Mike Resnick - Frankie the Spook
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2024-11-24
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Frankie the Spook
_"Drawing her close to him while breathing heavily with
unspent passion, he slid his hand down the small of her back,
around to her rib cage, up under her..."_
The image of Sir Francis Bacon stopped reading and winced.
"This is really quite dreadful," he announced firmly.
"Really?" asked Marvin Piltch.
Bacon nodded. "Even worse than the last batch. You have set a
new standard of ineptitude."
Marvin sighed. "I was afraid of that."
"And this reference to a boob," continued Bacon. "What,
exactly, _is_ a boob?"
"A tit."
"I beg your pardon?"
"A female breast."
"According to my dictionary programs, it must be a very
unintelligent female breast to be termed a boob."
"Well," said Marvin with a shrug, "when you get right down to
cases, I suppose it is."
"It doesn't make any sense," continued Bacon. "What slang do
you use for the elbow? Do you call it a fool?"
"Not very often," admitted Marvin.
"Ah," said Bacon. "Then you think that the elbow is more
intelligent than the breast?"
Marvin shrugged again. "I have to admit it's not a subject
that I've given a lot of thought to."
"I know. In fact, if there is a subject anywhere in the
universe that you _have_ given a lot of thought to, you certainly
haven't incorporated it in your writings."
"Actually, there _is_ one subject that I've given
considerable thought to."
"Oh?" said Bacon, arching an eyebrow. "And what is that?"
Marvin smiled. "You."
"Somehow I foresaw that the conversation would eventually
take this course," said Bacon sardonically.
"Then you know what I'm going to ask you?"
"Certainly."
Marvin leaned forward and squinted at Bacon's image on his
conputer screen. "Will you do it?"
"Will the greatest writer in the history of the human race
ghostwrite your pitiful little novel?" sneered Bacon. "Absolutely
not."
"But you ghosted for Shakespeare!" protested Marvin. "That's
why I had my computer assemble you."
"Marvin, go write limpware and leave me alone."
"It's called software."
"Whatever it's called, it is obvious to me that you were
meant to work with computers. Your ignorance of the world at large
is superceded only by your ignorance of the English language."
"That's why I need you."
"No."
"But I've got a contract."
"No."
"And it's got penalty clauses for coming in late."
"Then submit it on time."
"And if the editor rejects it, I've got to return the
advance."
"What is that to me?"
"If I have to return the advance, I'll have to pawn the
file:///D|/Documents%20and%20Settings/harry/D...ike%20Resnick%20-%20Frankie%20the%20Spook.txt (1 of 10) [2/24/2004 10:54:47 PM]
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分类：外语学习
价格：5.9玖币
属性：10 页
大小：28.01KB
格式：PDF
时间：2024-11-24
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