Dan Simmons - The Offering

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The Offering

by Dan Simmons

Introduction

Just recently, as I write this in the early autumn of 1989, I optioned my novel Carrion Comfort to a film

and TV production group. As is the case with many would-be Ben Hechts, I wanted first crack at the

screenplay.

All right, said the production group, but first let's see what you can do with a half-hour TV script.

I've never written a teleplay or screenplay before, but being a child of the second half of the Twentieth

Century, I feel like I've lived in the movies for most of my life. As a writer, I've heard all of the horror

stories about doing work-for-hire in this particular collaborative medium: the senseless rewrite demands,

the producer's girlfriend sug-gesting a "great idea" that guts your script, the contempt so much of the

industry has for writers ("Didja hear the one about the Polish starlet visiting Hollywood? To get ahead she

slept with all the writers!"), the endless com-promises of quality in the face of budget or perceived

mar-ket demands or whim or ... you name it. The list of aggravations seems infinite.

That's why it was interesting to me that my first attempt at script writing was a lot of fun. The rewrite

suggestions not only were minimal but definitely improved the prod-uct. The people I dealt with were

professionals, and I al-ways enjoy working with people who know their business—whether it's in

carpentry or filmmaking. Of course, my agent says that it was a fluke ... that studio was OK but the next

will drive me to drink and beyond. My agent is a gentleman and a friend ... he humors me ... but I know

that in his heart he thinks that I should quit while I'm ahead.

Well, maybe. Maybe after one more TV show. Then perhaps a movie. Just a little movie ... and then, just

maybe, a twenty-hour mini-series. And then...

Meanwhile, I thought you might be interested in how I decided to adapt "Metastasis" to teleplay form.

Reading scripts is not the easiest or most enjoyable literary pursuit, so if you skip over this entry it's

understandable.

But if you do bear on, it might interest you to know some of the demands and restrictions a low-budget

syndi-cated TV series makes on the writer who's adapting a story.

First, the thing has to run about 22 or 23 pages to fit its half-hour format, averaging about a minute per

page, since the rest of the time is taken up by the fershtugginer commercials that keep so many of us

from watching these syndicated shows.

Second, as I'm sure you know, the "exciting parts" come right before the commercial cluster breaks.

(They don't really give a damn what happens the last few minutes of the show ... they don't need to get

you back after that break.)

Third, budget restrictions on this show allowed only three or four characters, or at least only that many

charac-ters who could speak. No exterior shots (but the director wanted the "windshield" shots in the

opening). Only two interior sets and those easy to construct. Limited special effects—one or two optical

processes, a few seconds of simple animation, and a guy in a monster suit and/or mask.

Fourth, they wanted a new title. "Metastasis" was out. They were afraid the audience would flip channels

rather than watch something with such an ominous, disease-ridden sound to it.

Fifth, one of the top people thought I should also throw out the idea of "cancer vampires"—but, hey, I

had to draw the line somewhere. I pointed out that this was the concept for which they had bought the

story. I rea-soned with them. I used logic. Then I held my breath until I turned blue, pounded my heels on

the linoleum, and threatened to fax them six bales of junk mail if they didn't let me keep my cancer

vampire. They relented.

There's more, but I think you get the idea. The ques-tion I faced was—could I adapt "Metastasis" so that

the essence of the short story survived even while I tossed out major plot elements, characters, settings,

and structure for the reasons listed above?

I found the challenge rather enjoyable. As I write this, the studio is just finishing the filming (actually

taping) of "The Offering" and I have no idea when I'll see it. I don't know which actors were chosen. I

can only guess what changes were made in the script during the actual produc-tion. (For those of you

interested, the program will be aired on a syndicated series called monsters, scheduled somewhere

between 11:00 P.M. and 4:00 A.M. in most lo-cal markets. God knows where and when it will be by

the time you read this.)

I'd be curious to know what you think of this adapta-tion.

* * *

ACT I

FADE IN:

1. EXT. A CAR. NIGHT.

We open with a montage of images: E.C.U. of rain on a windshield, the blur of a windshield wiper; we

close on LOUIS—a handsome young man but agitated now, un-shaven, intense, blinking in the glare of

oncoming lights and obviously upset about something—a sudden flash of light too bright to be a passing

car, brakes squealing, metal tearing ... from Louis's P.O.V. we see everything spinning and the glare

expanding, the sound of impact, filling the universe with rising noise and moving light...

DISSOLVE TO:

2. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY.

The moving light blurs, comes into focus, and we see that it is a penlight held by DR. HUBBARD, an

avuncular, older man wearing a white hospital coat over his suit.

DR. HUBBARD

Louis? Louis, can you hear me? Louis?

Louis tries to lift his head but is restrained by the doctor.

DR. HUBBARD

Easy, Louis. Easy. Just lie still for a moment. Do you know where you are?

Louis's head is heavily bandaged. He groans again, tries to lift both hands to his head, but stops—staring

at his hospi-tal ID bracelet, the IV in his left arm, his hospital gown—looking around in surprise. He

moves his head slowly, obviously in great pain, and squints up at the doctor.

LOUIS

Dr. Hubbard? Yeah, I know where I am ... the hospital ... but why? What happened?

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