THE SLEEPING-CAR(卧车)

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THE SLEEPING-CAR

SCENE: One side of a sleeping-car on the Boston and Albany Road.

The curtains are drawn before most of the berths; from the hooks and rods

hang hats, bonnets, bags, bandboxes, umbrellas, and other travelling gear;

on the floor are boots of both sexes, set out for THE PORTER to black.

THE PORTER is making up the beds in the upper and lower berths

adjoining the seats on which a young mother, slender and pretty, with a

baby asleep on the seat beside her, and a stout old lady, sit confronting

each other--MRS. AGNES ROBERTS and her aunt MARY.

MRS. ROBERTS. Do you always take down your back hair, aunty?

AUNT MARY. No, never, child; at least not since I had such a fright

about it once, coming on from New York. It's all well enough to take

down your back hair if it IS yours; but if it isn't, your head's the best place

for it. Now, as I buy mine of Madame Pierrot -

MRS. ROBERTS. Don't you WISH she wouldn't advertise it as

HUMAN hair? It sounds so pokerish--like human flesh, you know.

AUNT MARY. Why, she couldn't call it INhuman hair, my dear.

MRS. ROBERTS (thoughtfully). No--just HAIR.

AUNT MARY. Then people might think it was for mattresses. But,

as I was saying, I took it off that night, and tucked it safely away, as I

supposed, in my pocket, and I slept sweetly till about midnight, when I

happened to open my eyes, and saw something long and black crawl off

my bed and slip under the berth. SUCH a shriek as I gave, my dear! "A

snake! a snake! oh, a snake!" And everybody began talking at once, and

some of the gentlemen swearing, and the porter came running with the

poker to kill it; and all the while it was that ridiculous switch of mine, that

had worked out of my pocket. And glad enough I was to grab it up

before anybody saw it, and say I must have been dreaming.

MRS. ROBERTS. Why, aunty, how funny! How COULD you

suppose a serpent could get on board a sleeping-car, of all places in the

world!

AUNT MARY. That was the perfect absurdity of it.

THE PORTER. Berths ready now, ladies.

THE SLEEPING-CAR

MRS. ROBERTS (to THE PORTER, who walks away to the end of

the car, and sits down near the door). Oh, thank you. Aunty, do you

feel nervous the least bit?

AUNT MARY. Nervous? No. Why?

MRS. ROBERTS. Well, I don't know. I suppose I've been worked

up a little about meeting Willis, and wondering how he'll look, and all. We

can't KNOW each other, of course. It doesn't stand to reason that if he's

been out there for twelve years, ever since I was a child, though we've

corresponded regularly--at least _I_ have--that he could recognize me; not

at the first glance, you know. He'll have a full beard; and then I've got

married, and here's the baby. Oh, NO! he'll never guess who it is in the

world. Photographs really amount to nothing in such a case. I wish we

were at home, and it was all over. I wish he had written some particulars,

instead of telegraphing from Ogden, "Be with you on the 7 A.M.,

Wednesday."

AUNT MARY. Californians always telegraph, my dear; they never

think of writing. It isn't expensive enough, and it doesn't make your

blood run cold enough to get a letter, and so they send you one of those

miserable yellow despatches whenever they can--those printed in a long

string, if possible, so that you'll be SURE to die before you get to the end

of it. I suppose your brother has fallen into all those ways, and says

"reckon" and "ornary" and "which the same," just like one of Mr. Bret

Harte's characters.

MRS. ROBERTS. But it isn't exactly our not knowing each other,

aunty, that's worrying me; that's something that could be got over in time.

What is simply driving me distracted is Willis and Edward meeting there

when I'm away from home. Oh, how COULD I be away! and why

COULDN'T Willis have given us fair warning? I would have hurried

from the ends of the earth to meet him. I don't believe poor Edward ever

saw a Californian; and he's so quiet and preoccupied, I'm sure he'd never

get on with Willis. And if Willis is the least loud, he wouldn't like

Edward. Not that I suppose he IS loud; but I don't believe he knows

anything about literary men. But you can see, aunty, can't you, how very

anxious I must be? Don't you see that I ought to have been there when

THE SLEEPING-CAR

Willis and Edward met, so as to--to-- well, to BREAK them to each other,

don't you know?

AUNT MARY. Oh, you needn't be troubled about that, Agnes. I

dare say they've got on perfectly well together. Very likely they're sitting

down to the unwholesomest hot supper this instant that the ingenuity of

man could invent.

MRS. ROBERTS. Oh, do you THINK they are, aunty? Oh, if I

could ONLY believe they were sitting down to a hot supper together now,

I should be SO happy! They'd be sure to get on if they were. There's

nothing like eating to make men friendly with each other. Don't you

know, at receptions, how they never have anything to say to each other till

the escalloped oysters and the chicken salad appear; and then how sweet

they are as soon as they've helped the ladies to ice? Oh, thank you,

THANK you, aunty, for thinking of the hot supper. It's such a relief to

my mind! You can understand, can't you, aunty dear, how anxious I must

have been to have my only brother and my only--my husband--get on

nicely together? My life would be a wreck, simply a wreck, if they didn't.

And Willis and I not having seen each other since I was a child makes it

all the worse. I do HOPE they're sitting down to a hot supper.

AN ANGRY VOICE from the next berth but one. I wish people in

sleeping-cars -

A VOICE from the berth beyond that. You're mistaken in your

premises, sir. This is a waking-car. Ladies, go on, and oblige an eager

listener.

[Sensation, and smothered laughter from the other berths.]

MRS. ROBERTS (after a space of terrified silence, in a loud whisper

to her AUNT.) What horrid things! But now we really must go to bed.

It WAS too bad to keep talking. I'd no idea my voice was getting so loud.

Which berth will you have, aunty? I'd better take the upper one, because

AUNT MARY (whispering). No, no; I must take that, so that you

can be with the baby below.

MRS. ROBERTS. Oh, how good you are, Aunt Mary! It's too bad;

it is really. I can't let you.

THE SLEEPING-CAR

AUNT MARY. Well, then, you must; that's all. You know how that

child tosses and kicks about in the night. You never can tell where his

head's going to be in the morning, but you'll probably find it at the foot of

the bed. I couldn't sleep an instant, my dear, if I thought that boy was in

the upper berth; for I'd be sure of his tumbling out over you. Here, let me

lay him down. [She lays the baby in the lower berth.] There! Now

get in, Agnes--do, and leave me to my struggle with the attraction of

gravitation.

MRS. ROBERTS. Oh, POOR aunty, how will you ever manage it?

I MUST help you up.

AUNT MARY. No, my dear; don't be foolish. But you may go and

call the porter, if you like. I dare say he's used to it.

[MRS. ROBERTS goes and speak timidly to THE PORTER, who fails

at first to understand, then smiles broadly, accepts a quarter with a duck of

his head, and comes forward to AUNT MARY'S side.]

MRS. ROBERTS. Had he better give you his hand to rest your foot

in, while you spring up as if you were mounting horseback?

AUNT MARY (with disdain). SPRING! My dear, I haven't sprung

for a quarter of a century. I shall require every fibre in the man's body.

His hand, indeed! You get in first, Agnes.

MRS. ROBERTS. I will, aunty dear; but -

AUNT MARY (sternly). Agnes, do as I say. [MRS. ROBERTS

crouches down on the lower berth.] I don't choose that any member of

my family shall witness my contortions. Don't you look.

MRS. ROBERTS. No, no, aunty.

AUNT MARY. Now, porter, are you strong?

PORTER. I used to be porter at a Saratoga hotel, and carried up de

ladies' trunks dere.

AUNT MARY. Then you'll do, I think. Now, then, your knee; now

your back. There! And very handsomely done. Thanks.

MRS. ROBERTS. Are you really in, Aunt Mary?

AUNT MARY (dryly). Yes. Good-night.

MRS. ROBERTS. Good-night, aunty. [After a pause of some

minutes.] Aunty!

THE SLEEPING-CAR

AUNT MARY. Well, what?

MRS. ROBERTS. Do you think it's perfectly safe? [She rises in

her berth, and looks up over the edge of the upper.]

AUNT MARY. I suppose so. It's a well-managed road. They've

got the air-brake, I've heard, and the Miller platform, and all those horrid

things. What makes you introduce such unpleasant subjects?

MRS. ROBERTS. Oh, I don't mean accidents. But, you know,

when you turn, it does creak so awfully. I shouldn't mind myself; but the

baby -

AUNT MARY. Why, child, do you think I'm going to break through?

I couldn't. I'm one of the LIGHTEST sleepers in the world.

MRS. ROBERTS. Yes, I know you're a light sleeper; but--but it

doesn't seem quite the same thing, somehow.

AUNT MARY. But it is; it's quite the same thing, and you can be

perfectly easy in your mind, my dear. I should be quite as loth to break

through as you would to have me. Good-night.

MRS. ROBERTS. Yes; good-night, Aunty!

AUNT MARY. Well?

MRS. ROBERTS. You ought to just see him, how he's lying. He's a

perfect log. COULDN'T you just bend over, and peep down at him a

moment?

AUNT MARY. Bend over! It would be the death of me. Good-

night.

MRS. ROBERTS. Good-night. Did you put the glass into my bag

or yours? I feel so very thirsty, and I want to go and get some water. I'm

sure I don't know why I should be thirsty. Are you, Aunt Mary? Ah! here

it is. Don't disturb yourself, aunty; I've found it. It was in my bag, just

where I'd put it myself. But all this trouble about Willis has made me so

fidgety that I don't know where anything is. And now I don't know how

to manage about the baby while I go after the water. He's sleeping

soundly enough now; but if he should happen to get into one of his rolling

moods, he might tumble out on to the floor. Never mind, aunty, I've

thought of something. I'll just barricade him with these bags and shawls.

Now, old fellow, roll as much as you like. If you should happen to hear

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摘要：

THESLEEPING-CAR1THESLEEPING-CARTHESLEEPING-CAR2I.SCENE:Onesideofasleeping-carontheBostonandAlbanyRoad.Thecurtainsaredrawnbeforemostoftheberths;fromthehooksandrodshanghats,bonnets,bags,bandboxes,umbrellas,andothertravellinggear;onthefloorarebootsofbothsexes,setoutforTHEPORTERtoblack.THEPORTERismaking...

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