyson. recreation: Grailing. Address:

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

Windsor, Buckingham.

ASQUITH, Herbert Henry, an Englishman who helped run things in

his country before 1908, and who ran things after 1908. Was also a

favorite rallying point for suffragettes. Led a successful wing-dipping

expedition against some of his countrymen who held titles to names and

property. Also juggled dynamite in Parliament (see Lloyd-George).

Ambition: Women without ambitions. Recreation: Dodging, golf. Address:

Constantly in danger of a change. Clubs: Favored Radical.

ATKINS, Thomas, celebrated red-coat-wearing dandy who flirts with

nurses and cooks, spends his time boasting about South Africa and the U.

S. A., posing for motion pictures, and exhibiting royalty. Authorities differ

as to his marksmanship, although it is now conceded he can often hit a

man-sized target at the distance of 4 feet 3 inches. Weather, however, must

be clear. Is an authority on creases, backbone, accent, and tea. Beverage:

Everything. Recreation: Jacks, collecting stamps, Kipling, blindman's-buff,

parlor tricks, May-pole festivities. Ambition: Tortoise-shell monocles,

camp manacurists, pocket bath-tubs, and restoration of the tea canteen.

Epitaph: See Emperor William.

ATLAS, a man who held up the heavens and was not even a preacher.

Edited a huge book which bears his name.

AURELIUS, Marcus, one of the few Romans who is not remembered

for crossing a river, for being murdered, for murdering somebody, for

making speeches, or building triumphant arches or ruins.

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

BABY, T. H. E., an unscrupulous tyrant, s. father and mother. His first

appearance caused heaven at home, and an idiotic father. Education: At

home. Career: A series of adventures. Was frequently ill, a poor sleeper,

toy demolisher, throat exerciser, nurse distractor, and a general nuisance.

Despite his shortcomings he ruled Home with an iron hand--a tear caused

a doctor-- a smile meant a gold mine. Diet: Principally liquid. Ambition:

The moon. Recreation: Coaching, hair pulling, a proud father. Address:

See Mother.

BACCHUS, patron saint of most men, benefactor, a jolly good fellow,

and the founder of the "morning after" feeling. Studied vine raising when a

young man. Discovered that grapes were not intended for a food. Invented

the greatest pleasure and pain giver the world has ever seen. Became a

traveler. Introduced ale and stout in England, whiskey in Scotland,

everything in Ireland, cocktails and patent medicines in the United States,

beer in Germany, champagne in France, absinthe in France, and vodka in

Russia. Career: Magnificent. Recreation: Paris. Address: Greece. Clubs:

All, except W. C. T. U. Epitaph: He Will Live In The Throats Of His

Countrymen.

BACON, Francis, either wrote or did not write Shakespeare.

BAEDEKER, Karl, one of the most versatile men who ever lived.

Childhood and old age unknown. Formed an ambition to travel when quite

young. First visited Switzerland, where he climbed every peak, walked

every path, hired every guide, and did everything a tourist should so. His

field of travel widened until every country in Europe was visited, as well

as the United States, Canada, Alaska, and Mexico. In these lands he slept

in every hotel, ate every dish in every restaurant, drank every wine, rode

on every boat, tramway, subway, and train; visited every ruin, museum, art

gallery, church, store; mastered every language, science, art, literature,

custom, history, and drew maps and plans of everything. Publications:

Baedekers. Recreation: Staying at home. Ambition: Tourists. Residence:

Germany.

BALFOUR, Arthur James, of England, one time leader of the talking

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

forces of the House of Commons. Ambition: Opposition seats on both

sides of the house, and an epitaph over the home rule bill. Recreation: St.

Andrew's golf and writing deep books.

BALZAC, H., a Frenchman who wrote a few Parisian stories which

may be discussed in respectable company.

BARBAROSSA, Kaiser, the only emperor of Germany who ever went

to sleep.

BARKIS. Fame rested only upon his complete willingness.

BARLEYCORN, John, an eminent citizen of the world. Spent early

days in the fields, breweries, and distilleries. Later resided in cellars. John

had a red nose. Was a great friend of Bacchus. He was a "wasser," he is an

"iser," and he will be a "will be-er." Ambition: The end of temperance

societies.

BARNUM, Phineas T., fathered the introduction of the peanut, the

clown, and the beautiful bareback riders. As a side show he taught that

some Americans were Progressives part of the time; that other Americans

were Republicans all the time, but that all Americans were not Democrats

all the time.

BARRY, Madame Du, writers' model, former queen of France. Was a

great friend of Louis XV. and helped make the dances at Versailles a

success. She always preferred marcel waves to pompadours. Ambition: To

have and to hold. Address: See Louis. Clubs: Anti-suffragette.

BARTHOLOMEW, an unfortunate saint who was skinned alive.

Patron of gold mine investors and American tourists in Europe.

BEARD, Blue, inventor of an original method to dispose of wives,

before Reno was discovered.

BEATRICE, a Florentine girl who gained fame by refusing the suit of

a love-sick poet. Later she conducted him through heaven, and made

arrangements for his travels in the other place. B. died a famous old maid.

Ambition: A lover with money. Epitaph: She Might Have Been Mrs. Dante

Had She Wanted To.

BEECHAM, a celebrated pill roller.

BELL, Alexander Graham, inventor of a well-known necessity and

nuisance. Started the saying, "Number, please."

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

BELSHAZZAR, an old king whose handwriting on the wall proved to

be correct.

BENEDICT, Saint, the man who introduced benedictine and monks

into Europe. Also gave his name to benedicts.

BERLITZ, the man who will teach you how to say it in everything.

BERNHARDT, Sarah, an ancient French actress. Sarah was born

before birth records were inaugurated, and no historian has been able to

determine her age. Career: On the stage at four months. During her young-

woman and goodlooking days-hood B. is said to have made a hit with

European nobility. In her declining years she made a few other fortunes in

the United States. B.'s fame culminated in having several cigars, perfumes,

perspiration powders, and a theatre named after her. Ambition: The

fountain of youth. Recreation: Statuary, acting. Address: Private cars and

56 Blvd. Pereire, Paris. She also has a telephone.

BILL, Buffalo, alias W. F. Cody, the delight of the American boy. He

began his career shooting buffaloes and Indians on the plains of the West,

and ended it shooting glass balls for a fortune in a tent. Installed the I-

want-to-be-a-cow-boy ambition in the hearts of young America. He also

made a goatee and a big hat famous. Played the show market a little too

long.

BILLIKEN, a funny little fellow who did not wear many clothes, and

made people laugh.

BISMARCK, a German who was a greater politician than any Ireland

has ever produced. He built an empire, crowned an emperor, changed the

Frenchmen in Alsace-Lorraine into Dutchmen, and made the Paris mint

work overtime for his country. Quite unpopular in France. Ambition:

Made in Germany.

BLACKSTONE, a rock upon which many a legal ship has foundered.

BLERIOT, benefactor of humanity, idol of the tourist, and enemy of

navigation. B. discovered a method of crossing the English Channel

without being seasick.

BLUCHER, a Dutchman who was on the job at Waterloo. He also was

not the only German general who ever fought France.

BONAPARTE, Joe, just Nap.'s brother (see him).

WHO WAS WHO 5000 B. C. to Date

BONHEUR, Rosa, a lady French artist who wore men's clothes. Being

an old maid, she painted animals, but never mastered the parrot or the cat.

Her endeavors were confined to horses, and one of her paintings is

considered fair.

BOOTH, General William, founder of a vast army which never fought

a battle, made a retreat, or surrendered. Conducted campaigns in Great

Britain and the United States, with brass bands and collection devises. The

army later became a suffragette institution when women were admitted as

recruits, and placed as sentries to guard the Christmas-Easter collection

forts. Publication: War Cry. Recreation: Reviewing troopers and

troopesses.

BOSWELL, Dr. Johnson's press agent (see the Doctor).

BRADSTREET, author. Wrote a book in which he described your

bank account and told how you paid your bills. His complimentary

comments are highly valued.

BRIEUX, Eugene, a seller of damaged goods who got away with it

without being fined or driven out of business.

BROWN, John, an American who helped start the Civil War by

espousing the cause of the negro. This resulted in his body moulding in the

grave.

BROWN, Thomas, an Englishman who reversed the usual procedure

of life by springing into print when young, and keeping out of it when old.

BROWNING, Robert, a cryptogram writer whose poems are

deciphered by the Bostonese and cultured English people. It has been

estimated that B. could say more with fewer words and conceal his

meaning better than any writer since the adaptation of the alphabet as a

means of expression.

BROWNING, Mrs., Bob's wife. She also wrote poems. They were

easily understood, and consequently seldom read.

BRUMMELL, Beau, a man whose thoughts were more for the crease

in his pantaloons than for his head.

BRUTUS, Et Tu, a Roman murderer.

BRYAN, William Jennings, a famous Chatauqua lecturer who ran a

newspaper and the State Department on the side. Archaeologists claim B.

文档加载中……请稍候！
如果长时间未打开，您也可以点击刷新试试。

下载文档到电脑，查找使用更方便

5.9 玖币 0人已下载

立即下载 VIP免费下载

摘要：

WHOWASWHO5000B.C.toDate1WHOWASWHO5000B.C.toDateBiographicalDictionaryoftheFamousandThoseWhoWantedtoBeEditedbyIrwinL.GordonWHOWASWHO5000B.C.toDate2NOTETHEeditorbegsleavetoinformthepublicthatonlypersonswhocanproduceproperevidenceoftheirdemisewillbeadmittedtoWhoWasWho.PressAgentnoticesorcomplimentaryco...

展开>> 收起<<

Who Was Who_5000 B. C. to Date(谁是谁).pdf

共79页,预览16页

还剩页未读，继续阅读

声明：本站为文档C2C交易模式，即用户上传的文档直接被用户下载，本站只是中间服务平台，本站所有文档下载所得的收益归上传人(含作者)所有。玖贝云文库仅提供信息存储空间，仅对用户上传内容的表现方式做保护处理，对上载内容本身不做任何修改或编辑。若文档所含内容侵犯了您的版权或隐私，请立即通知玖贝云文库，我们立即给予删除！

Who Was Who_5000 B. C. to Date(谁是谁)

相关推荐

开通VIP享超值会员特权

作者详情

相关内容

热门标签

举报选择: